Now he's on full livery I have lost interest:(

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hondatyper

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I moved my horse to a new livery yard 2 weeks ago, unfortunately the only option for now is full livery in the week and DIY at the weekend, apart from it now costing a small fortune, I feel I have lost interest in my horse.

Yesterday was a lovely sunny day I left work early my kids were at their dads so I had a good 3 hours of daylight to ride, but I just went home, I knew he'd been brought in, fed, mucked out etc etc. all I needed to do was tack up and ride but I just didn't have any enthusiasm:(

I have been thinking about loaning him or selling him recently, the first week of livery was like a breath of fresh air as I didn't have the stress of the school run, yard jobs, bring in, etc etc but I only rode him once on Saturday morning. I haven't ridden since. I popped up late last night and dropped off the money for the farrier, said hello to the horse then went home again.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I used to not be able to do a day without seeing my horse, even when my sharer was doing him I missed him so much! I am worried about affording the livery but it's the only yard I could find in the area, needs to be fairly near home, kids school etc, (long story)

Don't know what I expect as a reply to this but think in my heart of hearts it could be time to let him go:(
 
I think that being on full livery has given you time to reflect, that's a good thing !!! I wouldn't rush into anything, but keep thinking over the next few weeks. Your horse is fine on livery, and it sounds like you feel you have a life back. If the feeling doesn't change, maybe look down the route of a sharer, a loan, or selling and giving up.

We forget how much of our lives horses take up, and being honest with yourself is by far the right thing to do. Look how many people lose interest, but insist on keeping their horses, and WON'T go on full livery while they assess the situation !! Or worse, bury their heads in the sand and neglect the horse (and we all know peeps like that). So good on you for being so honest !!!

Good luck, let us know what you do decide. sm x
 
I wouldn't do anything too hasty, I'm sure if lots of us were given the opportunity of a few weeks off we'd jump at the chance. Leave it a month and see how you feel, maybe a break is just what you need. You'll most likely be itching to get back there in a few weeks, you won't know what to do with all the extra time on your hands! :)
 
I can relate to this really, when my horses were on full livery you feel surplus to requirements and ' in the way '. I was in a busy career and popping in suited me fine at the time but when I left work I noticed it most. I didn't feel part of their lives anymore.

Eventually I bought my own place and sort them everyday now and after this winter I wish they were back on full livery.
 
I was in exactly the same position as you! sort of.

I moved to a new yard a couple months ago where I now keep my mare on full livery (during the week). I was on a DIY system at my old yard (long story) At first i was so excited about being on full livery becuase the winter of juggling my job with mucking out and other yard stuff had really exhuasted me. and it was SO nice coming home after work and knowing she'd been mucked out and cared for profffesionally and to such a nice standard
After my mare was on full livery for a couple weeks I did sometimes feel like a spare part if I popped up during the week. there was nothing to do and it made me feel like maybe I was neglecting her in a way?

But it's 3 months on now and I couldn't be happier. Havig her on full livery has really allowed me to take a step back and realise all the things I love about her in the first place without having to faff around with mucking out after work and rushing to see her in the evenings. I now only see her at weekends and it's the best part of the week for me. I go up the yard becuase I WANT TO not becuase i have to. I can spend as much or as little time as i want just grooming her or fussing over her and we have formed SUCH a closer bond than what we had before. it's like she looks forward to seeing me like i look forward to seeing her.

all i can say is don't be hasty. let the next few weeks be a time of reflection.
 
Maybe you are a bit burned out in the horse department. It does happen, it doesn't make you a bad person.

I work full time but my horse is at my home and I have no children. I find it hard work. I have no idea how people with children, a job and a husband, look after horses at DIY.
 
Its been a long hard winter so I would take some time out just to see how you really feel. A couple of years ago I got a bit like this, just lost all enthusiasm (sp). I didn't have the option of full livery so gave him a break from ridden work, used to go up in the morning and turn out or get a friend to help sometimes and then in the evening after work I used to go back, skip out (didn't even want to do full muck out), feed, hay, rugs etc, check he was ok and go home. Sometimes I arranged for someone to do him for a couple of days. I felt awful sometimes but he was quite happy going in the field and not doing a lot.
I did get over it after about about a month and gave myself a kick up the backside and we are well away again but I think I was just knackered and needed a break. We all do at some point, they are such a big part of your life. Have a rest, enjoy yourself then see how you feel.
The break did my horse a world of good as well. He came back into work better than he went out of it.
 
