New Livery yard owner - the stress!

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Calmandquietboy

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Hi everyone,

I’m writing this with a bit of a lump in my throat because I love my (new) livery yard on the east coast of Scotland more than anything… but lately it’s been really hard to keep my head up.

I have been running my place for 5 years now, poured everything into building it, and some days it feels like the horses are the only ones who understand how much I care. The people side of it is what’s breaking me down. I’m constantly sifting through the chaos, the drama, the unrealistic expectations, the sheer madness that some people bring with them. And the hardest part is watching owners make choices that I know aren’t right for their horses, and feeling this awful tug-of-war inside: do I stay in my lane because they’re paying clients, or do I step in because I can’t bear to see a horse’s welfare slip?
I hate that feeling. The guilt, the worry, the second-guessing myself.
And then there’s the part I don’t usually admit out loud: I’m only 30, and almost all my clients are older. No matter how much experience I actually have, sometimes I feel like I’m constantly having to prove myself, like I’m fighting for respect that should already be there.
I’m tired. I’m proud. I’m frustrated. I’m trying so hard not to let all of this crush the passion I have for these horses and this yard. I don’t want to give up, not even close, but I could really use some encouragement from people who understand what this life is like. Or just some reassurance that I’m not the only one who feels this way.
My yard is generally every quiet, lots of busy competing liveries who wish to just enjoy their horses. But we have had a really unlucky streak of liveries who seem to enjoy lying, spreading rumours and even stealing.
I request references, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.
 
Hmmm sounds as if it’s the time of year getting you down. What qualifications / experience do you have? It’s difficult setting up a livery yard especially if it’s not full livery. That’s much easier to manage as you have control as well as responsibility for employing staff. There are often basic rules you learn about as you gain more experience. Have you considered doing a business management course? Do your clients pay by direct debit monthly? How do you know the references provided are valid? The easiest way of checking is often to do a phone check. Sometimes you need to be firm and set out non negotiable terms. You’ll find the busy competition types will want a quiet life and the troublemakers will quickly removed themselves when things don’t go their way. Good luck sometimes finding a mentor can help.
Edited to add having looked at your previous posts l suspect you’ve not as much experience as some of your liveries. No reason why you can’t still run a yard but maybe look for help from some of your more experienced liveries and if you haven’t got any maybe have a rethink about the way you operate.
 
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Maybe take a look at the web sites of some livery yards - Google livery yard and pick a random area. Some will list the yard rules. Do they match yours? My daughter was on a big livery yard for the first eighteen months of new horse, and said the rules were strict, but fair. It was made clear to all new comers that the rules were non negotiable, they were there for everyone's benefit, and if they were reported to the yard manager for non compliance then they were at risk of being given two week's notice to leave.
 
do you have contracts? if not, bring them and make sure they cover the issues you are having. then when people break them kick them out. honestly, once the worst few are gone you will find everyone else steps in line.

can you afford to hire a yard manager for a while? someone experienced and absolutely no-nonsense who can sort things out? let them be the buffer for you and have the arguments if you aren't up for it. You can honestly get this sorted and have a much easier life by getting getting a contract and booting those that break the terms.

you are lucky that you have lots of lovely liveries, you will find they will have friends who will want to move to yard once the drama is gone! you can fill the yard with sane sound people and have a much easier life.
 
I feel your pain. It is not a job for the feint hearted and there is a reason why when people ask about opening a livery yard, the most common response is 'don't'!
A contract and LOTS of rules and being strict about them is key. It's the only way. It doesn't come easy but it is very necessary.
 
