Old Pony PTS?

[SmartieBean09]

Hello, its been an awfully long time since ive posted on here but id love to draw upon your advice as I feel so confused and guilty as hell!

My Pony Dazzle is 28 years old. He has Cushings which is unmedicated. He is unmedicated as the side effects proved worse for his health than allowing him to be himself without the medication. We tried for near on a year at different doses and after several conversations with the vet we decided to let him go unmedicated even if that meant pts could arrive sooner rather than later.

Daz also has COPD, is covered in melanomas and is gradually going blind. Spring last year I discovered I was pregnant and the yard I was on where we were both very happy had restricted turnout and I worried how I was going to cope in pregnancy and with a newborn and so I moved him 1 mile up the road to a field with 1 other where he would be turned out 24/7 with adequate shelter and a stable in bad weather. Last winter he really dropped condition and seemed very sad and so pts was at the back of my mind. However it was just a thought and I decided to wait until this spring before I made a decision.

However, last week I called the vet. I had noticed that he was pooing less and less, despite eating well. I called the vet when he had only pooped 6 times in 24 hours. The vet checked him over and his teeth which are due in June. Vet noticed a fracture and said it was likely to be caused by decay brought on by Cushings and is very common. Its a molar in his lower Jaw and so vet explained op and possible risks etc. I decided to think over options and call them again in the next few days. I decided pts would be the best thing for him. He hasnt seemed himself for a very long time and with all of his other issues and his age I just didnt think it would be fair to extract the tooth and neither would this be a guarantee that it wouldnt happen again, plus there is also a risk of infection for him which he would struggle to fight due to his Cushings.

I guess what im asking is, am I doing the right thing? I just feel so so guilty! Im struggling to spend time with him because I just feel so awful. I love him so much and am feeling guilty that he hasnt been as pampered as he was previously as I just dont have the time at the moment with a newborn and up until we moved stables, he was used to having my time. Im also confused as from scrawling the net Ive read that an X ray is required to determine a fractured tooth? This wasnt done. He is due to be pts tomorrow and I am just struggling with the whole process.

Any advice would be gratefully received. Thank you x

 

[Remi'sMum]

From the details you've given you are totally doing the right thing. Don't feel guilty, spoil him rotten today and say your goodbyes.

It's the hardest decision in the world to make and there's so many emotions at work. You wrote "he hasn't seemed himself for a very long time".... I believe your answer is right there.

Sending virtual hugs xx

 

[Flicker]

I am so sorry to hear of your horrible predicament. From everything you have said, though, it sounds as though you are making absolutely the right decision for your dear pony. Yes the guilt does threaten to overwhelm but that in itself is an indication of just how much you care. When I had my horse PTS a few years back, a good friend said, 'remember that this is only hurting you, he is oblivious' and that's the way it should be. As conscientious horse owners it is our job to absorb the pain so our animals don't have to.
I hope tomorrow goes as well for you as it did for me - our vet and friends were wonderful and made a terrible day as peaceful and gentle as possible. My horse went with the sun on his back and soft grass under his feet and treats in his belly and his loved ones by his side.
Thinking of you.
Hugs x

 

[jrp204]

Never feel guilty about stopping an animal suffering. Give him a good feed out in the sun. You are doing the right thing.

 

[Haniki]

You have made the correct decision, although it is a very hard one.
Better a day too soon, than a day too late.
Too often we keep old animals alive for our own sakes, when it is in their best interest to be PTS.
So sorry for you.

 

[benz]

It sounds to me as if you have done everything possible to give your pony the best life, so you shouldn't feel guilty (although of course you do its natural). Your pony is so lucky to have you as an owner, it does sound as if you and the vet have made the right decision. Im sure your vet would suggst an xray if it was necessary. Hugs x

 

[fabbydo]

You know you are right but nothing will make it easy. You obviously love him very much.
Take care x

 

[misst]

I feel for you. Our old girl was 27 had cushings which did respond a bit to meds but she still had some symptoms. We decided she would not be on very restricted grazing as she hated being alone and lived to eat. She did really well for a couple of years and then the inevitable happened and she got laminitis.
She was shut in a shelter on a thick bed so she could still interact with friends and had adequate bute. After 4 weeks she was tried on a tiny area of poor sandy grass - it came back within 24 hours.
We made the decision to PTS as it was no life for her and she owed us nothing - we owed her everything.
She went to sleep in long grass with her friend beside her and the sun shining 3 years ago - I still miss her but I know it was the right thing.
People said we should have tried harder - but why? Your old man will probably get lami in the end if the teeth don't cause a problem later. They all get something and they deserve a good end if possible.
Good luck and let him go knowing he is loved.

 

[Kezzabell2]

absolutely sounds like the right thing! I had my mare pts last September, she also had cushings and was on 4 prescand a day and it was slowly becoming not enough for her!

