Needing a shoulder to cry on...

[giddyupalfie]

(Not a horsey post but if you are a nice person you will read on and help me out )

Okay, maybe I'm being a little bit over dramatic but I'm really stressing out.
I am currently at college training to be a vet nurse and to begin with I was so up for it, but now I'm really doubting whether this is actually what I want to be doing.

The more and more I learn about the job role and responsibilities of a vet nurse, the more and more I feel like backing out. I think the worst of it was learning today that it is a vet nurse's job to take care of the dead bodies, which I was told basically occur everyday in practise. I know death is part of life and it must happen but I am such a softy I really don't think I could handle just shoving a dog, cat or any one of our little friends into a clinical waste bag and just shoving them into the freezer waiting for them to be incinerated.

Also, after hearing stories from my tutor's (who are trained vet nurses and have previously worked in practise) I also don't know if I could put on a brave face when animals come into practise in a bad state. Whether it being malnourished or badly injured in any way. Of course I want to be able to help them but sometimes our help isn't enough and unfortunately they still pass away. I just know that I would really beat myself up about it if things ended badly.

I know this post is really pointless to a lot of people and reading it back it kinda doesn't make any sense. Just finding it hard to put into words how I'm feeling right now, but does anyone have any advice for me?! Positive or negative...I'm a big girl and can take it all in my stride

*cookies, cream, milk, chocolate and whatever goodies you want for getting this far!!!*

 

[Spring Feather]

It makes a lot of sense to me You sound like I would have sounded 30 odd years ago when I was probably about the same age as you are now. I couldn't have done those things then either but now, well I do it as a matter of course. I've owned horses and dogs all of my life so I've experienced many deaths over the years. Yes it's sad when animals die but it's something I've gone through so many times that I know the drill and am able to function easily to get the whole job done. It's still sad and I still miss my animals when they go but it's easier to cope with afterwards than it was when I was much younger.

 

[Sheep]

I'm guessing from your username that you are in your first year. Well done for choosing to study something so useful.

It will be difficult to do initially, of course. But you can do your utmost to always treat the patients, living or dead, with the greatest of respect and dignity. That may include putting their bodies in bags, and putting into freezers as you have already outlined, but you can still do it with care and kindness.

Dealing with death in any capacity is never easy. But as you begin to learn more and see the reality of it, you will come to terms with it and be able to work alongside it. It will never be easy, but again, you will be able to deal with it respectfully. As long as you are always doing the best job you can, that is all you can do, really.

Hope that all makes sense.

 

[giddyupalfie]

It makes a lot of sense to me You sound like I would have sounded 30 odd years ago when I was probably about the same age as you are now. I couldn't have done those things then either but now, well I do it as a matter of course. I've owned horses and dogs all of my life so I've experienced many deaths over the years. Yes it's sad when animals die but it's something I've gone through so many times that I know the drill and am able to function easily to get the whole job done. It's still sad and I still miss my animals when they go but it's easier to cope with afterwards than it was when I was much younger.

Yes I know exactly what you mean! I have dealt with the deaths of my own animals and animals close to me. But I suppose that is so much different as you know their history and that they had a good life ect. or if they were ill you feel a ping of relief that they are now out of their pain and suffering, if you get what I mean? Not saying that these other animals didn't have a good life though, obviously you don't really know!

Thank you for your reply

I'm guessing from your username that you are in your first year. Well done for choosing to study something so useful.

It will be difficult to do initially, of course. But you can do your utmost to always treat the patients, living or dead, with the greatest of respect and dignity. That may include putting their bodies in bags, and putting into freezers as you have already outlined, but you can still do it with care and kindness.

Dealing with death in any capacity is never easy. But as you begin to learn more and see the reality of it, you will come to terms with it and be able to work alongside it. It will never be easy, but again, you will be able to deal with it respectfully. As long as you are always doing the best job you can, that is all you can do, really.

Hope that all makes sense.

No, that all makes sense and I totally understand you!
Yes I am in my first year, started in September all bright eyed and bushy tailed I also think it doesn't help that I'm not in a working practise as a handful of my classmates are so I am not witnessing it all first hand. Once I am in practise and seeing how it is all dealt with then I probably will realise that it's not half as bad as I am expecting it to be. I don't mean the process of how they do it being bad, I mean the way I handle it myself.