gallopingby said:
Hmmm sounds as if it’s the time of year getting you down. What qualifications / experience do you have? It’s difficult setting up a livery yard especially if it’s not full livery. That’s much easier to manage as you have control as well as responsibility for employing staff. There are often basic rules you learn about as you gain more experience. Have you considered doing a business management course? Do your clients pay by direct debit monthly? How do you know the references provided are valid? The easiest way of checking is often to do a phone check. Sometimes you need to be firm and set out non negotiable terms. You’ll find the busy competition types will want a quiet life and the troublemakers will quickly removed themselves when things don’t go their way. Good luck sometimes finding a mentor can help.
Edited to add having looked at your previous posts l suspect you’ve not as much experience as some of your liveries. No reason why you can’t still run a yard but maybe look for help from some of your more experienced liveries and if you haven’t got any maybe have a rethink about the way you operate.
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Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the advice.
My horse experience is mixed, but I have two excellent full-time staff members who have both managed full livery yards and worked as grooms for many years. I mainly handle night checks, administration, and cover yard duties when needed. Alongside helping my daughter with her horse.
I hold BHS Stages up to Stage 3 and I am an RVN. While my practical experience has been varied, I am very proactive in maintaining and improving the yard. Repairs are dealt with the same day, equipment is regularly upgraded, liveries have 24-hour access, and we provide stable cameras for owners. We also have clear contracts in place.
Our competition liveries are supportive and helpful with questions, and they keep healthy boundaries. The issues tend to come from the more difficult clients. When they do not get the reaction they want, they leave and often speak negatively afterwards.
As an example, during last winter’s haylage shortage we transitioned the yard to hay over four weeks. One livery’s COPD horse required steamed hay, so I purchased a steamer and bagged haylage. They still left and accused us of providing unsuitable forage.
I do not claim to know everything, and I regularly seek advice from professionals and experienced liveries. However, the recent run of challenging clients has been discouraging and is affecting my enjoyment of the work.
References anlways come from owners and Liveries of the yards they are moving from. So I’m unsure how valid they are. My clients pay through direct debit as everything is done online as it’s easier to account at the end of the financial year.
I’ll look into a business management course.
Again, thank you.
 
Calmandquietboy said:
Hi everyone,

I’m writing this with a bit of a lump in my throat because I love my (new) livery yard on the east coast of Scotland more than anything… but lately it’s been really hard to keep my head up.

I have been running my place for 5 years now, poured everything into building it, and some days it feels like the horses are the only ones who understand how much I care. The people side of it is what’s breaking me down. I’m constantly sifting through the chaos, the drama, the unrealistic expectations, the sheer madness that some people bring with them. And the hardest part is watching owners make choices that I know aren’t right for their horses, and feeling this awful tug-of-war inside: do I stay in my lane because they’re paying clients, or do I step in because I can’t bear to see a horse’s welfare slip?
I hate that feeling. The guilt, the worry, the second-guessing myself.
And then there’s the part I don’t usually admit out loud: I’m only 30, and almost all my clients are older. No matter how much experience I actually have, sometimes I feel like I’m constantly having to prove myself, like I’m fighting for respect that should already be there.
I’m tired. I’m proud. I’m frustrated. I’m trying so hard not to let all of this crush the passion I have for these horses and this yard. I don’t want to give up, not even close, but I could really use some encouragement from people who understand what this life is like. Or just some reassurance that I’m not the only one who feels this way.
My yard is generally every quiet, lots of busy competing liveries who wish to just enjoy their horses. But we have had a really unlucky streak of liveries who seem to enjoy lying, spreading rumours and even stealing.
I request references, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.
Click to expand...
Have a chat with your 25 year old self!
I started with an idea but virtually no experience, in the middle of a pandemic & all the social and financial chaos that went with it. And here I am still head above water & a yard full of mostly good customers. I never expected it to be a walk in the park & sure enough I need to make some tweeks.

I'd say be as hands off as you can about the actual horse management. You aren't there as a horse mentor, you are there as yard owner/manager so respect is due to you for smooth running of the place, you are not responsible for all the rest.
Have rules, make sure everyone knows them, enforce them every time so everyone knows they're not flexible. Follow up references. Have CCTV.

And well done.
👏
 
Highmileagecob said:
Maybe take a look at the web sites of some livery yards - Google livery yard and pick a random area. Some will list the yard rules. Do they match yours? My daughter was on a big livery yard for the first eighteen months of new horse, and said the rules were strict, but fair. It was made clear to all new comers that the rules were non negotiable, they were there for everyone's benefit, and if they were reported to the yard manager for non compliance then they were at risk of being given two week's notice to leave.
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We operate in the same fashion. The rules are strict. We have a 0 “bitching” policy, should we hear of anyone starting to do this I get to the root of it, warning is issued and if it doesn’t improve they are evicted. I spent a few years at a yard with lots of groups who spent their mucking out time being loudly disrespectful to others on purpose. I don’t stand for that.
I’ll have a look at some other yard websites for rules and see if I’m missing something.
 
Dino7 said:
I feel your pain. It is not a job for the feint hearted and there is a reason why when people ask about opening a livery yard, the most common response is 'don't'!
A contract and LOTS of rules and being strict about them is key. It's the only way. It doesn't come easy but it is very necessary.
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Most people told me “don’t” too.
However, my daughter’s interest and passion for the sport really sky rocketed and paying full livery elsewhere seemed so pointless when we had the land to have her mare at home. Fast forward a year of having unfortunate experience with full loan companions having to return to their owners who wanted their horse back to ride, we seeked out a few liveries. It snowballed from there.
I’ll keep standing my ground, but it’s another story when the trouble makers leave and have my yards name and staffs, in their mouths for no real reason. I could understand if the care was subpar and basic needs weren’t being met.
 
