Nerves/Confidence. Any advice

[Adele77]

Hi all so my cob has thrown me off twice in 6 weeks in the arena. It’s not pain related, Shes spent most of her life (shes 11) just hacking so now she’s being asked to work she’s not happy!!
I’m more than happy to go back to just hacking but although my injuries from being ejected both times weren’t serious I’m really struggling to get the confidence to get back on. I rode in between flying lessons and once since the second one. Now we are no longer using the arena I only have weekends to hack but keep talking myself out of it - weathers bad, she’s not had much turnout how’s she going to be etc etc
Does anyone have any advice to sort myself out, I do want to get back on but my nerves are getting the better of me

 

[Equi]

Don’t. A horse that only hacked and now is bucking in arena I’m afraid does indicate pain or discomfort. Schooling is hard work for a horse and they have to relearn how to use their bodies. It’s a slow process.

 

[Adele77]

She spooked and bolted no bucking involved

 

[Adele77]

Also she has been checked and no issues found

 

[Barton Bounty]

You need to take deep breaths and compose yourself and take any negative thoughts out your head completely, if she senses it she will feed off it. Is there a particular thing she is spooking at? Is it in trot? Is there something that sets her off?
Singing helps keep calm and control your nerves. The longer you leave it though means the harder it will be to get started again. Get back on, take a deep breath and try and stick to a routine for a few weeks. Same thing every time in the same order ?

 

[Adele77]

You need to take deep breaths and compose yourself and take any negative thoughts out your head completely, if she senses it she will feed off it. Is there a particular thing she is spooking at? Is it in trot? Is there something that sets her off?
Singing helps keep calm and control your nerves. The longer you leave it though means the harder it will be to get started again. Get back on, take a deep breath and try and stick to a routine for a few weeks. Same thing every time in the same order ?

Thank you! I’m not quite sure what it is! The first time was a horrible wet and very windy day and the second We were in a lesson had just started to trot and she spooked at the far end by some trees there’s ponies in the field behind so could’ve been that! I sat the initial spook but was slightly off balance, she took off down the arena and I got flung off when she turned abruptly around some jumps!
She is an angel to hack there’s minimal things that bother her and I know this and tell myself all the time but just can’t shake it!

 

[Barton Bounty]

Thank you! I’m not quite sure what it is! The first time was a horrible wet and very windy day and the second We were in a lesson had just started to trot and she spooked at the far end by some trees there’s ponies in the field behind so could’ve been that! I sat the initial spook but was slightly off balance, she took off down the arena and I got flung off when she turned abruptly around some jumps!
She is an angel to hack there’s minimal things that bother her and I know this and tell myself all the time but just can’t shake it!

You will get there, go into the arena just in hand and do a bit of groundwork even? And then I would build up from 10 minute intervals them go a little hack and do the same routinely for a couple of weeks to get her confidence up, you will eventually turn a corner! Lots of praise and good girls and I am sure she will be back in no time

 

[canteron]

I understand where you are and if you want to keep your horse I think you need to get your / your horses confidence back on the ground in the arena before getting back on. There is the obvious long lining and lunging, but also lots of more interesting stuff you can do, huge amounts of inspiration on line, but Jenku and TRT are good starts (but may be some adapting if your cob is chunky, they have quite fine horses.) I also like David Lichman - try the boomerang!

When you are ready then after a ground session get on your horse and walk only once round the arena - with someone by your side if you can and build from there. You need positive experiences.

This horse riding thing is meant to be fun, by using it as a strong message you need to improve your ground skills, you will get to your ‘destination’ so much quicker !!

 

[Landcruiser]

Treat yourself to "Perfect Confidence" by Kelly Marks. There are all the tips you need in there

 

[throwawayaccount]

Get someone else to hack her and walk out on foot with them. Then the next time they walk and you ride

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Could your instructor come back and help you? If they were there for one of the spooks they might be able to help you with managing this and/or some tips for being more secure in the saddle.

I have recently started a new share and been building my confidence with him by having a person on foot with us when we hack, having a lesson for my first ride in the school with him (after the initial trial ride), and doing short sessions in the school on my own. If I am feeling a bit wobbly we go for an in-hand walk around the school then I get on. There's no pressure of a specific goal at the moment but I do avoid just going round the edge of the school too much as it gives me too much time to worry instead of focusing on riding.

Karl Greenwood's videos on YouTube and his book have been very helpful to me as well.

 

[Adele77]

You will get there, go into the arena just in hand and do a bit of groundwork even? And then I would build up from 10 minute intervals them go a little hack and do the same routinely for a couple of weeks to get her confidence up, you will eventually turn a corner! Lots of praise and good girls and I am sure she will be back in no time

I will try that thank you!

 

[Adele77]

I understand where you are and if you want to keep your horse I think you need to get your / your horses confidence back on the ground in the arena before getting back on. There is the obvious long lining and lunging, but also lots of more interesting stuff you can do, huge amounts of inspiration on line, but Jenku and TRT are good starts (but may be some adapting if your cob is chunky, they have quite fine horses.) I also like David Lichman - try the boomerang!

