Oh hello confidence, welcome back!

Crosshill Pacers

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*** LONG POST ALERT - GRAB A CUPPA & A BISCUIT AND SETTLE IN ***

Some of you may be aware of my confidence issues from my other posts, which stem from a combination of a nutty mare, a bad fall and then several years out of the saddle. In August I bit the bullet and got back into riding on my 4yo recently retired Standardbred pacer, and I have been exceptionally fortunate to own such a calm, honest and trusting horse who takes on every challenge I put in front of her. So far we've completed a nine-mile fun ride (both our first), and hunted seven times during the winter, however she's on a holiday at the moment due to me having no time to ride her and her needing to put a bit of weight on.

Anyway, despite Big Ears being such a confidence-giver, I still beat myself up over my (in)ability to ride. I have convinced myself that I won't be good at anything I try, so I therefore don't try it at all. There's days when I think my Big Ears would be better off with someone who knows what they're doing, or who can take things to a higher level with her. So it's a self-confidence thing as well as a confidence-to-ride thing.

This weekend my boss and I took two of the racehorses to a qualifier and workout day near Ammanford; afterwards I stayed with a friend for the remainder of the weekend. Yesterday we went for a hack on her 16.2hh ex-racehorse Beama and her current racehorse Jiggy. I've ridden Beama before but only around their track at the yard, so was a bit nervous about going through the villages and up into the forestry. Despite the high amount of traffic and the scramblers/motorbikes in the forestry, he was a perfect gentleman though. The majority of the hack was in walk with a few stretches of trotting, so we decided to have a canter up a hill on the outskirts of the forestry. It was at this point that Beama decided to get himself worked up, and I panicked that if I cantered him up the hill he'd do something stupid (I'm terrified of being bucked off - again!), so my friend suggested we switch horses as Jiggy was as cool as a cucumber (despite being nearly 100% race fit and working out yesterday in 2.04 for a mile). Even she said Beams was a bit worked up, but she knows him inside out and isn't afraid to tell him off if he's being a div!

This was when the real fun started! Beama canters and Jiggy still paces most of the time, so we put them to work up a few hills which immediately boosted my confidence. After that we headed back to the yard along a bridlepath that runs parallel to the main road/dual carriageway (encountering two boys along the way who thought it would be funny to scare the horses by shouting and throwing a football around - we laughed because these horses have raced for 7 & 8 years respectively, it'll take more than that to scare them!). We decided to have a pacing race along the path because it was straight, flat and there was nobody around - it was so exhilarating! I knew that Jiggy could go so much faster than I let him but he slowed up when I asked (another confidence boost). We then found an old playing field that my friend said she used to race around on her pony, so I suggested we have a pacing race - we hooned around like two children, squealing and laughing whilst the boys paced flat out and leaned into the corners. It was so much fun :D when we got back to the yard my friend wanted me to see how smooth Jiggy's canter is so we cantered around the track for a few laps and she was right, he has the most wonderful paces.

Jiggy went back to his stable then and we decided to have a pop over a few jumps with Beama. We were like two children putting fences up and taking it in turns to jump on and off our 'pony', pacing and cantering up the hill and back round for the jumps at the bottom. I haven't jumped for about seven or eight years (bar once last summer on a RS horse) and was honestly terrified, but Beama loves his jumping, always finds his stride (despite being unable to make his mind up whether to pace or trot) and pulls up the other side when asked. I couldn't stop once I'd started, although I stuck to the lowest height whereas my friend was jumping pallets and doubles and all sorts! When we were finished I was grinning like a cheshire cat :D

I made sure to thank both Beama and Jiggy before we left the yard, and am feeling so much more confident in my ability to ride, and my ability to ride different horses.

Here's Jiggy after our hack/racing/cantering around the track:

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And here's me jumping on Beama - please don't slate my position, I was enjoying myself too much and just holding on as best I could!:

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Now my next challenge is to get on one of the racehorses at our yard. He's been backed by my boss and my friend who has Jiggy and Beama jumped on him bareback on Saturday to show me that he's as quiet as a lamb. I know my boss wouldn't let me ride him if he didn't think he was safe, so wish me luck!

Thanks for reading :) well done for getting through it all!
 
Yay! Well done you :D I'm helping my friend getting her confidence back with Ned and another pony called Ziggy. It was fab to see her do a jump, even if it was only about a foot :)

Sounds like you had a great day! Lovely beautiful horses too :D
 
Lovely to read, I think riding can get too serious sometimes and its good to just have fun!

Yes, and I judge myself by others standards. So my friend can do decent-sized XC jumps on the grey horse in the photo, and then I do the small jumps and feel a bit inadequate. That feeling lasted all of about 30 seconds once I'd actually started though, it was so much fun popping over them!

Yay! Well done you :D I'm helping my friend getting her confidence back with Ned and another pony called Ziggy. It was fab to see her do a jump, even if it was only about a foot :)

Sounds like you had a great day! Lovely beautiful horses too :D

Thank you :) I'm hoping to go down there again in a few weeks just to do it all again, it's a shame we live over an hour apart :(

They're both Standardbreds by the way ;)
 
Hello op's confidence **waves** have you seen mine?

This made me chuckle :) I found that it was my friend's horse who had my confidence, he'd been holding on to it until I was ready and now he's given it back to me!

OH told me it would do me the world of good to ride a couple of different horses, and he was right. Perhaps you could try that? Or alternatively spend time with a horsey friend who tells you you can do whatever you set your mind to!
 
Hee! My confidence was originally lurking around a big, black riding school cob called Dessie, but now I'm finding bits of it squirrelled away in every horse I ride.
 
Hee! My confidence was originally lurking around a big, black riding school cob called Dessie, but now I'm finding bits of it squirrelled away in every horse I ride.

I'm hoping to find a bit more hidden away in a big lumper called Big Mac this week, he looks like he's harbouring some when he's plodding around the yard :)

What a great post and nice pics, youre doing great :D

Thank you - I was a bit nervous about posting the photos in case everyone thought 'oh get her away from horses, she's a total idiot', because I'm always worrying that my hands aren't right, or my heels, or my toes, or my face or you get the jist. I was told a few months ago that I wasn't a 'proper rider' and that all I do is talk about riding instead of doing it. I felt quite smug when I showed the person photos of me jumping on Beama (even though it was like five millimetres off the ground!). I wanted to say 'that's me, not falling off a horse, or sitting like a sack of spuds, or panicking because I can't do it'.
 
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