Nervous before riding?

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MrStevo

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Hi just to canvas opinion - does anyone else get nervous when they never used to?

I lost my mare and best friend ever a couple of months ago, id had her 13 years backed her etc and never ever felt nervous riding her (except the usual show/xc nerves) im now riding my oldest yougster - have to ride him every day and im finding my self constantly worried about it, ive only come off him twice and he isnt nasty just young and naughty sometimes but i cant believe how queezy i feel even when he is behaving - any suggestions?
 

I no exactly how you feel. Ive been through exactly the same as you. I lost my best friend in an horrific accident nearly 3 years back and Id had him 7 years. I never ever got nervous riding him and would do and jumping anything/everything. But now with Arch, Ive had him two years I still get very nervous. I bought him as a 4 year old and had have few bad falls, but some times I feel sick just at the thought of riding! Im enjoying him more now, but its taken a long time and alot of tears. If you ever just want a chat, please feel free to PM me.
 
When my TB (Jack) had to be retired (or so I thought!) I bought a young welsh cob X. I hadn't really ridden anything but Jack for the previous 7 years so it was a big shock to the system. A year on and I am still struggling to relax on her when I'd be fine on Jack. I have regular lessons and work and work at the bond between us. I think it just takes time (and the fact that my instructor has learned a new trick of making me talk about something to distract me whenever I tense up!). I think the biggest thing that has helped with Rosie is going and doing things that I never did with Jack so I can't constantly go 'I did this better when I was on Jack'. It means we have special moments that are just about me and her.
 
I'm the same, put it off for hours, make the horse nervous because I'm tense. I think my last horse did this to me, but funnily enough you know what else did it to me? It was a skiing accident which dislocated my shoulder and hurt a lot, which made me feel afraid of falling off and so tense with the horse. So it doesn't have to be horse hurts to make it happen i suppose...

This one has made me tense because she chucked my daughter off and then kicked her in the head and I keep feeling she is on probation!
 
Yep. I used to have the most fantastic cob on loan and I felt so safe and comfortable on him. We could do absolutely anything together and I knew he'd look after me! We had a really good bond and I always felt so confident riding him. Unfortunately he died at christmas (he was only 10
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) and I bought my new guy in June. He's a youngish Thoroughbred and although I love him to bits and know he'd never do anything to hurt me we haven't built up as much of a bond and he can be a little unpredictable at times. When riding him, especially out on hacks I often feel really nervous for no apparant reason.
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I'm hoping that as we gain more of a bond together we'll both feel more confident and these feelings will fade. Sometimes it's quite disheartening though when I think of how fantastic I used to feel racing about on my old guy without a care in the world!
 
I do not have any suggestions other than just to keep doing it. I assume you will eventually learn to trust and bond with this horse just as you did with the other.

It all takes time on both ends. Trust is earned

We are usually more fearless when we are younger though it seems and I know mortality can set in quickly when you are older.

I have to admit that I am far more nervous on horseback than I was in my youth. I would have jumped on ANYTHING bareback (and did) with a halter and rope!

wouldn't do that so easilly now
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Yes although I love my horse to bits and know he is right for me I have been through similar nervous phases in the past with him. He has not been the easiest horse in the world and can be a bit daft in the head even now! It took a long time for us to bond and me accept and get fully used to how he is...probably 2 years really!
We are fine now though and have been for years so that is good, but it can be hard at times especially with something with character or a bit spooky.
 
Just read your post below! (re bucks)

No wonder you have nerves!
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It is the horse being fresh and young and testing you , not your confidence imo. Once the bucking stops and he gets a bit more settled being ridden I am sure you will feel back to normal and less nervous
 
It's natural to get more inclined to be cautious as the years go by and that can translate into nervousness/anxiety, especially in a potentially unsafe situation. The ground gets a bit harder, body doesn't heal as well, and there are far more reasons one HAS to be able to get up the next day. After all, fear is what keeps us safe and people who say they NEVER feel fear are either unaware of their situation, lacking in imagination or lying to themselves.

I've worked a lot with people (and horses and combinations thereof) that have good reason to be nervous - people coming back from serious injuries, people who have unknowingly got into situations (or on horses) they can't control, people who have had one too many close calls and whose quite reasonable self-protection systems are in overdrive - and it has been my experience the solution comes with honest assessment and education.

