Non horsey friend planning on buying horse, advice please?

[alfielola05]

my completely non horsey (has never even had a riding lesson) friend has decided that she is going to buy a horse which she plans on keeping at the same yard as me. She has suggested that i can teach her everything, eeeks!! Does anyone have any idea on how i can tactfully explain what a terrible idea it is or what i could suggest she tries first? im terrible at confrontation and was so gobsmacked that i just said oh right. Any ideas gratefully recieved xx

 

[ThePony]

I would go in friendly not eeek - just say you'll look forward to having her company at the yard, but that it would take mega hours to show her about horse ownership. Perhaps suggest she starts with some lessons at a local riding school - they will help her hone any ideas about what sort of horse she is after. If she finds one where she can help muck out/tack up/groom/clean tack etc then it will give her a good idea of what is involved and if it is something she wants to take further.
Depending on how much involvement you feel happy with (and how trustworthy your friend is and what your horse is like) maybe you could suggest your friend does your horse one day a week? Would also give a good idea about what is involved before she takes the plunge?

What ever you decide I wouldn't go negative on her, we were all there once and most of us have been lucky enough to have been taken under someones wing and shown the way!

 

[alfielola05]

thank you very much and your right, i dont want to be negative, it wouldnt be fair to put her off I was just very shocked and want to convey what a commitment it will be. Ive quite a sharp four year old that isnt really suitable for novices (and im very precious about her, haha) or else i would let her take over for a day. I think i will go down the route of tactfully suggesting she go for regular lessons beforehand, thank you!

 

[sophiebailey]

Perhaps suggest lessons and then if she's still up for it, sharing\part loaning to get used to how much time she'll need to spend and how much hard work they are? If she's STILL keen then fab!!

 

[hudsonw]

Perhaps see if she want's to shadow you for a week...do everything from the early mornings, late nights, weekends and while you do your chores point out how much everything costs as i bet she doesn't have a clue how much time and money they take up.
See how she handles a horse on the ground and ask her what she expects to get from her horse...does she want to hack etc but if she just wants a pet then suggest she buys a companion horse.
Suggest she does a stable management course at your local college...you could do it together?
At least get her to have a couple of lessons and see if she likes riding?

 

[alfielola05]

thank you everyone for your responses, i feel much better about handling this now

 

[Mare Stare]

Perhaps see if she want's to shadow you for a week...do everything from the early mornings, late nights, weekends and while you do your chores point out how much everything costs as i bet she doesn't have a clue how much time and money they take up.
See how she handles a horse on the ground and ask her what she expects to get from her horse...does she want to hack etc but if she just wants a pet then suggest she buys a companion horse.
Suggest she does a stable management course at your local college...you could do it together?
At least get her to have a couple of lessons and see if she likes riding?

^ This

I remember going back to horses after a 10 year gap. I enrolled on a BHS course and was suddenly confronted by having to help look after big horses up to 17hh! I remember standing on the yard thinking 'OMG what have I signed myself up for?!!' The last time I had dealt with horses had been an hour's riding lesson every weekend on ponies I didn't even need to tack up.

Once she sees the not-so-fluffy side she msy change her mind. Or she may like it. But at least she'll have the experience to know if it's for her.

 

[Hedgewitch13]

I would also note down every single cost that goes with horse owning. Livery, feed, shoes, worming, annual jabs, any extra vet fees, proper lessons (I'm not saying you aren't capable!) etc, etc. That may well put her off too

 

[TGM]

I'd direct her to this forum, and point out to her a few of the disaster stories on here, which even happen to people who do know what they are doing! Then she might realise that horse-owning is not all pony patting and carrot-crunching! If she is really determined then will show her how much she has to learn - if she is just on a whim of fancy then should put her off completely!

 

[Shantara]

I've had some none-horsey friends ask me if I can teach them to ride. Haha, no! I wouldn't even feel confident to take them out on a lead rein in the school. The furthest I've pushed it is taking my mum out on the old plod, but she used to ride a great deal as a child and up untill she was pregnant with me.

