Other wrong things to do while riding: own up!

Suechoccy

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Come on, fess up, none of us are perfeck:

What stupid things have you done while riding:

- ridden hatless, under the wrong impression that the sunglasses on your face is your riding hat, a big "whoops" when someone asks you "Where's your hat?" "On my head", touches head "OMG, it's sunglasses!"

- dropped the reins completely in walk AND taken the hat off in order to pull a longsleeve top off over your head, then hat back on and tie top round your waist.

- held onto a gate at all costs while opening it, despite horse moving away from gate

- dropped reins in walk to extract OS map from case as we'd reached edge of it, opened it to get it folded onto next page at which point person alongside me took off in canter, so did my horse, and the OS map is flattened across front of my face like a giant bed sheet so I can't see a thing and am riding blindly, galloping across stubble...my friend hysterically laughing "this is so funny.You should see yourself" but making no attempt to pull up. Well stubble has to be galloped, doesn't it!
 

tonitot

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I've done the gate thing, I get determined that I won't let go until shes back by the gate!

I've dropped my reins, taken my hat off and re done my pony tail as it was a mess and the loose hairs kept tickling me. This was on a racehorse! I've also taken my hat off to scratch a persistent itch, again on a racehorse, though this one was a little less trustworthy!

I'm always on my phone when I ride which I know is naughty but I cant not read a text I've just been sent, for some reason it really annoys me if I cant, though if I'm on a naughty or unpredictable horse I dont risk it till I feel its safe. I spend most of my time off road so its not too bad ... Is it???

I dont smoke but if I did I'd do that whilst riding too. The best I've seen is people who stick the end of their reins under their knee and roll a fag! I dont think I'd be brave enough for that one.

I also have my earphones in listening to music a lot of the time but I'm still very aware of whats going on around me!
 

happyhack

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dropping reins in canter out hacking and having a panic attack over a spider that casually dropped off my helmet and onto my face... flapping around like a moron - luckily horse knew the ride and stayed on track - pretty sure she was laughing at me though
 

budley95

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Left my tack at home when I cleaned it so went for a hack along the TROT rides in shorts and trainers with pony just in a headcollar and leadrope - I did have a hat and body protector on though! (I wasn't intending to ride but then had some more time than expected!)

I tie my reins in a knot then drop them to do a gate - pony is pretty awesome at gates so just does his job!
 

Polos Mum

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If I'm working from home I'll often answer work e-mails on my blackberry while riding.

Daftest I saw was in Africa watching 2 male lions maybe 100m away (from horse back) it started to drizzle a tiny bit - but very warm. French lady in our group dropped her reins and started getting out/ putting on crinkly waterproof coat!!! Horses were well schooled with the wildlife - but still keeping a good eye on lions, but not that schooled with spooky coats - we had to ask her to stop and wait until we were somewhere safer!!!
 

Archangel

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Riding my little Arab that did that swirly thing with his neck, he did it and his bridle just fell off. It was one of those oooh eeer moments.

Same horse - a pheasant was trying to hide in the grass so I bent down and tickled it with my schooling whip saying "I can see you" (in silly voice). Pheasant went crazy and flew straight in to horse's face (horse was a saint again).

Same horse again - it was absolutely hissing down and I had no coat so put on one of those plastic ponchos they hand out at concerts. Went to get horse in and he came galloping over, took one look at the poncho and I didn't see him again for 3 days.

Same horse's daughter - long reining her out in the woods, she stopped, I didn't and ran straight up the back of her. She was a saint.

Lunging other horse and just caught my toe on something. One minute I was just lunging away, the next I appeared to be charging the horse and finally falling flat on my face. Horse loved it and did all sorts of high school movements whilst I was lying on the ground.
 

Lambkins

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Nope I'm perfect :p hahaha ..oh hold on there was that one time ..oh no wait that wasn't my fault ..and u can't fall off if ur not technically on right ???
 

Suechoccy

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Lambkins, you've just reminded me... on a group ride with some other women I didn't know, we'd dismounted for some reason and one person couldn't get on again. I said I'd give her a legup.
She said "I'm REALLY heavy, you won't manage it."
"I will, I'm strong" I replied.
And I gave her, accidentally, such a massive legup that she went up and over the horse's back, landing in a heap on the ground on his offside.
Cue much hysterical laughter and tena-ladies moments among us all. Horse didn't flinch.
 