I'm completely rambling now as I'm just so confused as to what to do...sorry but thank you for your reply anyway!

 

[Sheep]

You'll be grand!

I would say, possibly, that perhaps it is best to sit out the rest of the academic year and see how you feel. If you then are sure that it is not for you, you might be able to change courses for next year. Not ideal, but if you were to stop now, it is a bit late to change. Hopefully you are just suffering from cold feet!

 

[Tickles]

Funnily enough it can go full-circle. My mum, who was great with these things when we were little, was nearly in tears watching her 'grown up' daughter take a small fluffy to be PTS by a vet (also about my age as it happens) the other day. Not about the fluffy, more about me having grown up I think!

Yes, it'll be hard at times. But you'll also probably find nice ways of dealing with it for you and the patients/clients.

You will have to get used to it if you want to continue with this career path though!

 

[Spring Feather]

You'll be grand!

I would say, possibly, that perhaps it is best to sit out the rest of the academic year and see how you feel. If you then are sure that it is not for you, you might be able to change courses for next year. Not ideal, but if you were to stop now, it is a bit late to change. Hopefully you are just suffering from cold feet!

Great advice ^^^ Give it a bash for a while longer

 

[karen_c]

I'm guessing from your username that you are in your first year. Well done for choosing to study something so useful.

It will be difficult to do initially, of course. But you can do your utmost to always treat the patients, living or dead, with the greatest of respect and dignity. That may include putting their bodies in bags, and putting into freezers as you have already outlined, but you can still do it with care and kindness.

Dealing with death in any capacity is never easy. But as you begin to learn more and see the reality of it, you will come to terms with it and be able to work alongside it. It will never be easy, but again, you will be able to deal with it respectfully. As long as you are always doing the best job you can, that is all you can do, really.

Hope that all makes sense.

^^^ This entirely.

It doesn't occur every day...but yes, most days there are animals who are badly injured, seriously ill, or who sadly don't make it. It isn't easy to deal with but as Sheep has said, if you can do your job with care, respect and kindness you will make a massive difference to these animals and their owners.

Most of us who work as vets or nurses find a way of coming to terms with it and being able to do the job without getting too upset...although every now and then there is that one patient who gets to you

Having said all of that, for all the bad days and the sad things you see, sometimes those animals who come in looking terrible walk out the door looking brilliant and (cheesy as it sounds !) that's what makes the rubbish days worth it

You sound like you have a great deal of care and compassion for your prospective patients which are definitely important qualities in a good nurse...Have you reached the stage of going to get practical experience at local practices yet? Maybe that will help you to decide if this is the right career for you?

 

[SophieLouBee]

I had to deal with all the gruesome bits when I worked as an out of hours Vet Receptionist/Admin/Assistant. I say 'had' to, I chose to, I didn't have to do anything, but because it interested me, I said, yeah why not!

I had to do 'bagging & tagging' as it was so aptly named, holding of various animals if nurse was unavailable, I was in theatre too. Working in out of hours, a lot of the things that came in were critical, dying, or the few that were just owners over-reacting.... All the nice jobs then!

I'm not what you'd call a sensitive soul, and am rather fascinated by such things. There were only two things that got me, the smell of dead things/poop/dead things that have just involuntarily pooed, and having to see totally devastated owners. You sort of get used to the rest of it (I have a really sensitive sense of smell, hence the smell thing ), but seeing a person that has just lost what was probably a best friend, is never something I could get used to.

Man, I'd never had have to have dealt with such things in a normal veterinary practice! NEVER, work in an out of hours practice, it's hell.

I could have gone on to do nursing, but I didn't, purely because of some of the politics that I witnessed go on, and my life is horses!

 

[giddyupalfie]

You'll be grand!

I would say, possibly, that perhaps it is best to sit out the rest of the academic year and see how you feel. If you then are sure that it is not for you, you might be able to change courses for next year. Not ideal, but if you were to stop now, it is a bit late to change. Hopefully you are just suffering from cold feet!

Yeah I have decided 100% that I WILL finish this year and then see about next. The only problem with next years course is that I need to have a work placement to continue. And that seems to be the hard part. A girl in my class has been looking for a placement for 6 years. She has contacted practises as far as Essex and London area (we are based in Exeter, Devon) and still not had any luck. Suppose all I can do is try!

