New horse nerves!

[squidsin]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and also to horse owning. I've ridden on and off all my life (with a big break in my 20s while I lived in London) but at the grand old age of 37, I have my first horse, a 10-year old 15.1 mare. I adore her but must admit I worry about her more than I do my two kids! She's quite a ploddy sort, which suits me just fine (that's why I bought her, being a novice, I chose a schoolmistress sort), but at the same time, she can be a bit spooky - she seemed to be terrified at first but has calmed down a lot in the month I've had her. Our bond of trust is developing and that's really lovely as she's not a horse that trusts easily (I suspect she may have been mistreated at some point, there are some old marks on her that look like whip marks to me). I've got her in a fantastic, small, supportive yard. Was doing pretty well, riding in the school and hacking, then on Sat, right at the end of a hack with friends, something spooked her and she set off full tilt down a hill, which resulted in me falling off. I only sprained my thumb and gashed my knee but got up and caught her OK, but it freaked me out a bit. I know these things happen - and will happen again - and I am a brave person most of the time, so what can I do/tell myself to get over my sudden onset of terror?!

 

[Aarrghimpossiblepony]

Look at the positives.

"Well what is the worse that can happen?
The horse bolts down a hill and I fall off."

(pretty sure that before this happened, that's the kind of conversation you would have had with yourself)

So the worst happened, you are in one piece, the horse in one piece, she let you catch her.
Don't blow this up in your head so the event seems worse than it really was. Frightening at the time, but so are all sorts of things.

And if something similar happens again, chances are that it will have exactly the same non life threatening (both you and the horse) consequencies.

And take it easy on yourself. Hacking with people who have had their horses a lot longer is a pretty brave thing to do in the first place.

And don't read this forum, that's got to be the biggest confidence sapping activity one could possibly do.

Good luck.

 

[D66]

Hi Squidsy
These things happen, don't dwell on it, move on. It is always good to have some lessons on a new horse - the instructor can give you another perspective.
Good luck.

 

[Luci07]

Good idea to get lessons - it will do wonders for your confidence, you have done everything properly and you are now coming into the time of year when yipee,... its great to be a horse owner (rather than feeling like the worlds biggest mug when everyone else is tucked up in the warm)

Also, stick a neckstrap on her to grab if you are worried. It can be an old stirrup leather and is literally just a strap around the base of her neck. It will give you something else to hang onto if you are worried. I stick one on my youngster and it has saved me when we have had a "oh my god" moment out on hacks in the past!

 

[MaHats]

I think she will soon get more confident, you can help her.

If i helps you be more relaxed (which will help her), add some safety stuff, a neck strap even. Doesnt matter what people say or think, it only matters what your horse thinks. She probably didnt expect you to fall; and a good sort will maybe take more care with you in future.

Lessons are good, confidence and balance are invaluable, for both you and your horse.

She sounds a nice horse. I'm sure you will have loads of fun together.

Edited to add - see two votes for neck strap, it really does work

 

[squidsin]

Thanks everyone! I ride her in a running martingale so she already has a neck strap - totally forgot to hold onto it though! I actually did a bit of jumping with her on the hack - just popped a couple of little logs to see if we could - and she was amazing so right up until the moment I fell off, which was 5 mins from the yard, it was a totally fantastic hack!

I have lessons on her on Wednesday lunchtimes and this time I've booked one for Thurs too to get my confidence back together before hacking on Fri. I've ridden her in the school on my own since too but I feel a bit weird schooling on my own. I find myself telling myself aloud what to do, as if I'm pretending to be my own riding instructor!

 

[MerrySherryRider]

She sounds fab, don't worry, she's in a new home with a new owner, it takes time to get to know each other. She probably just had a wobbly moment, something spooked her and perhaps, when you got taken by surprise, you weren't able to relax and reassure her.
Its all normal and part of the process of getting to know and rely on each other.
Apart from continuing with lessons and the neck strap (martingale), just ride her.
Best way to make a horse confident and bombproof, is to ride, ride, ride. Don't worry too much, I've often had a sticky moment on a new horse but you have to put it behind you and not anticipate a repeat performance as that can be a self fulfilling prophesy.

Good luck and enjoy her.

 

[squidsin]

She sounds fab, don't worry, she's in a new home with a new owner, it takes time to get to know each other. She probably just had a wobbly moment, something spooked her and perhaps, when you got taken by surprise, you weren't able to relax and reassure her.
Its all normal and part of the process of getting to know and rely on each other.
Apart from continuing with lessons and the neck strap (martingale), just ride her.
Best way to make a horse confident and bombproof, is to ride, ride, ride. Don't worry too much, I've often had a sticky moment on a new horse but you have to put it behind you and not anticipate a repeat performance as that can be a self fulfilling prophesy.

Good luck and enjoy her.

Thank you! Pretty sure it was my friend's dog - my mare's not keen on dogs (despite being an ex hunter - or perhaps because of it!) and he was hugging her legs a bit. I didn't anticipate it because I hadn't realised he was so close behind us. I'm riding out on Friday and we don't be taking the dogs so FC there won't be a repeat performance!

 

[RainbowDash]

Hi OP, glad you're okay after your fall.

Its early days yet with your new horse. She's still settling in and getting to know her new surroundings, new equine friends, and your good self. Take her out as much as possible, take it steady - it may not have been the dog that bothered her but something you don't know about yet .

I'm still learning about Boyo 14 months on, he's great in steady company but if one of the horses is a jogger or is one he doesn't get on with in turnout he becomes a different animal and more erm. Welshy.

Also, a few of the mares on our yard are acting a little out if character at the mo.