New Horse Novice Advice

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MM2017

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Would really appreciate any insights...
I have my first horse as an adult - a 17hh gelding/ warmblood/12 years old who has done a bit of everything. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by lots of supportive people on the yard. However, I am beginning to lose my confidence. Although we are having lessons together, he has taken to tanking off with me in the menage either in or out of lessons. It seems to be growing into a habit, and although I can turn him, I constantly worry that he is going to "go". This is a vicious circle as my anxiety is then picked up by him next time I ride and so on... He has had his teeth and back checked and all is in good shape. I do not believe that horses take the mickey on purpose, but also suspect that he does not respect me as much as he could and needs to. My confidence is knocked even more when some of the people on the yard say things like "you need to decide if he's the horse for you", "show him who's boss" or "you need a stronger bit in him" - it makes me question my and my instructors' judgment, who seem to have more confidence in me. The best case interpretation of these people on the yard is that they mean well, but it makes me over think the situation even more, and my nervousness is projected onto the poor horse and no doubt tension. When he goes well, he goes really well, but his napping can be unnerving. Some of me wonders if it's a respect problem, or if he just feels uncomfortable with me on his back. Not sure how to identify what it is to be able to correct it. I feel I need to first better my mindset, but easier said than done; know that I can stay on him when he naps; and keep going for now. This morning, for example, I could feel he was about to "go" and corrected it quickly, but then spent the rest of our schooling session slightly on edge that he'd go again, which held me back from pushing him as I'd like in case he exploded.
Any ideas??
 
Has your instructor ridden him for you to see if he does it for them?

Bit concerned that you overthink what your fellow yard members say as you will now get a lot of conflicting comments on here.

As someone who was scared of her horse for the first year I had him but have now owned him for 10 years, I know you can get there but I also believe that owning horses is meant to be fun (it's too expensive not to be).
 
Lacking confidence is a normal stage to go through with a new horse and "helpful" advice from other liveries who all have an opinion on what is best for you is also common, it is you and your instructor who know what is going on and need to make decisions as to what is best for you not other people even if their intentions are meant well.

My first thought is that is is unusual for a horse that is a suitable first horse to keep tanking off, most horses are lazy and struggling to get them moving is more often the issue, in my experience there are 3 reasons for tanking off, with a few variations,
1 they are running away from pain or fear, this can have numerous causes but in this case is unlikely as you have had him checked physically and it doesn't sound as if he is spooking then running off,
2 they run because the rider is confusing the in some way which is possible as you are inexperienced but unusual in a sensible horse of the right type for a novice, it must be considered and your instructor is best placed to see if your aids are the issue so she can help, it can be in part him not respecting you but this nearly always shows in them not moving rather than running off if there is no underlying problem, I have had far more novices unable to get going than struggling to stop although did have one that ran off a few times because when he had a spook the rider tipped forward and to the pony that meant go faster, a few lessons correcting her position has sorted it out and she now sits up when he occasionally shoots forward and can bring him back very quickly. So your position and how you deal with him starting to go needs looking at to ensure you are not inadvertently telling him to go or not asking him to stop correctly, a few extra lessons would help at this stage concentrating on the very basics of control, your seat, your confidence and getting some tools in the box so you start to feel you can deal with whatever he does, once you have more tools you should feel more confident that you can deal with him and the cycle starts to go in the right direction rather than the wrong one.

3 and possibly the main reason for fresh horses is he getting enough turnout, too much feed? the most obvious reason for a fresh horse is too much food, not enough work and spending too much time stabled, riding him if he is full of energy after being in all night may be part of the problem and a fairly easy one to change, ride after he has been out all day, cut back and feed and fill him up with hay and grass, ideally turn out 24/7 in the summer so he can chill, I know not all yards allow this, that many have very limited turn out and that if you are not on DIY it can be hard to control what gets fed but if the yard and or it's care does not suit the horse changes need to be made if you are going to be able to enjoy this horse, sitting on one that feels about to explode is no fun even for an experienced rider.

They are my suggestions, they should help you towards a solution and give you some ideas to get started.
 
NLP can help with confidence issues, where you get to think "good outcomes" rather than something bad. There are people around who teach this and sometimes it can be done over the phone.

