New horse and bursting and tears

Sarah Sum1

Sarah Sum1

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I got my new horse today, Billy, he is lovely. He travelled well, he settled in and munched through his hay and i even caught him having a little lay down. I turned him out in the afternoon (individual grazing) the two horses next door were very excited to meet him, Billy just grazed and had a little sniff of them. All very chilled, until i bought him in
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he was fine walking back to stable, but he then proceeded to barge me out the way, bite my daughter, and was pacing round franticly and bashing into the stable door. I was scared and i my daughter even more so. I had to ask someone for help as what to do, a lovely man helped me out and spent time calming him down with carrots and even though Billy tried to bite him
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he was so calm and confident. The complete opposite to me
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I burst into tears when i asked for help and felt so incompetent. It's been over 15 years sincei have owned a horse and just panicked when he started getting stressy and i think it mad it 10 x worse. I am hoping he will settle and that he just didn't want to leave his new friends. I was actually scared of him and don't really know what to do from here as am worried about things. I know they pick up on our moods but i am zero confidence now
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sorry for going on, just needed some advice or vibes or anything really.
 

Ok - deep breath.

He is in a new place, is unsettled & tense.
You are also as you don't know or trust him yet.

take it slowly, give it time - let him know where the boundaries are, but don't give yourself too hard a time.

He will settle in in time, I am sure.
 
don't let him get away with it they soon learn if they can walk all over u they will! take him in for 10 Min's aday stable him and leave him then turn him out, he will soon learn that he gets back to his friends eventually, be firm and use a tone that is firm my boy was like this (without biting) and now i can tie him up on yard alone and hes fine

it does get better
 
*hugs* *big cup of tea*

oh you poor love.

Please dont beat yourself up abotu this - some horses take more time to settle in than others - so his behaviour may be a little strange for the first few weeks! Hes probably feeling just as out of his depth as you - new stables, new horses, new owner! Its GOOD that you have asked for help - much better than trying to struggle on your own and possibly having an accident!

If hes barging you its probable because he doesnt respect you as his owner yet - you need to make youself SEEM confident - even if tyou dont feel it inside - use your body language to tell him that barging TOTALLY isnt on. Also biting must NEVER be rewarded with carrots!

i hope some of this helps.

xxx
 
I am not the most confident of people and think he may have sensed my slight nervousness of him. I have neverhad a horse that reacted like this and it really freaked me out. Thanks guys for the reasurance.
 
hes probably just realised hes not going home perhaps - all horses react differently to certain situations! i really wouldnt worry too much, as said above just take things slow.
 
That was such a nice thought though, thanks so much. I think also that he lived out before and not used to being in a stable much.
 
if he was settled in field, sounds like this is how he is used to living. not all horeses like being stabled (it is a human thing) but he will learn to like his stable if he is fed in there and then turned out, leaving in a little longer each day. do ask for help and then it wont all go pear shaped! and dont feed any rocket fuel just chaff and carrots til you get settled!try to be confident and make him behave! they are like children really give them an inch and they will take a mile! you need to set the boundaries from the start even if it means being hard on him. as he has tried to nip/bite already i would suggest you never feed by hand, just off the floor or in a bucket!
 
Oh, you sound just like me, 3 1/2 years ago with Archie. I was so upset and worried I even put him up for sale after a week! Thankfully, I realised we both needed time to get to know one another, to take things slowly and not expect too much in early days.

Take a deep breath, tomorrow is a new day and try to chill. We all have to start somewhere and my knowledge then was miniscule compared to what I have learned.

I hope you gain some confidence knowing many of us on here have been exactly where you are and have lived to tell the tale and so have our unsuspecting horses.

Good luck and use this forum or pm us to give you a little help and morale boost.

Best wishes for you and your new horse xxx
 
What breed is he? Sometimes they can take a while to settle in. My friends TB took about 3 weeks to calm down. Deep breath, glass of wine and a hot bath. It will get better I promise!
 
He is a irish gelding, exact breed unknown. I think he is used to living out and not being confined. I can't leave him out though as none of the others are and he'd be on his own. I won't feed him from thehand anymore and i'll be firm also. I know it sounds stupid but i am scared to ride him now! in case he bolts with me or something. He was a really placid slightly lazy horse when i tried him out and now he seems all nostrels flaring! I know i have to give it time, and i really am so grateful for all your lovely comments, i really appreciate them.
 
Ok, i was also going to try him in the school. The person who helped me this evening advised me not to ride for a couple of days and just lead him in hand around the yard so he gets used to everything. It's the bringing in i am dreading! and even considered changing him into his stable rug (he is fully clipped) in the field so he doesn't get a chance to pin me up against the wall etc!
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But then that's not dealing with it so....
 
