Negative opinions - Help!!

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Why do some people always seem to know a better way to ride my horse and can't help but express where they think I am going wrong. I get really frustrated when people have a negative opinion whether I ask for it or not and criticise me when things don't quite go to plan and some of these people don't even compete or jump themselves. My horse has great ability but also sometimes he has a great attitude problem when competing so some days with him can be very difficult and dissapointing but the good days make up for it. I have regular lessons with a brilliant instructor who knows my horse and is very supportive of both of us and competes my boy when things get bad and he experiences the same problems with him. I can't help but be affected by comments from people who have never even sat on him.

Does anyone else experience this and have any ideas how I can overcome how this affects me as I know I have achieved more than I ever dreamed of for myself and with my horse. It can only have a negative effect on my riding. I suppose it is similar to backseat driver syndrome but I just need to let these negatives comments wash over me.
 
No, never experienced it. I find people at shows tend to keep to themselves and my friends will only ever say bad luck when something goes wrong. They only person I have to put up with making the odd snide remark is my sister, but that is probably a sister thing.
 
its jealousy - i get it all the time at my yard, if people ask me how ive got on at a competition and i say i did really well they arent interested, but if i say horse was a sod then they are. Equally they are only interested in me when my new youngster is playing up with me, not when hes being a saint.

just ignore people like that and get on with things your way. like youve said youve got a good instructor and your horse can sometimes be difficult which isnt your fault.
 
If you were selected to ride on the next Olympic squad there would be a queue of people beating a path to your door to tell you that you're rubbish, they could have done better and where you're going wrong!! If they have nothing better to do and think about than you and your riding then they are to be pitied. Bollocks to them, if any of them were so great then they'd be on horses doing something worth looking at rather than criticising you. They are just jealous as you have a horse who can and does go out and perform well. Stick with your instructor and try not to give these people the time of day. Sadly there are plenty of them - I moved from a yard full of them a couple of years ago.
 
I totally get that too. it is horrible, people only want to know me or be friendly if I have fallen off or am having trouble with one of my horses, I dont here a peep from certain people when im doing well, makes you sick!!
 
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I can't help but be affected by comments from people who have never even sat on him.

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I know its difficult, but try not to let it get to you. People can always say things from the floor, but it doesnt mean they are right, or that they can get on and do it thmselves! I am sure you are doing your very best with the horse, so just keep going and prove people wrong
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People that make snidy comments, the majority of the time, are NOT the people getting on and doing it!

I know people that critisize and bitch about peoples jumping til their blue in the face - to make themselves feel better as it makes them sound like they know what they are doing - then i stopped and thought hang on ... when was the last time YOU jumped your own/any horse?! I stay away from people like this as they are no good.

Dont get down about it. You are a better person and atleast your on board trying it, next time someones being gobby say how about YOU get on and do it better then ? 8 times out of 10 they will have an excuse why not to!!
 
This is so common in the horse world, I'm afraid. I love my horses, and I love riding and competing, but the people...I could do without a lot of them!!

I don't know what it is about horses, but they seem to attract people who think they have the right to comment on other people's riding, and never in a very positive way, unfortunately!

And livery yards are the worst, I'm afraid, because there are normally at least a few there who think they know what they're doing but don't actually have a clue. And yes, they are invariably the ones who are not good riders themselves, or even don't ride much at all.

You MUSTN'T let it get to you. I know it's hard, and in the past it has driven me bonkers (I now rent my own yard, so I don't have to deal with things like that!) but please don't let it upset you.

Basically, your trainer is the one you should listen to and you need to find a nice way of getting any other busybodies to back off.

In the past, when I have had a difficult horse to ride, I have said, 'I can only have one person giving me advice, otherwise it gets confusing for me, so I'm just going to stick with what my trainer says. But thanks anyway'. Keep saying it (probably through gritted teeth) until they get the message.

Then go out and have a lovely time competing on your horse, and flash your rozzas in front of them when you come home!!

Good luck!
 
Thats the horse world for you my dear!!! I have had the same for the 3 years I have had my horse. People were very quick to label him in a negative light and say I should get rid and then 3 years on when we are going well and doing stuff..it's all down to 'luck'!!!!!! Not the graft and patience I have put in at all!
But I find that people want to only hear if he has been playing up and are not interested in our successes. I ignore the lot of them, do my own thing with my horse and ram all the good PR about my horse down their throats whether they want it or not!!!!! LOL!
 
Thanks for all your positive comments guys its much appreciated. I will try to not let other peoples comments get to me, lol.
 
ask yourself this, do they know you? Do they know your horse? do you value their opinion? Are you pleased with yourself?
I suspect the majority of those answers is NO. The main point is that you will always get people who try to 'help' or to be involved without being invited, but unless they know you or your horse what they say can not be of any value or valid.
therefore nod politely and carry on with what you are doing.
Best of luck
Dawn
 
echo above comments, its the horse world unfortunately.

When I had a naughty horse who I loved but wasnt the best at jumping, everyone was so nice...I got a fab ex grade A and suddenly people turned!

I have got on with it, had snide comments all the way, to the odd people that I have heard or known well enough, I have told them to have a try on titch!! They have soon seen that he is not at all push button!!! - in fact he is harder to ride than a horse who has never jumped as he expects precision and I cant see a stride for toffee!!

Let them get on with it, its jealousy and I overcame the comments and people that I care about know that I simply love my horses and my family, will do anything for a real friend and other than that no-one else matters!

Just waiting for comments on the new one, then someone else can have a turn with a nice buck or two!!

Dont let them get to you, do your own thing, plod along in your own way, do what you want with YOUR horse!!

People suggested all sorts when I got titch, the simple fact was we needed to get to know each other, it took a couple of years but we are firm friends now and have fun and he a sod for anyone else that rides him lol!! Bless him!
 
'In my experience, the most vocal people are the ones that struggle to ride one side of a horse. '


How true this is..... we have a yard knowit all..... and the only horse she can ride is hers, she has tried everyone elses and they are all either in need of the dentist, got a bad back, various neurological disorders etc,,, not one goes badly because she is on their back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I would have thought "most" people who comment have nothing less than "good intention" when they comment.

There are those who love nit picking. But when you look at these people as a whole? They are normally very sad people.

If you are constantly improving and your horse is in good health? You aren't doing much wrong, are you?
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