Oh gosh, where to start. Trying to buy a pony for a shy 11 year old!

[bonnysmum]

Hi everyone

I'm a newbie here. I've introduced myself as requested and was recommended to come straight on over here and ask my questions, so here goes. To cut a long story short, my daughter has been having riding lessons for just under a year and loves every minute of it. She's cantering nicely and just started learning to jump. She's 11 and a very shy & anxious child, and she would spend every waking moment with horses if she could. Herein lies the problem that we are not a horse family and while I have several kind friends willing to lend their ponies and time we are finding that begging favours and having to pre-arrange sessions is not working out for us too well. My daughter desperately wants (and, given her temperament I would argue needs) a pony to call her own. We have livery etc. sorted we just need to try and find that pony!

And wow, what a minefield! First of all I've had next to no luck with private sellers. Because of where we live there are no ponies for sale closer than about a 3 hour drive and I work full time, so everyone who is more local can get there before me. Furthermore almost every seller will tell me their pony isn't suitable for a novice rider and isn't happy for me to take my daughter to view. Those who I've lined up viewings with have dried up and disappeared off the face of the earth before said viewing has materialised. :-(

So, we tried a dealer, armed with full awareness of the buyer beware principle. Wow, talk about a baptism of fire! I won't go into it here, but my goodness did I feel out of my depth. I have no intention of buying any horse or organising a vetting unless my daughter's instructor has seen it, but the impression I had is that if I wasn't prepared to put down money there & then, then I could forget ever being able to buy one. They also said "at the end of the day it's your money, and your instructor's job is to teach on whatever you give them". Eh? That attitude didn't sit well with me.

So I need tons and tons of advice at all stages of this (and I am getting it from friends and our riding instructor, don't get me wrong), but right now I am really needing help with how to get my foot through the door as a serious buyer and how to have any chance at all of doing my due diligence and not losing out to those willing to flash the cash at the first viewing. TIA.

 

[buddylove]

I do not envy your position at all. I would be looking to find a pony to loan first before buying.
I have just bought another pony for one of my kids and it is very cut throat at the moment (and I have owned horses for nearly 30 years).

 

[Melody Grey]

I second trying to loan- try to find something though
word of mouth. Your local
Facebook groups or hunt pony club would be a good place to start. Which area at you in incase anyone reading has local suggestions?

 

[mariew]

Tbh I would see if you could find a share where the owner is pretty free range and not a control freak. The current market is not ideal to buy in, and owning is very different to riding/sharing, it's incredibly time consuming. And with a good, accommodating owner you can learn loads and get the feel for what having your own would be like.

 

[bonnysmum]

Thanks all, loans and shares have been investigated and there is absolutely nothing doing, nothing at all. :-( The other real worry with a loan is that my daughter will inevitably get very attached to a horse that isn't hers and can be taken away at any time. I am working on a possible arrangement with a friend, but again it's that feeling of being so reliant on others' goodwill that isn't sitting well with me. I do have people putting the feelers out but people do not want to sell or even loan good ponies, and we are wanting something a little bigger than the normal 12 or 13 handers that get outgrown and traded up. It's feeling like an impossible task tbh. I'm in the Highlands.

 

[Annagain]

It's a scary market out there at the moment! I was looking (for a horse for myself) for 14 months before I found my Mr Right and was in a similar position in terms of working full time. I picked up a few things that might help.
1. Don't even look at adverts until Thursday - that way you can see the new adverts and go to see them quickly at the weekend.
2. Have a day where you line up 3 or 4 in one area to see even if you have to travel a bit to that area. Book your instructor for the day and take her with you to first viewings.
3. Do you have a local pony club? Speak to the DC and ask for recommendations for any ponies for sale in the area - many go by word of mouth before they're even advertised.
4. Research, research, research dealers and only go to reputable ones. If you let us know where you are, someone here might be able to make some recommendations.
5. While I agree that a seller who pushes you isn't good, you can't expect them to hang around for you either, especially in the current market. Sometimes you have to be brave. I started off saying I would have to see a horse a few times before committing to buying but in reality there were only 2 out of the 25+ I saw that I could have done that with and that was because I got to see them before they were on the open market for one reason or another. There was only one where the seller would have wanted me to come back for a second viewing but I didn't get a good feeling from him. My boy was 3 hours away so I had to make that decision after one viewing where I rode him for about 25 minutes. I had a knowledgeable friend with me but she didn't influence my decision at all, she was just moral support. 11 months on, my gut feeling was right and he's definitely the one for me but I wasn't totally comfortable with having to make that decision so quickly. I had to though.

