Nerves!!!

[Bonni73]

Hi all, this is the first time I have ever used a forum so please bear with me if I gabble but I thought I would give it a go . My main problem is nerves and wondered if anyone had any good ideas. I came back into riding after a 20 year break 6 years ago and have had my boy for 4 now. He is the most honest horse in the world and for the first 2 years put up with everything. I have regular lessons, hack out, school and have even done some low level endurance rides but the issue I can't seem to get over is if for any reason I have a break it takes me a while to get my nerves back. Prime example now, we are just over an abscess and he is sound and raring to go. I go for a little plod to make sure all is well and understandably he is feeling mighty fine, does a whoop whoop we are out and I tense up. He then finds everything he can to spook at because hey what's mummy scared of. That doesn't help the washing machine in my stomach. I know I will get over it but it's frustrating that I do it in the first place and I am ten steps back again. I am such a what if person too, I come back from a ride all grins but then think before I get on again, well what if he does this or does that. It's so silly because he has done nothing I can't handle. Any tips? or at least please tell me I am not the only neurotic one out there?

 

[lhotse]

Sing your favourite songs out loud, you have to breath to sing, and when you get tense, you hold your breath and your horse will sense this. It works, honestly. Even if you can't sing, like me!!

 

[Dancingaye]

^ i've done this lol. I have a 14 y/o tb that i've had since he was 3, has always been a very difficult horse to ride , very spooky at times. In order to hack out, we had to ride past cows (horrifying, horse eating cows!!!) and I would get nervous and so would he. My friend would make me sing twinkle twinkle, make me laugh and we would both relax. Sounds ridiculous, but it's amazing how when you relax, your horse often will too. Good luck!!

 

[Bonni73]

Thank you. The ipod will go on tonight to get some songs in my head and we'll give it a go tomorrow. Hopefully he and anyone else around will like my howling

 

[lhotse]

Mine gets The Levellers belted out to her everyday, good tunes and I know all the words to pretty much all the songs!

 

[Echo Bravo]

Get your other half a horse and go riding togetherNo seriously if you have the butterflies which is perfectly normal as we all get them at sometime or other, see if someone will ride out or walk with you for the first/second ride just make them short and then let start riding out as you use too.

 

[jenn44uk]

Totally agree with the singing bit. If you hold your breath you just sit so tense. Unfortunately for people in my vicitiny when I get nervous out riding, I tend to start singing operatic style, just going la la la la. I can't actually sing in tune but it gets my breath out of my nody.

Or if you know there's something up ahead that you're likely to be nervous at so the horse will spoke at I tend to talk to him as well, and then sing what I'm saying. (So singing, 'there's a good boy, nothing scary ahead la la la').

Yeah, I don't tend to keep hacking partners.

Jen

 

[Redwood1985]

When I fell off of my pony, I moved onto an older and larger 'bombproof' horse. He never put a foot wrong, but I was terrified to even lead him through the paddock! Some my friends would tell me to sing, and this calmed me down. I also completely stopped worrying and focused on something that was straight ahead of me. I would be talking to my horse at the same time, but I would always make sure that I was concentrating on the thing straight in front of me
Hope this helps

 

[combat_claire]

I got edgy before going hunting and used to wind the horse up, which got us into a vicious circle. I take a few drops of Forest Farmacy herbal drops, which seemed to work the last time* as didn't feel at all sick and nervy at the meet!

* May also be attributed to glass of port before mounting...

http://www.forestfarmacy.com/Riders.html

 

[squidsin]

I know the feeling! Me and my mare are both twitchy as ferrets at the moment. I am worried because she seems nervous and it's a vicious cycle. Doesn't help that I fell off her when she spooked out hacking on Sat (and sprained my thumb- could have been a lot worse.) Just had a lesson and we were fine, although still both twitchy. Don't know what to do to calm us down! Sigh!

 

[Archiepoo]

if i feel the nerves building i take a huge breath in and then a huge sigh to let it all out.-you cant do this without relaxing and your horse will feel it and relax too. this REALLY works!!!

 

[MissJessica]

Hi all, this is the first time I have ever used a forum so please bear with me if I gabble but I thought I would give it a go . My main problem is nerves and wondered if anyone had any good ideas. I came back into riding after a 20 year break 6 years ago and have had my boy for 4 now. He is the most honest horse in the world and for the first 2 years put up with everything. I have regular lessons, hack out, school and have even done some low level endurance rides but the issue I can't seem to get over is if for any reason I have a break it takes me a while to get my nerves back. Prime example now, we are just over an abscess and he is sound and raring to go. I go for a little plod to make sure all is well and understandably he is feeling mighty fine, does a whoop whoop we are out and I tense up. He then finds everything he can to spook at because hey what's mummy scared of. That doesn't help the washing machine in my stomach. I know I will get over it but it's frustrating that I do it in the first place and I am ten steps back again. I am such a what if person too, I come back from a ride all grins but then think before I get on again, well what if he does this or does that. It's so silly because he has done nothing I can't handle. Any tips? or at least please tell me I am not the only neurotic one out there?

I am exactly as you've described. Thanks for the post, I'm looking forward to reading the responses.
Interesting how you say I can handle anything he has done so far....people always tell me this for reassurance and I think "when will he do something I can't handle then, or what if I'd been in a different mood?"
I remember once I was about the ride out someone else's horse when the hunt went by and my horse was a little excited but behaved and I had a panic attack. I will never forget that.
I am a nervous, cautious person in all aspects of life, are you or is it just riding?

