New parent horse time advice

[tanira]

I'm a new parent and will be going back to work when baby is 1. I've got two ponies a youngster and a ridden pony. I'm wondering realistically how much time I'll get to ride next year and if its worth me putting my ridden pony in foal. The youngster will then be 4 so I could back her lightly while the other pony has a foal (who I'd want to keep). Looking for advice on what other people have done and how much time they've had. Full time job is full on and child will be at nursery.

 

[Upthecreek]

There are so many variables. Do you have support from your partner or parents/in laws to provide childcare so you can ride? How will you feel about leaving your little one at nursery full time and then spending more time away from them so you can ride? Do you keep your horses at home so won’t have to spend time travelling to get to them?

I had 3 kids very close together and kept my horses at home, but I didn’t work when they were little. I basically threw the children at my husband when he walked through the door from work and went to do the horses and he bathed them and put them to bed and had our dinner ready when I got home.

 

[HopOnTrot]

When we had one child I used to hand baby to husband and ride at the weekend. Now children are older I ride when they’re at school. I’m self employed so I have the flexibility but 6 hours of school is never enough time to get everything done!

 

[Red-1]

I only 'had' one foal. I made the mistake of doing it because I didn't have time to ride... I didn't find it less time consuming, sorting out a foal, than riding, TBH!

 

[9tails]

I don't have children but I've seen plenty of other liveries have children. In my experience, with the best will in the world and whether you have a helpful partner or not, the answer is none. Feed times, bed times, the baby is a bit colicky, the baby screams blue murder if mum leaves the room, baby is teething, mum can't tear herself away from the baby...

I don't think the added pressure of a pony in foal is a good one though.

 

[tanira]

They are at home, partner is great and will look after him if i want to ride, especially at night after bed time.

 

[lizziebell]

Sorry I can’t help on the main point of your post, but this is not a good enough reason to put a mare in foal even if good intentions are to keep the foal. Far far too many horses being bred indiscriminately.

 

[Caol Ila]

I'll preface this by saying I don't have kids, but I have friends who do. However, I have two horses, a youngster (turning 5 next month, backed, by me, last December) and a 13-year old. The youngster had a foal two years ago. Not planned. I sold him on weaning.

As I understand it, the OP has a new baby, less than a year old. She also has an unbacked 3-year old horse and a ridden horse. She is basically entertaining the idea that, in two years' time, she could have a freshly backed youngster, a foal, an older ridden horse, and a toddler, as well as a full time (non-horsey?) job. I am sure people somehow manage this, but it does not seem as if anyone could do it and, at the same time, be fully invested into producing their young horse or raising their kid or keeping the older ridden horse fit and active, all at the same time. My very vicarious experience of human children is that they don't become sigificantly less work once they can walk and start nursery. If anything, they seem like more work, up until they are about 17. Putting a mare in foal, thinking you don't have time to ride her now but that you will have time for three horses once your kid starts nursery/school, seems bonkers.

 

[gallopingby]

It depends on a number of things, assuming the set up at home makes looking after them relatively straightforward and you have a reason and use for the foal and will be able to cope with the actual foaling period ie waiting for weeks on end for it to arrive. ForWard planning can be good in terms of breeding ponies for your children to ride but you have to be well organised to hopefully have the right height pony/ horse at the right time. I had friends who managed a steady supply of ponies for their children, mine were always too small as the children grew faster than we‘d anticipated.

 

[shanti]

It depends on a lot of things, but, I have a full-time job, my youngest child is 17 (so pretty much self-sufficient and old enough to help me with chores) and a very supportive non-horsey husband and I barely have time to do more than a quick check and feed during the week. And mine are at home. One of mine is a youngster who needs way more than I can give him at the moment, so I am consider bringing in a trainer. I could not even imagine throwing foal into the mix!

 

[Abacus]

Some of the replies here seem harsh. I know someone who did exactly this - had a foal at the same time as having a baby, and it worked well - but she did have help. My concern here isn’t so much having a child and a foal, but that you say your job is full on, and what will happen with caring for both a pregnant mare / foal and your child.

I’m not going to comment as others have about whether you should breed from your mare, only you know if she is a good breeding prospect (at least she’s not lame, like many).

In my experience and others similar, I just kept riding - if you have a supportive partner it’s doable - as long as you are pragmatic about the times it doesn’t go to plan and your child needs you more. I didn’t ride every day, and had to accept it would be maybe 3 times a week, which is enough to keep your horse in work and ticking over. Even if you don’t manage much riding it’s probably easier than trying to look after a foal in amongst all the other demands on you.