Goldie's mum said:
Have a chat with your 25 year old self!
I started with an idea but virtually no experience, in the middle of a pandemic & all the social and financial chaos that went with it. And here I am still head above water & a yard full of mostly good customers. I never expected it to be a walk in the park & sure enough I need to make some tweeks.

I'd say be as hands off as you can about the actual horse management. You aren't there as a horse mentor, you are there as yard owner/manager so respect is due to you for smooth running of the place, you are not responsible for all the rest.
Have rules, make sure everyone knows them, enforce them every time so everyone knows they're not flexible. Follow up references. Have CCTV.

And well done.
👏
Click to expand...
This really reassured me. As a RVN I am often met with watching owners make questionable decisions for their smaller pets and by profession we have to watch out for neglect but cannot control the smaller things. I’ll keep on keeping on being hands off with the rest.
Thank you again, this has been the most help.
 
Calmandquietboy said:
This really reassured me. As a RVN I am often met with watching owners make questionable decisions for their smaller pets and by profession we have to watch out for neglect but cannot control the smaller things. I’ll keep on keeping on being hands off with the rest.
Thank you again, this has been the most help.
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I cross-posted so hadn't seen you post no.6, so would add - you are in a small community, ignoring the bad-mouthers works well over time because they become known for doing it everywhere. Don't retaliate, let them work away at making their own reputation, in the long run they will not affect yours.
 
People are the most difficult part of the equation in any business. Lead by example with integrity. Be scrupulously fair but firm. If today is a no turn out day..stick to it. No exceptions. If someone was allowed to borrow the quad to poo pick ensure everyone who asks can ( these are plucked out of the air examples). Anyone who doesn’t pay their way or follow the rules set out in the contract move them on. It boils down to respect on both sides, yes liveries are paying customers and obviously are important but so are you as the provider of a service. Distance yourself emotionally. You are learning a lot, hang on in there as the experience you are gaining will make things easier..honestly.
 
NR88 said:
Is it a DIY yard?

Can you change to part or full, therefore removing the option to make poor welfare choices from your liveries?
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We are full livery only. We don’t have enough parking to allow 15+ people to arrive at 7am to muck out.
The poor welfare choices are for example, livery No.1 has just had her horses hocks medicated with steroids but she took her horse to a XC clinic the morning after. Unbeknownst until her return wondering why said horse was lame. Then the poor soul had to be on box rest at the hands of its owners poor decision. Things like that. But from reading this thread I think I just need to not be so emotionally invested.
 
YO here. Small DIY affair in Devon which is my home as well. Been going for 30yrs now. In the early days I certainly had to learn on the job as I don't have any special equine qualifications.

You betcha that I'm picky with who I have here as I live on-site; in all the time I've been running my little yard I've only ever had a small handful of really "bad" liveries........ and they didn't stay long.

It isn't easy running a yard - any yard. But I do not feel OP you need to feel intimidated because you say that "everyone is older than you". I think you are self-limiting yourself!!

Firstly: if not done so already, you need some Yard Rules. As someone else has suggested, good idea to have a look at some other yards, and see what they've got put in place; also their livery contracts.

It might be that you need to have a purge. YOU are the YO. And your word goes. Period. No exceptions. Sorry lovely but you are going to need to seriously Woman-Up if you are going to survive in this business. OK so my mother was a schoolteacher - and an old-fashioned one who taught "back in the day" at that. She always used to say that for the first week in a new school, she needed to be the proverbial Dragon, as in breathing fire & brimstone at even the most innocent "infringement" of discipline ...... and come down on it, in her terms, "like a ton of bricks". This would both be an example to the others, and a goodly reminder to the perpetrator, to seriously re-think their behaviour for the future. She said that after that, the teacher could afford to relax & chill a bit as the most difficult part was already done.

To some extent, I think that in setting up a yard you might need to take a leaf out of mum's book: you have obviously got a situation where (pardon me for saying it) but I think you are feeling a little overwhelmed?? NOW is the time to take the reins back, get the situation in hand again, and assert yourself as the Boss. Remember, as my father used to say, that you are running a business and not a charity. I would say you are running a yard and not a therapy group OK.

OK so when you issue a dictat, make it a firm one, and one which is not under any circumstances to be "interpreted" or contradicted. If people do take advantage, then take them aside and tell them straight out that you said what you said and meant people to take notice of it, and if they can't or won't then you regret that you will no longer be able to provide livery services for them. Be firm but fair. Never let yourself be backed into a corner: people will try. If you don't want to commit to a "yes" or "no" straight out, then say you "wish to think about it".

