New pony problems

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Yogi Bear

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We started the painful search for a first pony back in April this year. It was proving rather difficult and I was struggling with missing out on decent ponies and ponies who weren’t as described, so I enlisted the help of a lady who helped to source ponies for commission.
We had an initial conversation and it seemed positive. Communication over the following few weeks was very slow, despite her having put out a wanted ad, which she had told me she’d had an overwhelming response too.

I put a bit of pressure on leading to the May half term as we wanted to view and she eventually organised 2 ponies for us to see. The first pony was totally unsuitable and after biting him in the stable when brushing and tacking up then rather spectacularly bucked my poor kid off - not quite the first ridden we were expecting. The second pony was then significantly too forward going (had pony raced in the April and is still for sale now).

The fall significantly knocked my boys confidence and it made the horse trying process incredibly hard as he was nervous of trying new horses.

We adjusted what we were looking for and came down to a bit for of a saintly first ridden, rather than a first ridden with potential for a second pony.

We found a pony that sounded like it could be suitable and went to view. She had been attending viewing and riding due to my son’s lack of confidence. When she rode the pony, the saddle was slipping and so she couldn’t do a huge amount. My son rode and had a walk and trot and all seemed well and the pony seemed quite sweet. Unfortunately due to the previous fall, he wasn’t confident enough to try a canter transition.
On enquiry, the owner said the canter transitions needed a little work, but that she went well off voice and an adult from the ground could usually get her into canter.

We ended up purchasing the pony as she seemed very sweet, had been bought for a little girl who had previously lost her confidence and largely as the lady who was helping us source the ponies said that the pony was a great little pony, would be fab with a few sessions with a small adult to tune up those canter transitions and would be worth significantly more in a different part of the country.

We got the pony home 3 weeks ago and it’s not going particularly smoothly. The pony just doesn’t seem to be at all what we wanted. She hacks fairly well off the lead, but is always quite stressy for the first 10 mins (we understand that - she is new and settling, but 3 weeks in we were hoping she’d start settling). We can ride her in the field, with lots of kicking and again a settling in period for the first 10 mins, but she is really quite unsettled in the school - stressy, tense and as a result quite un rideable. I know it’s all super new and we are making allowances for this, but we had hoped that as we were looking for a real confidence giver that she might have a slightly more settled outlook on life.

They said she would go on the lead rein for a younger sibling, she does, but does pull faces at the handler.

Our two main areas of concern - the canter just doesn’t really exist. It needs more than a tune up. She runs into canter like a newly backed 4 year old and she is just a lot more of a project than we really wanted.
Secondly, she’s been quite grumpy with the kids. She’s turned her bum on my little girl, put her ears back at my son and then today she put her ears back and lunged at him and caught his head with her teeth. He was simply walking past her in the field. He’s a super quiet child and it was completely unprovoked.

We have more grazing here than she was on, so she is being restricted. She is in more work than she was where she came from (she’s fat and obviously we want a pony we can ride).
Where she came from she was top dog. She isn’t here and seems to be exerting her dominance on the weakest links - ie. The kids.

I just don’t know what to do. Do we persevere and hope she comes good. Do we accept she isn’t what we wanted and sell on? If so, how?

My son was previously walking, trotting and cantering off the lead. He’s jumping 40cm courses and grids. The idea of getting his own pony was so that he could progress beyond this with a kind hand holding pony, but now he’s on and off the lead and can’t even get a canter.

I’ve gone back to the lady who helped us, who is very much putting the blame on me and my horse husbandry. She says it’s because I’m not riding the pony in company (she’s wasn’t where we bought from. It was a mum on foot so similar arrangement). She says it’s because the pony is unsettled. I agree this is partly the case, but I’m an experienced horse owner and the pony really is quite green. The small adult that I have had in to help me, agrees with me and certainly thinks we have a project on our hands.
She says it’s because I’m being negative and therefore not setting the pony up for success. I’m just being real? I am genuinely feeling a bit disappointed.

I’m sorry - this is a really long one. We fully appreciate how early it is and are being super understanding, but from years of experience, we can just see that the pony isn’t quite as established as we were expecting and is the sort of pony that can feel unsettled. We wanted a confidence giver. Any advice greatly appreciated.
 
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Have you checked all the tack to be sure it fits?