Good luck. It’s not easy, but look forward to the day that baby is helping around the yard and riding the pony that you’ll have to get for him/her…

 

[Peglo]

I also do not have children but work full time with horses at home. I don’t know how I’d squeeze in a child around everything else (but also don’t really want to )
A foal sounds like an awful lot of work on top of everything else. In your shoes I would carry on riding your mare and when it comes to backing your youngster maybe get a share to help with your ridden horse giving you more time with the other one.

 

[moorhillhorses]

Having a foal can be timely too, scans, foal watch before being born, complications when they are born needing vets etc. I would put them out for a few years it will do them more good than harm

 

[PSD]

I had a youngster when my 2 children were young (5&2) and it was a nightmare I won’t lie. My partner is very supportive and I have a lot of help, but I just didn’t have the time to give a youngster justice, so I made the choice to sell.

When I was pregnant and my children were babies, I put my ridden mare on loan (I no longer have her) to be able to spend time with the kids. Also I didn’t work until the children started school and still struggled.

Your ridden horse won’t mind having time off, perhaps look into getting a loaner or sharer to help out?

 

[emilylou]

From experience, you will have time to ride one horse and do it well and look after your child and do it well, if you have a supportive partner. If you don't, or you're happy with two in light work, or a sharer then you could have two ridden horses in work and enough time for your child. Or focus on the horses and sideline the child, or leave the horses turned away and focus on the child. But I wouldn't add a 3rd horse, 3 horses is somehow double the work of two.
Your drive and perspective will change too, so don't underestimate that either

 

[Widgeon]

A foal sounds like an awful lot of work on top of everything else. In your shoes I would carry on riding your mare and when it comes to backing your youngster maybe get a share to help with your ridden horse giving you more time with the other one.

Agree with this....seems like the most sensible option. Otherwise (as @Caol Ila says) you will end up with a *huge* amount of work in a couple of years' time! I would just enjoy what time you can get with your ridden pony, and don't worry about the youngster for a while. It won't harm it to be backed late, if that's how life works out.

 

[dorsetladette]

I wouldn't recommend a foal on top of baby and then going back to work full time. with all the support in the world you'll feel guilty spending less and less time with baby (IMHO). You need to plan how to keep the plates spinning that you already have before adding anymore to the mix. Is your ridden pony/horse OK being ridden less? if so just keep plodding away doing what you can riding her when you can to keep you ticking over, if she needs more work then maybe get a sharer. Maybe turn the youngster away for a year to give you less pressure.

My horse (welsh stallion) went out on stud loan for 2 years when I had a young child and work as I couldn't fit everything in.

The other thing I wanted to mention, when I had my daughter my confidence plummeted, I suddenly became aware of all my responsibilities and the potential consequences of my actions/choices. I don't think I would of been confortable backing something myself when my daughter was small, even though I'd grown up breaking and schooling and was still doing so until I fell pregnant. You might not want to back your own youngster when the time comes, have a plan B in your back pocket just in case. Hormones are horrible and effect us in ways we never thought possible.

 

[SDMabel]

I think this totally depends on your set up and your baby ! Which the latter cannot be predicted.

I've got a rising two year old sprog, he was fab when smaller could park the pram outside of the school he would nap or just watch me ride around quite happily - ovbiously couldnt go hacking .

My partner is a farmer and my family do not live locally so I did 98% of the sprog care, i made it work and he adapted to yard life.

That being said he was a very laid back baby and wasnt colicky etc - however now hes 2 he doesnt want to sit in a pram and would rather be on the move so if anything its actually harder .. I am very lucky that we are on a small yard and my yard owner also has a young baby so is happy to keep an eye on him whilst i do ride.

I wouldnt say chucking a foal into the mix will be any less stressful

 

[Tarragon]

As a parent of 3 children, I wouldn't underestimate how time consuming it all is!
And I agree with the poster who says that it gets harder when the children are starting to walk and are on the move, and are not happy to be in a pram.
My 3 are now grown up and not at home, but I work full time and I have always said that I can keep one riding pony fit and one companion pony ticking over, and that is someone whose ponies are field kept and minimalist (i.e. not shod or rugged) I can look after 3 ponies, but do not have enough time to do any one of the justice. Add childcare, partner time, housework etc. into the mix and you would have to be super woman! Or have a support army at you disposal.
Don't get me wrong, I muddled through those early years (my three were born close together in a 5 year period) and the ponies were my escape from the children, my haven. This is probably why none of them showed any interest in riding, despite have 3 daughters!

