negotiating with sharers..

Ha ha I know, didn't mean that you were calling her lazy just that her calling herself lazy must be sarcastic. You know she has a wee temper lurking in there and it sounded to me like she was making a point. Glad you got it all sorted, it sounds like a 'mare.
 
Look Im from around this general area of the OP and prices for various things around here have shot up. Two of the major hay suppliers in the area didnt get a full cut from their fields this year, same with straw so shavings have went up and the little straw that is available has went up in price as well.

Livery around this area is plentiful BUT the better plaes are that little bit more expensive. This wasnt a thread to pull the OPs finances apart, nor to suggest she sells her horse, what if its an oldie, then she would be slated for selling it, its perfectly healthy but elderly should she put it down despite still being rideable?? Damned if you do and damned if you dont on here sometimes :rolleyes:.

This is an expensive time of year for families and extra bills that are unexpected sometimes rankle a bit I know Im on a tight budget and unexpected outgoings just throw everything off.

OP chat with sharers, get everything hammered out in writing about what days everyone is doing and everyone sticks to it. I work shifts, and i can make it to my horses everyday as the days dont change just the times I can get up there at does and I swtich between earlies and lates everyweek :) When your handing out your sharers Xmas (card or whatever if you give anything) maybe hand them a sheet with the days on it and get them to choose a day then you sort it and fill in the gaps then if the sharer is wanting to ride with her friend she can tell her friend what days she has picked and then everyone knows where they stand :)

Hope this helps :)
 
Pricing is what it is, our diy starts at £325 a month inc hay, grass is £270 and sharers on our yard pay £200 a month generally for 3 days a week - that will shock some of you but that is Surrey hills!

Op seems like you are sorting it all out. I don't know your sharer but she seems like she may be worried to say no so says yes to any arrangement you throw at her until she realises she is really stuck (its something I would do as I like to "keep the peace"). Therefore set days sounds ideal, with a fixed price regardless whether you ride or not. That way you also know what days you can do extra shifts at work to bring in money to cover the days you need care for fox. Good luck!
 
Xmas Beastie said:
Look Im from around this general area of the OP and prices for various things around here have shot up. Two of the major hay suppliers in the area didnt get a full cut from their fields this year, same with straw so shavings have went up and the little straw that is available has went up in price as well.

Livery around this area is plentiful BUT the better plaes are that little bit more expensive. This wasnt a thread to pull the OPs finances apart, nor to suggest she sells her horse, what if its an oldie, then she would be slated for selling it, its perfectly healthy but elderly should she put it down despite still being rideable?? Damned if you do and damned if you dont on here sometimes :rolleyes:.

This is an expensive time of year for families and extra bills that are unexpected sometimes rankle a bit I know Im on a tight budget and unexpected outgoings just throw everything off.

OP chat with sharers, get everything hammered out in writing about what days everyone is doing and everyone sticks to it. I work shifts, and i can make it to my horses everyday as the days dont change just the times I can get up there at does and I swtich between earlies and lates everyweek :) When your handing out your sharers Xmas (card or whatever if you give anything) maybe hand them a sheet with the days on it and get them to choose a day then you sort it and fill in the gaps then if the sharer is wanting to ride with her friend she can tell her friend what days she has picked and then everyone knows where they stand :)

Hope this helps :)
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thank you for this! hopefully this will all work out as i dont need anymore extra stress atm! sharer seems quite happy just now so hopefully will continue!

Ella19 said:
Pricing is what it is, our diy starts at £325 a month inc hay, grass is £270 and sharers on our yard pay £200 a month generally for 3 days a week - that will shock some of you but that is Surrey hills!

Op seems like you are sorting it all out. I don't know your sharer but she seems like she may be worried to say no so says yes to any arrangement you throw at her until she realises she is really stuck (its something I would do as I like to "keep the peace"). Therefore set days sounds ideal, with a fixed price regardless whether you ride or not. That way you also know what days you can do extra shifts at work to bring in money to cover the days you need care for fox. Good luck!
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thank you :)
 
this will sound worse than I would like it to...

OP is there much point in you owning your horse atm? Would you not be better off ful loaning her? It seems you dont have the time nor money to keep her if a sharer was to drop out. You only pay a third of her keep at the moment and you are strapped and it has caused a huge disruption that your sharer wants a different day?

IMO if a sharer is paying to care for your horse because you do not have the time then it should be THEIR availability that is important, not your own. If they did it for free or you paid them (makes more sense to me) then yes you could expect them to be more readily availabl.
 
littlemisslauren said:
this will sound worse than I would like it to...

OP is there much point in you owning your horse atm? Would you not be better off ful loaning her? It seems you dont have the time nor money to keep her if a sharer was to drop out. You only pay a third of her keep at the moment and you are strapped and it has caused a huge disruption that your sharer wants a different day?

