Not sure how to handle this, can't control mare

Nightingale01

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I've just bought a 16yr old 14.1hh mare and have had her 2 weeks. She was bought as a novice ride for myself and my daughter. She was very restless when she arrived, but settled very quickly into the field and has been out 24/7 since. Our problems begin when we want to bring her in and ride her. She refuses to budge in the field. She's impatient and paces around the stable, putting on a bridle is a challenge. She stamps her feet while putting the saddle on. Cannot stand still while I mount. Difficult to get out of the yard, going more backwards than forwards. Spooky on her own on hack and spends a lot of time in the middle of the road. My daughter cannot lead her, as she would be dragged around the yard, she's charged off into the field and gave me rope burns as I tried to hang on to her. My question is, is this just settling in? Does she sound like a novice ride? Should we sell her on as not attached to her yet and we clearly can't manage her?
 
I've just bought a 16yr old 14.1hh mare and have had her 2 weeks. She was bought as a novice ride for myself and my daughter. She was very restless when she arrived, but settled very quickly into the field and has been out 24/7 since. Our problems begin when we want to bring her in and ride her. She refuses to budge in the field. She's impatient and paces around the stable, putting on a bridle is a challenge. She stamps her feet while putting the saddle on. Cannot stand still while I mount. Difficult to get out of the yard, going more backwards than forwards. Spooky on her own on hack and spends a lot of time in the middle of the road. My daughter cannot lead her, as she would be dragged around the yard, she's charged off into the field and gave me rope burns as I tried to hang on to her. My question is, is this just settling in? Does she sound like a novice ride? Should we sell her on as not attached to her yet and we clearly can't manage her?

You need a knowledgable local instructor to come and assess you and the horse on the ground and when riding. Get some help with everything and then if they think it's the wrong horse for you, you can make a decision on your next move
 
I suppose no one will know without seeing her and knowing what she was like before you got her. Did she act like this when you went to view her? To me it sounds like settling in still. If you think about it from her point of view, she's just left a home she knows to come to you and she's settled to her new field which she's been in 24/7 so she is wary of leaving it and then stressed in the stable wanting to get back to the field and especially being with someone she doesn't fully know or trust yet. Some horses are harder to catch than others anyway, especially when they don't like what's going to happen to them when they get brought in. If I were you I would work on building up a relationship with her in the field, go up to her with no pressure of catching her and give her scratches and an apple. Then do the same with bringing her in and keeping it calm and positive. Same with the riding, if she's in a new place where she doesn't know the boundaries or what's expected of her and she's a bit unsure would explain the spooking and napping. I would give it a few more weeks to see if she settles more when she gets to know you and what's expected.
 
Sounds like settling in problems. Some horses can take a while. But what you describe does need more experienced help. Good experienced help could really turn her around and once settled she may well be the novice hack you wanted. If you are on livery, is there anyone you could pay to help you?
 
Do you always ride when you bring her in? If she connects being brought in to being worked, it's understandable that she's hard to catch.
 
Thanks everyone. Our instructor has said she doesn't think she is suitable for us at the moment as we are such novices. Her last owners are perplexed by her behaviour...I am able to contact them and they are supportive. She does seem frightened and wary, so maybe it is just settling in problems. I don't know whether I should ride her more or less...give her more time in the field to settle...or more time riding to get used to me? I am keeping her at a yard which is attached to a riding school, and have spoken to them this evening of my concerns. Am I expecting a bit too much for her to be able to hack out by now?
 
My rescue pony settled in days, but my horse took months. Only past the 6 month mark would I say he settled back to the horse I bought. The first few weeks leading him to his field were horror and he'd barge and nearly knock me flying, I had little control. He's a very good boy now. I'd do plenty of groundwork and bond building, maybe not ride as much as you'd like until she's comfortable with you on the ground. This is SO worth it in the long run.
 
Sounds like she's got the measure of your experience. She has a lot more than you.