I'd start with the saddle fitter if you haven't already.

Did you do a pre-purchase exam on the pony before you bought her?

A kids' pony that lunges at or turns its bum to kids isn't ideal. Green is solveable (how old is it?) but the aggression would be worrying, especially with a kid' pony. Even if it's unsettled. That and the behaviour you describe in the arena would make me very suspicious that the pony is in pain somewhere.
 
I did have a vetting yes. They mentioned her teeth would need doing soon, so it is my intention to work through all of the standard checks. Teeth, physio, saddle etc - thanks for the nudge.
It’s the aggression that has really disappointed me. My little boy likes to be hands on. It’s an important part of his relationship with the pony. He doesn’t just want to ride.

She is 8. She was advertised as 9 and I didn’t pick that up until I had a copy of the passport for insurance.
 
Ozzy has been with us for 7 weeks but I still wouldn't say he is fully settled; I decided I'd reasonably allow up to three months, given his background.
He started biting (humans and horses) last month but this has now stopped completely - perhaps partly because OH was firm with him during groundwork when he bit and partly because he now has free access to forage, which we think was his biggest issue (he was very food aggressive).
Biting can be stopped - and I'd say it's absolutely essential for a child's pony. It may need some groundwork with an adult to get the message across, but it can be done.

However...

mariew said:
Hmm lunging and biting a child unprovoked in a field walking past? I would send back based on that tbh if you are able to. It's kind of different if it's a horse for a grown up and you are willing to work with them.
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I do agree with this. If you can send the pony back without too much of a problem it might be better to do so, given that your son doesn't want to ride (and tbh I'm not keen on trying to form a relationship with a biter!)

In summary...
if you can send back without too much bother, it might be best to do just that. The canter issue bothers me less than the biting given that this is a child's pony.

if returning the pony is problematic and you end up having to press on with the project, I would get all the usual checks done as you have planned, work to stop the biting and see if your son starts to feel more positive about the pony.
 
mariew said:
Hmm lunging and biting a child unprovoked in a field walking past? I would send back based on that tbh if you are able to. It's kind of different if it's a horse for a grown up and you are willing to work with them.
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I did wonder if this is an option on a privately purchased pony. I’ll have to do some research.
 
I don’t think this will be particularly helpful, sorry, but I wasn’t allowed to get my 1st pony until I was 12. We then spent 3 years looking for one. Even then, it didn’t go particularly well. My mum does significantly regret ever letting me near horses in the aftermath of all of this, and she’s always been a horsey person.

I think you’d be better off selling the pony to a suitable home/returning and sticking with your previous arrangement and waiting until your kid is mature enough and capable of handling a slight project pony. It sounded like a brilliant arrangement where your kids can learn well without the difficulty involved in having their own horse. Really, any horse that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg in today’s market will be a bit of a project, and hardly anything is completely as described.

If you really want to stick with the pony get a trainer out and work on the biting and cantering. Don’t expect anything of your pony and keep it on a day-by-day basis. I strongly suspect the aggression will resolve in time when the pony realises the kids aren’t a threat, and that you have clear boundaries. The companion mare I brought with my 1st pony was quite aggressive when we first got her. A year on, Saus is an absolute sweetheart, you wouldn’t think she’s the same horse.

My cob is still definitely in the settling in phase, and it’s been 3 months now.
 
I notice you say she’s on more grazing than before and is overweight - have you checked her feet for pulses? Is she shod? Sore feet can make ponies very grumpy - one of our pony’s was awful when his feet were sore. Our grass was richer than where he came from. He would turn his hind end on you in the stable, awkward/nappy to ride, def not wanting to canter. Sorted his feet, and the resulting ulcers, and he’s lovely and super to ride. He wouldn’t dream of turning his hind end on me now. He also would try and bite - because he was feeling miserable. I would pop a muzzle on, and restrict access to grass, give soaked hay if you can, which will help with weight Bonus is the muzzle will also prevent her biting and make sure an adult handles her for the time being. I would also do lots of groundwork with her yourself - walking over poles, transitions, lunging her etc. You are getting teeth sorted which is great and might help too, and you can talk to vet re weight and get them to check her feet. It would probably be worth getting saddle checked too. But I would seriously sort the weight first. And let you son know that she might be feeling unhappy which is why she’s so grumpy so he understands.