Goldenstar

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Removing clothes over head while mounted.
Groom Changing girth without me getting off naughty naughty .
Planning menus while hacking I always preach concerntrate on your horse but hackings often boreing .
Moving horses around yard without headcollars ( when I am on my own so nobody sees )
Getting from one horse to another by jumping across.
Talking on the phone .
Never wearing a BP unless forced .
I could on but I won't .
 

Greylegs

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Also guilty of the "stripping off while on horseback" thing. In my case I was tying to waft a hornet away from my horse when it flew up my shirt sleeve and started to bite my arm. Cue me screaming blue murder and pulling off my shirt, ending up sitting on the horse in just my jods and bra!! ... Much to the amusement of my hacking pals. Next day my arm was swollen to twice its normal size and I had to have a course of antihistamine jabs to sort it out. Ouch!
 

Mince Pie

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RR I love the pheasant story! I remember you posting it before and it cracking me up then :D

Worst thing I've done is get epically lost - twice - and both times the horse has only just come back into work, poor old bugga must have been thought I was trying to kill him!
 

StoptheCavalry

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I don't do this now but I used to stick my whip down my boot and hook my reins over it (obviously didn't want to just drop them that would be dangerous right?!) and just plod along steering with my legs.

Go exploring down a track leading to a viewing field to the airport only to be chased by a bull on the other side of the fence so took off sharpish!
 

Grinchmass

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Taking the big lad in the field, or attempting to. Him throwing his usual I don't want to go on my own and if you try and make me I'll rear... Almost fell into a ditch. Que get off in a huff and bl*ody drag him where I we're supposed to be.

Then trying to remount the 17hh, from the ground (no forward planning when your slightly cheesed off) big lad decides to do his usual and start to walk off when you put your foot in the stirrup. Then the less usual trotting off with his head in the air when I'm scrambling up. He stopped as soon as I managed to scramble up. Cheeky begger.

Oh and the usual stripping off, forgetting you don't have your hat on until it's mentioned... I thought I was a lot cooler than usual. Have been known to take a phone call etc.
 

Shantara

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I've not tried either of these things on Ned, but on Blobby (rip)

Tying reins in a knot and using my whip as a bow. I loved pretending to be Legolas.

Doing an entire hack with only vocal aids. Blobby was amazing and it was entirely possible to not even hold your reins :p
 

Auslander

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Used to ride up to 11 horses a day out in Germany. Instead of taking a break, I had the grooms primed to bring a cup of coffee every half hour - I'd cool down the one I'd just ridden with a coffee in one hand and a fag in the other, then get on the next one by slithering over.
 

mynutmeg

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used to ride up to 11 horses a day out in germany. Instead of taking a break, i had the grooms primed to bring a cup of coffee every half hour - i'd cool down the one i'd just ridden with a coffee in one hand and a fag in the other, then get on the next one by slithering over.

like like like
 

MiniMilton

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I've tried to take my sweater off while mounted, but as I'm a safety freak I kept my hat on in the process. I then get the sweater hopelessly caught up in the hat so its like I have a sack tied over my head and I can't see a thing for ages. So much for safety.

Also dropping a burning fag down the gullet of the saddle while riding was not one of my finer moments
 

Ibblebibble

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omg so many naughty things as a teen, we used to hide our hats in the hedge at the top of the drive and collect them on the way back, ride side by side and swap stirrups, ride sitting backwards, all while riding on quiet country lanes :eek: if i caught my daughter doing half of what i did i'd skin her alive!! i do answer my moby while riding, I'm too nosy not to!
 

9tails

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I had a very near miss once while riding along. I dropped the reins to adjust my hat, horse put her head down and stepped straight through the reins. Her head came up sharply and I leapt off quicker than an overweight middle aged woman should be able to. Amazing what adrenaline does. Horse stood there looking rather confused with her leg up in the air, thankfully her bridle was a Dr Cooks but I don't drop my reins anymore.

I have a fag when we're on a long leisurely hack.
 

tankgirl1

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Used to ride up to 11 horses a day out in Germany. Instead of taking a break, I had the grooms primed to bring a cup of coffee every half hour - I'd cool down the one I'd just ridden with a coffee in one hand and a fag in the other, then get on the next one by slithering over.