Funnily enough it can go full-circle. My mum, who was great with these things when we were little, was nearly in tears watching her 'grown up' daughter take a small fluffy to be PTS by a vet (also about my age as it happens) the other day. Not about the fluffy, more about me having grown up I think!

Yes, it'll be hard at times. But you'll also probably find nice ways of dealing with it for you and the patients/clients.

You will have to get used to it if you want to continue with this career path though!

Bless your mum! That is so sweet
Yeah I think I will eventually get used to it. I just need to be around it all now. It's okay learning about it in lesson's but nothing can prepare you for the real thing!

Great advice ^^^ Give it a bash for a while longer

Definately think I will! Thank you for your replies

^^^ This entirely.

It doesn't occur every day...but yes, most days there are animals who are badly injured, seriously ill, or who sadly don't make it. It isn't easy to deal with but as Sheep has said, if you can do your job with care, respect and kindness you will make a massive difference to these animals and their owners.

Most of us who work as vets or nurses find a way of coming to terms with it and being able to do the job without getting too upset...although every now and then there is that one patient who gets to you

Having said all of that, for all the bad days and the sad things you see, sometimes those animals who come in looking terrible walk out the door looking brilliant and (cheesy as it sounds !) that's what makes the rubbish days worth it

You sound like you have a great deal of care and compassion for your prospective patients which are definitely important qualities in a good nurse...Have you reached the stage of going to get practical experience at local practices yet? Maybe that will help you to decide if this is the right career for you?

I can imagine what you mean...watching someone cry under any circumstances is horrible! I know it sounds silly after this whole rant but I am really passionate about doing this. I want to be able to help patients out! I think it's all the really boring paper work in class which makes me double think. But hey ho, once the training is out of the way I'll be doing practical work most of the time so I shouldn't moan really! Just me being silly

I had to deal with all the gruesome bits when I worked as an out of hours Vet Receptionist/Admin/Assistant. I say 'had' to, I chose to, I didn't have to do anything, but because it interested me, I said, yeah why not!

I had to do 'bagging & tagging' as it was so aptly named, holding of various animals if nurse was unavailable, I was in theatre too. Working in out of hours, a lot of the things that came in were critical, dying, or the few that were just owners over-reacting.... All the nice jobs then!

I'm not what you'd call a sensitive soul, and am rather fascinated by such things. There were only two things that got me, the smell of dead things/poop/dead things that have just involuntarily pooed, and having to see totally devastated owners. You sort of get used to the rest of it (I have a really sensitive sense of smell, hence the smell thing ), but seeing a person that has just lost what was probably a best friend, is never something I could get used to.

Man, I'd never had have to have dealt with such things in a normal veterinary practice! NEVER, work in an out of hours practice, it's hell.

I could have gone on to do nursing, but I didn't, purely because of some of the politics that I witnessed go on, and my life is horses!

Awww - "bagging and tagging" that sounds so horrible doesn't it what type of animals do you have to deal with when you bag and tag? Is it your usual dog, cats, small furrys ect?

I'm kind of okay with poop actually, ha! Obviously it's not my favourite thing to do in the world but I can deal with it okay-ish. Same for wee. Vomit is a bit of a different story but I'm sure I'll live

I think when it come to dealing with devastated clients I would just have to try and be professional about it and not start bawling my eyes out with them. I'm sure that wouldn't go down too well.

If you don't mind me asking what were some of the things that you witnessed go on? You don't have to answer if you don't want to I did consider working with horses too but came to the decision that I'd rather keep my horses as a very expensive hobby! I was also considering dog grooming at one time. That is actually what I went college to enroll for but walked out being a trainee vet nurse...

 

[Ladydragon]

I really don't think I could handle just shoving a dog, cat or any one of our little friends into a clinical waste bag and just shoving them into the freezer waiting for them to be incinerated.
<snip>
I also don't know if I could put on a brave face when animals come into practise in a bad state. Whether it being malnourished or badly injured in any way. Of course I want to be able to help them but sometimes our help isn't enough and unfortunately they still pass away. I just know that I would really beat myself up about it if things ended badly.

