Ok help needed - how to stop unnecessary overworrying/overthinking?

[emfen1305]

Ok I have always been an overthinker and a worrier since I can remember, one of those people who assumes that I've done something wrong if someone doesn't quite say hello in the usual way or if my boss says "can we have quick chat" I automatically assume I am getting the sack and practically write my resignation letter.

This is starting to affect my enjoyment of my horse. For example, I did something very silly and used some undiluted solution to clean my boys sheath having misread the instructions, my lad now has a swollen sheath, it is directly related as he has never had it before and got it Sunday morning after I had cleaned it on Saturday night. I have obsessively googled, messaged the willy washing lady (who was coming out at the end of the month anyway), rang the vet, and spoken to just about everyone I trust on the yard and they have all said the same thing, clean with cool boiled water, give danilon (antihistamines as well as recommend by WW) and keep him moving and keep an eye on him to see if he can wee so that's the plan, yet here I am still googling, panicking and generally feeling like a terrible person despite having an exact action plan and him being totally normal otherwise. I basically did no work today because I was so worried and even asked to leave early so I could get to the yard and check on him despite friends being there. This is just one example of about 10 things that I have panicked about this month, I worry and overthink the smallest of things when it comes to him that it's getting beyond silly. I love having him and being around him and honestly don't know what I would do if i didn't have a horse but it also stresses me out at the same time, I wish I could just be one of those people who just gets on with stuff!

Does anyone have any advice or anything to read that might help? Doesn't have to be to do with horses as fairly sure it is just a fault in my brain and the horse brings out the worst in it. I don't really know what else to do to stop!

 

[ester]

I worry about everything anyway, but I am worse with any of my animals, I think it is because I hold such a level of responsibility over them.
I am better once I have a plan though, albeit even better if said plan works.
I'm worse if I don't have any big stuff to worry about like moving house .

I haven't found a solution, sorry!

 

[Gallidgirl]

How about trying meditation, yoga or mindfulness?

Just to try and settle your brain so you can focus. There’s lots of apps these days that are guided. Give it a try 😊

 

[blitznbobs]

Get a book on NLP

 

[MotherOfChickens]

Get more horses, seriously if you have three you stop worrying so much.

Seriously though, sounds like you could use some CBT to help stop you overthinking and getting stressy.

 

[emfen1305]

Well googling CBT/NLP will definitely keep me busy and give me something else to think about!

 

[ester]

I overthink CBT but it works for some I have developed a particular sort of hatred for it.

Mindfulness:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X

 

[Boulty]

I erm get stuck in a weird cycle of trying to chill the hell out, missing things that could have been resolved earlier had they been picked up & addressed & then going on hyper-alert again for a bit. (Mind you I've got a horse with a fair few health issues whose management has to be "just so" where the definition of "just so" can be a fluid thing & what works in one season may not work in another... I also have a job where picking up on every detail is advantageous & switching off & relaxing is potentially harmful)

 

[alainax]

Quite often the trouble is not anxiety per se, but a perceived lack of control.

Saying “ don’t worry, it’ll be fine won’t work” .

If you worry about if you will lose your job and can’t pay the bills, the focus on saving money or training for a new career. The main way to reduce anxiety is to mitigate the unknown. The more cards you hold, the easier it becomes.

The horse will be fine. If you had washed I the shower with car shampoo you would be a little itchy, but perfectly fine. Most of this stuff is (s) laurel sulphate (soap) anyways!

Do you have someone objective to talk to. ?

 

[Mule]

I'd give mindfulness a go. It's great for anxiety. There's loads of free online resources. CBT is great too.

 

[Bexx]

I feel like I could have written your post. I worry about everything to the point where it really affects my life. It got so bad that before Christmas I had a big panic attack and couldn't leave the house. I have since been having sessions of CBT through talking changes. You can self refer to them and they give you strategies to cope with your feelings of worry. Just Google the number for your area and give them a call

 

[MotherOfChickens]

I overthink CBT but it works for some I have developed a particular sort of hatred for it.

Mindfulness:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X

I didn't care for it for general life anxiety but it has helped me recently with some horse stuff. But yes, whatever helps, I see it all as sports coaching tbh and have used NLP and TFT with good results for performance type stuff.

 

[CavaloBranco]

There's always gin......

 

[Sprat]

I have exactly the same problem, but it is usually over ridden work.

I generally find that wine helps.

 

[The Trooper]

I have ADHD and, Anxiety and Depression. I'm medicated for both but these 2/3 conditions make me a horrific over thinker so I know how it feels.