Love this lots!
 

babymare

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So many of these have mafe me laugh so much esp Auslunder. but also wander down pony memory lane lol. me ? Oppps smoking whilst sat on Baby :)
 

iggyoggy

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LOL,ROfL ROfL
Riding my little Arab that did that swirly thing with his neck, he did it and his bridle just fell off. It was one of those oooh eeer moments.

Same horse - a pheasant was trying to hide in the grass so I bent down and tickled it with my schooling whip saying "I can see you" (in silly voice). Pheasant went crazy and flew straight in to horse's face (horse was a saint again).

Same horse again - it was absolutely hissing down and I had no coat so put on one of those plastic ponchos they hand out at concerts. Went to get horse in and he came galloping over, took one look at the poncho and I didn't see him again for 3 days.

Same horse's daughter - long reining her out in the woods, she stopped, I didn't and ran straight up the back of her. She was a saint.

Lunging other horse and just caught my toe on something. One minute I was just lunging away, the next I appeared to be charging the horse and finally falling flat on my face. Horse loved it and did all sorts of high school movements whilst I was lying on the ground.
 

JFTDWS

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Used to ride up to 11 horses a day out in Germany. Instead of taking a break, I had the grooms primed to bring a cup of coffee every half hour - I'd cool down the one I'd just ridden with a coffee in one hand and a fag in the other, then get on the next one by slithering over.

:D That's the way to do it :D
 

TandD

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chewing gum while hacking....cant waste a good piece of gum
hacking without holding reins or feet in stirrups (but only on my horse)
i take my hat off to scratch my head.....i cant deal with an itch on the head!!!
get off by swinging my leg over the front of the horse....frequently done in walk :D.....should try the trot now!!!
drunk dressageing....... i have to say i did remember the test :D
 

FionaM12

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My friend Pat and I were teenagers, I had a horse (Bamber), she didn't. So she used to come on hacks with me on her bike.

We decided it would be good if Bamber could pull the bike, especially on hills. Our first attempt involved baling string. We held an end each and Bamber trotted along, the bike whizzing alongside. We'd agreed that if a car came we'd let go of the string and she'd fall behind. So we did that. The string dropped into her spokes and the bike chucked her off in the road as the car passed. :eek3:

Undaunted, we tried another plan. This time, she held the end of my riding crop and whizzed alongside as we happily trotted round the lanes. When a car came, she let go but I didn't, a much better plan. :D

I have to say, there weren't all that many cars in country lanes back then. :)
 
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Gusbear

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Oh goodness. Got me thinking. I've done some very bad/odd things in the past (mind you I was younger and didn't know any better).
Here goes the long list ...

Got first horse and had never ridden before. Let loose on a 1000 acre property. Horse bolted and fell off. Next day same thing and fell off the other side. By day three mum and dad had booked me in for riding lessons on a riding school horse.
Same horse. Went swimming on him in a dam. Clearly remember swimming beside him and then everyone else that was in there with us quickly got out. Horsey decided to do a poo in the water. Got on him and then galloped full pelt down hill to catch up with the others. Mind you no hat, no bridle, just a halter and a lead rope. Me with lead rope in one hand and the other one desperately trying to stop my strapless bikini top from falling down and trying not to slide off wet horse whilst heading down a steep incline at speed.
Same horse yet again. Dad had an old estate car. Me merrily sitting on the tailgate with horsey (an ex racing pacer) happily trotting behind on the end of the lead rope on a road, at dusk.

Riding my ex steeplechaser bareback in a halter in the field. He bolted, I jumped off before he jumped the gate. Result. Horse ok. Me concussion. Again no hat, no bridle, no sense!
Hacking out another horse in side reins (because in Oz in the 80's it was deemed cool to do so).
On mobile whilst riding on the road. OH asking me what the noise was. Me: the sound of my horse cantering on the road.
Smoking whilst riding. Not a good idea during a drought and bush fires on Oz.
Not riding but travelling in horse truck for an hour literally sitting underneath a friend's horse to hold her up as she has damaged a ligament x country and couldn't stand up in the trailer. A little bit dangerous and a lot illegal.
Thankfully I'm now older, wiser and no longer own brave pants.
 
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