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It's been over 15 years sincei have owned a horse and just panicked when he started getting stressy and i think it mad it 10 x worse.

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Without trying to sounds harsh: I hope you've not just gone off and bought a horse after 15yrs of no horse contact?! If so I doesn't suprise me you're frightened and he's walking all over you! Hopefully you're have a couple of years of lessons to get back into the swing of it? Most people are nervous of horses because they lack understanding of horse behavour due to lack of experience and knowledge.

A woman at our previous yard did that. After 20yrs of no horsey contacts she had a couple of lessons then went off and bought her self a horse
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She then ruined 3 perfectly good horses and now has a ancient old school master she's too frightened to ride
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Firstly and foremost, as other said, he will take time to settle. Give time and consistant firm handling he will become the gentle quiet boy he was when you tried him.

Get yourself some help ASAP. There are some very good instructors avalible who could help you with ground work. Many BHS instructors may no be much use as they teach mainly riding, but there are some very good Natural horsemanship instructors who specialise in ground work and, more importantly, giving handlers confidence, or at least the ability to act confident effectively until in comes in truth.
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Don't feel pressureised to ride him. The very last thing you need right now is a fright in the saddle, esp if you're a nervous rider too. Spend time getting to know him on the ground first. If you are concerned that he needs ridden, find someone to ride him. Not only will it get him into the routine of being ridden, it will let you see him being well bahaved undersaddle and hopefully give you the confidence to get on.

If the worse come to the worse, put him on loan/get a sharer for a little while whilst you go and get some more lessons and spend time with quiet RS horses who are used to nervous novices. He will then have a chance to settle (assuming he stays at the same yard) whilst you improve your knowledge and confidence working with horses.

Good luck with him!
 
Oh no i have been having lessons for quite a while now to get me back into it. I have a low self esteem in general
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and i did feel a bit in the deep end. I am not usually a nervous rider though, but today has just been very emotional. Thinking about it, i probably have made a mistake buying him. I probably wasn't ready and even though i owned horses for many years, it's been along time and i may not be up to it. Thanks for all the advice. need to get some sleep now, early starts again!
 
(((((hugs))))

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! I had been out of horses for a long while - around 12 years - had a couple of lessons and got a horse. In at the deep end, but each passing moment my confidence got stronger and stronger. I was too scared to do rugs up when I first got Ellie and would ask others to do it for me. Now I trust her 100% and people who saw me with Ellie just 10 short months ago can't believe I am the same person. Just four months into having Ellie I moved off a livery yard and onto my own land. Bloody petrifying, but the best thing I could have done - made me do things for myself.

Ellie is coming up for 28 so has quite complex needs and two months ago I got a bossy 2 year old. However, I am now confident enough to handle the little sod, even when he gets bargy (which isn't very often nowadays).

Take a deep breath and take time to get to know your new pony - you will definately get there, and if you need to chat just pm me.

x
 
Phew!

Too late to decide it's a bit soon, now you've got him
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He sounds like a nice boy and potentially a perfect for for you, even if it's a bit soon. So you'll just have to make the best of it until it's not 'too soon'.

First you need to get the real basics sorted to gain some respect, and confidence for you.

To simplify, all horse resepect and 'dominance' (for want of a better word) revolves around moving of the feet. A more dominate horse makes the less dominate horse MOVE - sometimes it a lunge and bite or kick, but most often if just a flick of the ears, and the less dominate horse moves off.

They act the same around humans. How many times have you seen a grumpy bulshy horse make a nervous human scurry off out their space whilst 'bullying' them? Billy barging you around the stable is no different - he's forcing you to move, and he's 'winning' when you do.

So you need to readdress that balance by YOU moving HIS feet, as you direct.

Rule number one: You personal space is YOUR personal space and he may not, under any circumastance, invade it. You can go into HIS space, but he can't come into yours. If he does, he's being disrespectful and rude (and testing you to see who's boss). That includes: Walking into you. Barging. Headbutting. Itching on you. Standing too close. How many of these does he do?
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They stop, and now. If it's deliberate or rude, stanp your feet, flap your arms, shout and drive him back by YOU stepping towards HIM loud and aggressively. He MUST move away from you. Get cross! It's pure rudeness!!
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If it's a more forgetful, firmly, with your shoulder square, chin up and hips forwards, step into his space and INSIST he moves back from you (a finger in the chest or bum generally works). Keep at it until he does, then praise.

You can practise too. Spend time asking him to go backwards and move his bum round. It's not just about the voice and hand asking - you whole body has to say 'away!'.