As for the woman who helped you find her, I’d not bother her again. When you are looking next time, contact the DC of your local pony club to see if they know of anything. I really think if you are an experienced owner, you should be able to trust your own judgement and shouldn’t need advice from a third party when buying. The only time I bought the “wrong” pony was when I listened to the advice of a “friend”. I have bought and loaned lots over the years (with DD doing pony club, me riding etc) Trust yourself because at the end of the day, you have to deal with the pony, not a third party.

With this pony you might find a sorting the weight and doing some consistent handling, she will be fine. But equally it’s fine to ansk to return her if you feel she’s a danger to your son, he comes first. I think we are all guilty of going through a phase of “yikes what have I bought!” When we get a new pony - we need to settle with the pony as much as they need to settle with us, especially those of us who are not pro’s but our horses are a hobby. Good luck and let us know how things go 🙂
 
Caol Ila said:
My understanding is that it isn't easy to send a privately purchased horse back. Not legally. A seller might choose to take a horse back if it's not working out at its new home, but they have no legal obligation to do so.
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This is also my understanding. Thank you
 
Sanversera said:
If my pony lunged at a child teeth bared it would get a swift hefty smack on the nose.
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I was just in front of him and she didn’t do it to me!
As she lunged at him and he jumped backwards anything I would have done would have sent the pony more in his direction.
Poor kid was shaking! It’s left me feeling a bit rubbish.
 
mustardsmum said:
I notice you say she’s on more grazing than before and is overweight - have you checked her feet for pulses? Is she shod? Sore feet can make ponies very grumpy - one of our pony’s was awful when his feet were sore. Our grass was richer than where he came from. He would turn his hind end on you in the stable, awkward/nappy to ride, def not wanting to canter. Sorted his feet, and the resulting ulcers, and he’s lovely and super to ride. He wouldn’t dream of turning his hind end on me now. He also would try and bite - because he was feeling miserable. I would pop a muzzle on, and restrict access to grass, give soaked hay if you can, which will help with weight Bonus is the muzzle will also prevent her biting and make sure an adult handles her for the time being. I would also do lots of groundwork with her yourself - walking over poles, transitions, lunging her etc. You are getting teeth sorted which is great and might help too, and you can talk to vet re weight and get them to check her feet. It would probably be worth getting saddle checked too. But I would seriously sort the weight first. And let you son know that she might be feeling unhappy which is why she’s so grumpy so he understands.

As for the woman who helped you find her, I’d not bother her again. When you are looking next time, contact the DC of your local pony club to see if they know of anything. I really think if you are an experienced owner, you should be able to trust your own judgement and shouldn’t need advice from a third party when buying. The only time I bought the “wrong” pony was when I listened to the advice of a “friend”. I have bought and loaned lots over the years (with DD doing pony club, me riding etc) Trust yourself because at the end of the day, you have to deal with the pony, not a third party.

With this pony you might find a sorting the weight and doing some consistent handling, she will be fine. But equally it’s fine to ansk to return her if you feel she’s a danger to your son, he comes first. I think we are all guilty of going through a phase of “yikes what have I bought!” When we get a new pony - we need to settle with the pony as much as they need to settle with us, especially those of us who are not pro’s but our horses are a hobby. Good luck and let us know how things go 🙂
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Thank you. I am heavily restricting her and using a muzzle for part of the day. Any hay is also soaked. I had wondered if it’s the muzzle or restriction that is making her grumpy 🤷‍♀️
My other horse here has EMS so as he is always restricted, the grass often doesn’t get eaten down much.
She is barefoot and doesn’t have any pulses, feet look good etc, but I can tell that she is feeling her feet a little on the gravel tracks out riding.
I was going to get her some boots as soon as she has had a trim (due next week) so it will be interesting to see what the farrier says and if we see any change.

