New horse anxieties, I know its early days but I seem to be riding like a muppet!

[seoirse]

Hi there, sorry this is quite long but I need some help!!

I’ve very pleased to say I’ve finally got another horse after losing my fantastic connie in July. New boy is a 15.3 connie x TB, 14 years old, belongs to a friend who’s gone to live abroad. I’ve got him for 18 months probably longer though. I’ve only had him 2 weeks yesterday, and so we’ve not had a chance to do much, we do have indoor and outdoor schools with flood lights so I have managed to ride most days but we’ve only ridden round the farm or in the school and popped a couple of jumps really. I’m trying to take it easy while I get used to being back in the saddle and he gets used to his new life.

He’s being a poppet to do and is living out for the first time in his life which he seems quite happy with. However, I’m having a few problems on the ridden front. About 1 week in I suddenly couldn’t get him into canter in the school. The strike off hadn’t been great and when I went to try him I struggled with it a bit, he just kept poking his nose and racing off in trot and I’d bring him back settle him and try again and same again, so we’ve not consistently been good at that anyway, but it seems to be getting worse. Then yesterday we hacked out – just in walk, he was perfect, despite flappy bags on scaffolding, gangs of cyclists and a man under a car on a trolley – he didn’t bat an eye. Got back and I decided to have a trot around the farm as well, he got a bit excitable when we got on the grass, but not surprised as we’d been in the school all week, he just squealed and had a little wiggle, nothing much. After he settled in walk I asked for trot, he just set himself and stuck his head up, so much I could see the front of his face! I had NO control. He didn’t try and take off, just evaded me altogether. Obviously I felt unsafe so I stopped straight away and went back in the flipping indoor school and trotted in there for a bit on a loose rein so he’d had a bit of a leg stretch.

I phoned his owner, she said he’s not done that before but is prone to a bit of nose poking sometimes, he’s got a soft mouth but she said don’t let him fool you and take the p*** cos he’s not overly sensitive. She also said the canter strike of has never been a problem and she thinks it sounds like he’s trying it on with me a bit. Now this horse has never been owned by anyone other than her and not ridden by many people either. She is a very very good rider and trains dressage horses for other people very successfully. I have also owned just one horse for 9 years prior to losing him in July, so I’ve not sat on many others recently, though I used to take kids ponies for schooling and worked on a TB stud starting youngsters before they went into training in a previous life so I have a fair amount of experience and have had regular lessons for the last 20 years.

I’m feeling like I cant remember how to ride though. She says I need to get a bit tough with him, I feel that he’s had a bit of a culture shock, moving yards, new human, living out for the first time etc and so he’s a bit bewildered and panicky and its very early days . He’s a super horse and really good natured and a fab opportunity for me to have a schoolmaster as I’d never be able to afford anything like him. I am going to try and book some lessons but my instructor can’t come til the new year as she’s so booked up and I have to fit it around work.

His owner is around for a week after the new year as well and she’s going to come and help me, she’s been great and really reassuring, she is sure he is just trying it on. He’s having his teeth done next week, which I’d booked before he came as it was due (6 months since last one), but I am sure there is nothing wrong as he was fine 2 weeks ago when he was still with his owner!

I’ve dug out a martingale for next time I go outside with him too. I know all this is me. I know this horse is capable of great things – his CV is pretty impressive. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m a bit rusty I’ve been out of the saddle pretty much since April when my last horse went onto box rest, but I can’t have forgotten that much?!

Any advice, ideas or similar experiences – I’d love to know. Just need someone to hold my hand a bit! I love this horse already and I know we can iron this out I just don’t know where to start and I think because he is precious and belongs to a friend I’m treating him like glass a bit and I need to have a bit more confidence in myself and ride him a bit more positively.

Thanks if you’ve managed to read to the end!

 

[Tinsel Trouble]

He is testing you out. Don't lose your temper but do not be fooled by him! Have a week of intensive lessons.

With out seeing pics or a video i would suggest that you have adopted the feotal position. sit up! and when you ask for canter in the school next time ask for an outside bend, sit up and push on your heels and seat bone.
and remember....
ABORT THE FOETAL POSITION!!!