But you wouldn't be 'shoving' them around... You'd probably give them a last stroke and carefully deal with their body in as dignified a manner as you can in the circumstances...

And if cruelty, accidents, senseless injuries etc DON'T touch your heart and make you care, you would, IMO, be in the wrong job...

You can't save the world Cloe and sometimes it's tough; but you also get the chance to give an old animal a new lease of life by assisting with their clinical needs; or help a terribly malnourished animal come back to life with some TLC you give them; or see a kiddie's face light up when you help repair Fluffy after a run in with a car so she can go home in one piece...

Keep caring and questioning that you are doing the best you can for patients... Sounds like a good combination for a nurse, any nurse, in my opinion...

 

[giddyupalfie]

But you wouldn't be 'shoving' them around... You'd probably give them a last stroke and carefully deal with their body in as dignified a manner as you can in the circumstances...

And if cruelty, accidents, senseless injuries etc DON'T touch your heart and make you care, you would, IMO, be in the wrong job...

You can't save the world Cloe and sometimes it's tough; but you also get the chance to give an old animal a new lease of life by assisting with their clinical needs; or help a terribly malnourished animal come back to life with some TLC you give them; or see a kiddie's face light up when you help repair Fluffy after a run in with a car so she can go home in one piece...

Keep caring and questioning that you are doing the best you can for patients... Sounds like a good combination for a nurse, any nurse, in my opinion...

Ah, that makes me sound so horrible now doesn't it - saying about 'shoving' them in a bag. I really didn't mean it to sound to heartless!! and your right Ladydragon, I would be handling them with a lot of care and dignity. As you said, giving them one last stroke and handling their body with as much care as I possibly can. It's not that I don't want to handle the bodies...it's more the fact that I'm worried about getting stupidly upset but as other people have said, I know I would eventually get used to it and find my own way of dealing with it.

I certainly wouldn't be in the wrong job as all of the things you mentioned certainly tug on my heart strings an incredibe amount and I know that whether I decide to take a vet nurse career or not, they will always touch my heart.

You have certainly made me feel a lot more positive about all this and helped to make me realise that I do believe I can do this. How long I'll feel like this I don't know...but for now I am happy

I really appreciate yours and everyone elses replies,
Thanks guys! xx

 

[Ladydragon]

Ah, that makes me sound so horrible now doesn't it - saying about 'shoving' them in a bag. I really didn't mean it to sound to heartless!!

Oh no!!! Not at all... I didn't mean it in that way Cloe... Apologies if that's how it came across...

More perhaps gently challenging your own perception that it is a thankless task and very removed from what we normally consider as caring for animals... There's no shame in shedding a few tears on a furry critter that's just gone on its final journey or shedding some tears with clients who've had to have their beloved pet euthanised - I had a teary eyed vet last week when I had to have my old moggie PTS... But it is balanced with heart warming moments too...

 

[Stacey6897]

I'm kind of okay with poop actually, ha! Obviously it's not my favourite thing to do in the world but I can deal with it okay-ish. Same for wee. Vomit is a bit of a different story but I'm sure I'll live

I did work experience at a vets, the thing I was most bothered about was pus, especially when it's unexpected, bursting abcesses was far worse than any poo or wee

It may be that once you're in there the things you expected would bother you don't

Have you tried volunteering? Can you get some experience of a practice before the end of this academic year?

 

[SuseP]

Well put ladydragon. I work with animals in a job where there are very high mortality rates and you do get used to it. Very recently we had an animal in that really got to me emotionally (a welfare case) and in a way I was glad because it reminded me how important it is to still give a damn. Try not to get hung up on how you will cope when you see it all first hand - you just will. Its often not as dramatic as you think and you will be part of a team. I used to teach VN's and they're pretty much all big softee's deep down, hence the vocation. Good luck to you.

 

[Booboos]

You have to remember as well that there will be many happy stories, many times when you will be able to save animals, many grateful owners to remember. That doesn't mean that you won't feel sad about the other patients, but at least the job will have a lot of highlights and happy days as well.

I don't know if this thought helps at all but looking after sick and dying animals is a really hard task, but if the people who did it did not care it wouldn't be good for the animal. It's the people who do care who make the best nurses, so it's a tough job but it can only be done well by those who find it tough.

