Non Horsey People Say The Funniest Things

A colleague has recently asked me the following:

A field he passes on the way to weork has horses in, a few weeks ago, he noticed one that was two different colours, like it had some sort of pattern, he'd never noticed it before. Once we had a diagram, I realised it had a blanket clip, and had been rugged up until the day he sqw the 'pattern'

Also, why does a horse stand with its MASSIVE TODGER hanging out? (thats the way he said it....) I did reply 'becuase he can.....'

And I siad that I was moving house soon, to which one girl responded 'will you still have to go to the horses every day?'

She is amazed at how much I spend on their shoes every 6 weeks. I think she's jealous.
 
My mum thought that the only reason i clipped my pony was so that i could buy him a rug. my dad said that my pony had squiggles (when he in fact had strangles) & the elderly lady next door phoned my (non-horsey) mum as she was worried that one of the horses was laid down in the field behind our house. not sure how my mum had become the resident horse expert but by this point she knew enough to say that some horses do sleep lieing down. when watching badminton or burghleey on tv at uni friends have commented on the unusual markings on the horse's legs which was in fact event grease. also not horsey but farmy, a friend tried to convince me that a ewe was a female cow until he realised he was talking to a yorkshire lass who probably was right (having grown up in hong kong himself).

on an alternative note a horsey friend (but non-mathematical) thought that i must have fallen off jumping when i said i hated logs (or is that too geeky for here?!)
 
Not a horsey one but animal related.

We were looking at some cats at the local RSPCA as we wanted to adopt.

As we walked along the line of pods we came across a cat with only three legs. I pointed it out to my then 5 year old daughter, she looked horrified and said "Well I don't want that one, everytime I pick it up to give it a cuddle it will bleed all over me!"

So funny, once I had stopped laughing I had to try to explain that it had been stitched up which she found even more confusing!
 
As I was cantering around the school yesterday, a little lad went past on a shettie and went 'WHOOAH LOOK AT THAT FAST PONY!'

I almost fell off laughing! :D
 
Shortly after my first few riding lessons me and my Mum were watching Badminton for the first time. The first horse started and we both said 'wow, look at those unusual leg markings' Then the next one came with the same, and the next till we were thoroughly confused. At my next weekly lesson I asked about it and my instructor managed to explain about eventing grease through her snorts of laughter.

Previous OH asking if I wanted him to pass me the 'numpty' (numnah)

My sister asked my Dad to pass her a drink while she was sitting on her TBx (no reins or stirrups), my unhorsey father threw a 2lt bottle of coke at her at which point said TBx shot sideways and my sister was on her ass on the floor!

Not so funny, but a lesson that you should always listen to people who have horses if you don't know them (even if that's your own children). One very rare night all 4 of us were out so my Dad fed and mucked out for us. All of our horses were fine except the new fellxhanovarian who was VERY food aggressive. So just told him he'd be fine, just tie Orion on the yard with his dinner while you do his bed. Dad decided he obviously knew better than his children and the next thing my Mum heard from the kitchen was *bang* 'ow, you b*gger'!! Luckily he wasn't hurt because we couldn't stop laughing when we found out - nice to be able to say I told you so to your parents :)
 
I have had loads of colleagues ask me if my horse will go for glue when he is shot. Even when I have blantantly told them about the loss of my horses they have enquired and probed and wanted to know the intricate details about shooting, blood, guts, the glue factory and goodness knows what else. I find it very bizarre and would face a disciplinary if I were to probe about the loss of their relatives, children, etc.

I also had a bloke at work recently comment that he had been chuckling all weekend at the vision of my horse riding me across a field. WHAT??
 
Oh have also had a:
"So, you have to go down to look after him everyday?"
"Yes"
"Even Christmas?"
"Yes"
"WOW, so EVERY SINGLE DAY?!"
"...Yes"

and when a non-horsey family friend came to see Toto, she later said "it's wierd, I always imagined a horse to be kinda... spongy? His face is really hard!" :confused:
 
Well, when I was just starting in the horsey world, my friend used to get REALLY annoyed when I called horse rugs 'coats'. Well they are aren't they?? I now use the correct term of 'rug' :rolleyes:.
 
non horsey ex, didnt realise 'shires' was a rug brand and though it was a size - bless him it was being used on a shire cross at the time so probably is logical in some wierd way, so when we got the TB and went rug shopping he was looking for a 'thoroughbred' rug - bless :)
 
My OH always refers to the anti rub vest as Vardi's Bra! So can often be heard shouting "are you going to put Vardi's bra on tonight or is it too hot" which as you can imagine on a Western yard full of Wrangler blokes causes a fair bit of jaw dropping.

My favourite though is my stepson who bless had never had anything to do with animals until I crash landed into his life with my menagerie when he was aged 10.

On seeing my old gelding drop and relax (bear in mind we were at a packed showground at the time and someone in the arena was halfway through a complecated dressage test)

The little darling yelled "Jen Jen Marti's Tummy is escaping" I replied " No darling that is not his tummy he needs the loo" really Shouting now " You mean that's his Dick..... awsome"

Mortified oh yes
 
LOL! They certainly do :D

Someone at my school was talking to me about her apparent pony who she'd loaned out to a new family cos she didn't have the time and then went on to say
"But of course, they stopped loaning him because he bucked the kid off. Too feisty. Shame really, it's his own fault. Where he was living they gave him his own pool and hair salon."
I didn't know where to look at that one :D

And then another friend who apparently used to have a horse was telling me about him. She gestured to her waist saying "He was only about that big. But I mean, he was a horse, definitely a horse and not a pony, just a very small horse."
I just didn't understand where that came from at all :D xx
 
A friend we don't see very often pooped round today and asked if my old mares bridle(hung up in living room) was a sex toy.
I give up :o :D
 
My non horsey dad told me yesterday that he didn't want Red wearing the fly mask I'd bought him cos 'He won't be able to see properly' cue me shoving the mask over his head :D He soon got the picture :p
 
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