At its most basic, I once read that people would put a sprig of Elderflower tree in their pocket when riding newly broken-in horses to keep them calm - obviously that was having an effect on the rider rather than the horse, but if it works, why not.

Otherwise, Be Positive has covered everything. Good luck.
 
I'm not surprised you are losing confidence if the horse is taking off with you in the manege, does he do this with your instructor? If he does, then he's probably not a suitable "first" horse. If he doesn't, then it is something about your partnership and with good help you can probably work through it but you do need the right trainer. I'd have an honest chat with your trainer, is your boy straightforward, why does she/he think he is taking off, what do you need to improve on to have control etc? FWIW I was struggling with my present horse but it was a new trainer that saw that I didn't have "control" and started to give me the tools I needed to be in charge, my old trainer was too focused on "keeping me safe" so I wasn't really making much progress. My horse wasn't naughty but he was forward going and quite powerful and my old trainer just focused on closing him down rather than getting me to improve my riding. IMHO making sure you have the right trainer is a important as making sure you have the right horse. BP's suggestions are also spot on.
 
These are all incredibly helpful responses, thank you so much.

To answer a few questions,

Yes he has tanked with my instructors present and they did not think too much of it (they are both really good and come recommended by lots of people). One was a reasonably fair spook - lots of things going on around the menage - he was particularly "alert" let's say and I could tell that it was going to happen and should have said something earlier. On that occasion we decided to use the energy and to keep him forward rather than trying to hold him back when he was obviously frightened (also a sign he doesn't trust me as a leader??). On another occasion, he just decided to do it at the end of the 45 minutes and it seemingly came from nowhere. That time, we gathered him back together, had a giggle about it, and did a little extra work.

When I am by myself, I focus on doing lots of transitions, and working him on lots of circles, so if he does go, I flex him and work him in a circle. Then bring him back to a trot/ walk or halt, and then focus on cantering him so that he lets some of the energy out.

In terms of feed and turn out, he is on full turn out. We have already had a think about his feed, and feel he's on a suitable amount.

Think Positive is definitely required as I know I am now making it worse with a poor attitude. And tension as when I tense up, he feels it.

He is considered a "school master" by my instructors, but is not an easy horse to ride. Sometimes he can be slow and a struggle to get him going, but I as I have lost my nerve, this is partly me trying to hold him back.Maybe this holding him back from being a natural horse then causes him to want to surge forward with a burst of energy because I'm trying to hold it all in.

I am torn between learning to ride something that is really going to stretch me and teach me, versus giving in and finding a happy hack - maybe the same thing will happen with that if I transfer my own worries onto the horse?! When I was younger I remember being told that I rode very nicely, but lacked the confidence that others had.

I also have not done any ground work with him, which I think is also perhaps a good idea...??
 
Sorry I meant, does he tank off if one of your instructors ride him? If they haven't sat on him, it might be worth getting them to. Is it still early days with your horse? It can take up to a year to get to know a horse and start to trust him and I know from my own experience how easy it is to pass tension on to the horse if you are feeling a bit nervous. It may be just a case of giving yourself a bit more time. When I first had my old TB (now deceased) he used to pick a spot in the arena and spook or spin, he didn't do it with my daughter who was a much more confident and skilled rider. Once I'd become more confident with him and ould work him correctly in an outline he never did it again. He taught lots of people to ride but his spook was always there if he thought he could get away with it!
 
MM2017 said:
LOL. No, it's just me :-) They ride him beautifully.
Click to expand...

Well that's good they can teach you to ride him. I always have a neckstrap and an acavello outside gel seat can help with keeping you in the saddle (also helps you to absorb movement if he's got bigger movement than you are used to) If you like him, and he's generally easy to do, I'd persevere. If I am totally honest all of my horses have been too much for me in the first year but basically safe and genuine and I have had to dig deep at times but it's always been worth it. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
 
My ID is difficult in the school and once did 25 laps in flat out canter
I hacked him out instead for a while, now we knew each other better. He is happy to hack on his own but still is a little nervous in the school
 
pop him on the lunge before you get on, that will help get rid of any excess energy and help overcome any anxiety from both of you. use a neck strap
 
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