If she was nicely behaved at the previous owner's place then I would say you need a lesson from a good horseman (or woman) in handling her, re-establishing who is in charge. Have a look at Richard Maxwell's books and videos.

Tie her up to bridle her so she can't get away with nonsense.

If the old owner isn't far see if you can pay them for their time to come over and ride her out for you.
 
Could your daughter ride one of the riding school horses and you follow on your mare out hacking?
Some horses really take confidence from others.
 
I think it's more she needs to settle in than she is not suitable. Plus she may have clicked onto the fact you are novice and be using it against you. She is 16 and knows the world well by now.

Some horses just don't settle quickly and mares are known to be a little temperamental as well from time to time. My horse doesn't really care if he goes somewhere new he just wants to explore and make friends. But he is younger and less 'set in his ways' as she might be now if she was at her old home for a while.

Get an instructor to school her and do all of the tacking up too. Will probably find the mare behaves better then. If that's the case continue getting her schooled and you get lessons too. It will be expensive for a while but worth it in the long run.

Good luck. Don't give up hope yet. I am sure she will change for the better. :)
 
Do you always ride when you bring her in? If she connects being brought in to being worked, it's understandable that she's hard to catch.

This. Try bringing her in giving her a groom and a feed/treats. Then put back out. Repeat. Then put bridle on treat take bridle off put back out, then do it again and saddle and treat. Then try riding her.

Daughter rode a Sec A that was great to catch till she learnt it meant being ridden, then she was a right sod to catch. So I took a day to catch, treat and let go. Many times. Took almost 2 hours first time, but she soon cottoned on and soon she was begging to be caught. After that she was fine to catch but I still used to sometimes catch treat and let go. Even now, 6 years after my daughter stopped riding her, if I walk into her field she comes over to see if I want to catch her and treat her.
 
Tbh OP it sounds more like novice owner problems than unsuitable horse problems. I'm guessing this is your first?

I'd bet you've had riding lessons. But probably not much by way of groundwork ones?

Always good to have a few. Change instructor if this one thinks horse unsuitable as you need someone to work with you with a positive attitude. Unless of course you completely concur. In which case try asking them if they think any other horse would be more suitable...
 
This. Try bringing her in giving her a groom and a feed/treats. Then put back out. Repeat. Then put bridle on treat take bridle off put back out, then do it again and saddle and treat. Then try riding her.

Daughter rode a Sec A that was great to catch till she learnt it meant being ridden, then she was a right sod to catch. So I took a day to catch, treat and let go. Many times. Took almost 2 hours first time, but she soon cottoned on and soon she was begging to be caught. After that she was fine to catch but I still used to sometimes catch treat and let go. Even now, 6 years after my daughter stopped riding her, if I walk into her field she comes over to see if I want to catch her and treat her.

This is very true. We have a Welsh (too!!) that connected coming in with work so we had to make sure he only got ridden a portion of the time he was brought in. He was older and smarter also, I think he was about the same age as yours. He's sorted now, I think he's about 22! :D
 
I suppose no one will know without seeing her and knowing what she was like before you got her. Did she act like this when you went to view her? To me it sounds like settling in still. If you think about it from her point of view, she's just left a home she knows to come to you and she's settled to her new field which she's been in 24/7 so she is wary of leaving it and then stressed in the stable wanting to get back to the field and especially being with someone she doesn't fully know or trust yet. Some horses are harder to catch than others anyway, especially when they don't like what's going to happen to them when they get brought in. If I were you I would work on building up a relationship with her in the field, go up to her with no pressure of catching her and give her scratches and an apple. Then do the same with bringing her in and keeping it calm and positive. Same with the riding, if she's in a new place where she doesn't know the boundaries or what's expected of her and she's a bit unsure would explain the spooking and napping. I would give it a few more weeks to see if she settles more when she gets to know you and what's expected.

love this answer, its exactly how i dealt with my first horse in very similair situation, to start off with he was throwing me off constantly and riding was no pleasure at all. I did exactly as piebald potato describes and have had him 8 years now, he really is a very safe and sensible horse. There really is no point riding horse you feel frightened of, build up the trust first!
 