 

[McNally]

Bless you- Its not easy having a new horse after loosing a long term old horse, I found that really hard to deal with and i also felt i was useless at riding. I think it was down to the fact that me and my old boy knew each other so well he responded instantly to the tiny signals we both understood, That takes time but you will get there especially if you like the horse- thats a major thing i think.
Is there anyone you could hack with? No pressure maybe ride in the school for 15 minutes to settle him and you then go for a wander down the road and back with a quiet horse? I found having someone alongside to chat to ment i wasn't so focused on what i was doing and relaxed, in turn relaxing the horse!
Also having moved yards in July i can also vouch for the fact some horses take a long time to settle whilst others deal with it as if nothing happened. My daughters perfect youngster started messing round and was quite stressy for a few months after the move- He's settled now tho'.
Its a huge shame about your instructor that would be the perfect answer but in general i think if you read your thread you will see you know exactly the problem your just after a bit of support and for someone else to say yes its ok.....good luck xx

 

[seoirse]

You might as well have seen a video cos I think you've hit the nail on the head and I am collapsing a forward. Need to find a friend to come and observe and shout at me when I do it I think. Lessons really will have to wait til the new year as instructor and I can't find any times we can both do before then. Might see if there is anyone else who can come out before then though. Would LOVE a week of lessons - just not practical at the moment.

Not likely I will lose my temper as its not really my style but more likely to just get a bit flustered and cross with myself. I know its not the horse. They've all got this type of behaviour in them ready for when a moron gets on their back and who can blame them.

Thanks for your words - I am adopting ABORT THE FOETAL POSITION!!! as my motto for next schooling session which will be tomorrow evening as I know this is something I do need to keep in the front of my mind!

 

[Tinsel Trouble]

I yell it at my sister all the time!

shoulders back, lower leg forwards and tuck your bottom under- then you can't pitch forwards!

(you need to watch the film 'without a paddle' for the origin! very funny!)

If you're anywhere near lincolnshire I am more than happy to come and shout it at you too!!!

 

[seoirse]

Thanks McNally – you are right, I do need a bit of reassurance, it is so tough when you lose a horse that really was ‘the one’. My old boy was awesome, but it took a looooong time before we were good friends, he really ran rings around me when I got him but I took him on knowing he was tricky so it was a bit different. New boy really has been a star and hasn’t done anything wacky at all which is just wonderful and we’ve had a few dramas already, including loose bullocks last week which really didn’t worry him. Tomorrow we’ve got the farrier and they are hunting across our land so will see how that goes! I have been riding with other people in the school and around the farm and I think perhaps my choice of riding buddy yesterday in the field perhaps wasn’t ideal as I’m a bit wary of his ability to control his horse anyway! Need to stick to my faithful riding mates with faithful horses.
Thanks so much for your support, it really helps me think about it all from different angles.
Will update tomorrow after riding. I’ve got someone to come and share the school with me tomorrow, who’s got a sensible horse so hopefully that will help.

 

[seoirse]

I yell it at my sister all the time!

shoulders back, lower leg forwards and tuck your bottom under- then you can't pitch forwards!

(you need to watch the film 'without a paddle' for the origin! very funny!)

If you're anywhere near lincolnshire I am more than happy to come and shout it at you too!!!

In Oxfordshire sadly!
It's hard to find a willing shouter at this time of year when its dark and cold when I ride!

 

[seoirse]

I rode in the outdoor school last night and all was well. Just walked and trotted, but I really focussed on sitting on my bum and not collapsing forward and riding him forward into my hand. I was much firmer with him that I have been and he seemed lots happier with life and was really settled and went quite well but a bit sticky on the corners, but thats my fault as I’m stiff I think. I think I’ve not really been giving him enough info til now.

Yesterday was a bit wild as the hunt came over our land and I had badly planned my farrier visit so the poor chap was there shoeing with the hunt going by. New boy had a bit of a squeal coming in from the field and promptly went to sleep on the yard while being shod. My 26 year old ex showjumping pony on the other hand did about 400 poos and spun round and round on the yard in a total state, but was nice to the farrier luckily!

When I went back to ride after the hunt excitement had settled down I was a bit worried he might be a bit excitable as everything had been running about (except him!) but I needn’t have worried. He didn’t care.

Going to ride indoors tonight and have a go at the canter strike off again!

Feeling a bit better about it all. Thanks folks.
xxx

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Thanks McNally – you are right, I do need a bit of reassurance, it is so tough when you lose a horse that really was ‘the one’. My old boy was awesome, .

Know exactly where you're coming from here OP; my old boy was an absolute darling - he'd have turned a somersault for me if I'd asked him to, and the problem I then had when I lost him was that there just wasn't any other horse quite like him!! Bless him, that's the problem when you've had something which is such a part of you and knows what you're gonna do before you do it.

I think the problem is that your new horse is obviously sensing that you're a bit insecure and uptight; and horses being horses, is showing that in your ridden work. Its good that you've got the previous owner to help you - so it would be sensible to make good use of that, but it still wouldn't hurt to have a few lessons with someone different but who knows you and the way you ride coz sometimes a fresh view of things is a good thing.

