New horse, new yard, quickly losing confidence!

[Kellz]

Hi, my new horse was delivered on Saturday afternoon, sadly in the dark. She’s moved from a private yard with two other horses to a large livery yard with 30+ horses. She settled in her shared paddock quite well and we left her for the night.
Arrive back on the yard on Sunday morning to be told she’s feral, running round the field and had kicked a few horses. 😔. One particular mare in the next field had taken a huge dislike to her and was trying to kick her through the fence and gate. My mare is 15.3h of solid cob and she’s an 11h chestnut mare!!!
I decided to give her a break from the field and walk her up through the yard to the school, show her round so to speak. Oh. My. Life!! She nearly had me over several times and there was no way she was going all the way up. We got half way there and she started circling. I figured we’d got a fair distance and to let her settle back in the field. Turned her round and she near enough dragged me back to the field. When I viewed her she was calm, quiet and easy on the ground. Even the vet who performed the vetting said she had one of the best temperaments she’d seen in a long while.
Am I expecting too much? Is it too soon? She’s suddenly joined a huge herd, in strange surroundings and a new human is trying to be her mum. I’m now terrified to lead her anywhere or try again and know those nerves are going to do nothing for her confidence.
Any advice is greatly received, I am a new horse owner but have loaned for my daughter for a while now.
(Photo of said stunner turning me round!)

 

[Sandstone1]

Maybe give her a few days to settle in her new environment?
Perhaps in a day or two walk her all round the new yard to let her see everything.
Its a huge change for her. Just let her settle for a bit.

 

[Red-1]

Yes, that is fairly common with a new horse, changing types of home. TBH, I have often found that it is the self sufficient ones who are used to making their own decisions who take a change the worst, as they are not used to a human micro managing them.

I would get some help with her, a trainer who understands how to help a human settle their horse. If you say where you are maybe someone on here could help you find a helper. Is the YO experienced? They may be able to help you handle initially, turn out, bring in etc. What about putting the horse to work, lunge maybe? Give a purpose and routine.

Lovely looking horse!

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

A big shame you couldn't have stabled overnight and then turned out in daylight.

I echo what Red 1 has just posted

 

[Shay]

Is there any way you could stable her or even just let her get used to new paddock mates over the fence? She's just shocked and scared. She doesn't know you yet, doesn't know she can trust you and is trying to make survival decisions for herself. Cobs can get out of hand quite quickly so a good instructor from the start is a far better investment than trying to fix anything later, but she looks absolutely lovely.

 

[Kellz]

Thank you so much. Unfortunately there’s a waiting list for a stable so she’s in a shared paddock with shelter over night then the yard turn her out into a field in the morning. She’s happy with the 3 other horses in the paddock and is pining for one of them who is in the lami field over the fence. The YO is experienced and there’s a few others around who could help. I’m in Nottinghamshire if there are any good trainers anyone could recommend.
I’m hoping to get her working as soon as I can but just need to get her confidence up (and mine!) to take her up to the school. It is a very busy livery with a riding school attached to it so really really not what she’s used to.

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

And please, hat and gloves when leading. I know it seems a faff but it's a rule at our yard (BHS training centre) but it means you never stand out. Do what you need to feel safe. I've had my lad for over a year and he is settled but when bringing him in on Saturday (out if his normal routine) I had a friend and a lead rope each (The staff would happily bring him and a friend with just one human!)

Please find yourself a trainer who can show you how to establish groundwork. I did it when I got mine and I got another lesson when we moved yards to re-establish the rules. Money very well spent. I used Horse Help UK.

 

[SEL]

If its any consolation both my horses were absolute nightmares on the ground when we moved yards at the end of August. Even my usually quiet, rock solid draft was a little bugger for the first few days and my mare is only just beginning to settle - and that's with two of them who have been together for years and have each other for company.

Don't under estimate how stressful it is for the horse to move away from their friends and familiar environment to somewhere new. I took a kick on my thigh about week 3 when my mare aimed it at a gelding over the fence when I lead her down the track and I remember thinking that I should really have had my hat on. I lead her in the bridle for a couple of weeks too.

My first session in the school had her on the end of a lunge rope. She galloped flat out round in circles for about 10 mins - but they do need to be able to get this out of their system because its a reaction to stress. If you aren't confident enough to do this then see if someone can help you and make sure that you have the school to yourself for that first session. It won't last!

 

[ester]

so she has been ok in the small overnight paddock of 3 but not when put in the field which as a bigger herd? Is it a mixed herd or just mares? It probably is quite a lot to deal with

In the meantime I wouldn't be leading her in a plain head collar and letting her go round in circles (it sounds like she has gone into full 'cob mode' which will likely just be a stress reaction) she'd be led in a bridle and not allowed to get ahead of me and I would be working on getting her attention to do some groundwork with me. Though I very much suspect she will be much improved in a few days time when she gets over the shock.

