New horse anxiety

[Adoni123]

Hiya all,

Finally found myself a lovely horse. Thankfully I have a few weeks to prepare and get to visit her on her current yard a couple times more before moving.

Does anyone have any tips? I'm not an anxious rider, but due to previous failed purchase I'm feeling extremely nervous about the first few weeks. On top of that, I'm worried my anxiety will ruin everything with the new horse. Worried about my worrying...

She's calm and being sold through someone I trust. I've done everything right and had a few lessons on her. I've organised my instructor comes out when she arrives for a couple days in a row to support and probably will sit on her for me if I'm being an idiot.

It's all in my head, but any help appreciated! I wish I could fast forward a month and I know I'll be happy as anything.

Any nervous rider help appreciated too. This is all I've wanted for such a long time and now it's happening I feel ill!

TIA <3

 

[chocolategirl]

Hiya all,

Finally found myself a lovely horse. Thankfully I have a few weeks to prepare and get to visit her on her current yard a couple times more before moving.

Does anyone have any tips? I'm not an anxious rider, but due to previous failed purchase I'm feeling extremely nervous about the first few weeks. On top of that, I'm worried my anxiety will ruin everything with the new horse. Worried about my worrying...

She's calm and being sold through someone I trust. I've done everything right and had a few lessons on her. I've organised my instructor comes out when she arrives for a couple days in a row to support and probably will sit on her for me if I'm being an idiot.

It's all in my head, but any help appreciated! I wish I could fast forward a month and I know I'll be happy as anything.

Any nervous rider help appreciated too. This is all I've wanted for such a long time and now it's happening I feel ill!

TIA <3

Ask yourself what will worrying change, once you ask this and answer in your head, your anxiety should ease a notch. I’ve had 3 lots of CBT over the years and this was a game changer for me tbh. Worrying is pointless and once you accept that it changes nought, it’s like a lightbulb moment?‍Good luck with your new pony, I’m sure it’s all going to work out brilliantly ?

 

[Muddywellies]

Have you had her vetted. Ive seen sooooooo many people bitterly disappointed once they take delivery if new horse to find there are undisclosed issues. Hindsight. . . .

 

[McFluff]

Ask yourself what will worrying change, once you ask this and answer in your head, your anxiety should ease a notch. I’ve had 3 lots of CBT over the years and this was a game changer for me tbh. Worrying is pointless and once you accept that it changes nought, it’s like a lightbulb moment?‍Good luck with your new pony, I’m sure it’s all going to work out brilliantly ?

This, plus checking you are controlling what you can. Which it sounds like you are. So have someone there the first few times you ride. Give yourself permission to stick to walk for the first few rides and build that up as you gain trust in each other. Spend time on the ground with her, getting to know each other. Do some in-hand work. Most importantly, allow both of you time to adapt and work together.

If it helps, I spent the first two months wondering if I had done the right thing. Feeling I wasn't good enough, and getting worried at the slightest thing. Suddenly we turned a corner and all the worry went away, and he is now my horse of a lifetime.

 

[PurBee]

It sounds like youve got all bases covered and have support helping too. Have a hug! Its normal to have some concern with something ‘new’ we’re embarking on in life….i almost threw up 1st day i got a horse!…after 20+yrs of wanting one ?

As mentioned, ultimately a worry mindset is a waste of our precious mental and emotional energy - so to flip that worry mind to an excited, courageous mindset about your new horse, think of all the great things you want to experience with your horse. Win a rosette? Enjoying grooming for hours? Treks in forests? Going to clinics to improve rider/horse?
With these hopes you imagine, also mentally imagine you doing it - use your ‘minds eye‘ to picture and see you doing these things you love.
If this mental exercise is a daily habit - you can transform the ‘unknown’ future/ worry /possibilities thoughts that cause worry into concrete goals you want to achieve.