Unfortunately i don't really have any advice to give other than just taking things for what they are and doing what needs to be done, I google everything. A cough to me quickly escalated to lung cancer.

I'm lucky that my partner, close friends and relatives all know what i am like and can usually talk some sense into me, sometimes doesn't help but occasionally can make me feel a little better.

 

[Shavings]

hypnotherapy, i am a worried and every thing always is the worse case in my head.
i had hypno last year and i am getting it done again in April
really helps me think more clearly and improved a lot of ares of my life including sleep!

 

[Fruitcake]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Worry-Tric...F8&qid=1548794488&sr=1-1&keywords=Worry+trick

I’ve read lots and this was really helpful.
Some people find CBT helpful too but, although some of the techniques can work for me, I agree with the post above about it being easy to overthink.

Finding something to divert your attention might work. Call a friend (non-horsey) and talk about something different, watch a film or whatever works or you.
On another note, “the willy washing woman”? Is this really a thing? Am I really ignorant that I’ve never heard of this? How would one go about Googling her? Is that all she does? I wonder how she introduces herself to new people when they ask what she does for a job! So many questions! (Maybe I’m overthinking this too!)

 

[Pinkvboots]

I have exactly the same problem, but it is usually over ridden work.

I generally find that wine helps.

2 glasses of wine and I ride so much better I always have a few glasses before a showing class, I just don't breath in the direction of the judge

 

[emfen1305]

Thanks all for your helpful suggestions My colleague sent me some good apps today too so going to work through some of them and some articles.

Fiona - haha yes! Though it isn't her full time job (she just does evenings and weekends!). My gelding is particularly disgusting hence my feeble attempt but all of the geldings have benefitted from having their bits look at. She's on Equine Hygiene UK on FB and is based around Cheshire though I think she has formed a bit of an alliance with other willy washers from around the country so can put you in touch! Take my advice, do not do it yourself, and if you do, make sure you read the labels properly!! My poor lad is still suffering and there is nothing I can do for him

 

[cauda equina]

No help for now, but just for the future - my vets say use nothing but warm water for washing sheaths.
Hope your boy settles soon OP

 

[southerncomfort]

How about trying meditation, yoga or mindfulness?

Just to try and settle your brain so you can focus. There’s lots of apps these days that are guided. Give it a try 😊

Absolutely agree with this. My anxiety was horrifically bad recently. In desperation I downloaded an app called Lets Meditate: Guided Meditation. It has made a huge difference to my life! I feel so much more relaxed and don't go in to panic mode about everything.

I also take a magnesium supplement as a deficiency can affect us just as badly as horses.

 

[southerncomfort]

I overthink CBT but it works for some I have developed a particular sort of hatred for it.

Mindfulness:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X

I've been through CBT twice and it just made everything so much worse.

It felt like picking at a scab until it bled again if you know what I mean. Yes it helped me realise what was causing the issues but left me with nothing to deal with the fallout from that.

 

[D66]

Guided meditation helped me, I used some from youtube by Jason Stephenson. I googled "guided meditation sleep youtube".

 

[cundlegreen]

Well googling CBT/NLP will definitely keep me busy and give me something else to think about!

Try essential oils. Lavender, Bergamot and Roman Chamomile would be a good blend. But do get good quality ones. PM me if you want any help with that.

 

[Antw23uk]

You need therapy not a horse forum!

 

[emfen1305]

You need therapy not a horse forum!

Mind how you write things in future, you could very well offend or upset someone who is feeling not at the top of their game, and it's not the first time you have been rude and abrupt on one of my posts. If you don't have anything constructive to say then please scroll on.

 

[emfen1305]

Thanks all - for anyone else looking at this post, my colleague also introduced me to "worry time" - not an app but this seems to have been quite helpful as well. Here is more info for anyone interested: https://www.anxieties.com/102/self-help-practice-4-create-worry-time#.XFGIgFz7TIU

 

[Antw23uk]

Mind how you write things in future, you could very well offend or upset someone who is feeling not at the top of their game, and it's not the first time you have been rude and abrupt on one of my posts. If you don't have anything constructive to say then please scroll on.

Get a grip. I thought it was very constructive actually. Your welcome.

 

[handbagsandhay]

Fellow anxiety sufferer here! And a worrier! i find yoga helps! I just follow a youtube video. Also Basil tea

Don't stress yourself too much about your boy - he will be fine! When I first started exercising the ex racehorse I ride now the first time I got on him he gave me a fright and I yanked on his mouth and felt terrible about it for days. But he has forgiven me. I sympathise with you it isn't nice

 

[southerncomfort]

Deleted