 

[Red-1]

Thank you so much. Unfortunately there’s a waiting list for a stable so she’s in a shared paddock with shelter over night then the yard turn her out into a field in the morning. She’s happy with the 3 other horses in the paddock and is pining for one of them who is in the lami field over the fence. The YO is experienced and there’s a few others around who could help. I’m in Nottinghamshire if there are any good trainers anyone could recommend.
I’m hoping to get her working as soon as I can but just need to get her confidence up (and mine!) to take her up to the school. It is a very busy livery with a riding school attached to it so really really not what she’s used to.

I can indeed recommend just the right trainer, would trust him with my own. Pete Daynes,

https://www.facebook.com/PeteDaynesEquestrian/

Patient, practical, helpful, good with big horses, teaching them not to be bolshy. A real confidence builder!

 

[Pearlsasinger]

She is a beautiful cob (could easily be related to mine!) and she is doing what cobs do, I'm afraid. I prefer to introduce horses over a fence/wall until they settle and not try to work them for a few days, or else you have too many battles on your hands. Always set yourself up to succeed.
She will settle but you do need someone experienced to help you. Definitely make sure that you wear a hat and gloves when you deal with any new horse and I would lead her down the same track again but in a bridle with someone at the other side of her to keep her straight and probably someone else behind her to keep her going. For the future, I wouldn't try to lead her in a headcollar but use an old-fashioned rope halter, you might have to experiment with different ropes to find the one she responds best to. Have a schooling whip to stop her charging forwards or turning round/planting.
Good luck and let us know how you get on!

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Ditto advice re. protective wear i.e. hat and gloves - and also, I would suggest, steel-capped-toe boots wouldn't come amiss. Keep yourself SAFE first and foremost.

Mares are often far more sensitive than geldings in a "big herd" situation like this; my horse was on working livery at equestrian college for a bit and it was always the mares that would take the longest to settle.

I would strongly urge you to seek professional help with this horse at the earliest stage; from the photo, it looks like she is a fairly heavily-built horse and the capacity for you hurting yourself is, I would suggest, quite high at the moment. Personally I would suggest someone of the "Intelligent Horsemanship" affiliation, as I've had help from someone who practiced this type of horsemanship when I was having problems with mine in the past.

Your mare sounds really unsettled and unhappy; I think if you do anything right now, you've got to (for your own safety) get help NOW before the situation gets any worse. You need to keep in your mind the lovely chilled horse that you went and tried, and liked enough to buy. That horse IS in there - somewhere - and you have to believe and keep telling yourself that you both WILL come through this and out the other side!

Alternatively......... IF, and I say if, your mare really isn't happy after a few weeks/months at this yard, and there's no signs of improvement, you may need to consider moving her to a smaller set-up, if this is where she was happy before. But for now, I'd persevere, if you are committed to keeping her at this yard, and get your professional in; that at least would give you something positive to aim for in the short-term rather than feel you are struggling all on your own.

Good luck!

 

[JFTDWS]

I’m hoping to get her working as soon as I can but just need to get her confidence up (and mine!) to take her up to the school. It is a very busy livery with a riding school attached to it so really really not what she’s used to.

There's been very sound advice on this thread already - largely that you should wear your hat and gloves, handle her in a halter or bridle, and (most of all) seek some professional help.

However, I would add that - in the nicest possible way - your confidence is irrelevant. You need to handle her like you have no worries at all - she needs to see you as her source of confidence and not a contributor to her fear. If you can't do that (or, as they say, fake it till you make it), that's what the professional help is for - because the sooner you sort her manners and get her doing "something", the easier she'll find it to settle into her new life and her new routine.

 

[buddylove]

Bless you, it's not fun but you will get there. My mare came from Ireland so I try to be very matter of fact about everything, however she can be a 🤬 on the ground and has spent more time than she should on her hind legs. She is led in a dually with a long rope, but the trick with her is not to let her get ahead, as she will then go to turn in front of you. I have had her since March and whilst she can be a bit joggy to lead, if she tries it on a quick "ah ah" normally puts her back in her box. Take heart, you will get there!

 

[Kellz]

Thank you so much everyone. I went back to her last night to find she’d sprung her boyfriend out of the lami paddock then spent the afternoon chasing and being chased by his herd! 🤦🏼‍♀️ I ended up in the YO doorstep in tears. She was awesome and lovely about it. Said all the same things, walk her in her bridle, have help and be strong and stern. Also, to use her boyfriend (incidentally our loan pony!) to help get her anywhere. It worked, and although rushed we got her back into the paddock reasonably painlessly. We then took the pony up to the school to ride. She stressed a bit and stomped for a while but calmed eventually. When we brought him back she was very happy but stood in front of the gate and made it hard to get in. I got bossy and pushed her back and she did exactly as she was told and showed her good manners are in there! Very proud of myself too! She then respnded to her name and came to us for the first time since she arrived. I left the yard a lot happier.
The YO is going to work with me tonight to get her up to the school and tie her up. Let her see what it’s like and hopefully give her a groom 🤞🏻
I can see the beautiful calm girl is in there it’s just letting her know it’s ok. Sorry for the waffle!