 

[HappyHollyDays]

Local Pony Club might be a good place to start.

 

[buddylove]

Oh dear, geography isn't in your favour either!
Give us a list of what you are looking for and we will see what we can find......

 

[mini_b]

Does your daughter have an instructor? Sorry if I’ve missed that bit. You will have to pay for their time but they will be well connected I would hope, you could ask them to be a middle man and look on your behalf.

 

[TPO]

Thanks all, loans and shares have been investigated and there is absolutely nothing doing, nothing at all. :-( The other real worry with a loan is that my daughter will inevitably get very attached to a horse that isn't hers and can be taken away at any time. I am working on a possible arrangement with a friend, but again it's that feeling of being so reliant on others' goodwill that isn't sitting well with me. I do have people putting the feelers out but people do not want to sell or even loan good ponies, and we are wanting something a little bigger than the normal 12 or 13 handers that get outgrown and traded up. It's feeling like an impossible task tbh. I'm in the Highlands.

Its worth contacting your local Pony Club. They might know of word of mouth ponies coming up for sale and loan.

Another thing to keep in mind is that an 11yr old will outgrow a first pony at some stage. I wouldnt write a loan off because of the "giving back" aspect because ultimately you will probably find yourself having to part with any pony.

Is Dunfermiline too far to travel to see a pony? Theres a 12.2hh 13yr old that sound suitable for sale just now (not by me) and I can recommend excellent vets for vwtting in that area. I'm not so good with children so never sure of their heights! My 11yr old nephew is a smurf who would fit on a shetland so I have nothing to judge against!

 

[bonnysmum]

Hi @mini_b , yes she does. She's also looking informally for us, including with a dealer who she knows well, so perhaps I just need to sit tight and be patient. I'd love to be able to take her to viewings, but with the distance involved I feel that's asking too much even with reimbursement (and costing a lot on that score too...)

I think the thing that's frustrating me most is the "not for a novice" thing, which seems to apply to every pony on the market. Even the dealers I was very uncomfortable with advised that she would very quickly be bored with a plod along RS pony, and her instructor's said the same that she needs one with a bit of oomph that she'll grow into. But I guess people are worried about accidents and have had too many kids who are barely off the lead rein trying to ride their competition ponies! I can understand it from their perspective too!

What I'm looking for:

14 to 14.2 hh (ish)
Experienced in the school
Kind and gentle and good being handled on the ground
Safe but not too kick-along
No serious or known chronic health problems

Basically what everybody else wants! Also (I think now) what I viewed yesterday but made a complete pig's ear of...

EDIT - she also has occasional lessons from the local pony club instructor so the feelers are out there too!

 

[Northern Hare]

Another vote for your local Pony Club.

Your daughter doesn't need to have a pony in order to join the Pony Club, and there are usually quite a few activities that she could attend on foot to start meeting other members of her age group.

You'll also get to hear of any suitable ponies for loan or sale.

Good luck for your search ?

 

[Ossy2]

Would the riding school where she is having lessons be open to an offer on her favourite pony?

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I always give this piece of advice to anyone looking at buying their first horse or pony because it is important. Make sure that your daughter isn't overhorsed. This is vital both during ridden work and also handling on the ground.

This really is an especially awful time to buy from what I've read. Ideally you want a pony that has been doing the job you want (so being ridden and handled by a child that is similar to your daughter but has maybe now outgrown the pony either in size or ability) and you need a pony that suits her now, not one that will suit her after a year of struggling... maybe. Buying one that will suit an 11 yo for many years isn't impossible, but it is a lot harder.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

A friend had a very good pony from Morrigan lease ponies.
Yes, you pay a lease hire monthly amount, but when child outgrows, you can send the pony back. Sounds heartless but it keeps children's ponies in work, they thoroughly vet homes, you dont have the faff of the perils of buying and selling.
They are on Facebook.