Also bear in mind that at this time of the year no horse is gonna behave like a saint! Simply because its so blimmin difficult to get out on them and have a good burn to get the cr@p out of them; most of us have to work during the day and struggle with getting our horses out during the week (would KILL for a floodlight/covered school though......)

I think this is just a temporary phase for you and your new chappie - its almost inevitable with a new partnership that its not a matter of "if" there's problems, coz there's always a "when" basically - and I think that give it a month or two you're both gonna be doing fine.

 

[seoirse]

Yeah it sucks losing an awesome horse. Mine was only 12. I thought we'd be together forever.

I looked at loads as well before I got this one, and he kind of found me really through my friend who's moved to Oz. I wasn't convinced initially as he's bigger than I wanted and had never lived out but I've known him for years and I know he's a good boy, and then I went (halfway across Britain!) and tried him and was sold cos he's so easy to deal with and chilled out. I really really like him and I know we'll gel soon, its just my confidence is in tatters really, in my riding and generally in my ability to do all things horse! My old boy was pts after foundering, he'd never had lammy in his life before, I'd had him from a 3 yo and was he fit and slim and well when it struck, he went from mild lammy to foundered in less than 10 weeks despite box rest and all the meds and remedial trimming/pads etc. The vets were amazing and did everything they could but totally baffled why it wouldn't stop progressing. It was awful and really shattered my confidence in my ability to look after a horse. I questioned whether I really wanted to carry on but it soon became apparent I had to and my husband was practically beggining me to go and get another horse after a few months as I must have been driving him bats!!!

So, yes, I am lacking in confidence at the moment and poor new horse knows this and needs me to man up and bit for his sake I think! I'm managing to find people to come and hang around with me while I get him in and ride etc and its helping loads, yesterday we had a really good day, despite the hunt etc, he was a star. I'm riding tonight too (I know how spoiled we are with the indoor school! It's BRILLIANT!! New horse in November would be complete madness otherwise!). I just need to keep at it and once I've got a few weeks under my belt I think I'll feel better. It's just good to get a bit of reassurance from others who've been through something similar. It really helps lots!

 

[Tammytoo]

Have you tried taking some Rescue Remedy before you ride? It helps settle the nerves (a sort of calmer for humans!) After losing some confidence a few years ago with a dangerous horse I found myself dreading getting on my new, safe, horse and then adopting the ineffective foetal position! I read about a well know international rider using Bach Rescue Remedy before he did big competitions. I tried it and after a few weeks I had regained a lot of my confidence and gradually stopped using it.

From reading your posts I would say that you know exactly where it's going wrong and what you need to do, so you're dedfinitely not a muppet! I wouldn't worry too much about perfect transitions and schooling for the moment, just enjoy getting to know him and getting to know his "buttons". I don't think he is taking the p--s, I think he just needs the security of a more positive rider.

He sounds a lovely horse and if his owner comes and helps you with some riding tips him I'm sure you will go on to have just as good a relationship with him as you did with your lovely connie.

Good luck!

 

[seoirse]

Have you tried taking some Rescue Remedy before you ride? It helps settle the nerves (a sort of calmer for humans!)

oh yeah, good idea! I always forget about these sorts of things. I think there are some rescue rem pastilles in a drawer somewhere, I'm going to have a rummage before I go and ride this evening!

Thanks for the idea!

 

[paddi22]

if he is nose poking, especially between transitions it might be due to your hands moving to much and losing the contact, especially if you find you are leaning forwards.. i have this problem and it drives me mad!

if he is doing that, holding the reins using a long neckstrap would help balance, strengthen and keep your hands quiet. he will find it harder to pull then.

what about slowing down and just getting lessons in walk and trot until you get the basics sorted. Once i got my contact sorted in walk, i found hacking etc much easier as my hands wouldn't 'jump' if i got uptight.

