Old horse being sold on...gutted!! (also in CR)

kerryflower

kerryflower

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Hey guys. Have had utterly **** day and need to get it all out.

Friends horse had to be PTS this morning and it was very sad as expected and then came home to a text from the owner of my previous horse. I sold him last year as he just didn't want to event. Fab with the dressage and as my "riding horse" but just wasn't fussed on jumping. Depended on the mood he was in on the day. I'd had him 6 years and it was utterly heart breaking to sell him but found a lovely lady to have him. She sadly is going to be out of action as she has severe tennis elbow and the physio has said it will be at least ten months before she can do anything strenuous. She is having to sell her other horse so that her daughter can keep her horse due to difficult financial times. Absolutly GUTTED!!! He is a one person horse and he deserved a good home for life. He is crabby in stable so to find someone who loved him depsite that was a task and I thought I had it sussed.

I don't know what to do. I'd love to have him back just so I know he is Ok but I know that I couldn't afford to keep 2 and also that I couldn't do what I wanted with him. Am just gutted as thought he had a home for life and he doesn't deserve to be moved on again. He was such a superstar for me growing up and desperately wanted to give him the best and now feel like I've failed :(
 
I do sympathise, but if you think he deserves a really good loving home for life and he is a one person horse - remember, you sold him on first.

Hope he finds another good home though x
 
I know its tough but as he wasnt the horse for you and the new owner can nolonger offer him the great home may be its for the best.

All you can do is maybe look at the wanted adds and put then in touch with the current owner and ask that when he is sold they pass on your number so you can keep in touch when he moves on.
 
I also sympathise. However, when you sell a horse you need to accept that that is the end, realistically, of your involvement in decisions relating to that horse. His owner has taken the time to let you know, rather than you finding out via "jungle drums", and if he is as difficult as you say, I'm sure she will take time to find him a suitable new home. Much as we would love it, it is not always possible to give horses homes for life. Circumstances DO change, and we have to adapt to those changes. Please don't be tempted to have him back, as it will put you in a difficult financial situation, and the reasons for you NOT keeping him have not changed. Good Luck, and (((Hugs))) on a generally cr**py day.
 
Thanks all. I just feel so gutted that I haven't been able to "do right by him". Understand the comments that if I loved him so much etc I should have kept him but object slightly as I was trying to turn him into something he didn't want to be. It wasn't fair on him or me to keep trying with the eventing and jumping when he just didn;t want to do it. I'm still young and work my arse off to keep a horse and to not be able to do even low level stuff that I wanted to do just seemed silly. We just weren't on the same page and I felt it was kinder to let him go to someone who woudl have fun and enjoy him doing the stuff he enjoyed and wanted to do.

Anyway am trying to get the word out to my friends etc who knew him and hope I can at least try to find him somewhere. I know his owner is gutted and if it wasn't for the finances woudl keep him and I don;t blame or am angry or anythign with her, just gutted for him.
 
Don't allow anyone to send you on a guilt trip, and don't buy your own ticket, either!
You bought a horse to do a job, it turned out he was unable to do that job. Square peg, round hole, and all that. You did the right thing by selling him, and now you mustn't beat yourself up, and stress yourself out finding him a home. You did it once, and there is no need to do it again. Obviously bear people in mind if you know they are looking, as you would if any friend asked. You obviously work hard to support your horse, which is your hobby, to compete, and give you pleasure. If you wanted a pony to brush,love and not compete/ride, you would have picked up one of these little scraps from the markets. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, highly commendable if you can afford it. However, if someone cannot be quite so altruistic towards a horse, that is not a problem either. Far better to put the peg in the correct shaped hole, than everyone being miserable.
 
Steady on, a horse is an expensive pastime and there is no reason if a horse can do a job better for someone else, not to sell them on. The issue is here Kerry still loves him, just because he didn't suit her needs doesn't mean her love for him stopped, so I think its nice she still cares.
 
I'm not being caught out by that one ever again. I loan out, rather than sell. Economics don't come into it. Not their fault if they don't suit and I have a funny attitude towards money for a life. I'm lucky though, as now I can afford to hang on to them and have another. When I wasn't this fortunate and was significantly less well off than I am now, I hung onto the 'square peg' and only moved on when he made the move which I couldn't accompany him on. The other square peg I had, I loaned out. She died there last December.

Doesn't stop me feeling for you, as I know how I'd feel.
 
Thanks guys. I'm feeling a bit better now. I am just too much of a softy and beating myself up about it but I know she loves him and will hopefully find a lovely home. I have spread the word locally to people who knew him from when I had him so that may come to somehting but I do know that it is her decision to make. If I wasn't a 3rd year uni student then I wuld find the money to have him back but juggling 3 jobs plus uni means I simply haven't got the time to work anymore to fund a npother horse and look after 2 in the way I woudl want them to be looked after :(

I will do all I can but if that is just speakin to potential buyers or going to vet new homes with owner then so be it. Ihave contacted osme people with wanted ads too.

Thanks for all your advice and so glad it's not just me being a silly control freak!

Groom 42 - great analogy! and MIsinterpretated I'm so glad you non jumpers are out there!

Jen you're a star :)
 
Groom42 said:
Don't allow anyone to send you on a guilt trip, and don't buy your own ticket, either!
You bought a horse to do a job, it turned out he was unable to do that job. Square peg, round hole, and all that. You did the right thing by selling him, and now you mustn't beat yourself up, and stress yourself out finding him a home. You did it once, and there is no need to do it again.
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I quite agree. You did what you needed to at the time - found him what you believed to be a good long term home. I understand how upset you must be, I really do. If the owner is being honest then she has no choice to try to do the same for him, and fingers crossed she'll manage it.

But all this 'you should not have sold him on' stuff is just nasty and uncalled for. Ignore it.

Chin up hun x
 
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