 

[squidsin]

I am exactly as you've described. Thanks for the post, I'm looking forward to reading the responses.
Interesting how you say I can handle anything he has done so far....people always tell me this for reassurance and I think "when will he do something I can't handle then, or what if I'd been in a different mood?"
I remember once I was about the ride out someone else's horse when the hunt went by and my horse was a little excited but behaved and I had a panic attack. I will never forget that.
I am a nervous, cautious person in all aspects of life, are you or is it just riding?

Speaking for myself, I'm not nervous or cautious at all usually - more gung ho than anything else, probably - but I still get all the 'what ifs.' Mind you I fell off my horse when she spooked on Saturday. This has not done wonders for my confidence! I've fallen off 4 times in 6 months though so maybe I should just get over it!

 

[NaeNae87]

I use rescue remedy on both myself and my horses.
A squirt under the tongue for me and a squirt on the inside of thier lower lip for them.

It helps take the edge off the nervousness and brings it back to a more manageable level.

I also talk to my horses. It forces me to talk in a relaxed voice, fooling my brain/body into thinking I am more relaxed than I am in reality - which in turn makes me calm down as I am so focused on a calming voice.

 

[Taffieboy1]

They say that NLP is really good for getting you over hacking out nerves too.

 

[Bonni73]

Thanks for the singing advice. I took the boy into the school to start with because he's a plod in there and then we went for a wonder up the track attached to the farm. I felt myself tense and couldn't think of a thing to sing so just sang what said, if that makes sense (this is fun, we're ok la la type of thing) bonkers I know. He was better though.
MissJessica - I agree with you in that people have told me that and yes I do still wonder if there is more to come ha ha. I guess I am a little nervy in normal life too, worry about things I have no control over. Goodness, should be riding at all?

Have wondered about rescue remedy actually so may try that too.

Thank you all and nice to know I am not the only one out there

 

[MissJessica]

Thanks for the singing advice. I took the boy into the school to start with because he's a plod in there and then we went for a wonder up the track attached to the farm. I felt myself tense and couldn't think of a thing to sing so just sang what said, if that makes sense (this is fun, we're ok la la type of thing) bonkers I know. He was better though.
MissJessica - I agree with you in that people have told me that and yes I do still wonder if there is more to come ha ha. I guess I am a little nervy in normal life too, worry about things I have no control over. Goodness, should be riding at all?

Have wondered about rescue remedy actually so may try that too.

Thank you all and nice to know I am not the only one out there

You're not alone Bonni73 & I do this singing thing too, yesterday it was..."we've just seen a bunny 1 mile away therefore we're not going to freak out when it runs out in 5 minutes when we're closer" haha!

 

[RCB8]

Rescue Remedy works for me as does singing, sighing. not looking directly at the scary thing and either overly praising him 'Oh what a good boy' or laughing at the scary thing (ranges from a leaf to a lorry) and saying 'You're not scared of that!'. This is all acting though - inside I still churn a little and horrible scenarios creep into my head constantly, but I'm getting more convincing in my acting. Also I get quite indignant about it 'I will ride around the block on my own and you will be a good boy because I work damn hard all week mucking you out so let's go!' Do try the sighing - the funny thing is my boy usually mimicks me! Either that or he rolls his eyes and thinks 'She's singing/sighing/overly chatty again the weirdo - what did I do to get a mom as mad as her?!' He's such a lucky boy!

 

[Cortez]

You could just lunge him before you get on: takes the edge off the horse, helps create some rapport and gives you something to work with.

 

[madmav]

Sing 'If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands' etc. You can keep that daft song going forever! And do it loud and proud.
Also, useful tip from when I was having panic attacks driving: Think of a big, tricky number, say 2,095, and then keep taking away another 'difficult' number, maybe 13, down and down. It distracts brain from focusing on whatever is stressing you. Has got me over many tricky bridges and scary roads - they were in my mind, anyway.
Best of luck.

 

[bartontara]

Sing your favourite songs out loud, you have to breath to sing, and when you get tense, you hold your breath and your horse will sense this. QUOTE]
This is 100% true! I often find myself singing 'Twinkle twinkle little star' when my horse is spooking at some cement mixer...another thing, if you find yourself holding your breath or breathing fast or whatever; imagine a candle in front of you and take nice deep breaths to make the candle flicker but not extinguish it! (may sound stupid) but honestly works! Good Luck

 

[bartontara]

Oh and if they spook, remember to relax straight after otherwise they will sense it and think "Whats wrong mum, should I get scared too?"

 

[missy99]

i'm exactly the same as you! i get very nervous sometimes and my horse just senses it. luckily shes quite the bombproof type so shes usually okay, but i always stroke her neck and sing a song or even tell her a story or what i did that weekend as weird as it sounds! also a great thing to do as my riding instructor tells me (shes a great british proffessional judge) is constantly massage your reins or tap your ring finger like a piano key on your reins, constantly creating little tugs and movements on the reins. it helps your horse remember you're there and almsot comforts them. it seems a bit weird and hard to understand but it definitely helps me!

 

[Hartley Mare]

Another vote for Rescue Remedy from me, hadn't bought it for years but got some after having some problems with my new girl, it really works!!!
Never thought of giving it to my horse too tho'.....
Also find a supprotive hacking partner if you can, if your horse has a friend they can ride out with it's amazing what they'll tackle together, especially if you can find someone with quite a brave horse. !!!!