Oh heck..... New livery with "history"

Joined
13 October 2012
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18
Location
Mid Wales
A new livery came to our nice little yard today, with her bay gelding, that is quite sweet... But... A few of us have heard things about this woman how she can make trouble and be a bitch and very gossipy ! She has been on 4 yards this year, and been asked to leave twice!!!
I for one don't want the peace on our yard to disintegrate, we have fab YO who won't take any messing or gossip but is fair and accommodating.
So I for one will take her at face value, and welcomed her today and invited her to our Xmas party. I know "others" may have issues with her and rumours fly about, I do believe you start off as you mean to go on, and she appears friendly so we will see!
That's best thing to do don't you all think. ?
 

smellsofhorse

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24 April 2007
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5,309
Location
New Forest
Just take her as you find her and be polite.

You don't have to get too involved.

You don't know that the stories are true or if they have been exaggerated.
We all know how gossip and Chinese whispers are active in the horse world!
 
Joined
29 November 2007
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5,762
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Cairngorms!
I think take her at face value. We had a girl coming to our old yard and her horse was described as the Black Devil (but not so politely phrased ). Ok so the horse cribbed and wind sucked etc but he wasn't nearly so much trouble as my bully of a dominant gelding, and the new horse never caused any issue, staying at the yard until he died at the age of 27.

So I would wait and see what your experience is (thank goodness our YO did with this horse)
 

Greylegs

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29 December 2011
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3,151
We had a woman with a "reputation" come to our yard once. Lots of muttering ensued but as her horse was opposite mine I couldn't avoid her so made a point of taking her as I found her. She was perhaps a little eccentric in ways but perfectly nice, chatty and friendly. I lent her my best dressage girth once (was warned not to .... Never get it back etc etc) and it was returned in a week with a nice box of chocs as a thank you.

Her horse was lovely and she eventually left as she rented her own land.

You have done the right thing. Let this woman prove she's a problem before you brand her as one. You never know, you might make a new friend.
 

Love

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9 August 2010
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Worcestershire
Think some of the comments are a bit harsh personally :(

Its perfectly normal to be wary of a new livery, certainly if there is a "background story".

It only becomes unacceptable when you don't give them a chance and go purely on hear say, but as you have mentioned you haven't done that so i see no problem :)

Just take each day as it comes. We all know how the balance can be changed so easily in a tight knit friendly livery yard and worry that it will happen.
 

Fools Motto

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30 June 2011
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6,494
I guess I'm lucky that I don't need/use livery yards, and never have. But, I do understand how it all works, and there is 'always one' on every yard. As this forum is quite a hub of information, I wouldn't be surprised if the person in question is not only a member, but can put two and two together and feel pretty down about how we can all talk 'gossip'. I hope if this is the case, she can put the rumour mills to bed though.
Surely, common sense prevails and just take any new yard member as they are. Surely being polite is the number one thing to do?
 

Moobucket

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10 October 2011
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368
When my mad (sinister crazy, not eccentric) livery was asked to leave I told everyone I could, to forewarn not gossip. In the process I discovered that she was well known in the area, had been asked to leave 2 yards previously and had upset about 3/4 of people I hold in high regard. There's no harm in doing a little back ground check and then just managing the situation accordingly. Most livery yard owners do. If i'd known she was so manipulative I'd have been quicker to nip it in the bud ( I thought it was me! ).
 
Joined
27 March 2011
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63
How well do you get on with your other liveries? what level of respect and ethos do you require from them, i usually give people the benefit of the doubt but 1 bad apple rots the whole barrel so to speak, if this happens i ask people to leave, i value my sanity and liveries too much to have arseoles on my place, im quite rigid on manners and how i want my yard to run, before people join the fold, it usually weeds out the wheat from the chaff! she may well be the best livery you have, what's to say she isnt a bit different ? as in whats train her horse oo i dunno parelli you know what the horse world is like, ! 4 yards is a lot, id be asking her why 4 yards, and also checking with the yards,
 
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quirky

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3 January 2008
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Purdah
We supposedly had one on our yard but I was always pleasent to her and she to me, we had some great chats. She never gossiped to me, she was forthright in her view and at 70 odd wasn't afraid to say it.
Her rep came from one woman on the yard who unfortunately had the YO's ear. Not nice to see and I played no part in it and always said I liked her and defended her for er if she wasn't around to do it herself.
This woman didn't stand a chance. She left if her own accord to move closer to home.
 

ladyt25

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30 November 2007
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7,792
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Leeds
I think you do right - you have to just treat people how you'd want to be treated and take them at face value. I think it's extremely unlikely the person is going to come on here and realise this is about them seeing as people all over the country move yards all the time so, unless you have already made yourself known (ie your username etc) then why would they assume it's about them! Maybe it would do some people good (I imagine there's a few) to read that this is what effect their behaviour has when they move yards as their reputation precedes them!
 

friesian76

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5 September 2011
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110
Location
Surrey
People have either heard of new liveries (maybe bad) or not know them at all. I usually take people as i find them although i made a mistake with one lady. She had been next to me for about 2 years before her true colours showed. Found out after that rumours about her were true and she had been on many yards previously and asked to leave one before and only let back on to make up the numbers, aparently liveries there were very unhappy. When she came to our yard she was quiet polite and nice! My advice and (i wish id done this) is to be polite but not get too deeply involved. After all her behaviour that has since shown, throwing her toys out of her pram, obsessive cleaning and i mean obsessive of both horse and yard! moaning about everything and nothing if it was up to me I would ask her to leave. Sadly im not in charge :-(
 

risky business

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22 April 2010
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kent
I think it's a bit unrealistic that this person OP is on about is going to know this post is about them.. No names, location or anything of the sort have been mentioned it could be about anybody, anywhere.

OP just do what you have done and treat her as if you'd never heard anything, people can get these big reputations from one small silly thing that over time turns into a crime! Just take her as she behaves towards you, I used to just keep to myself on yards anyway that way you end up not involved when things can go pear shaped.
 
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