When you are ready then after a ground session get on your horse and walk only once round the arena - with someone by your side if you can and build from there. You need positive experiences.

This horse riding thing is meant to be fun, by using it as a strong message you need to improve your ground skills, you will get to your ‘destination’ so much quicker !!

I will have a look online thank you!
I’ve never struggled with my confidence and she’s so good hacking I’ve never needed to worry but it’s really affected me.
still, I have lots to look at and try so I’m sure we will back in no time!

 

[Barton Bounty]

I will have a look online thank you!
I’ve never struggled with my confidence and she’s so good hacking I’ve never needed to worry but it’s really affected me.
still, I have lots to look at and try so I’m sure we will back in no time!

I had the spookiest tb known to man, anything could set him off, bronking rearing, spinning, pirouettes moon walking all at the same time lol. We got over that! You will too with consistency ?

 

[smolmaus]

Thank you! I’m not quite sure what it is! The first time was a horrible wet and very windy day and the second We were in a lesson had just started to trot and she spooked at the far end by some trees there’s ponies in the field behind so could’ve been that! I sat the initial spook but was slightly off balance, she took off down the arena and I got flung off when she turned abruptly around some jumps!
She is an angel to hack there’s minimal things that bother her and I know this and tell myself all the time but just can’t shake it!

I'm somewhere similar with my mare atm, she is usually very solid but the windy weather, cold wind at that, leaves off the trees so she can see the road and a shetland in the field adjacent has had me sitting some unexpected teleportations too. If you're asking her to do something new on top it makes sense that she would just get overwhelmed. It is hard if they're normally fairly unflappable!

I start every session in the arena the last few weeks with a walk round in a headcollar and leadrope over the bridle, a treat or two when she stands calmly in the "scary" corner and then repeat the same pattern when I'm mounted. We mostly walk and rest at the "scary" end so she builds up as many positive associations as possible. Yes, I have a few people thinking I'm being ridiculous and saying "just make her behave" ? but this way keeps my confidence up too and I've seen a huge improvement. It isn't strictly "a method" but I do watch a lot of TRT and Miri Hackett, Warwick Schiller too and try to follow their ethos if not the exact methodology, would recommend any or all of them.

 

[Adele77]

Could your instructor come back and help you? If they were there for one of the spooks they might be able to help you with managing this and/or some tips for being more secure in the saddle.

I have recently started a new share and been building my confidence with him by having a person on foot with us when we hack, having a lesson for my first ride in the school with him (after the initial trial ride), and doing short sessions in the school on my own. If I am feeling a bit wobbly we go for an in-hand walk around the school then I get on. There's no pressure of a specific goal at the moment but I do avoid just going round the edge of the school too much as it gives me too much time to worry instead of focusing on riding.

Karl Greenwood's videos on YouTube and his book have been very helpful to me as well.

my instructor comes to our yard weekly so I’m going to have a chat with him tomorrow and go from there.
I have arranged for someone to walk with me the next time I hack, I think once I can get back into a routine and put all of these ideas into play we’ll get somewhere

 

[nagblagger]

There is a thread in the depth of this forum about the songs people sing when riding (to control nerves, reassure the horse etc) it will show you are not alone and we all have wobble moments.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Singing does help! I started off feeling really stupid , ten green bottles then worked my way up to celine dion… im kidding?? bb doesn’t like celine he likes country music ???

 

[ihatework]

There are two things going on here:

1) loss of confidence and how to regain it. In response to that I’m sure other people will have far better advice than me but confidence generally comes back from lots of positive experiences and no further set backs. There is lots that feed into this (see 2 below) but essentially you have to set the situation up to succeed. So for now stick to hacking. Go on routes you are comfortable with. Take a buddy if it helps etc.
From experience, I’m adamant that confidence issues stem from life experiences and they just filter into riding. If other things in your life are less than ideal try to work on those too

2) Horse management - limited turnout is inevitable in some areas of the UK amid a very wet winter. Often our hands are tied. However as an owner it is unacceptable to have a horse on limited turnout and not give them sufficient exercise. Address this and it will positively feed back into number 1. above. I’d suggest that while your confidence is fragile you get someone else to exercise your horse in days you can’t.

3) Do not assume your horse doesn’t have physical issues. 11 is a prime age to start seeing niggly wear and tear issues. These might not be apparent out hacking but when asked to work in a school, especially if surface is less than ideal then then these issues start to show up. Combine this with periods of confinement in stable then any mild arthritis symptoms can easily be exacerbated

 

[southerncomfort]

Karl Greenwood's book!! ? I know I'm always banging on about it, but he is genuinely very good.