 

[NooNoo59]

I had the same problem when my mare went lame six years ago, did not have a lot of money and bought an appaloosa gelding who in the first six months was going to be sold every week!! It takes time for both horse and rider to adjust to a new best friend, dont forget time on the ground is important too, just getting to know each other, bit like a new man but more fun!!. I still have my boy and he is the best thing in my life, my mare has sadly now been put to sleep, i would never consider selling him now, he is such a character and great fun, and we are a partnership, but it took about nine months before i thought yes this is right for me and him. Be patient, and dont be too hard on yourself, its a big ask changing horses and time is the thing, and horses being horses there are always some days that are better than others, but its not personal, we all have off days!! He sounds like he is worth sticking with, just take your time. Keep us posted

 

[seoirse]

Hi there, well, we made massive progress over the weekend. My plans to ride Weds and Thurs night went out the window due to getting tied up at work Weds and then that dreadful weather on Thurs. Poor indoor horse. He was not very happy, but he was warm and dry under his rugs so I had to be hard and leave him out in it, I put him up against the woodland with his hay and food as it was pretty sheltered there. Felt terrible but he’s got to get used to it. Bless him. He was happy as larry Friday morning though flirting with his g/f over the fence so being left out in dire weather certainly did him no lasting harm.

Friday though I rode in the school and found a willing shouter who was brilliant and between us we did get the canter strike of a bit better. It still isn’t consistent but I did get him into canter without to much stress several times on each rein, one rein is, inevitably, better than the other. Saturday was Christmas shopping so it was a total write off, but yesterday I took him out for a 2 hr hack with a friend who has a super steady horse, we didn’t hare about as it was so slippy, but we had a couple of canters, encountered pheasants, ended up halfway across a MASSIVE field before we realised it was full of turned away polo ponies, who then came racing over to check us out – I pooed myself but horse was AMAZING and didn’t turn a hair, just kept walking. We cantered across massive opened spaces, something he is not used to, and he was brilliant, he was obviously excited by it but didn’t mess about or pull. I had him in a snaffle, but I did put the martingale on which helped as he did do the nose pokey thing but with that on it meant it didn’t cause any problems. All in all my confidence is much better now. We’ve still got miles to go before our flatwork is decent enough to show in public but we’ve got all winter and an indoor school to work on that (I know we are spoiled!!!).

Thanks so much everyone for your encouragement – it helps immensely!

 

[Kat]

He sounds utterly fab for saying you haven't had him long!

Sounds as though you have had good advice and are making good progress but just one thing i thought might help. Ask his owner how she gives the aids for canter, and do it the same. If he has only had one owner he will be very much trained to her way of riding and you are used to your old horse......

Some people do use slightly different aids for canter, some use more inside leg, some more outside leg, some lift their inside hand, some ask for a bit of outside bend..... you are probably both speaking the same language but with a different accent and leading to a bit of confusion!

Also try walk to canter transitions, some horses have been trained to mainly do walk to canter, with others it can help take out some of the running off in trot.

Good luck with him.

 

[Twiglet]

I'm in such a similar situation to you! New horse, and me feeling like I can't ride for toffee. Add to that, he's young and has been started really well in life, so I am feeling the pressure of not 'ruining' him. Hope your situation continues to improve

 

[seoirse]

He sounds utterly fab for saying you haven't had him long!

Sounds as though you have had good advice and are making good progress but just one thing i thought might help. Ask his owner how she gives the aids for canter, and do it the same. If he has only had one owner he will be very much trained to her way of riding and you are used to your old horse......

Some people do use slightly different aids for canter, some use more inside leg, some more outside leg, some lift their inside hand, some ask for a bit of outside bend..... you are probably both speaking the same language but with a different accent and leading to a bit of confusion!

Also try walk to canter transitions, some horses have been trained to mainly do walk to canter, with others it can help take out some of the running off in trot.

Good luck with him.

You are right about the aids for canter, I spoke to her about it and she said more inside leg and lift the inside hand, so been trying to factor that in too, feels like re-learning to ride a bit!! She also said to trot a 10m circle and ask for canter heading towards the wall to stop him running off in trot.

He's being so good though and I've been a bit of a wreck this week cos the weather is so awful and he's out for the first time in his life. We have some woodland at one end of the field which provides quite a bit of shelter and he's sussed out to go and hang out up there and actually seems much less bothered about the weather than I am! He also seems to be getting visibily tougher by the day, or perhaps he's just getting muddier so he looks tougher!!! He's blanket clipped and I would have left his back legs on at least for living out, but he seems to be coping.

How long have you had your new one Twiglet? It makes is even harder when its a baby but if he's been started off well you'd have to go some to ruin him. Just take your time. Baby steps!

I'm just trying to be satisfied with riding at the weekends and even once in the week is an achievment while the weather is like this even with an indoor school! Its quite a long walk to bring him in so when its lobbing it down he'd much rather stay tucked in at the woods with his hay than come in across an exposed field.

I feel now like I've just got to try and keep things ticking over as they are until the weather improves a bit and then hopefully we'll have more time and energy to get to know one another better. I knew getting a new horse in November would be bonkers!