Many worries are “what if..?” enquiries. We can only deal with issues WHEN they arise, and to ponder what can go wrong is using our imagination faculty to negative ends, when we have the power of our mind and imagination to transform that worry habit to a mind creating goals/achievements, and ultimately it helps us in various aspects of life to overcome the ‘natural worrier’ mindset.

Initially its hard to flip the mindset, so i made a rule - when worry concerns enter my mind, focus instead of anything at all that is positive/uplifting, preferably about the issue. If not possible then just focus on something that helps to calm and centre you. This stops the ‘habitual worry mind’ to roll on doing its normal habit of worry mindset. Play a song and sing along when concerned about something, for instance.
Learning to control emotions and learning that we do have a choice how to feel about a thing, was the biggest turning point for me to be able to handle the hard knocks life can throw.

Wishing you so much joy with your new horse! ?

 

[Identityincrisis]

I have really struggled with anxiety recently, related directly to travelling horses following on from a horrible experience. I goggled anxiety controlling techniques and one really worked for me because it was so visual (in my head) and it forced slow breathing

You imagine your anxiety as a house on fire, if you're feeling really anxious, the flames are in the roof/windows/doors/garden. You are the fire fighter. You pretend your breath is the hose/water so you blow out the fire, starting in the roof and making your way slowly down the house. By the time you reach the garden your anxiety/breathing should be returning to normal. I look ridiculous doing it but it has helped so much, and by being calmer myself, it has really helped the horse too.

You also have to remember this is a new horse so try not to bring your previous hang ups with you (easier said than done, hence why i struggle/struggled) with travelling)

 

[Bernster]

Ooh I like that IIC! I can see that really working.

I have had a few wobbles with my new boy and have taken it very slowly. Best to plan and focus on what you can control, and have lots of support if you can to help through the early days. Stick to your comfort zone for a while, whatever that is, and enjoy the journey. Come over to the new owner/rider check in thread too, and let us know how you’re getting on ?

 

[Adoni123]

Have you had her vetted. Ive seen sooooooo many people bitterly disappointed once they take delivery if new horse to find there are undisclosed issues. Hindsight. . . .

I am having her vetted, this is obviously if goes to plan but all information is good anyway as if something terrible came up I'd be looking for another to buy

Thanks all for your suggestions they are really helpful. It's good to remember I'm not alone and that lots of people feel this way sometimes!

 

[littleshetland]

I have really struggled with anxiety recently, related directly to travelling horses following on from a horrible experience. I goggled anxiety controlling techniques and one really worked for me because it was so visual (in my head) and it forced slow breathing

You imagine your anxiety as a house on fire, if you're feeling really anxious, the flames are in the roof/windows/doors/garden. You are the fire fighter. You pretend your breath is the hose/water so you blow out the fire, starting in the roof and making your way slowly down the house. By the time you reach the garden your anxiety/breathing should be returning to normal. I look ridiculous doing it but it has helped so much, and by being calmer myself, it has really helped the horse too.

You also have to remember this is a new horse so try not to bring your previous hang ups with you (easier said than done, hence why i struggle/struggled) with travelling)

Thats excellent!

 

[Identityincrisis]

Thats excellent!

It really is, i am amazed at how well it works

 

[Trouper]

It sounds as if you have thought about this very carefully and made all the sensible preparations you can.

I would only add that the horse will be feeling as anxious as you when she arrives. So that is your job - to park your own anxiety and concentrate on re-assuring her and settling her in. I always find it helps to focus on something "outside of me" as a job to do then I don't have the time to worry about the internal me.

 

[Adoni123]

It sounds as if you have thought about this very carefully and made all the sensible preparations you can.

I would only add that the horse will be feeling as anxious as you when she arrives. So that is your job - to park your own anxiety and concentrate on re-assuring her and settling her in. I always find it helps to focus on something "outside of me" as a job to do then I don't have the time to worry about the internal me.

Thanks, I'd hate to make her feel any worse than she is. Even with having my instructor there for the first few days I think will make me chill so I don't upset her. (praying!!!)