New pony with onr already on a difficult loan.... HELP!!!!!

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Savvykid

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I'm not a new owner, have had horses since I was 3. But I currently have an 11'2 mare on loan, who I absolutely adore!!! My only problem is the owner. She doesn't clean the stable, rarely picks the fields and decided to trim the feet herself making for the pony's feet to be at an angle too high. I feel like she has been taking advantage of me, because she knows I will pay for anything to do with the pony, because of how much she means to me. I also know, she only plays with them once a week. I've slowly become more and more stressed out over her treatment of myself and the ponies. I love the pony more than anything in the world, but think it's time to move on. I've decided to adopt a Shetland from the blue cross. The only difference in this loan would mean I couldn't ride the Shetland. I am hoping that the owner of the Dartmoor will allow me to continue the ponies education, because the owner is too big for the pony to carry. I need some advice as to what I do in this situation, because even though I love the little pony I have on loan now, I've recently been diagnosed with depression, stemming from 3 years of this treatment, that is constantly questioning my ethics and morals. Does anyone have any idea's how I can handle the situation? THANKS!! :)
 
Thank you! Your advice is really appreciated! I think it makes more sense when someone else, who isn't involved in the situation gives advice! :)
 
It'll be hard for you to leave the little pony you're attached to, but I think it's for the best... especially if the owner is causing you that much distress :(

Good luck with the Blue Cross pony, make sure you provide us with lots of piccies when you get it! :)
 
Hnmisty, thank you! It's refreshing to hear someone who appreciates how difficult it will be for me to leave the little pony! I know at the end of the day, if my health isn't 100%, then it's not fair on my equestrians! :(
 
I think the above posters are totally right, you do need to move on from the current loan pony. BUT please, only take responsibility for what your responsibile for. That includes not allowing yourself to feel guilty for the pony. I obv. dont know the woman who owns it, but i wouldn't be surprised if she trys to make you feel bad about returning it. Lets face it your doing all the work for her atm. Also depression has a habit of making us pull ourselves apart if we feel like we're not 100% sure of something. So be prepared for a few low days but turn them into positives by reminding yourself what your going to have in the near future. Which will be your own horse that you can have indefinatly, you'll be able to ride and have 100% control over. Happy days all round :)
 
Is there another horsey person around in your area who could stand with you and support you in this? Coz sometimes just having someone physically around as a sounding board helps a lot.

Seems to me, like others have said, is that this person who owns the pony is a very dominant force in your life right now and has been for some time? And she seems to be making you feel bad via the pony and probably if you begin to stand up to her, like all bullies she'll try to make you cave in.

Of course you're very fond of this little pony; but it maybe that you have to say to her that IF you're going to do the work, then you need to be left in peace to do it, and not be interfered with, OR you will return the pony to her and SHE can deal with it herself.

Know its hard....... but I can't help thinking that whilst you're very very fond of this little pony and will obviously miss it, you need to have something for YOU rather than something which is somebody else's and they can interfere with.

I think that once you get "your" own pony (as it were) from the Blue Cross, or wherever, it will become YOURS and then it will be far easier to let go of the pony you have now. AND get rid of its owner too....... coz she doesn't exactly sound a helpful influence for you TBH. Whatta pain in the neck!
 
If i loved a pony that much it wouldnt worry me that i had to do more mucking out and poo picking to make up for what the owner doesnt do. As far as the trimming of the feet, ask can we get a farrier to check the feet are correct, i trim myself, but the farrier comes out every 6 weeks to check i am doing the job correctly and fixing any small errors i might make. Poor pony wonder what will happen to it if you walk away.
 
Savvykid said:
I'm not a new owner, have had horses since I was 3. But I currently have an 11'2 mare on loan, who I absolutely adore!!! My only problem is the owner. She doesn't clean the stable, rarely picks the fields and decided to trim the feet herself making for the pony's feet to be at an angle too high. I feel like she has been taking advantage of me, because she knows I will pay for anything to do with the pony, because of how much she means to me. I also know, she only plays with them once a week. I've slowly become more and more stressed out over her treatment of myself and the ponies. I love the pony more than anything in the world, but think it's time to move on. I've decided to adopt a Shetland from the blue cross. The only difference in this loan would mean I couldn't ride the Shetland. I am hoping that the owner of the Dartmoor will allow me to continue the ponies education, because the owner is too big for the pony to carry. I need some advice as to what I do in this situation, because even though I love the little pony I have on loan now, I've recently been diagnosed with depression, stemming from 3 years of this treatment, that is constantly questioning my ethics and morals. Does anyone have any idea's how I can handle the situation? THANKS!! :)
Click to expand...

Is there anyway you could convince her to let you have the pony on loan somewhere else or perhaps mention you are looking at buying for yourself, perhaps she will offer you the pony and you could come to some arrangement? With winter coming it may be an attractive idea to the owner.
 
putasocinit said:
If i loved a pony that much it wouldnt worry me that i had to do more mucking out and poo picking to make up for what the owner doesnt do. As far as the trimming of the feet, ask can we get a farrier to check the feet are correct, i trim myself, but the farrier comes out every 6 weeks to check i am doing the job correctly and fixing any small errors i might make. Poor pony wonder what will happen to it if you walk away.
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^Not a helpful reply.

The OP doesn't sound to be lacking in motivation to look after the pony but rather the feeling of constantly being taken advantage of is upsetting her and contributing to her depression. My advice would be to first of all talk to the owner and establish who does what in terms of stable duties on a daily basis. If you're not happy to take on full care of the pony (i.e. all of the mucking out and poo picking everyday) then you need to be prepared to end the loan if the owner wants a loanee to do all of that. If you have concerns about how her feet are trimmed then ask her why she trims them how she does. If you're still not happy then again you have to accept that the owner calls the shots and you have to go along with it (unless there is a serious welfare issue, of course).

There's nothing to suggest that the "poor pony" would be neglected in any way if the OP were to walk away (the owner might not "play" with the ponies much but that doesn't mean it's basic needs won't be met) so that final throwaway comment was simply cruel and insensitive given the tone of the OP's post.

Why not take on a pony from the Blue Cross who can be ridden as someone else has suggested? It sounds as though you'd be best cutting all ties with the original owner.
 
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