I can't really give advise (At least nothing better that's already been given!) Good luck

 

[Carefreegirl]

Move yards, house and change your phone number !

 

[SaharaS]

I would also note down every single cost that goes with horse owning. Livery, feed, shoes, worming, annual jabs, any extra vet fees, proper lessons (I'm not saying you aren't capable!) etc, etc. That may well put her off too

^^^ This...and randomly leave vet bills lying around...and mention the early morning thing...and christmas day oh and make her come on here so she can observe...if she wants to learn & you don't want to go in negative, I suggest wake her up frequently at 530 am & ask if she wants to come help you doing random odd horsey tasks...throw her in at the deep end with information overload Seriously, going in negative, despite the fact that it sounds a mad/foolish thing to just buy one, may do just the opposite whereas the realisation of the commitment may just knock the message home...wish you both the best of luck....

 

[alfielola05]

Move yards, house and change your phone number !

haha, brilliant!! crossed my mind to be fair, but she is also my boss at work so im snookered!!!

 

[alfielola05]

^^^ This...and randomly leave vet bills lying around...and mention the early morning thing...and christmas day oh and make her come on here so she can observe...if she wants to learn & you don't want to go in negative, I suggest wake her up frequently at 530 am & ask if she wants to come help you doing random odd horsey tasks...throw her in at the deep end with information overload Seriously, going in negative, despite the fact that it sounds a mad/foolish thing to just buy one, may do just the opposite whereas the realisation of the commitment may just knock the message home...wish you both the best of luck....

Great ideas!! particularly like your information overload thoughts, hehe, i keep my horsey chat in check most of the time because i realise that non horsey people dont find it as enthralling as me, might just start ranting on in great detail, see how she likes those apples

 

[Carefreegirl]

Go into work straight from mucking out, turning out etc and in your worse yard clothes. If the dirt, smell and look doesn't put her off then she deserves a pat on the back and all the encouragement you can give her.

 

[DH1]

Buying a horse is usually the easy bit
I always think that realistically owning a horse is a combination of 90% sheer hard physical hard work, expense, worry, freezing half to death in Winter and sweating buckets in Summer, and we do all this in exchange for 10% absolute joy and fun.
It's such a commitment and it would be great if she could experience this reality first hand.
Over the years my Son has grown up and has become independent and capable of taking responsibility/care of himself, this does not appear to be likewise for my horse

 

[SaharaS]

Buying a horse is usually the easy bit
I always think that realistically owning a horse is a combination of 90% sheer hard physical hard work, expense, worry, freezing half to death in Winter and sweating buckets in Summer, and we do all this in exchange for 10% absolute joy and fun.
It's such a commitment and it would be great if she could experience this reality first hand.
Over the years my Son has grown up and has become independent and capable of taking responsibility/care of himself, this does not appear to be likewise for my horse

Exactly....tho I think it is legal to keep your horse in a stable...but not sure about children...hey does anyone think I could give supernanny a run for her money? just think of all the cake we could buy with the profits!

 

[mulledwhine]

We had a lady come to the riding school with her daughter. The mother had no experience of horses at all, but wanted to buy a pony for her child.


We gently advised her to take a couple if horse care courses ( ideally in the winter ) to see if she still thought it was something she could take on....

This was a few years ago and she has decided that after doing the courses that it is not for her.

So just go in gently and she may or may not choose to gain some knowledge before hand

 

[Luci07]

The money is probably the best thing. Create a spreadsheet showing all the start up costs, then monthly costs. Factor in the cost of holiday cover too. Once you have picked yourself up of the floor you can give her this.

Or have her over for a lazy boozy lunch

Then make her come down to the yard to put yours away, having not prepped evening chores either. One of my friends still hasn't forgiven me for doing just that to him when he was nagging me to let him have a lesson on my horse. The clincher was asking him to get my mud monster out of the field, knowing he didn't have any wellies !