ok tonight i finally admitted to self

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babymare

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i can not and will not ride in front of people - ridden for 41yrs but last 4 i have had confidence issues. had brill lessons 2 yrs ago but now accepted i cant - i love my 2 i love working them on ground just being aroud them but I cant ride them so hey ho :) i have finally accepted it :)
 
Never say never!! You just need to find the right people to give you confidence, or try NLP, its amazing!!

Having said that, if you dont have the "burning NEED" to ride, then relax and just enjoy being around the horses. Best wishes
 
babymare said:
i can not and will not ride in front of people - ridden for 41yrs but last 4 i have had confidence issues. had brill lessons 2 yrs ago but now accepted i cant - i love my 2 i love working them on ground just being aroud them but I cant ride them so hey ho :) i have finally accepted it :)
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Snap! But mine arose from a bad fall 7 years ago when trying a pony for my daughter. Confidence gone and not come back. Would ride anything and everything before then. I know I'm not a bad rider and have a good seat and very light hands but I'm terrified of riding other horses and of riding in front of other people. Have had quite a few lessons to try and help but to no avail. I would love to have the confidence that I used to have. I do however love caring for them and just being around them. Also have bags of patience for ground work so it does have its rewards I suppose.
 
thats just it ok all on yard want to ride ride ride - i love going out with barrow and rag worting and watching the herd leaning on fork like a counsil worker lol - i love chatting to my 2 grooming them just being with them - i actually love mucking out but ask me to get in saddle i start to have panick attacks - ok if novice could understand but have trained worked and free lanced done one day events folllowed hunts i rebacked my mare who was dangerous and unrideable so why now do i have issues . why?
 
I think you shouldn't worry at all about riding and just enjoy being with your horses. If you do ever decide you want to ride again then they are there, and if not there are plenty of things you can do on the ground together anyway.
 
I was always a happy hacker and not competitive but have not ridden for years. I still adore being around them. If you are truely happy not to ride then that is fine. I did try again a few years ago but decided it was not for me. It is perfectly possible to enjoy horses without riding. If my daughter ever gives up I am going to take up showing mini *****lands - but don't tell her or my OH:D

If you miss riding then I think you should look for a really really good instructor and go for it. Good luck whatever you do.
 
micra i have not had a falll - ok bronco offed 2 yrs ago - but its riding in front of people i cant do - i have been around the horsey sect so long and know how bitchy it is esp on yards - im a ok rider i also know have lots to learn but i have also heard how ppl slate you and given personal life i cant take that so ok i have accpeted it :(
 
I bought 2 weanlings last autumn. The thought of riding them when they are older doesnt appeal at all any more,but just teaching them to lead and be groomed is enough for me.
 
People are always going to criticise and comment, it's human nature. If your yard's particularly bitchy can't you move? Has your nose been put out recently, or does this run a little deeper?

If it's fear of what people say rather than lack of confidence, it could be you're suffering from some kind of anxiety disorder. It would be a shame if it stops you riding. Do you suffer any other symptoms along these lines?
 
Honey, don't ride in front of other people! Just take your two out for hacks, or even 100 yards down the road to eat a bit of verge, and to hell with what other people think, don't think etc. They're your horses, look after them well, and do with them what you enjoy doing. I fnecessary,move them (if you're not at home) to a private rental or a farm, where everybody will be far too busy trying to earn a living than to beother with what you are doing/not doing. Stick with it, but, if you can't bear to ride again, then that's your perogative too. Just dust them and enjoy them - they won't mind!
 
Although I think it is perfectly OK to have horses and not ride I do think it is a shame not to ride because of the 'other people' thing. When I went past 40 :o I no longer gave a flying fig about stuff and people could just accept me as I was or go swivel :cool:

Maybe you are on the wrong yard? I am assuming you don't sit the wrong way round or put your tack on upside down :cool: so really with 41 years experience you should be showing them a thing or two :)
 
Sometimes just saying to yourself that its ok to not do something really takes the pressure off and you may just end up doing the thing anyway because its become less of an issue....

If you don't want to ride....don't ride. Enjoy your horses in your own way. OH has a horse he rarely rides ( dodgy knee-him, not her) but he still enjoys faffing around with her and she's as happy as larry.

I agree with RebelRebel...I'm past 40 and in the 'don't give a stuff' what others think frame of mind too.:rolleyes: Tis very liberating.:D
 
Hey if I put as much effort into my riding (or getting my back side in gear and having some lessons) as I do into grooming, standing by the gate watching them graze, having one way conversations and telling my lad how beautiful he is, I'd probably be a better rider too. :D but my neds are happy, I'm happy and I get by.

Stick to what you enjoy I say.

But I bet half of it is in your head and your no doubt being too hard on yourself, if you can ride then you can ride, then it's up to you what ability you want to go to, so don't compare yourself to others on the yard.
 
I hope you don't think this comes out wrong, but the fact that you are posting about it suggests to me that you would like to ride. I think it's a shame you worry so much about other people. God knows what people think when I go out on my friend's 13.3 h/weight cob (I am pretty far from that magical 10.5 stone, I like to think I'm 'pudding' shaped) I really don't care though!!

Sounds to me like you worry about people specifically on your yard?? Life's too short to be unhappy... :D I hope eventually you find your confidence, be it on or off a horse... :D x
 
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