"Note to self"by Bob tne "nota"cob

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Mike007

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Hi , Its me,Bob the "nota"cob,the worlds only computer literate horse.
Today has not been one of my finest days!:eek:In the spirit of encouraging the youth of today,I taught my field mate "Big Bob"(no relation) my famouse rear up hoof of death game. Now I am17.2 but Big Bob is over 18 hands. (you can already see where this is going!). Any way ,five minutes later I have three white socks and one Crimson one.:eek:My lifes blood is pumping away!(editors note, Bob people cut themselves worse shaving!).All in all it is not looking good, but things were about to get worse:eek:
YO phones Mike , who turns up in about 20 minutes. Now mike tends to just ride in trainers and a scruffy high viz jacket . But he is dressed like we are about to go to a party. A quick check of my diary confirms my worst fears. There in black and white, " Go to Pony club clear round jumping , win first frilly ,volunteer services for Olympics. So ,no party , no frilly, no showjumping career, But worse still, Mike says I need a vet for some stitches. Nice Australian lady turns up. I am terrified of vets, but mike tells me its ok, she is just some mad person who was passing and happens to have a fully kitted out car for such eventualities.Well thats OK, and I get patched up nicely. Stitches in for a couple of weeks.
My life is in tatters , I have had to cancel my social engagements (Gallops with Dennis tomorrow).

Anyway, NOTE TO SELF , Under no circumstances EVER teach my field mates the Rear up hoof of death game EVER AGAIN.
 
Thanks for the advice but my experience is that Sh+tlands fight dirty and will Kneecap you as soon as look at you. Trouble is that my mate Big Bob (no relation) is only 4 and hasnt quite got used to how long his legs have got:o.
 
You were lucky Bob "nota"cob. Malteser "nota"girl sends his best wishes and says also, don't play that other game pat-a-cake with a shod cob. This also results in crimson feathers and "frowning" Mum wielding fluffly cotton and loud stretchy pink "bandage".
 
Dear Bob,
Don't play with shetlands :o Tiny Fuzzy joined in my game of 3 points dash in the field (run to each point as fast as you can). Shetlands cheat and cut corners, they also can turn more quickly :mad:
They are only useful as a pillow or football, oh - and also to entice small children into ones field, with gifts of great tastyness :cool:
Hope you heal up soon
Your estwhile oirish eejit,
Big Fuzzy
 
Dear Bob nota Cob, the biggest mistake was not checking your diary first :eek: My VERY big field mate aka The Big Girl, took off one of her shoes just before the Easter Bonnett ride :eek this meant that she could not go and show off her fancy hat. It is essential that rough play etc is kept for the days before things that you don't want to go to :D
Best wishes
The Current Appy
 
ex racer rider said:
bob, did the australian lady give you treats? that would have made it fine :D
Click to expand...

No , bu YO gave me some, (Second note to self , New YO wanders round with pockets full of treats!). Ozzy "nota "vet just let me show off my wonderfull Irish Draught trot. Mike sneakilly delegated the leading bit because he is so unsound at the trot she would have insisted that he be PTS and I would probably have been prosecuted for keeping a human like that:eek:
 
Well at least you got some treats i suppose.
Is your human injured?? If he is you should have some time to get fat and you wont have to run at the painty fence things.
 
Injured, no, just an old crock!I keep telling him to take some time off,but he ignores me. Thinks I need him to ride me every day!. :D In fact I even chucked him off out hunting and trod on him to try and slow him down but that didnt work .:o Edited to add, maybe a random thought here , thinking outside the box ,so to speak, but do you suppose that he might not be such an old crock if I stopped chucking him off and stepping on him? Just wondering?
 
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Bob, I'm afraid we do require photographic evidence of your height, (and genereal smexyness) in order to believe you and give suitable sympathy.

Oh, and you might not be pleased to hear that Hovis is also computer literate ;) he also seems to get himself into trouble - a man thing?
 
IMG_8577.jpg
This is me. and Mike. Mike is demonstrating how to ride "red indian "style after I heroicly save us from a particularly nasty jump!
 
hi bob , hagrid the 17.2 warmblood here , i taught danny the 16hh wimpy tb to rear box the other week but hes developed a worrying habit!! as i rear up with me feet around his delicate ears he ducks down and takes a nip at me manly bits! i can tell you now i dont swing that way!!!! me dad just stands there and laughs , owners , hurumph
 
Mike007 said:
IMG_8577.jpg
This is me. and Mike. Mike is demonstrating how to ride "red indian "style after I heroicly save us from a particularly nasty jump!
Click to expand...

Bob, are you sure Mike wasn't just checking your lip strap was done up???
 
Mike007 said:
IMG_8577.jpg
This is me. and Mike. Mike is demonstrating how to ride "red indian "style after I heroicly save us from a particularly nasty jump!
Click to expand...

Hi Bob, Asha here, chetsnut ID mare, all i can say is 'ding dong', you can play with me in my field i will be gentle with you..........
 
Hi bob. My new(ish) sister is a small not a cob and being 2 hands bigger than her, just a couple inches shorter than urself, I find her rump makes a lovely pillow when I snooze in the field. I'm the tallest lad at my place so manly games are played with a 14.2 which I will admit means I come out looking dashing. Ur lucky to have a decent sized human male owner. Mine is smaller than my cob sister and a female. Still she smells pretty most days and has pockets full of treats so it's not all bad. I'm frightened to drop her though. She's so small, who will brush and feed me if I break her (and rub the tip of my nose gently with their nose)? Regards. Beetle.
 
Bob not-a-cob...a word in your shell-like...

I've spotted where you're going wrong, the field is for eating in not playing in...you should take a leaf (at least) out of my book - when Mike turns you out, just go through the gate, put your head down to the green stuff, ignore all other horses and just graze all the live long day...it only comes to an end when owner comes to drag me out of the field again in the evening. Currently I am injury free with this approach. Sometimes the big boys expect me to hurtle round a bit with them but one or two laps and it's straight back to munching again.

Yours most definitely a cob
 
Dear Bob,

I think you are the one that may be my cousin? Do you have an uncle named Boat, since I'm told that I'm by Boat out of Ireland? [ed. note: he's stealing that from somewhere...]

You gave me some excellent advice, I think, about eating things whenever possible, and I have to agree with MochaDun's cob's approach in the matter of fields and what to do in them.

Carrots,
the Spooky Pony
 
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