IMO if a sharer is paying to care for your horse because you do not have the time then it should be THEIR availability that is important, not your own. If they did it for free or you paid them (makes more sense to me) then yes you could expect them to be more readily availabl.
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the situation is sorted
 
weesophz said:
lists is my thing!
not sure how i can make this into a list though.. haha!
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Lists! I like lists as well! Haha.
Example :)

Days you can do - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday
Days sharer 1 can do - Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday
Days sharer 2 can do - Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Monday - you, s2
Tuesday - s1
Wednesday - you, s1
Thursday - you, s1, s2
Friday - s2
Saturday - you, s2
Sunday - you, s1

Depending on how many days they need each, then split it up ino set days:

Monday: you
Tuesday: s1
Etc.
 
sorry not read all the replies but either do fixed days for yourself and the 2 sharers or do a rota type thing for a month in advance.
sit down with them both and go through it, make it clear that if they can't do one of the days that is set out in the rota and neither you or other sharer can't do it then they pay the yard to do your horse.
at least that way it will be clear for all of you and you can keep track of everything.
 
Malin100 said:
Lists! I like lists as well! Haha.
Example :)

Days you can do - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday
Days sharer 1 can do - Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday
Days sharer 2 can do - Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Monday - you, s2
Tuesday - s1
Wednesday - you, s1
Thursday - you, s1, s2
Friday - s2
Saturday - you, s2
Sunday - you, s1

Depending on how many days they need each, then split it up ino set days:

Monday: you
Tuesday: s1
Etc.
Click to expand...

love this haha thanks!
 
I came across my 'share' a few months ago, owner had just bought the horse and was moving to this city from a few hundred miles away. I helped her find a yard and went yard shopping with her, helped her find transport and a vet, organised a farrier. I took her to visit the horse whilst he was still at her old yard over an hour away, and took her shopping etc. She is busy with other commitments and can only visit horse once or twice a week, so I look after him every other day, including if she's been up and left him in, I then go up later and turn him back out for her, or if I know she's going up, I swing past on the way to work and bring him in as I know she has a long bus journey.

I ADORE the horse, love the bones of it, and would do anything for him and his owner. I pay around, if not more the going rate of a share to be able to ride this special horse, although I am responsible for most of the care. In the past I have been the one PAID for this sort of arrangement but hey ho.

Owner has decided that she needs more money towards him and has now taken on a second sharer and to be honest, I'm completely deflated. She says she is a good rider, but I know this horse well enough to know that it doesn't matter if it was Carl Hester, Charlotte Dujardin and Laura Bechtolsheimer who were sharing him, he's too sensitive and too much of a worrier to be able to cope and work to the best of his advantage with 3 different riders.

Seeing the 2nd sharer coming in is disheartening me. She's yet to start actually riding but I'm dreading it. I'm not greedy or selfish, I'm WORRIED that this fantastic horse is about to be ruined. It sinks my gut and I could cry. I've totally been put off riding him etc.

I'm prepared to give it two weeks but the minute I feel he's not 'himself' for the sake of the horse I'll be giving him up. He means to much to me for him to have to stress about who's going to be riding him each day.

The way I'm feeling just now, is that if she can't afford to just have the one sharer and has to bring in a second, she shouldn't have the horse at all. He's not even expensive to keep! On grass livery, front shoes only, and doesn't need fed as he has all hay and box with unlimited straw available for use when you bring him in and for bad weather. I feel like offering to buy him myself and letting her share him, I feel this strongly about it.

I'm not an amazing rider, but I'm not a bad one, but at least if he had only one rider most of the time, then they can improve together, and a second one one or two days a week isn't going to be too bad.

But 3 different riders, the horse isn't going to know who's coming or going....
 
Guesswork, I wouldn't worry. I haven't come across many horses over the years that couldn't cope with more than two riders, but a lot of owners who thought that they couldn't..

I would seriously talk to the owner if you are in a position to buy the horse if you feel that strongly. If she says no and you have enough money to buy a horse, why not buy your own so that this can't happen..? She may well jump at the idea, especially if you would let her share.

And lastly, and I hope that this doesn't come across as nasty, perhaps the owner has brought in a third sharer to dilute the amount of influence you have over her horse..? It sounds as though she hardly does anything with him, could she feel like she is losing him to you?
 
GuessWork said:
I came across my 'share' a few months ago, owner had just bought the horse and was moving to this city from a few hundred miles away. I helped her find a yard and went yard shopping with her, helped her find transport and a vet, organised a farrier. I took her to visit the horse whilst he was still at her old yard over an hour away, and took her shopping etc. She is busy with other commitments and can only visit horse once or twice a week, so I look after him every other day, including if she's been up and left him in, I then go up later and turn him back out for her, or if I know she's going up, I swing past on the way to work and bring him in as I know she has a long bus journey.