 

[Caracarrie]

When my old girl was PTS just over 3 years ago, the vet thanked me for putting her needs ahead of my own. She was steadily deteriorating and I felt that her good days didn't outweigh the bad ones sufficiently anymore. She was happy enough in herself but her old body was just worn out. She was everything to me, we were like two sides of the same coin but when it was over my greatest emotion was relief. She went gently and calmly and with dignity. If I'd left it one more day, two more days I'm quite sure something would have happened and she would have breathed her last in distress, stuck on her side in the mud, or damaged by one of the other horses in the field and I didn't want that for either of us. Your pony has lived long enough, like mine, to become a victim of the ravages of old age and that is a reflection of your love and care for him. Don't feel guilty, feel proud.

 

[splashgirl45]

dont feel guilty, sounds like it is the best decision for him, remember quality of life is the most important thing for our pets..just spoil him today and before the deed and he will go happy....so sorry for you, i went through this with my 25 year old cushings mare in september and although selfishly,i wish she was still here i know i made the right decision for her, if not for me.....good luck for tomorrow...

 

[SmartieBean09]

Thank you everyone for your reassuring words. I'm so sorry that you have all lost your horses too. I'm not sure I could ever own again. My heart is broken.

I've been down this afternoon to spend some time with him and his old owner came down too. We both cried and exchanged stories and it felt so lovely to know that he has a place in both our hearts forever. He's a special boy.

He bucked and hooned at one point while we were there, something I haven't seen him do in over a year. It was lovely to see but he does look old and other than his 2 mins of glory, he looked sad.

I know deep down I'm doing what is best for him but I am absolutely dreading tomorrow and the guilt I am feeling is horrendous and I'm sure will stay with me until I come out of the fog of losing him.

The only thing getting me through this that after losing Jamin I swore I'd do my best to never let him suffer if I could help it and that if the day ever came where we said goodbye that I would be there with him. I'm doing both.

x

 

[Sven]

I wrote this little poem when I made the decision to put my 28 year old to sleep just over a year ago, he told me it was time.

It's not that I don't love you
I know you know that's true
And so it's with a broken heart
I do this thing for you

I will not let you suffer
I'll not let you feel pain
And so I send you off to sleep
Till we can meet again

I miss him dreadfully but I so know it was the right thing to do and I think you know that too. Be kind to yourself x

 

[Pinkvboots]

Your doing the right thing as hard as it is unfortunately we can't have them forever and it sounds like you have given him a lovely life and you will have all those great memories, I will be thinking of you tomorrow x

 

[Chuffy99]

I have just been in the same position albeit my old boy doesn't have Cushings or any major health issues, so we went for the broken tooth removal. It was a dreadful procedure and although I can usually cope I had to come away, with all his other problems he does not need this , well done for loving him and putting him first xx

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Of course you are feeling horrible. It is always hard making "that" call but from what you have written it is the right decision. He's given you lots of pleasure so you have to do the responsible thing and let him go with dignity. My thoughts are with you. X

 

[SmartieBean09]

Thank you everyone for replying. Dazzle crossed Rainbow Bridge today. The sun was shining and he had a full tummy of all things yummy. He went peacefully. It was the right decision and there is relief there now that its all over. He was an amazing pony who I wish I had know much longer than I did. A true gent. My heart is broken and I miss him already but he has gone to a far better place now. A place where he is happiest, feeling his best and galloping across the fields. Sleep tight Dazzle. Say hello to Jamin for me. My heart will cherish you forever. xxxx

 

[SmartieBean09]

I wrote this little poem when I made the decision to put my 28 year old to sleep just over a year ago, he told me it was time.

It's not that I don't love you
I know you know that's true
And so it's with a broken heart
I do this thing for you

I will not let you suffer
I'll not let you feel pain
And so I send you off to sleep
Till we can meet again

I miss him dreadfully but I so know it was the right thing to do and I think you know that too. Be kind to yourself x

Your poem is beautiful Sven xx

 

[Pinkvboots]

Thank you everyone for replying. Dazzle crossed Rainbow Bridge today. The sun was shining and he had a full tummy of all things yummy. He went peacefully. It was the right decision and there is relief there now that its all over. He was an amazing pony who I wish I had know much longer than I did. A true gent. My heart is broken and I miss him already but he has gone to a far better place now. A place where he is happiest, feeling his best and galloping across the fields. Sleep tight Dazzle. Say hello to Jamin for me. My heart will cherish you forever. xxxx

I am glad he had a peaceful passing RIP Dazzle X

 

[meesha]

RIP Dazzle, lucky to have such a caring owner

 

[mytwofriends]

I wrote this little poem when I made the decision to put my 28 year old to sleep just over a year ago, he told me it was time.

It's not that I don't love you
I know you know that's true
And so it's with a broken heart
I do this thing for you

I will not let you suffer
I'll not let you feel pain
And so I send you off to sleep
Till we can meet again

I miss him dreadfully but I so know it was the right thing to do and I think you know that too. Be kind to yourself x

That is beautiful, Sven, and very poignant.

OP, you 100% did the right thing. No more suffering, no more pain. The final act of love and kindness for our precious animals, young or old.

 

[splashgirl45]

R,I,P Dazzle, you had a very caring owner.....OP now remember to look after yourself knowing that you have done the kindest thing for him...