non horsey partners will they change

Course they can change.

First hubby totally non-horsey and scared, but when I bought a 3yo to back and sell, he helped out as much as he could (I was working with horses) and eventually we bought him one, after a few lessons on mine...who we never sold. That one didn't work out, but we then rescued a Section D who we broke to harness and was essentially Hubby's pony. Then marriage didn't work and I was left with two! His went on loan to a riding home and they bought him and had him 20 years.

Second husband was scared of horses, but did any manual jobs I needed doing. Horse (same on I bought as 3yo) knew he was scared and pulled lots of faces. But when she died suddenly without warning in the field, he coped with all the horrible stuff from that while I went to pieces. She was 28.

Five years later he decided I should have a new horse, and we would look after it together. So we bought a totally unsuitable unknown horse who he was instantly besotted with. It has taken a while, but he is slowly getting more confident with horses and will handle any horse on the yard. He does a lot of the heavy work as I have arthritis (though I do mucking out...I like it and It's good exercise!) And he has started riding lessons. Horse is going for re-starting and schooling and we will know if he is a quiet plod as we were told or not...cross that bridge when we come to it. But OH is a determined man!

The day we bought Murphy
bigmurphy002.jpg


And a short video of his second riding lesson ever....a natural. This is after only 40 minutes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff9QwHbzcl0

I think I can say he is changed!:D
 
My OH is into motorbikes, and had barely set foot on a yard when we first met. Now hemucks out and does most jobs on the yard. And I go everywhere on the back of his bike. We're happy!
 
Housemouse said:
My partner doensn't go anywhere near my horses - thinks they are smelly and pointless and keep me penniless (he has a point).

We've been together ten years.

He is totally cool when he doesn't see me from friday to monday, any evenings and sometimes I leave before he is awake.

Don't expect him to change, but I try to make (the odd) effort to be at home for him. (Politically correct).

Did I mention I have kids to?
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Ditto . . . and adding that I'm actually glad that my OH isn't at all horsey. He supports my hobby . . . I support his. It's called give and take and it's what makes a marriage/long term relationship. We met in 1990 and married in 1994 (although I didn't own Kal then).

P
 
Yep, but this is not always a good thing it can go way too far!!! He was scared of horses thought they were a dirty, boring, nasty and a money pit (OK can't argue with the last one). However a few lessons later and he was found to be a complete natural, when he tried his first fence he landed and was grinning ear to ear - at this point I knew I had serious trouble!

I had to buy him his own horse last year as he was hogging mine and would not share nicely (especially round Sommerford - I had a very long walk). I probably spend more time helping him with his than I get to spend with my own these days. There is also that annoying voice in the corner of the arena now that knows enough to provide running commentary on all my training videos arrgggghhhhh!!!!

However I should not really complain it does help in other ways as he did not moan when I requested he got out of bed at 6:30 on Sunday and got the wagon out so I could go and compete. Also I have the reassurance if I am ever really ill/injured he now knows enough to do them which saves having to go on full livery and bringing them back into work later.
 
My partner hates horse's but will help if I beg lol.

He always comes and helps when i have a hay delivery or i'm moving yards for the 5th time and need all my rubber matting moving!!

Although last summer when my horse was living out he used to go and feed him and change rugs before work so can't moan really!!

He say's he hate's him but when he comes down he constantly feeds him treats and strokes him!!

He does nothing but moan about ho much he costs though!!
 
My current OH is a self-confessed city boy and we have been together 7 years. When we first met (in the honeymoon period) we only really saw each other at weekends and he would come to the stables with me, walk out with me on hacks, help me do my stable, groom etc

After a few months I moved to be nearer to him and after a couple of years the honeymoon period wore off and he would moan about the time I was with the horse and at a very bad patch despite living 5 mins apart there were months we would only see each other twice a week I was busy with the horse he would never come down the yard and we just seemed to lose interest in each other. I bought a new horse without him even coming to any viewings and owned her for a few weeks before he even saw her (he also said it would be the end of us if I got another horse prior to her arrival!) Thankfully it wasn't and we are now fine :)

A couple of years ago I bought a trailer and he started coming to shows with me and is a pretty good groom (his attendance depended on whether there was a burger van at the event - easily bought ;)). He even ended up in a big local show helping loads of people in my class who hadn't brought their own helpers to help them get the saddle back on after the trot-up and I was very proud to watch him pulling down stirrups and holding the reins in one hand and stirrup in the other while they mounted.