I've also ridden my fair share of dangerous horses and actually LIKE working with "problems". But that doesn't mean I'm not careful and concerned when I think my safety is in jeopardy. I'm no use to anyone hurt. And it has been my experience that most of the times when that happens I've missed something/been careless/made a bad decision. It's the done thing in riding to say one never gets nervous but I know a few people who jump big jumps and ride fast horses for a living and I can tell you the DO get nervous, they just think about it and deal with it differently. And they have faith in their skills. They do dangerous things because they enjoy mastering the situation, not just on a whim.

Why is it "wrong" to be anxious about something that can get you killed? Sounds like good sense to me. And people DO get hurt coming off every day of the week - if you're coming off regularly and haven't been, sorry but odds are you've just been lucky. So the situation is not as it should be and your reaction is perfectly understandable. The trick is managing both the situation and your reaction.

No offence, but you say yourself you should have longed the horse that bucked you off. Of course - a young, strapping horse with a few days off under its belt, going out in a field. Frankly I'd be surprised if it didn't do something untoward. Which, by the way, isn't good for the horse either. No young horse should be bucking until it has someone off (or bucking at all undersaddle but maybe that's just me). So you manage the situation for BOTH your sakes.

I'm a firm believer in getting the assitance of someone who can speed the process along (personally I find it cheaper to learn from other people's mistakes) but I realise that's an unwelcome thought for some. To each their own. Then you have to do the thinking and the learning on your own time.

And I'm sure this doesn't apply in this case but sometimes the question is not "how do I do this?" but "should I do this?" There's nothing wrong with making smart decisions, especially if you lack the time/skill/resources to do things differently at the moment.

Once decided to continue, then you have to manage your reactions. This can be highly individual and there are hundreds of helpful books on the subject. There is no shame in getting help from someone who knows more about it.
 
I used to feel sick when I had to get on my pony, she's 11 now & I got her when she was 4. She gave me a pretty hard time, & I really lost my confidence, loads of people told me to give up, but somewhere inside I knew it would be ok one day. Sometimes I still have a bit of a wobble, I've had a few nasty falls off her, & broke my ankle really badly when I fell off in April, this was just one of those unlucky moments rather than her being a horror. I've great dressage & show jumping trainers who've helped me back on track, plus had some TFT with Jo Cooper. The point of this rambling post is that I'm so bl***y glad I stuck with it, she's definately a keeper & I'm enjoying her immensely, even though it took 7 years, all those tears were worth it.
 
God, know how you feel! Had a accident 2 years ago that still haunts me....3 horses later have found one that really does look after me, but when I'm stood on the mounting block, I still feel sick - particularly if he starts to walk away!

This is my last chance, if this doesn't work, going to hang up my boots, so am really giving it a good shot!

Think it's my age!!!
 
Hope you feel better knowing you are not alone with this! Sorry I can't offer a magic solution, but hopefully it will get better if you persevere. Best of luck - I think you're really brave riding a youngster that bucks!
 
Know how you feel - same happened to me when I lost my old fella over 2 years ago. Apparantly its very common when you lose a trusted horse. I bought a new horse about 14 months ago and it took a while but I'm finally getting there and have a bond of trust wth my new boy. I did an awful lot of 'comparing' which to be honest wasn't really helpful and only when i accepted that my new boy had his own personality did we start to turn the corner. I also sought help with TFT (jo cooper - very good) and bach flower remedies (white chestnut is great to stop the mind worrying about future events like going to the dentist/going for a ride). The best of all though was an excellent instrutor - PM me if you want details of instructor (also in northumberland) - good luck - you will get there and it will be the best thing when you do.
 
I had a much loved mare whom I trusted completely. I would even canter on her with no reins or stirrups. When I had to say goodbye to her I bought a gelding but I never did form the same bond with him and I eventually sold him because I realised that he wasn't right for me. I have now bought a beautiful Highland mare and the bond between us was instant. I think that you will be able to regain your trust and enjoy your riding without worrying again but maybe you haven't got the right horse yet? Have you got the option of getting another?
 
I know how you feel, I used to be able to get on anything and do anything, and as far as I was concerned injuries and broken bones meant time off school, so weren't considered an evil like they are now I have responsibilities. I had a nasty and completely unexpected accident about 4 years ago, and it absolutely terrified me, even tho I made someone put me back on the horse straight after in a hope I'd save some confidence, I couldn't bring myself to get on again after, and that terror remained for 3 years! Suddenly decided I wanted to ride again, so I did, and although I was very nervous I've gradually built it up and can do more than I ever expected. You just have to understand that nerves are a natural thing, and just take it one little step at a time. From the sound of your other post, you have every right to have those self preservation anxieties kicking in, I'd certainly be more than a little nervous!
 
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