Thanks for your thoughts
 
The pony doesn't sound suitable & the person you engaged to help doesn't seem to have a clue about what is a suitable child's pony. I don't have children myself but lots of my friends do, so I know a good first pony is essential for a childs confidence. Today just scrolling thru FB I've seen 2 up for sale as miss sold childs ponies. I would normally advocate settling in period but the pony bites/ lunges and isn't an enjoyable ride yes these things might be physical on the other hand they might not. A childs confidence/ enthusiasm is easily lost so personally I would see about returning or selling on.
 
irishdraft said:
The pony doesn't sound suitable & the person you engaged to help doesn't seem to have a clue about what is a suitable child's pony. I don't have children myself but lots of my friends do, so I know a good first pony is essential for a childs confidence. Today just scrolling thru FB I've seen 2 up for sale as miss sold childs ponies. I would normally advocate settling in period but the pony bites/ lunges and isn't an enjoyable ride yes these things might be physical on the other hand they might not. A childs confidence/ enthusiasm is easily lost so personally I would see about returning or selling on.
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I thought that by using someone to help me that I might not find myself in this situation.
I think she just thinks that I’m a neurotic horse owner expecting perfection. I’m very understanding of that fact that no horse is perfect.
 
Ditto Kaylum - though the old owners are under no legal obligation to have the pony back, if she was well loved by them they may feel a moral obligation to have her back. I'd speak to them and let them know of the problems you're having and see if they either want to buy her back or can provide advice to help you overcome these issues. Good luck and I hope your son isn't too upset - it must be hard for him to want to love his new pony and have her trying to bite him instead 😕
 
Kaylum said:
What's the old owners say? I would contact them ASAP and say you are having problems. They might be able to give you some advice.
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She just said that they had never encountered that behaviour.
They suggested having him ride on the lunge until they were both settled.
Suggested it might be the move and different pasture.
I haven’t actually raised the incident this morning.
 
We bought my daughter’s pony from a RS and she was horrible in the stable, I couldn’t catch her and she also booted me in the knee at one point. But actually, she settled down with consistent adult handing, she will nibble when led but doesn’t bite aggressively. I don’t let the kids groom her loose in the stable but she’s settled with a haynet on the yard she’s fine. She’s been the ideal LR/FR. The only other issue we had was cantering but once daughter was old enough to sit, apply correct leg aids she will canter.

I’m (just about) light enough to ride her so I trialed her in the school and out hacking so I knew she’d come good. Could you find a lightweight adult to try her out?
 
Yogi Bear said:
I was just in front of him and she didn’t do it to me!
As she lunged at him and he jumped backwards anything I would have done would have sent the pony more in his direction.
Poor kid was shaking! It’s left me feeling a bit rubbish.
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I’m very sorry, this isn’t a suitable children’s pony - full stop.
The pony does not currently (and may never) know the boundaries between humans and horses, never mind very small and vulnerable humans.
Some owners tolerate biting, and on their heads be it, but this your child exposed to physical harm.
Try researching the strength of a horse bite, some of the injuries which have been inflicted, when the animal is just being ‘playful’.
A possible silver lining: she might save you an absolute fortune because your son goes right off ponies for good.
 
Aggression is usually pain or insecurity/anxiousness.

Let’s start with what might hurt. Given the aggression aimed at the rider/weaker herd member I would guess something does.

1) Saddle. You have told us the one at the viewing didn’t fit but not what you are riding in now. Have you/physio/vet checked pony’s back to see what damage the original saddle did?
2) Teeth. You were told they need doing. Can you ring the vet and get them to come out this week (usually quicker than dentist)?
3) Bit/bridle. Do they fit? Any sharp edges on bit? Browband too tight? How steady are the child’s hands?

Beyond that you have generic issues. Vetting was recent or I would be concerned that pony is ok on hard surfaces but not on soft. Is the arena deep? Is it waxed? Both of those options would be uncomfortable for a pony.

Then anxiety - is the arena out of sight of others but the field isn’t?

I would usually put my money on saddle fit (or historic saddle fit causing current anxiety/pain from still healing damage). But you already have known dental issues so that is a problem too.

Ponies are prey animals. Aggression is a last resort. It is them shouting as loudly as they can that something is wrong.
 
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This is one of the few occasions when I say either try and send the pony back or send it to a pro who rides and handles small ponies to asses it.
I in the past have been a bargain basement buyer, so I will often put up with handling issues that I can manage if it's safe for the child to ride and does the job, but you are fighting on two fronts.
One of the ponies we bought back as an old pony had developed defensive aggression, ears back bum to you because I think he needed to know he wasn't going to be mauled, or hit. He had become grumpy and decided offence was better than defence, but once he was in a routine settled in to being fine to handle, tack up and ride.
You have an extra problem if its a mare, because mares can be like grumpy teenage girls trying to be top dog.
Its often difficult to get first ponies to canter because if the rider is unbalanced the pony doesn't get the message or may have learned from past experience that if the rider falls off they will get a wallop. This is where and adult rider can sort out any not understanding the aids, and teach transitions.

