Ouch - results of first dressage type lesson - it's LONG!

[pnap]

So had first dressage type lesson with Jack last night.

First instruction given - "Put your stirrups down 6 holes - your perched up there and your lower leg is far too far back". That's right people 6 holes - now I tried to explain to the bloke that at 5'3" I am slightly short in the arse and I wouldn't be able to reach the stirrups at that sort of length - to which he replies oh yes you will but you will have to reach for them. So I duly put the stirrups down by said amount and we set off at a "working trot". I obviously proceed to bounce about like a complete novice to which there is much laughter from yard owner at the side.

Next on the torture list is getting a "noticeable" extension in the trot down the long sides. I can't use my leg properly with the stirrups that long and Jack is lazy in the school at the best of times so nice dressage man starts chasing me like a demon with a lunge whip down long sides. Once we're getting "noticeable" extension in trot he focuses on my position again and starts screaming about pushing my fairy forward and sitting back. It took me a wee while to realise just which part of my anatomy was said "fairy". Bearing in mind I have a high wither saddle, and was in fits of giggles at some 24 year old man shouting about fairies in all sincerity, I did try to accommodate his instructions and managed for a whole side of the school.

Needless to say today I am in agony - however I did enjoy it and have booked another lesson for next month.

 

[jumpthemoon]

PMSL!! Remind me not to book myself a dressage lesson! I would have died of embarrassment I think!

I suppose you were probably too busy trying to 'reach' for the stirrups to be too bothered tho!

No pain, no gain.....

 

[Jo C]

Pmsl. Sorry but I think I would have fallen off laughing if he said anything about fairies to me.

Glad you enjoyed your lesson though.

 

[trundle]

Call me Mrs Thicky, but where is your "fairy"? Have i got one???

Cazza comes along and shouts at me when I ride sometimes, and occasioanlly she hits on a phrase that just sets me off giggling, and my riding goes completely to pot !

 

[Alibear]

Am very glad that in any dressage lesson I've ever had there's been no mention of fairies, queens by the bucket load, but not fairies.

 

[SecretSquirrell379]

If your a Mrs then you have a Fairy!!! its you noonoo, wanjita, wanny or whatever else its called!!!

 

[Natch]

pfffff ha ha ha! that is nothing like any dressage lesson I have ever had!

Although hang on a minute, one instructor who I really like has in the past told me quite openly and loudly to to sit on my F*n*y and put my t***s on full beam!

 

[amandathepanda]

I regularly get told my trainer to stick my tits out... which considering he is as gay as a nine bob note always amuses me. He also accuses me sometimes of wearing a gel bra so I look like I'm sitting properly!

 

[pnap]

Reflecting on it today I'm not really sure why I did enjoy it so much - guess it's just a change to be challenged. It made me realise that when I potter about up there on my own on the pretence of doing some schooling I'm not actually doing anything more than stretching his legs a bit. Might be why he said Jack looked like a camel

. Still at least now I will try and work a little harder when on my own.

 

[Chumsmum]

PMSL

6 holes!! - flipping eck, my feet would be round my pony's knees!

So it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be?

And you are going back for more abuse - well done

I can't say I really 'enjoy' my lessons but still find myself going back for more...

 

[WishfulThinker]

HEHE, that sounds like what generally happens to me!! But at least he just shouted fairy - mine would just say crotch/fanny and then he gives you this exercise to do - which does work.

Stand up, hold your crotch area of jods and like pull it and your jods forwards and sit down - then your sitting on what you need to be.

And for legs I've been told to do round the worlds then just not move as my legs are in teh right position when I finish.

 

[Bossanova]

I dont think it was very fair of him to make you take such a sudden drop in stirrup length- 2 holes at a time over a few lessons would be a more normal way of doing it!

 

[pnap]

Yeah after my disasterous performance I reckon he'll rethink that technique in my next lesson - well the inside of my thighs today certainly hope so. I may be a bit craftier next time and pop them up the top before he tells me to put them down - or not take him at his word and only put them down to where I can still at least reach.