 

[traceyann]

I did some training with some vets my week tear ducts ended that career. I was supposed to comfort the owners i think i cried harder than them i was useless. I could deal with cuts and everything just not pts hated it and got quite depressed.So i feel for you

 

[Tinsel Trouble]

I went to Harper Adams and lots of my friends and all my house mates were training to be Vet Nurses. They all said that the first set of placements (from memory they did 2 months of placement and 4 months of lectures...) was the hardest. Then they were able to understand that yes death does happen, but you also get to concentrate on the fluffy ones and the ones that you help to pull through.

Keep going, it will get easier and you will have the most fulfilling job imagineable! If I had my time again I would look at vet nursing!

When we had our big horse put to sleep after 35 years of owning him the vet cried, and he cried when he pts my instructors horse. It was lovely knowing that someone else cared that much about the animals you consider family. It was never seen as a sign of weakness.

Incidentally he is now retired and has trained to lead humanist funerals.

 

[Spiritedly]

I worked as a vet nurse 20 odd years ago and you find what gets you past all the animals you can't help is all the ones you can. For every one that is pts you have 10 then leave healthy, you need to remember most vets won't put a healthy animal down they would rather try to Rehome them. I agree with the earlier poster poo, pukes nothing it's the smell from abscesses

 

[Kellys Heroes]

I totally agree with what someone said in an above post - I worked in a vet surgery (not as a vet nurse/vet or anything like that, I was in sales!) and often I'd go into the warehouse and see animals left out, with paws or tails hanging out of bags cause they couldn't be bothered putting them in properly - I'd (as long as it wasn't a 'hazard' bag) rearrange the poor things and put them in the freezer - my thoughts were that was someone's beloved pet, dead or alive it should be treated with the dignity it deserves, not left on the floor all twisted.
I vowed never to have my animals PTS there after that. Incidentally at our normal vets (not where I worked), the vet cried buckets when she had to put our old GSD to sleep - they'd worked so long and so hard on all her conditions that I suppose it was heart wrenching for them too but it was nice to know they cared so much.

It did get through to me the first few times, but it just became something that was there, I knew it happened.

When I did work experience in the vets, I watched a few PTS and I just had to keep remembering that they had no quality of life and it was the kindest thing to do.

Stick it out for the first year and see how it goes. As you said once you get into practice, it may be easier to deal with - and remember for every horror story, there's generally a good few 'non-horror' stories they just don't get talked about!!
K x

 

[ISHmad]

Must admit I'd struggle with pretty much everything you said in your opening post too OP. BUT people like you, with such a clear love of animals, is just what every owner with a sick pet hopes to find at the surgery.

Whatever you decide, good luck and I hope that you do continue with this.

 

[Tinseltoes]

How do you cope when people bring in HEALTHY animals to be PTS????.I couldnt do it.

 

[ladyt25]

I don't think you'd be normal if those things didn't concern you to be honest but I guess once you're in the role you do sort of get used to it and learn to deal with it in your own way. I would stick at it if i were you and try not to dwell on the 'bad stuff' - as someone says, the good should outweigh the bad - ie all the animals you do 'save' and do the aftercare for.

 

[giddyupalfie]

Thank you everyone for your replies. They've all really helped me out!

I have decided that I will continue and complete this year and apply for work in practise to enable me to continue to next year. All of your posts have made me feel so much more positively about the course...making me realise that yes, animals will be PTS at times, but as people have said, it's normally for the best. I'm sure that witnessing this will make me so much more determined to help the poorly animals that are still with us

 

[applecart14]

Unfortunately practice makes perfect. Same for a knackerman killing his first animal. Vet putting down his first animal. Doctor losing his first patient. I can imagine it is very hard for you, but really the more you do and the more you see the more you will get used to it. It will never be pleasant but with each time the pain will be less and then you won't even think about it because you will have programmed your mind subconsciously to become accustomed to it.

But ultimately you have to decide if you are prepared to do that in the first place. Big hugs xxxx

P.S I wanted to work for the RSPCA, something I've always wanted to do. But then I heard a friend who had done the training tell me that in order to pass you had to put down a healthy kitten and go to a slaughter house and kill a cow. And that was it, my dream was out the window and running down the road.

