Nervous of doing fun rides - how do I overcome this??

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Esme2015

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Hi all!

So, please bear with me while I try to tell the story as quick as possible! I'm a late learner to riding, started in 2008, bought my mare in 2009 as a 40th pressie to myself and till a fateful day two years ago, she literally hadn't put a foot wrong. We'd learnt to jump together, we'd done lots of local shows and just enjoyed life. However, I had never taken her on a fun ride, due to the fact that she can be very funny about horses coming up behind her in the practice ring at shows or in a less controlled environment than say a school or show ring. She'll start to rodeo. I would absolutely love to take her on a fun ride but I am sooo nervous of doing so. What can I do? It's not her I'm worried about, it's the horses behind. She can also be strong on the moors but that doesn't bother me too much I guess. I'm a nervous rider anyway and to compound my fear, we had a serious accident three years ago which resulted in me being airlifted with a broken pelvis and ribs, she reared and fell backwards and completely freaked herself out, unfortunately I was still on her at the time! She actually had bone spavins and massive hormonal issues, and was telling me for weeks something was wrong but I listened to everyone else who said she was being naughty (she wasn't). Anyway she's been back in work a year and we are starting to jump again, gallop on the moors occasionally and I am slowly getting my confidence back. But how can I overcome my fear that she will rodeo me off on a busy fun ride? I have to be honest, I don't even think it's irrational because I know what she's like in an uncontrolled environment and she has got me off before. Do I just accept the fact that she might be a nightmare and not bother?? Has anyone else had this experience? I know I've still got the thought of her rearing in my head too. She's such an angel, she could be described as a schoolmistress definitely but she just doesn't like horses coming up behind her (she will also kick).

Sorry for the long post. I was invited to a fun ride today and I turned it down for the reasons above :-( but I have always wanted to do one!!
 
Hi. First well done for slowly finding your confidence again after your accident.

I'd suggest ringing the organisers of your chosen fun ride and finding out when is likely to the quietest time, maybe right towards the end when most others have been and gone? If the ride has options for longer or shorter routes, so much the better - start with a short route first time out. Find a steady companion to go with you for confidence (for you both!). Put red and green ribbons in her tail to warn others. And don't be afraid to call back to riders approaching from behind, to ask them to give you plenty of space.

Good luck!
 
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Well done on conquering your issues - that's a real achievement.

If you can find a smaller ride and have a steady escort who can block you in if horses come past, I'm sure you'd be fine.

Some of our EGB rides are very small, intimate affairs as the parking just won't allow 100s of entrants. It gets them used to being out and about without overfacing them. People are generally pretty polite about asking to pass, too. So maybe look for something like that?
 
Really, the only way for you to overcome your nerves and for your horse to gain experience is to give it a go :)

As the others have said, I'd find a low key one or go along near the end to avoid too many others behind.

Another option could be to ask a more confident rider to take her to her first one. Do you have a trusted friend who could ride her for you? I only suggest this because if you are very nervous/worried about how she will behave, she may well pick up on this and become worried herself, which may exacerbate the issue. If there's another calm, experienced horse you could borrow for the day, then all the better. It could really help your confidence in her if you can see her (hopefully) behaving. Then, you could swap onto your mare if she's behaving well.

Well done for overcoming your nerves after your frightening fall. I hope you manage to get out to a fun ride and have a great time :)
 
Do you think trying to over come this is wise? The facts appear to be your horse is not good in company, has already had a serious accident with you and you are not confident anyway. At this stage I would say a fun ride could finish you off for life! Perhaps set your sights lower and safer until your confidence has grown. You are nervous for good reason. You won't make yourself more confident by terrorising the life out of yourself.
 
FfionWinnie said:
Do you think trying to over come this is wise? The facts appear to be your horse is not good in company, has already had a serious accident with you and you are not confident anyway. At this stage I would say a fun ride could finish you off for life! Perhaps set your sights lower and safer until your confidence has grown. You are nervous for good reason. You won't make yourself more confident by terrorising the life out of yourself.
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My thoughts exactly, having been on a few riding well mannered horses that have not reacted to being overtaken they are still not a relaxing experience, however hard you try there will always be someone who ignores your request to stay behind or cannot stop their own ill mannered mount and charges past you, 2 of my liveries went out on one last year on their ex racehorses both were amazed at how many people couldn't remain in control once cantering on grass both of their horses were far better behaved than many of the others.
Not everyone is out of control or wanting to gallop everywhere but with your lack of confidence and your mares known behaviour I would honestly say give it a miss and find other ways of having fun where you are at less risk.

