Oh, I want a proper horse :(

FoxTrotx

FoxTrotx

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Just a whiny self indulgent post really.
I knew my girl had issues when I bought her (although I had no idea how many or how serious they would turn out to be) and we had made so much progress on literally everything from handling to riding, I really felt like we were getting somewhere but I left her for 5 days (obviously being cared for by people I trust) and she's become the brat she was when I bought her 9 months ago.

Is it really mean of me to feel like just selling her to someone that wants to happy hack and buying something that I can actually take out and about? Don't get me wrong, I did really enjoy riding her and she had become really affectionate, she doesn't exactly scare me (I know she does alot of people), I just find her hissy fits frustrating after she'd been going so well. I think I just feel like I've got to rebuild all the trust over again and I just don't feel like another nine months pottering 'gently gently' with her when she bloody well knows I'm not going to hurt her.

Just a moan 'cause I'm feeling sorry for myself really :(
And I'm highly unlikely to actually go through with parting with her ;)
 
Sounds like you are having a really off day, don't be too disheartened, I doubt she will have completely reverted back.

My friend has days like this, her mare is really hard work but when she has a breakthrough its just lovely to watch.

How bad are we talking when you mention issues?
 
When I got her issues included;
Couldn't touch her ears,
Very food agressive,
Agressive to other horses,
Reared when frightened (in hand and under saddle),
Terrified of spray bottles (probably quite common but annoying none the less)
Galloped-Launched-Bronked was her version of jumping,
Old mouth injuries discovered by the EDT explaining why she will not accept a bit happily,
And she seemed to dislike people, not violently but she clearly didn't want to be with you.

We've made tons of progress on every single one of these things, she really was a very different and very affectionate mare until yesterday. She just seems to have reverted back to being stand offish and bratty when shes not getting her own way :(
 
Sounds like you have had some fun then;)

Does she suffer with her seasons? friends mare goes back to being a nightmare....she is now trying supplements and may end up having to investigate.

When you go through all of this with a horse it does bring you closer together (IMO). It sounds like she has had a really rough time and 9 months isn't that long (although it probably seems it).

How old is she? she is obviously not trusting of people and perhaps she struggled to have other people. Maybe she needs more handling by others to take the pressure of you a bit. My friends mare is better since changing yards...she gets handled by more people and is not so clingy...she is still a one woman horse (I rode her today and she hates me:D) but she has improved.
 
Parker79 said:
Sounds like you are having a really off day, don't be too disheartened, I doubt she will have completely reverted back.
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This /\ It is hard not to be disheartened sometimes, we all get bad days with our neds I am sure. I have had a bit of an emotional roller coaster since losing my late mare and buying the new young girl. What I am trying to say it what parker79 said, I am trying to add value but failing I think lol! Chin up :)
 
She does come into season at the drop of a hat although she is actually far friendlier when she is, much lazier to ride though!

I did get the feeling she was grumpy with me for leaving her but I didn't know if horse emotions ran that deep, lol. I left her with people she knows (my field share and her sharer) that she sees every day and they do feed her carrots and are friendly towards her. I did say they could ride her as she had got so much better and they are both happy hackers that wouldn't ask too much of her (probably partly because they've seen her hissy fits in full force if she doesn't feel like working).

Will have a look into hormone supplements if she doesn't improve.
 
Give it a few days & she'll be back how she was I reckon. I've had mine 21 years, no issues whatsoever (well, not since she was young!) And she still sulks when I go away. Will be initially happy to see me, then remembers she isn't happy with me. Is as good as usual, but not at all affectionate for the first few hours. Could be the same temporary thing with yours.
 
If she's had alot of issues due to tough handling in the past then you being away may of knocked her confidence. She's had to put her trust in other people and they'll of handled her differently also and for a fragile horse that's alot to deal with!

These set backs will come along but keep going with the firm but fair handling xx
 
Horses definately sulk! my friends mare has been a major learning curve for me.....she is lovely for her owner but totally hates me....now I've never found this before, I'm very quiet around horses and tend to get on with them all...except this one! I have tried everything! she simply loves her owner and no-one else will do!

She will tolerate me most days, I hacked her out today as owner on holiday and she was ok but the whole thing was strained....maybe its the same thing!

The 2 years with my mare were 'getting to know each other' whereas my new gelding is all over me and took about a week!....I think if you have the love and respect of a mare its just special.

Use your instincts...if she remains grumpy then she might be trying to tell you something
 
Sorry, she is 15, sound as a pound and has been completly safe to ride for about the last 4 or 5 months (by safe I mean I wouldn't have heart failure watching someone else ride her ;)). Her behaviour today was pretty dangerous to be honest, she wouldn't stand for me to tighten her girth (she can fidget but usually stands fine but today she just kept trying to walk off, when I'd done the girth I did some walk to halt which resulted in her rearing in protest.) She was very strong and 'pully' in trot at first and I was worried that she'd slip in the corners because she wasn't listening to me. She started working nicely after about 20 minutes so I popped a little crosspole but she reverted back to her gallop launch bronc tactics. She did this twice before she jumped properly then she was brilliant, just like she was before I left. She didn't want to know me afterwards though.
 
I'm confident the ridden side will return to normal I just feel like she hates me at the minute :(

I think the difference in feeling from today and previously was today she gave up and did it because I told her to and she knows it doesn't matter what she does I will get back on and persevere (even with freshly broken fingers....) but before she was doing it because I asked and she wanted to. I think its the difference between asking and telling.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with a 'funny' mare, I really hope she forgives me for leaving her :(
 
She was ridden, I don't think she was hacked as she can be a pig to get off the drive if she thinks she can get away with it (she almost went backwards down the ditch the first time I tried, I rarely have a problem now though). The lady that rode her usually rides my friend's sensitive ex racer and gets in well with him but she's not that confident (especially as she has seen what my girl can do if she doesn't want to work) so trusted that she'd gently school her. I think maybe she could have been a little too gentle :o
 
FoxTrotx said:
I did get the feeling she was grumpy with me for leaving her but I didn't know if horse emotions ran that deep, lol. I left her with people she knows (my field share and her sharer) that she sees every day and they do feed her carrots and are friendly towards her.
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Oh they do run that deep! One of mine loses weight when I go away due to stress, even if it's my OH who looks after her (who she sees every day) or my good friend who does them when we're both away. Also trashes her bed. Then I get back and it's a mixture of 'thank goodness you're home' and grumpy 'you shouldn't have left me!'. If I don't go down even on an evening and OH does her, she's foul with me the next day. Sounds like your mare had begun to really believe she could trust you and bond with you, then you went away and she felt abandoned. Now she's kind of saying 'why should I bother? You'll just leave me.' This should pass, don't worry too much.
 
Would your mare have tensed up with a different rider? I know that sounds stupid...but we have real trouble getting my friends mare to relax and she does get back trouble.
 
She could have tensed up with a different rider because I wasn't there. The lady has ridden her lots of times before but its always been after me and I have always been there while she rode.

I hope she forgives me :P
 
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