 

[Adele77]

There are two things going on here:

1) loss of confidence and how to regain it. In response to that I’m sure other people will have far better advice than me but confidence generally comes back from lots of positive experiences and no further set backs. There is lots that feed into this (see 2 below) but essentially you have to set the situation up to succeed. So for now stick to hacking. Go on routes you are comfortable with. Take a buddy if it helps etc.
From experience, I’m adamant that confidence issues stem from life experiences and they just filter into riding. If other things in your life are less than ideal try to work on those too

2) Horse management - limited turnout is inevitable in some areas of the UK amid a very wet winter. Often our hands are tied. However as an owner it is unacceptable to have a horse on limited turnout and not give them sufficient exercise. Address this and it will positively feed back into number 1. above. I’d suggest that while your confidence is fragile you get someone else to exercise your horse in days you can’t.

3) Do not assume your horse doesn’t have physical issues. 11 is a prime age to start seeing niggly wear and tear issues. These might not be apparent out hacking but when asked to work in a school, especially if surface is less than ideal then then these issues start to show up. Combine this with periods of confinement in stable then any mild arthritis symptoms can easily be exacerbated

I’m not stupid I’m not going to keep her cooped up in a stable because she can’t go in the field, we have other options which are used in these circumstances. Also I’m not assuming there’s nothing wrong again I am not stupid. The first thing I did was get her checked as the last thing I want is her to be in pain.

 

[Peglo]

I agree doing some inhand sessions in the school would be good and get out hacking to get your confidence back up. Then if you’re still feeling unsure could you get someone else to ride her in the school? Seeing someone else riding her might make you want to get on yourself.

 

[Miss_Millie]

It is impossible to rule out pain I'm afraid.

 

[ihatework]

I’m not stupid I’m not going to keep her cooped up in a stable because she can’t go in the field, we have other options which are used in these circumstances. Also I’m not assuming there’s nothing wrong again I am not stupid. The first thing I did was get her checked as the last thing I want is her to be in pain.

Well excuse me for spending my weekend time to try and write out a considered response. Won’t bother again given you aren’t stupid.

 

[Cherryblossom]

I’m not stupid I’m not going to keep her cooped up in a stable because she can’t go in the field, we have other options which are used in these circumstances. Also I’m not assuming there’s nothing wrong again I am not stupid. The first thing I did was get her checked as the last thing I want is her to be in pain.

Given that you initially said you were talking yourself out of riding because ‘she hasn’t had much turnout today’ then I think it’s reasonable for people to assume that your turnout situation is challenging, as it is for a lot of us.
Can I ask who checked her out and what has been checked? Just a lot of people come to the forum and say they’ve had their horse checked, but what that actually means is they had the local ‘back guy’ or equivalent out. We may be able to help you more with more information.

 

[throwawayaccount]

I’m not stupid I’m not going to keep her cooped up in a stable because she can’t go in the field, we have other options which are used in these circumstances. Also I’m not assuming there’s nothing wrong again I am not stupid. The first thing I did was get her checked as the last thing I want is her to be in pain.

No one said you were stupid ?‍

also, FWIW, second opinions are always great to have… a few forum members here suggested to do so, for my mare (a few years ago). Turned out the vet practice I thought so highly of, was actually more money orientated and draining insurance rather than being honest and saying- your mare will never be what you bought her to be.
so just some food for thought really ?‍

 

[Skib]

I was taught there is a big difference between hacking and school work. For years I hacked a beloved horse who was for physcal reasons not allowed to go in the school. But she carried me mile after mile on a loose rein out hacking. No collection and no bend.
And I was told that when a horse was introduced to collection, that was the equivalent of a human gong to the gymn and one should ask for only two steps walk the first time and then day after day build it up from there.

 

[Annagain]

I’m not stupid I’m not going to keep her cooped up in a stable because she can’t go in the field, we have other options which are used in these circumstances. Also I’m not assuming there’s nothing wrong again I am not stupid. The first thing I did was get her checked as the last thing I want is her to be in pain.

When you've been here a bit longer, Adele, you'll realise that Ihatework is one of the most knowledgeable and sensible people on here. Her advice is always spot on and given with the very best of intentions. Nothing she said implied you were stupid, none of it was patronising and it was all based on what you said. "She's not had much turnout" might very well mean something different to you than it does to IHW but unless you explain that she has been exercised in some other way, none of us can know that. The same applies to "she has been checked and no issues found". What does "checked" mean? Full work up at a vet clinic to include teeth, eyes, ulcers, nerve blocks, x-rays? Danilon trial? A body worker to give her the once over? A saddle check? People have very different ideas of what a check is so for us to have the full picture it might be worth listing what those checks are. Also, just because you haven't found the issue yet doesn't mean there isn't one.

I lost my confidence with my previous horse. He just became anxious. He never did anything wrong and I never fell off him (except one silly jumping fall that was entirely my fault) but he wasn't happy and I couldn't trust him. I thought it was my fault and he was feeding off me. IHW was one of the ones who gently pushed me to check everything out. He had kissing spine. Long story short, he was treated and rehabbed, then I sold him (with full disclosure) and we're both much happier now.

You can get your confidence back with your mare - you've had lots of good advice, to which I'd add, go hacking with a trusted friend on a calm horse who is happy to go at your speed - but it sounds like you want to do lessons and work in the school so you either need to work out why she doesn't want to do it and address it or accept you and she want different things and move on.