The idea of getting a more confident rider to take her out may help if they are capable of dealing with any tantrums and can spend the whole ride schooling her so she does start to accept other horses behind her, it may be too late but it would be worth spending a few months really working on the issue she has it should be possible with time, patience and the right help to get her much improved so she can learn to cope and not panic in such a major way.
 
If you want to go then I would do some work beforehand. For instance, have a hacking buddy and practice swapping places, at first at walk, but eventually at trot and canter too. You may have to hire a XC course to have the space to practice being overtaken at canter, not necessarily to jump, but just so you have the facilities.

You could start with being near each other, and school, getting further apart, overtaking, coming head on etc. Once you are OK with one buddy then try a group lesson, if you contact your local riding club they will probably have a XC clinic. There would be no need to jump if you discuss your aims beforehand, but to practice working around other horses who are cantering behind you, it would be worth it.

Once you feel confident in a field area (which is easier as if your horse is too frisky you can circle) then I would have a buddy, as Esther says, and go on a small ride, near the back.
 
Is it possible for you to hack out or ride in a school with a reliable companion and practise passing each other. You can do this with one standing still and then in walk before going any faster. Don't forget to alternate left and right sides. My friend and I do this with all our new horses. We have found that some have a personal zone around them and don't like other horses encroaching on it. Later you can ride towards each other and pass. With patience it can be done.
On a fun ride which I'm sure you will do one day, remember to shout politely at those coming up behind you to warn them to keep clear. Other riders may be novices themselves or on babies and everyone wants to enjoy themselves without problems. Good Luck.
 
I would definitely second choosing a fun ride organised by one of the Endurance bodies.

My boy developed a habit of bucking if he was at the back of a ride of more than 2 horses. It didn't matter what the situation or how calm or where we were if the ride got slightly strung out he would buck.

I took him to a Sport Endurance ride last autumn and every single person asked well in advance if it was ok to pass and all did so in walk unless we said they were OK to trot. Everyone was so polite and friendly, it really was a brilliant day out and no bucking!

We set out a little later which may have helped mean there were less people about too.

You can put a green ribbon in their tail too to let people know it's your first time.
 
I don't find fun rides particularly fun, OP. Too many riders go just for a blast around whatever route it is. The last one I did was 2005 and my sane and bombproof Exmoor was like a steam train. If you really want to do them, I would find one where you're able to enter on the day or a quiet one, then take her with the aim of either completing the ride or not. Take the pressure off. My mare has had nothing like the problems you've had, though and I'm inclined to agree with those who ask if you really want to do this! At the very least I'd start by taking a friend to new areas and hacking a pre - mapped route, to see how she is.
 
be positive said:
Not everyone is out of control or wanting to gallop everywhere but with your lack of confidence and your mares known behaviour I would honestly say give it a miss and find other ways of having fun where you are at less risk.
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Agree with this and FW earlier.

Many fun rides are manic affairs, with out of control horses and clueless riders.

I had a young horse who was great on the fun rides during his first season of them, but became very upset subsequently due to a poor choice of companions on my part on one ride, which razzed him up for all later ones. After this, I used to make sure that I was last to go so no one came rocketing up behind, and he was fine. However, this is only fair to the organisers and stewards if you are prepared to go round at a decent pace, as they will all be waiting for the last horses to go round before they can stand down. No ambling round at a snails pace!

However, honestly, given your history, I'd give the fun rides a miss.
 
Have you got farm rides near you which are open every day or at least most weekends? I always start horses off at these as you tend to get passed a couple of times with plenty of room to circle back and forth and do whatever you need to do to make it stress free. I find them the best step from hacking to one-off pleasure rides. Then ask for help finding a good EGB (or possibly Sport Endurance?) ride ideally held mainly on lanes and trails, without a competition on the same day. No one races arounds on pleasure rides that are virtually all on firm surfaces.