 

[tanira]

Sorry I can’t help on the main point of your post, but this is not a good enough reason to put a mare in foal even if good intentions are to keep the foal. Far far too many horses being bred indiscriminately.

Thanks for your response, this isn't indescriminant breeding as I've wanted to breed a foal from her for a long while. She's got a brilliant temperament and is a great example of the breed. The foal would be for me to keep because of all the aforementioned and the pony getting older and me wanting something for when she retires. I understand your point though, but would either be putting her in foal now or later and I'm trying to decipher if now is the right time as I will be limited to how much I can ride next year.

 

[tanira]

Some of the replies here seem harsh. I know someone who did exactly this - had a foal at the same time as having a baby, and it worked well - but she did have help. My concern here isn’t so much having a child and a foal, but that you say your job is full on, and what will happen with caring for both a pregnant mare / foal and your child.

I’m not going to comment as others have about whether you should breed from your mare, only you know if she is a good breeding prospect (at least she’s not lame, like many).

In my experience and others similar, I just kept riding - if you have a supportive partner it’s doable - as long as you are pragmatic about the times it doesn’t go to plan and your child needs you more. I didn’t ride every day, and had to accept it would be maybe 3 times a week, which is enough to keep your horse in work and ticking over. Even if you don’t manage much riding it’s probably easier than trying to look after a foal in amongst all the other demands on you.

Good luck. It’s not easy, but look forward to the day that baby is helping around the yard and riding the pony that you’ll have to get for him/her…

Thanks for your response its useful

 

[Fransurrey]

If you're worried about finding time to ride post-baby, then will you have time for the foal? There are so many things that can go wrong and even when it goes right, you will end up with a toddler horse and baby. My friend did this accidentally (she wasn't planning a baby) and she said it was a nightmare and she didn't work! I'd seriously consider either loaning out the ridden pony from your yard or just turning them away and keeping at grass to take the stress off.

 

[tanira]

I think this totally depends on your set up and your baby ! Which the latter cannot be predicted.

I've got a rising two year old sprog, he was fab when smaller could park the pram outside of the school he would nap or just watch me ride around quite happily - ovbiously couldnt go hacking .

My partner is a farmer and my family do not live locally so I did 98% of the sprog care, i made it work and he adapted to yard life.

That being said he was a very laid back baby and wasnt colicky etc - however now hes 2 he doesnt want to sit in a pram and would rather be on the move so if anything its actually harder .. I am very lucky that we are on a small yard and my yard owner also has a young baby so is happy to keep an eye on him whilst i do ride.

I wouldnt say chucking a foal into the mix will be any less stressful

Thanks, yeah he was colicky when younger so wasn't a "sit next to the school and sleep" baby.... Still isn't I run out once he's gone to bed at night which is fine all the time it's summer.

 

[Snow Falcon]

I ended up pregnant at the same time as two of my mares! They foaled April, me September. At one point I had 6 ponies in 3 different places. No childcare back up and I gave up full time work to be a mum. It was hard work at times, no.1 child had reflux so getting out of the house was tricky. I sold the foals at 2yo's when I fell pregnant again. (And another foal too).

I suppose it will be easier for you having them at home. Don't underestimate how tired you could be nor if you have a 'needy' baby. As another poster mentionned, I lost some confidence backing youngsters as the 'what if' question made me anxious.

I cut down on both occasions rather than having more. Good luck whatever you decide

 

[tanira]

I ended up pregnant at the same time as two of my mares! They foaled April, me September. At one point I had 6 ponies in 3 different places. No childcare back up and I gave up full time work to be a mum. It was hard work at times, no.1 child had reflux so getting out of the house was tricky. I sold the foals at 2yo's when I fell pregnant again. (And another foal too).

I suppose it will be easier for you having them at home. Don't underestimate how tired you could be nor if you have a 'needy' baby. As another poster mentionned, I lost some confidence backing youngsters as the 'what if' question made me anxious.

I cut down on both occasions rather than having more. Good luck whatever you decide

Thanks, he was pretty refluxy so it's not been easy to leave the house. It's better now thankfully.