 

[bonnysmum]

(My daughter is extremely shy and uncomfortable with other kids, except a few close friends, she's hugely anxious. Pony Club has been tried and while she loves the time with the ponies, the group activities just are not her thing :-( She also tried volunteering at the stables and couldn't cope with feeling watched and pressured). Talk about an impossible situation!

 

[bonnysmum]

Would the riding school where she is having lessons be open to an offer on her favourite pony?

I wish!!

I feel like I'm answering every reply with yeah but. Sorry everyone. All the comments are very much appreciated anyhow, even just to reassure me that it really is a very difficult time to buy and it's nothing personal!

 

[ihatework]

You need to get yourself a knowledgeable instructor who is good with kids and has strong links to pony club. They can then network to find you a suitable pony as and when one gets outgrown. Don’t dismiss golden oldies either, they are usually worth their weight in gold, even if needing closer health management.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Even the dealers I was very uncomfortable with advised that she would very quickly be bored with a plod along RS pony, and her instructor's said the same that she needs one with a bit of oomph that she'll grow into.

I can understand why they have said that. However even if the pony is capable of stepping things up they need to be within your daughter's current capabilities. It is incredibly frightening when things go wrong so even without an accident or injury she could be put off with the wrong pony.

Although she's taller at 15hh my grey would be ideal. Of course I'm not selling her (gems like her hardly ever get sold) but she looks after a novice or disabled rider and yet with a more competent rider on board she can step it up. Can be handled by young children, you need sticks to walk... she's not bothered. She's also really, really lovely to be around. Has been known to be awkward to catch (this is not fun, you don't want this on a regular basis) but thankfully gives in easily when tempted by a carrot.

So yes, that gem is out there. Hard to find though.

 

[HeyMich]

What area of the Highlands are you in? Put up a wanted advert on the Strathearn Pony Club buy and sell page - that's how we've ended up with both our kids ponies.

And when folk above suggested PC, I don't think they mean for your daughter to attend the rallies (even though that would be fantastic), but rather to ask the DC and instructors if they know of any suitable ponies for share/loan/sale. A tried and tested PC pony is far, far better than taking a blind punt with a dealer!

Good luck!

 

[MyBoyChe]

Whars your budget? I have a good friend in Scotland who I can ask for you, she has 2 daughters who ride and knows a lot of people. Depending on your daughters physicality I would suggest a highland around the 13.2 mark, the best ponies ever and so kind and honest, just a bit strong if they put their minds to it!! I bought a 13hd pony for my granddaughter just before covid hit last year and prices rocketed. We drove just over 100 miles each way to see him, took the box with us and didnt have him vetted so a bit of a punt. Gd sounds similar to your daughter, she is very anxious in company and with too many other kids around but has really blossomed having her own pony to be responsible for, we see her every weekend and she often doesnt ride, just plays ponies and adores the whole yard thing, even all the hard work. Given the level of work the little guy does I was happy without a vetting as even at a viewing where I saw him lunged, ridden by someone who either couldnt ride (or was a very good actor) and let me faff about around him I could tell he was what I needed. He isnt a world beater but he is absolutely a small girls best friend. If you dont have the confidence to make a quick decision (and you will have to atm) can you ask your instructor to go with you, dont take your daughter initially because she will just fall in love with anything, better if your instructor could make the call and you just turn up with pony, I very much doubt your daughter would say "I dont want it" Good luck

 

[mustardsmum]

Would also recommend contacting your local Pony Club. Also noticed your height range - 14hh to 14.2 is the hens teeth range…... Could your daughter cope on a 13.2? Might open up a few more possibilities and a full up 13.2 would carry her for a few years? Have a friend who leased from Morrigan Ponies and it worked really well so may be worth contacting them? If it’s any consolation, buying is a nightmare atm. Just don’t feel pressured into buying something your not sure of. It’s a lot harder to have to sell the wrong horse than wait for the right one….. and usually ends up more expensive.