If you do encounter any confrontations, then make sure that you always have your phone with you and say to the person, look do you mind if we have a video record of this conversation for future reference (you MUST tell anyone you are videoing that you intend to do it). This may well be enough to discourage them from further conflict.

Also make sure that whatever you DO say, is backed up by writing. I'm talking about a notice on the tack-room board rather than a PM or email. Or a physical letter if the matter is serious.

You may need to give some of your current liveries notice: if you DO feel this is a route you need to explore, then go for the most problematic & vocal livery you have, call them aside, and say to them as politely as you can that you feel the time has come for them to look for alternative livery as they are patently not happy at your yard. Don't be intimidated by any reaction or "witches coven" forming because of it. Say to them, look, as a group, look I am sensing that as you are obviously not happy here may I suggest that you - as a group - consider setting yourselves up somewhere else, because I need this place to be a harmonious and pro-active yard and this can't happen if one particular group are obviously unhappy and are voicing their concerns. Say to them that you are sorry but you are left with no alternative but to give them notice. Sometimes you have to have a purge to get rid of the rotten apples.

Wishing you well. It isn't easy. There is a "livery yard owners" group on FB, I'm on it, as are a goodly number of other YO's. It's a really helpful group, hope to see you on there??
 
NR88 said:
Is it a DIY yard?

Can you change to part or full, therefore removing the option to make poor welfare choices from your liveries?
Click to expand...
We are full livery only. We don’t have enough parking to allow 15+ people to arrive at 7am to muck out.
The poor welfare choices are for example, livery No.1 has just had her horses hocks medicated with steroids but she took her horse to a XC clinic the morning after. Unbeknownst until her return wondering why said horse was lame. Then the poor soul had to be on box rest at the hands of its owners poor decision. Things like that. But from reading this thread I think I just need to not be so emotionally invested.
 
As a fellow Scottish full livery YO I know it can be stressful. As well has having clear rules in your contract make sure you have clear communication with all clients. Being consistent with everyone is essential so no one is in any way favoured. I would also make sure your staff are fully on board with your rules, with experience they will have also have gained their own opinions so make sure you are all on the same page. However, as well as being strict with the rules, make sure you're approachable, any issues can often be sorted with a chat.

One golden rule is not to allow yourself to be intimidated or pressured in to bending rules for one livery, you're better to lose a client than to give in to demands - you have rules/routines etc for the smooth, efficient running of the yard. A livery of mine was making lots of demands and threatening to leave if they weren't met, I said that was fine, was she handing in her notice? Her face was a picture and she rapidly back tracked, since then she hasn't put a foot out of line!

Unfortunately, you won't always agree with everything liveries do and sometimes you have to just remember that you don't own the horse. Occasionally, you have to content yourself with the knowledge that you are providing the service the client is paying for in terms of the care and welfare of the horse, if the owner decides to undertake an activity such as the xc clinic in your example unfortunately there isn't much you can do. If a livery is having a vet visit, I will often pop by as the vet is finishing up if the owner is there and casually enquire if there is any aftercare that we should be aware of which gives the vet an opportunity to repeat themselves.

I honestly wouldn't worry if previous clients spread gossip, as far as I am concerned I stand by the way my yard is run and people who have any reasonable knowledge in the area are quick to recommend us so we are usually full and any vacancies are quickly filled.
 
I am not a yard owner - on a very DIY yard with a 'hands off' farmer owner. Be wary of allowing friends of current liveries to move on. It can quickly upset the dynamic when the clique forms. Best advice I can offer is to have a waiting list that prospective liveries have to join. And then ask your current liveries in conversation what they know about the person, or do your own digging via social media. The trouble makers will get the best references for obvious reasons!
If you have long standing liveries who are happy to stay with you, then you are doing it right!
 
My Friend, who owns a 45 horse livery yard has two rules
don't interfere unless it is a real welfare issue - not just a matter of opinion
be equally horrible to everyone.

She has very few rules, but if she ever hears back biting/stirring gossip etc, she immediately faces up the instigator(s) - doesn't care what it's about - and says ' stop it now, once more and you're off'.
She holds this firmly. There is always a list of people wanting places but she always follows her gut when interviewing.....
 
don't worry about people bad mouthing the yard. people tend to be able to spot trouble makers who bitch about yards they have left, and you often find they have a known history of it, so people don't take them seriously. happy liveries will naturally get the word out that it's a happy yard now and networks like farriers/horse dentists/physios etc will know the real deal on what a yard is like and will give their impressions when they are asked. You can't control what people say when they leave so don't waste time on that.
 
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