I ADORE the horse, love the bones of it, and would do anything for him and his owner. I pay around, if not more the going rate of a share to be able to ride this special horse, although I am responsible for most of the care. In the past I have been the one PAID for this sort of arrangement but hey ho.

Owner has decided that she needs more money towards him and has now taken on a second sharer and to be honest, I'm completely deflated. She says she is a good rider, but I know this horse well enough to know that it doesn't matter if it was Carl Hester, Charlotte Dujardin and Laura Bechtolsheimer who were sharing him, he's too sensitive and too much of a worrier to be able to cope and work to the best of his advantage with 3 different riders.

Seeing the 2nd sharer coming in is disheartening me. She's yet to start actually riding but I'm dreading it. I'm not greedy or selfish, I'm WORRIED that this fantastic horse is about to be ruined. It sinks my gut and I could cry. I've totally been put off riding him etc.

I'm prepared to give it two weeks but the minute I feel he's not 'himself' for the sake of the horse I'll be giving him up. He means to much to me for him to have to stress about who's going to be riding him each day.

The way I'm feeling just now, is that if she can't afford to just have the one sharer and has to bring in a second, she shouldn't have the horse at all. He's not even expensive to keep! On grass livery, front shoes only, and doesn't need fed as he has all hay and box with unlimited straw available for use when you bring him in and for bad weather. I feel like offering to buy him myself and letting her share him, I feel this strongly about it.

I'm not an amazing rider, but I'm not a bad one, but at least if he had only one rider most of the time, then they can improve together, and a second one one or two days a week isn't going to be too bad.

But 3 different riders, the horse isn't going to know who's coming or going....
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if you feel like offering to buy him, then you can obviously afford it, so why not pay the owner more money so that she doesn't have to get another sharer? you are judging this person before you have even see her ride and to be honest its not your horse! why would you give a horse up just because there is another sharer?!?!
 
I'm in the position that I could keep him, it would the initial price of the horse thats the trouble! And because I don't want to take out a loan etc, I am saving into an ISA, and sharing at the minute. Though I'd love a horse NOW, in this climate I believe its wise to keep unnecesarry debt to an absolute minimum!

Honey, no offence taken, its purely financial the reason she's taken on another sharer, as she says she appreciates all I do for him and without me, she couldn't have him.

The 3 rider thing, its just off putting. He's so senstive and a worrier along with the fact that if they ride differently, the next time I get on it takes so long to get him back into what we were working on before...

eg. Few weeks ago we were working on soft back, soft transitions, soft into the rein, soft soft soft everywhere. after 4 days we finally cracked it, he felt fab. Owner came up, with her friends, let them have a sit on and then jumped him, where he'd obviously gotten strong etc.

I jumped on the next day and we were right back at square one. leaning on hands, pulling through transitions, stiff in the neck etc. back was tight and he was jumpy and seemed worried.

Obviously I can't tell her not to, its her horse... but I can only imagine what would happen with 3 people.

I could eventually go and buy another horse, but this boy is very special and although pricey, was bought for less than you would normally pay for a horse schooling at that level. And he's so nice to be around, and easy going on the ground. Be pretty hard to find another like him.
 
GuessWork I can understand you not wanting to be around a horse you care about and see it get ruined. But leaving for the horses sake makes no sense. If the owner needs two sharers, she will just replace you with someone else. The horse will still end up with three riders.

OP put the horse on full livery, split the cost 3 ways, give the sharers 3 days each to be fair. The horse gets one day off. Ask them to let you know if they're not riding on one of their days, so you can ride.
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
GuessWork I can understand you not wanting to be around a horse you care about and see it get ruined. But leaving for the horses sake makes no sense. If the owner needs two sharers, she will just replace you with someone else. The horse will still end up with three riders.
OP put the horse on full livery, split the cost 3 ways, give the sharers 3 days each to be fair. The horse gets one day off. Ask them to let you know if they're not riding on one of their days, so you can ride.
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Thats a good point, but maybe GW feels that they are putting money into a horse that they are going to end up having to 'work on' more than they should, and spend most of his/her time schooling them in basic stuff over and over again? I actually relate to this in a way...

And as above, OP give sharers two days each, you get 2 days, and you all take turns each week on a 3 week rota to see to the horse on his day off.
 
Crikey, I think you're making your lives far more difficult than they need to be! Both of my horses have a sharer, paying differing amounts because one is a fully schooled safe as houses ride and the other a rather green young chestnut mare who can be tricky sometimes. I've got both on full livery so the care is always totally covered no matter what happens, and each sharer decides what days they want at the beginning of each week. I work from home at the moment so it doesn't matter to me which days I have so it's simplest to let them choose.

Personally I think with the costs you've quoted and the time issues involved it may just be simpler for all concerned to go onto full livery.
 
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