Treat it like an illness...sit down, take it easy and the let feeling go away. :D

Then you will be back to your normal self, looking forward to seeing your horse and riding etc.:)
 
Having free time to yourself can force you to consider what is actually important to your happiness. Rushing around and doing endless chores can actually be easier as you never stop to think about those thoughts that may lurk below the surface (we all have them!) Very few people are actually comfortable with just doing nothing and being receptive to their thoughts and emotions, but its worth taking time out to work out how you really feel about things.

Do you feel less needed now your horse is cared for and all you have to do is ride? Perhaps you actually enjoy the horsecare aspects more than the riding, I have friends who are like that also. Could a different (cheaper?!) hobby provide the same satisfaction? Have your priorities changed since you bought your horse?

Perhaps you just need time to get used to what is essentially quite a big change in lifestyle for you. I certainly couldn't change from full livery to DIY, think it would kill me! So I can understand the difference from DIY to full also. I still manage to fill my spare time with many horse related activities, so there's other things you can do it you're feel you're missing out on Horse Time!
 
Have you considered the social change too? If you were on DIY at a different place before then you'll not only have been doing chores but have been with people you knew (and possibly liked too!). Maybe you need to find nice people at the new place to hack out/school with?

Also it sounds as though you may have some other things going on in your life at the moment (don't mean to pry on a public forum but it sounds as though you're no longer with the father of your children and may have moved/had to change transport options recently) so perhaps you should consider making a horsey decision once you've got used to/sorted out those things too. My share horse's owner got as far as advertising him for sale when she had relationship and career changes but, just a few months later, with a new sharer, is very happy with seeing him a couple of times a week knowing that his two adoring sharers are looking out for him :-)
 
I guess I had the opposite reaction, I ended up putting George on full livery and it has turned out to be a godsend for me, simply because it means I have the time to ride him, be with him and make a fuss. For me it also takes the stress out of it when I am stuck on a train knowing I will be late home, but I know he is ok. But everyone has different needs and what suits me, won't suit the next person.

I wouldn't rush into anything, give yourself some time, say a month to assess. It may just be that this long winter has taken its toll and you need a break.

All the best.
 
I recently sold my horse due to a combnaton of lack of interest and lack of confidence. Altho I miss him i know i made the right decision. I never neglected him and always put him first but I was fnding that more difficult. I didn't want to become one of those owners who never ride.He is getting much attention now and his new owners love him to pieces. The thing is it took me about 6 months to come to that decision. I now don't know how i ever fitted n riding and diy livery!!
 
You lot are all so fab! You all have such sensible advice and/or have been through the same thing! Yes I have a lot going on at the moment I am going through a divorce, am trying to get a mortgage, my job is changing and my ex keeps saying to the kids (who love the horse to bits) that if I didn't have that bloody horse then I could afford things like XBoxes and Wii's etc etc, yes I know he is blackmailing the kids, but I think paying the gas and electric etc is more important than games! OK so the horse could be classed as a luxury but I had him before the divorce so should I sell the cat, dog and kids too???!!!

It has been like a breath of fresh air with the full livery but it's the cost that's going to cripple me. I am not sure how long I can keep up the payments. Thing is he is a fantastic horse and I know it would be hard for me to find another like him, thanks though for your words of wisdom, it's good to sit back and breathe, I have had him 5 years this summer and on DIY all that time and as a single working mum it's not been easy.

I have also left a yard with some really really good friends, the new yard is nice but I haven't met anyone yet to hack out with or school with etc, I used to have such a good laugh at the other yard, did more chatting than horsey stuff!! I am sort of hoping once the divorce is over and the house sorted I will feel better about things I am living in sort of limbo at the moment with my whole life.
 
I would definitely look for a sharer or perhaps a summer loaner ? Relieve some of the financial pressure first and foremost, then let everything slot into place - which IT WILL !! It may just take time.

huge ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you and horsey xx
 
Agree it doesn't sound as though you want to sell the horse, perhaps a sharer to share the costs or a loan until thngs settle down mght be the way to go.
 
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