 

[bonnysmum]

If you dont have the confidence to make a quick decision (and you will have to atm) can you ask your instructor to go with you, dont take your daughter initially because she will just fall in love with anything, better if your instructor could make the call and you just turn up with pony

I think I would just be incredibly foolish to make a decision on a horse by myself, as I do not have the experience and would be a dodgy seller's dream come true! Mind you yesterday I think I was probably too suspicious, having slept on it I think I might have passed up a really nice pony :-( It was my daughter who made the call yesterday though. She walked it around, thought it felt a little uneven and was put off by a lot of head shaking and whinnying. She didn't want to trot (she was very uncomfortable in the situation with the people there) and the viewing ended quite abruptly at that point. I guess they just don't have the time or the need to mess around with nervous girls and stupid mothers. :-( She loved the pony on the ground though, so perhaps the whole viewing experience is just going to be too much for her.

I'm embarrassed to say my budget is only £3-4k (although the one I saw yesterday was allegedly a schoolmaster that they wanted £5k for, and I would pay that much if it was perfect in every way).

 

[ester]

It sounds like you are mostly going about things the right way, you've just picked a terrible time to do it!

I would second going a bit smaller if you can, 14-14.2 is prime selling territory. But also something older that's a known entity and would really bring your daughter on rather than the other way round.

 

[splashgirl45]

how tall is your daughter? 14 to 14.2 hands are popular with small adults . as she is only 11 i would think a smaller pony would be easier for her to handle,,,, agree speak to the local pony club ... i think a loan pony would be better as you are not a horsey family ...its a huge responsibility to buy your own, i remember buying my first horse when i was 21 and thinking i knew it all as i had been working part time at the riding school and exercising the liveries horses. what a shock first time horse ownership is!!!!

 

[SantaVera]

Can you do a share with the riding school pony? Would the RS sell you the pony your daughter enjoys riding?

 

[SEL]

How tall is your daughter? At 14h you have adults looking to buy as well whereas 13h tends to be the genuine kid's ponies. We have a 14yo girl on our yard who has just outgrown her 13.2 and he is 26 - has taken lots of children round pony club and is only just beginning to look like a pensioner. She got him at 11 and he's been a godsend in terms of having enough oomph to be interesting whilst also being as safe as they come.

If you can head more for the 13h range I think you'll find more in your budget

 

[bonnysmum]

Can you do a share with the riding school pony? Would the RS sell you the pony your daughter enjoys riding?

No can do, I've asked if we could loan or share him, but he belongs to the riding school owner and is very much hers. Same goes for the others who are lovely ponies, they all have loving owners who don't want to give them up!

 

[Gloi]

Thanks all, loans and shares have been investigated and there is absolutely nothing doing, nothing at all. :-( The other real worry with a loan is that my daughter will inevitably get very attached to a horse that isn't hers and can be taken away at any time. I am working on a possible arrangement with a friend, but again it's that feeling of being so reliant on others' goodwill that isn't sitting well with me. I do have people putting the feelers out but people do not want to sell or even loan good ponies, and we are wanting something a little bigger than the normal 12 or 13 handers that get outgrown and traded up. It's feeling like an impossible task tbh. I'm in the Highlands.

As a beginner you do not want to be getting a lifetime pony larger than she needs. She is better getting something that like these others that she will trade up from as she gains experience.

 

[bonnysmum]

I'm definitely hearing what you're all saying about the height range. Our instructor has recommended 14.2, and I think that's partly with the intention that if we get an established jumper she can keep him going and bring him on while my daughter is learning. She's also having all her lessons on 14 handers, she's quite tall for her age and has long legs (can't think of the exact measurement right now!). However I wonder if our instructor realises just how blinking impossible it is to find any of these for sale these days, and as you say we're competing with adults not just other parents. The other thinking is that my daughter is certain to bond with this pony and will not be a teen who is willing to just "trade up", and we can't possibly afford to keep two horses! (The pony will not be by itself btw, it will be on grass livery with other ponies).