Sounds like she's got the measure of your experience. She has a lot more than you.

If she was nicely behaved at the previous owner's place then I would say you need a lesson from a good horseman (or woman) in handling her, re-establishing who is in charge. Have a look at Richard Maxwell's books and videos.

Tie her up to bridle her so she can't get away with nonsense.

If the old owner isn't far see if you can pay them for their time to come over and ride her out for you.

I think it's exactly this. I'm betting you want to be friends with this horse and have been hoping she'll be kind to you; she wants a confident leader and she's worked out you're not up to the job.

You can be though. As FW said, you need to be shown by a good horse trainer (not a riding instructor) how to do it. It's not complicated, but you need to be consistent, and a good horse(wo)man will give you the tools and confidence to do what you need to do to get this horse to work out for you.
 
We had the exact same thing with our welsh cob X mare.

She was an absolute nightmare to catch and lead anywhere. What she needed was firm, consistent handling so that she understood the ground rules. She was very, very unsettled and it took a good 6 mths of just hanging out with her in the field, making a fuss of her, quiet hacking with a sensible friend and not pushing her too far out of her comfort zone. She did come round and is a very sweet mare now.

The thing you also need to understand is that mares won't instantly like you, you have to earn their respect! But once they decide you're ok, you have a friend for life. :)
 
i have a pony exactly like this when i move yards it takes her about 6 weeks to settle in ,shes bargy ,flighty, unwilling to leave the new herd,impossible to stable, impossible to tack up etc etc give her time if she was in the same herd on the same yard for a long time it can take some horses a while to settle in
 
I think it's exactly this. I'm betting you want to be friends with this horse and have been hoping she'll be kind to you; she wants a confident leader and she's worked out you're not up to the job.

You can be though. As FW said, you need to be shown by a good horse trainer (not a riding instructor) how to do it. It's not complicated, but you need to be consistent, and a good horse(wo)man will give you the tools and confidence to do what you need to do to get this horse to work out for you.

exactly this. I'm afraid that when a new horse arrives it is going to ask the question what is going to happen if I don't? Experienced people know this will happen and nip it in the bud plus of course the mare needs to settle in and get confidence in you.
For a novice it can come as a shock that the horse is not your new best buddy but someone who is going to test you to see if you are up to the job.
Even if you change the horse the problem is still likely to arise. You simply need someone to show you how to deal with her. Once she gets the message you are in charge then you can start to build a friendship and work her so she learns to trust you.
 
You could always try getting out one of Kelly Marks Intelligent Horsemanship Recommended Associates. They will help you with the groundwork problems you're having and will be able to help you decide if you want to work through them or not. They can teach you some excellent skills and there are quite a few so hopefully one in your area. A quick google should find the list.
 
The first 2-3 weeks with my horse were horrible- I look back and can hardly believe it! She hated to be groomed, rugged, feet picked out, she was bolshy, unsettled, difficult to handle, just as you describe. She is such a kind, sweet, intelligent horse and looking back I genuinely think she didn't see why a stranger should be taking such liberties with her person! I backed right off her. I didn't even groom her much and didn't ride her. I fed her and turned her out and brought her in and did the odd brush for 3 solid weeks. I was firm when I had to be but not unless she did something very rude or dangerous. Otherwise I ignored her behaviour as much as I could. I used short sessions of simple groundwork exercises to build trust over time. She came around so quickly. I love her to bits and we've been together for years. She's my best friend.
It's funny so many books advise grooming and spending time together to bond... for us it was too much too soon for her. However i am not a novice and I was not worried about standing up to her when I had to. I didn't mind working through it.
I guess I'm just sharing to say it's still very VERY early days, your horse may be finding the whole thing stressful, try not to expect too much, get help if you can. But don't put yourself in a position where you're losing confidence as the horse will know and things will get much worse.
 
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