Ask your confident friend to watch you doing it, and ask her to correct your body language. I've taught many nervous people to act confidently around horses and the biggest problem they have is their body lanugaue. They THINK they're being confident and assertive but their body is just screaming 'please don't hurt me
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'. Once shown how to ACT, the actual confidence comes naturally.

Make life eay for yourself. Tie him up outside when you change his rugs (he still isn't allowed to swing into you - shove him back over and get cross!), make sure his dinner isn't sitting in view where he can barge at it. When given ithe MUST step back and wait for a second before he's allow to dive in. Have everything ready before he comes in so there's not too much hanging around. And be consistant! If he's not allowed to do 'it' today, he's never allowed to do 'it'.

If you are a confident rider, and you're pretty sure he'll be sensible under saddle, do get on and ride as it will boost your confidence. There is no rush however. You do need to get the ground work sort regardless though.

You will find that as you're knowlegde and understanding of his behaviour and ways increases, so will your confidence, until you can't understand how on earth you were ever frightned of him.
 
definately sounds to me like he was stressed in a new place which always heightens there sense of attachment to other horses. Let him settle and spend time around him just being there so he can get used to you and start to relax a little. I have had horses for years but it is still very stressful and nervewracking when you first get them back home as you really want everything to go right and as we all know horses dont read the textbooks! Dont rush take your time and he will love you to bits for it i am sure he will feel lucky to have an owner who cares a great deal about him. Good luck :-) you'll do fine
 
Woah slow down sarahsum1. I know you have had a bad day with him but thinking of selling him already is IMO a bit hasty
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Give him the chance to settle down and for you both to get to know each other and develope a bond. Once things have settled down I bet you will be glad that you persevered with him

Good Luck
 
I know you've probably gone to bed and might not read this but I was sad to read your last post about not feeling up to it.

Many people will offer you advice (and some of it might even be useful LOL) but all you really need to do is remember why you bought him and do whatever makes you most comfortable. You are up to it, just understandably cautious with a new horse. I've owned horses consistently for over 25 years and if a new one presents unusual behaviours I am cautious too. Self preservation is all it is.

It's supposed to be fun and if you can try and find the 'fun' in working out how to deal with any challenging behaviour then you've got it cracked. Get help from whoever you know you can trust and if you don't know anyone in the area ask your farrier or vet who they recommend.

When you look back at this time in a few months you'll see how much confidence you've gained and your trust in your own abilities and your horse will have soared.

If he's lived out and has moved homes, unless he's a seasoned competition sort he will be tense. Both of mine live out most of the year and are a flippin' nuisance when I bring them in at night in the winter for quite a few days. I take them to my farrier and put them in his stables and my trainer for lessons and they always behave like the world is going to end. And one of mine IS a competition horse.

I hope you wake up excited by your new friend and look forward to getting to know him.
 
Hi, I've not read through all the other replies, however, similar happened to my friend. The horse she bought as a quiet, laidback type, turned into a loony once it arrived at her yard. so much so we thought it had been doped. But within a week she had settled and was back to the origional laidback horse she had veiwed.
So hopefully, once your horse settles, it'll be fine
H xx
 
I've always found that to give yourself a fortnight to let horse settle in, as you have to get use to their way of doing things and they have to get use to you as his previous owner most probable did things different from the way you do. Also I believe it takes a good year for horse and owner to get use to each other, specaily the riding part. So stop beating yourself up tell yourself you can do it.
 
Hugs hun. Have pm'd you. As the others have said, give both of you chance to settle in to this new life - but as said, the ground work on explaining to the lad that you are the boss. It's not a horrible "Oh I'm better than him, etc etc etc" thing, it's a self preservation thing
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Does he have to come in at night or were you just bringing him in for handling/feed.
If he's used to living out maybe he will settle quicker if he canstay out for a while & then gradually introduce him to the stable. 2 of mine have lived out for years but are going to have to be stabled at night in the winter tthios year so I am just strating to bring them in & give them a feed in the stable before turning them out again. The mare is distinctly unimpressed!
 
Oh dear! Everyones bound to be a bit emotional on the horse's first day at the yard. I do hope today is another story!

Just be calm and patient with him and don't feel in a hurry to get on and ride him! There's nothing wrong in waiting a week or two for that. instead perhaps you could lunge him as this will help reinforce some respect ans well as giving him something to think about.

routine is so important in helping a horse settle so make sure you decide on your turn out / bring in routine and stick to it.

I really hope he settles for you and that yesterday was just all about the emotions!

you know where we all are if you need us.
 
i still remember buying my first pony and wondering what on earth i had done.
the man who helped you sounds like he has his head screwed on the right way, just let your horse get used to evrything in his own time.
 
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