In the short term I would stop your son riding it and make sure only adults handle the pony, calmly but firmly, and when your children are any where near the pony make sure there is an adult in charge. Our first ridden would bully my daughters by pulling faces and putting his ears back if they went to catch him, but would never do it to an adult.

I would always recommend people buy first ridden through PC or pay the extra for a pony that is competing even at low level, so you see at a PC rally or a show, and asses the rider that is presently riding it. If its being outgrown it will go better for that child, and you should way up if you have time and the child has the commitment to get to that level. It can be the most moth eaten nag, but it puts up with a unstable rider stands to be fiddled with, it gets a pass from me.
Our best PC pony who you could put anyone on, would bite hard enough to draw blood, hated being messed with, but at 14.2 my then eight year old could ride him in the show ring.
 
Yogi Bear said:
We started the painful search for a first pony back in April this year. It was proving rather difficult and I was struggling with missing out on decent ponies and ponies who weren’t as described, so I enlisted the help of a lady who helped to source ponies for commission.
We had an initial conversation and it seemed positive. Communication over the following few weeks was very slow, despite her having put out a wanted ad, which she had told me she’d had an overwhelming response too.

I put a bit of pressure on leading to the May half term as we wanted to view and she eventually organised 2 ponies for us to see. The first pony was totally unsuitable and after biting him in the stable when brushing and tacking up then rather spectacularly bucked my poor kid off - not quite the first ridden we were expecting. The second pony was then significantly too forward going (had pony raced in the April and is still for sale now).

The fall significantly knocked my boys confidence and it made the horse trying process incredibly hard as he was nervous of trying new horses.

We adjusted what we were looking for and came down to a bit for of a saintly first ridden, rather than a first ridden with potential for a second pony.

We found a pony that sounded like it could be suitable and went to view. She had been attending viewing and riding due to my son’s lack of confidence. When she rode the pony, the saddle was slipping and so she couldn’t do a huge amount. My son rode and had a walk and trot and all seemed well and the pony seemed quite sweet. Unfortunately due to the previous fall, he wasn’t confident enough to try a canter transition.
On enquiry, the owner said the canter transitions needed a little work, but that she went well off voice and an adult from the ground could usually get her into canter.

We ended up purchasing the pony as she seemed very sweet, had been bought for a little girl who had previously lost her confidence and largely as the lady who was helping us source the ponies said that the pony was a great little pony, would be fab with a few sessions with a small adult to tune up those canter transitions and would be worth significantly more in a different part of the country.

We got the pony home 3 weeks ago and it’s not going particularly smoothly. The pony just doesn’t seem to be at all what we wanted. She hacks fairly well off the lead, but is always quite stressy for the first 10 mins (we understand that - she is new and settling, but 3 weeks in we were hoping she’d start settling). We can ride her in the field, with lots of kicking and again a settling in period for the first 10 mins, but she is really quite unsettled in the school - stressy, tense and as a result quite un rideable. I know it’s all super new and we are making allowances for this, but we had hoped that as we were looking for a real confidence giver that she might have a slightly more settled outlook on life.

They said she would go on the lead rein for a younger sibling, she does, but does pull faces at the handler.

Our two main areas of concern - the canter just doesn’t really exist. It needs more than a tune up. She runs into canter like a newly backed 4 year old and she is just a lot more of a project than we really wanted.
Secondly, she’s been quite grumpy with the kids. She’s turned her bum on my little girl, put her ears back at my son and then today she put her ears back and lunged at him and caught his head with her teeth. He was simply walking past her in the field. He’s a super quiet child and it was completely unprovoked.

We have more grazing here than she was on, so she is being restricted. She is in more work than she was where she came from (she’s fat and obviously we want a pony we can ride).
Where she came from she was top dog. She isn’t here and seems to be exerting her dominance on the weakest links - ie. The kids.

I just don’t know what to do. Do we persevere and hope she comes good. Do we accept she isn’t what we wanted and sell on? If so, how?