 

[giddyupalfie]

P.S I wanted to work for the RSPCA, something I've always wanted to do. But then I heard a friend who had done the training tell me that in order to pass you had to put down a healthy kitten and go to a slaughter house and kill a cow. And that was it, my dream was out the window and running down the road.

OMG!!! Is that something that you HAVE to do?! That is horrible and I'm actually really shocked at that! There is no way on this earth that I would ever be able to do that

 

[Sheep]

OMG!!! Is that something that you HAVE to do?! That is horrible and I'm actually really shocked at that! There is no way on this earth that I would ever be able to do that

That story sounds more like one of those "my friend's cousin's husband's sister in law..." type things. I doubt it's true.

 

[Fantasy_World]

But you wouldn't be 'shoving' them around... You'd probably give them a last stroke and carefully deal with their body in as dignified a manner as you can in the circumstances...

And if cruelty, accidents, senseless injuries etc DON'T touch your heart and make you care, you would, IMO, be in the wrong job...

You can't save the world Cloe and sometimes it's tough; but you also get the chance to give an old animal a new lease of life by assisting with their clinical needs; or help a terribly malnourished animal come back to life with some TLC you give them; or see a kiddie's face light up when you help repair Fluffy after a run in with a car so she can go home in one piece...

Keep caring and questioning that you are doing the best you can for patients... Sounds like a good combination for a nurse, any nurse, in my opinion...

I can't speak for all veterinary practices and if times have indeed changed as I have not since experienced the 'behind the scenes' approach to a practice.
All I can say is that my experience as a teenager in the 80's left me with a bitter taste.
I did not witness that much compassion or dignity in death in the practice where I got a weekend job. It was my first and only job involving animals and after wanting to train as a vet from a young age it was suited to my chosen career path.
That job put me off for life.
Animals were put to sleep that I believe should not have been imo. I believe it was done not for the welfare of the animal but to ring another payment into the till. After all euthanasia of small animals or pets is one of the quickest consultations you will see in a vets. There will be no follow up appointment or lengthy examination. Animal is brought in assessed, explanation heard, a syringe drawn up and administered and said animal either leaves with the client or else disposed of by the practice.
The vet that I worked for did not at that time that I know of offer any personal cremation service.
Animals were not dealt with by compassion.
It was a quick lets get dead animal into the bag, wipe over the table and usher in the next client, or at least that is how it felt.
I have seen animals ( and helped, did not like it) pushed and shoved into bags. Legs bent up, bodies doubled and so on. Just slid off the table and into a bag, so undignified.
If bags could not be found a vet who could be rude anyway would tell me in no uncertain terms and even demonstrated this, to go outside where said bodies were kept. Open up a bag and place Mrs A's dead cat on top of Mr B's dead dog even if that dog had been dead for at least a few days.
It was undignified, and not the image you would imagine if you had left your animal with the vet to euthanise or to dispose of after being pts.
The things I witnessed as a then 15 year old did scar me. So much so that I gave up wanting to be a vet.
I know insist that any animal I take to be pts comes home with me for burial and my last pet my beloved cat was taken to be individually cremated myself!

 

[Annagain]

You might find the "work you" is very different from the "everyday you". My husband is a traffic cop and has seen and dealt with some awful things with no problems. Out of work he nearly passes out walking into the vet with the dog!

 

[Hollie15]

It is amazing how quick you can build up a 'shell' to these kind of things.

When I was 18 I started working in a brain injury unit, dealing with people whose lives had been torn about and some were in quite a bad way. But you get used to it, as horrible as it sounds. You need to. Don't get me wrong, I had massive empathy and sympathy, and there were a few cases that 'got me'.

Now at 23 I have moved on to working in a prison, and now dealing with people that have done all kinds of terrible things, but it doesn't bother me. I believe I now have my shell, and things don't affect me.

Course I'm only human and sometimes things will get to me, (not been at prison that long) but what I'm trying to get at is you adapt to the horrible stuff and build up tolerance to how much it affects you. Surely the good of being a vet nurse can outweigh the bad stuff? I did do a week work exp in a vets, and the bagging and sticking in a freezer shocked me! But just remember once they have gone, they are just an empty body, their soul has gone to heaven.

Hope you continue and can overcome this, build resilience and strength. It would be a very rewarding career!