You perhaps already know this, but with the bucking, the best way to avoid horses losing the plot whilst following is to let them go on a bit. Never try to insist on walking or stopping because they're getting excited, let them go forward just checking the speed and hopefully the over-taker will get a move on and soon clear off out of sight.

Also don't go alone until you really have the measure of your horse, it is much more stressful for them being passed and "left behind" when on their own.
 
I also agree with taking a look at the EGB website and maybe email them asking for a training or pleasure ride. You can also ask the organiser to give you a time at the end so there won't be many people coming behind you. I am helping at a pleasure ride tomorrow and we have 45 entrants and have organised it so there are some breaks in times so people who are a bit nervous can have more space behind them.

When I take my youngster out to his first fun ride, I will be choosing a quiet EGB pleasure ride. You will find people on EGB rides are in control and will ask if they can pass you.

I would also go with a very sensible escort horse who your horse is confident with.

I would avoid 'fun' rides like the plague. I do love them myself, but you do get some nutters and people who can't control their horses.
 
Remi'sMum said:
Hi. First well done for slowly finding your confidence again after your accident.

I'd suggest ringing the organisers of your chosen fun ride and finding out when is likely to the quietest time, maybe right towards the end when most others have been and gone? If the ride has options for longer or shorter routes, so much the better - start with a short route first time out. Find a steady companion to go with you for confidence (for you both!). Put red and green ribbons in her tail to warn others. And don't be afraid to call back to riders approaching from behind, to ask them to give you plenty of space.

Good luck!
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Thank you, that's a great idea about ringing the ride organisers. The lady who asked me yesterday is an instructor and very knowledgeable so I almost felt I should have said yes, but I started feeling worried immediately she mentioned it! I am the type to have a panic about something, then actually do it and love it. I'll have a chat with her and see if she's up for going late on. I so want to do one, I think I need a good shot of brandy before we go perhaps haha!!
 
Clare85 said:
Really, the only way for you to overcome your nerves and for your horse to gain experience is to give it a go :)

As the others have said, I'd find a low key one or go along near the end to avoid too many others behind.

Another option could be to ask a more confident rider to take her to her first one. Do you have a trusted friend who could ride her for you? I only suggest this because if you are very nervous/worried about how she will behave, she may well pick up on this and become worried herself, which may exacerbate the issue. If there's another calm, experienced horse you could borrow for the day, then all the better. It could really help your confidence in her if you can see her (hopefully) behaving. Then, you could swap onto your mare if she's behaving well.

Well done for overcoming your nerves after your frightening fall. I hope you manage to get out to a fun ride and have a great time :)
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Thank you!! Interestingly I had asked a young confident rider to take her, but we don't have transport so it's the case of getting her there which I am still working on. I don't really know anyone with a calmer horse than mine (apart from horses coming up behind her!) so I would be happy just to see how she does with my young friend.

Everyone's right about me exacerbating the issue by being nervous, again this is what I'm worried about.

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone for replying, thats a brilliant idea about practicing with other horses. I think I will speak to a few people about doing so and work on that this year.

Hmm I like the idea of the Endurance organised rides though. I will have a look at that.

There is a massive fun ride locally to me where everyone literally hoons round like a cavalry charge and I know of normally calm horses who've turned into complete exploding bombs so I shall definitely avoid that one!!

Sorry I can't reply to everyone's posts individually. I think practicing on the moors with another horse would be good (in the school or showring, we don't have a problem) and then I will decide whether it's worth the fear!! And definitely look at the Endurance fun rides. Some great tips and after now reading all your posts, I'm kind of in two minds really!! Perhaps we just continue with our hacks, SJ etc? I can't help but feel like I'm missing out though but is it worth me potentially having a complete stress and losing my confidence again? Hmm...food for thought.
 
I would practice going out with a couple of other horses (preferably the ones you will do the fun ride with) put yours in the middle or front so you both get used to someone cantering behind you. Once you are 110% doing this then go to a fun ride and !maybe try to be last horse out. Choose a small fun ride, the big ones (and lots of the smaller ones) can be manic.
 
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