My son was previously walking, trotting and cantering off the lead. He’s jumping 40cm courses and grids. The idea of getting his own pony was so that he could progress beyond this with a kind hand holding pony, but now he’s on and off the lead and can’t even get a canter.

I’ve gone back to the lady who helped us, who is very much putting the blame on me and my horse husbandry. She says it’s because I’m not riding the pony in company (she’s wasn’t where we bought from. It was a mum on foot so similar arrangement). She says it’s because the pony is unsettled. I agree this is partly the case, but I’m an experienced horse owner and the pony really is quite green. The small adult that I have had in to help me, agrees with me and certainly thinks we have a project on our hands.
She says it’s because I’m being negative and therefore not setting the pony up for success. I’m just being real? I am genuinely feeling a bit disappointed.

I’m sorry - this is a really long one. We fully appreciate how early it is and are being super understanding, but from years of experience, we can just see that the pony isn’t quite as established as we were expecting and is the sort of pony that can feel unsettled. We wanted a confidence giver. Any advice greatly appreciated.
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I don t really understand why this pony was thought to be suitable. I'd be looking for a pony that had lots of pictures and rosettes and videos of jumping x-poles, and 50 and 60cm. Of children sitting on her in the field and hugging her and doing child /pony.inhand classes - all that sort of things. Postings on FB and instragram. Pony Club results and photos. Was there any of that sort of history with this pony?
 
I’d be interested in know which horse finder you used as your experience sounds similar to mine, and a friend who actually has started legal proceedings against her.
 
Darcey69 said:
I don t really understand why this pony was thought to be suitable. I'd be looking for a pony that had lots of pictures and rosettes and videos of jumping x-poles, and 50 and 60cm. Of children sitting on her in the field and hugging her and doing child /pony.inhand classes - all that sort of things. Postings on FB and instragram. Pony Club results and photos. Was there any of that sort of history with this pony?
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Was the pony cheap? One’s such as detailed above will command a decent amount nowadays…pony buying and selling is very different to horses unfortunately so I can understand how OP has struggled in their search! And there are a shocking number of sellers who are happily selling ponies which are totally unsuitable as kids ponies…it’s a minefield!

I would sell this pony on with full disclosure …or send to a decent sales livery who can do it for you. You’ll struggle to show him to potential buyers if your son isn’t riding him…and I really suggest he doesn’t from now on if his confidence has been low. We had a similar experience trying a pony which was apparently suitable for a child which took off with my daughter during the viewing so I can relate!

It’s worth having a word with your pony club DC but in my experience the good ones have a list of families waiting for them within the club and they rarely get sold outwith the club membership…sadly it’s not that easy.

Good luck I do feel for you, we’ve done the search 3 times for various stages of kids pony and it’s an absolute nightmare!!
 
Fizzandfun said:
I’d be interested in know which horse finder you used as your experience sounds similar to mine, and a friend who actually has started legal proceedings against her.
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Yes, there’s one I actually used who took us to a notorious traveller site in Bedfordshire 🤦‍♀️

She was already on benefit of the doubt at that point, having taken us to see a “completely confidence-giving perfect PC pony” that was crazy as a box of frogs, and chucked off a pro rider in short order. I felt awful about that one and almost considered a pity-purchase, but at that point, I was very inexperienced.

Anyway, suffice to say, I see no point in horse agents nowadays.
 
Some advice we were given by a horse dealer friend - never try ride a child's pony if it is hungry.

But I would agree that if the pony has frightened your son but lunging and biting at him you would certainly be wise to consider sending it back.
 
where was she the other time when she tried to bite your son? Is it when she’s in ‘her space’ I.e field/stable.
We have a little 12hh mare that can be grumpy, she is great with me in the stable I can muck out round her and fuss her but I don’t let the kids in the stable where her as she will pull faces and put her ears back and threaten to bite them if they’re in her stable, however tied up on the yard with a haynet she is good as gold and will stand and let them groom and bath her.
She is fantastic to ride though, and is the perfect 1st pony in that respect so her grumpiness in the stable I’m not fussed about as they’re not all perfect.
if the pony hasn’t done much off lead rein then it’s completely plausible that her canter is green so could be worked on. Maybe just not the pony for your son right now with his lack of confidence.
 
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