He has built field shelters, helped with fencing, farrier visits, vet visits, driven me to hospital a couple of times etc etc.

With my mare who was bought as a project he has lead me on hacks, acted as foot soldier, led my other horse out with her etc (means both get exercised at the same time!)

He treats the horses as big dogs and thinks my mare likes her belly being scratched... He also thinks himself some kind of horse whisperer! He is also the current horse physio as he can get my horses to belly lift / bum tuck as advised by the back lady but I struggle to find the right spots! He also feeds them loads of treats and then tries to deny it when I find all the goodies gone (he also knows I have CCTV there)!!

Recently I have changed job and have to go away about once a month for a couple of days, he is able to do their rugs, feed etc and will look after my horses for me.

We now live together and I have 3 horses (third is a companion pony) he doesn't really like my horses but accepts they are an important part of my life and will help when required. He does moan about the house being a tackroom but as with everything we have met a happy balance.

He has also picked up a lot of knowledge over the last 7 years from parts of the horse to behaviour and practical skills. When he came to Your horse live with me (under duress as friend was sick and unable to come with me) we watched a problem horse demo and he was chirping in my ear about me and my horse and even admitted he enjoyed it!

His friends recently moved and the garden was a total mess, when he went to help they were very impressed he had some wellies in his car (also city boys)!
 
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My partner endured years of watching his sister learn to ride and hated the thought of getting involved. He came riding with me once but simply isn't interested. He will however come to the yard to offer moral support on dark evenings but isn't into much contact with the boy.

He's very tolerant and is happy for me to spend hours out doing my thing, and never moans about £ as long as I earn more than him!:(

He sometimes displays flashes of interest but in my heart I know that he's no more likely to really get involved than I am to learn to swing a golf club. If our marriage ever deteriorates at least we will each have our own place to hide:eek:.
 
I got my first horse on loan shortly after meeting my non-horsey husband. He lived 150 miles away so we could only see each other weekends. He thought the horse was a good idea to keep me busy during the week. He is a surfer - I made him promise if I learned to surf he had to learn to ride... Imagine his horror when I stood up on a surfboard in Devon. So he had some lessons and rode my mare occasionally. After 3 years we relocated to be together and I was very surprised to find he encouraged me to have the horse full-time. Then went to try horses with me when we decided I should buy my own. Originally the gelding I bought was for us both to share but he REALLY doesn't get on with him - every time he has ridden they just totally confuse each other, I don't know why. However he is keen for me to keep him and will help out if required, in fact he will soon be subsidising my horse as I will be cutting my hours at work.
It works because he can go surfing and I can go riding and we are happy together, got married last summer. TBH if I had had to choose at any point I would have got rid of the man... but he would never make me choose, because he loves me for who I am! I would never waste my time with a man who tried to turn me into something I wasn't.
 
Mine had been horsey in the past, but had no involvement for years until he met me. Now hes keener than I am in many ways :o

I think people can change, but I wouldnt expect them to have to if they truly werent interested. Im never going to be interested in golf or cars even if that was my OHs hobby. I do think its out of order for ultimatums to be set by either party though, ive had boyfriends in the past that did the old 'its me or the horse' line, ,and we all know how that one usually ends ;)

katiey said:
Also didnt realise how much they meant to him until sadly one of my boys was pts back in February and my boyfriend actually cried - Love him!! x
So yes there is hope for change :-)
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That is the only time ive seen my OH cry. We were waiting for the vet and he asked me exactly what would happen when the horse was PTS, so I walked him through it step by step what would happen. He sat with the horse while I waited outside (id said my goodbyes and I was sad but OK with the situation) and he came out in tears.
 
YES!!
Our first date was spent in a stable with a choking horse!
He stayed with me all night through various vet visits until she was out of danger.
He then learned to ride, he then ....... became a saddler!!

True love eh??

This was a totally non horsey OH, by the way!
 
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