Out of character behavier

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flashfish

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My mare seems to be avoiding me ! She has always been such a well behaved girl, enjoying long hacks exploring,usually on our own ,always very brave & bomb proof! until 3 months ago we had a short hack out & she bucked me off at a canter & she ran home. luckily she had high viz on as she ran down a lane passing oncoming cars, & got home safely.
I still cant think what spooked her, & have had her back, saddle & teeth all checked, & the vet has given her the once over too.
Since this incident she seems to be avoiding contact with me. Before she would always come over to me, enjoy grooming & just playing,generally just being around me, but now if I hold up her head collar she will turn away not wanting to be caught,& when I bring her bridle to her head she will bend her neck completely away from me.
I have lost confidence since my fall, so have only gone out for short hacks in walk & trot, & been doing lots of ground work in the school.
Any Ideas on how to get our bond back again? I have attempted join up but it seems im the last person she wants to be with :confused:
 
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Hmmm... that is a tough one!

It could be that she has lost confidence in you since you lost confidence in her/yourself but it could also be that there is an underlying reason (pain/fear) that caused the bucking incident and is putting her off being ridden.

Is she ridden by anyone else? Do you have an instructor who could look at the two of you together and maybe hop on board themselves for a little bit?

Edited to add that the start of join up is all about banishing your horse from the herd as I understand it. So, possibly not the message you want to be giving right now!
 
I would be spending tons of time with her just on the ground not necessarily working but things like grooming and just fussing her - so that everytime you see her you are not simply seeing her to go out for a ride or school. Even just stick her headcollar on and take her for a short walk to some fresh grass and stand talking to her and patting her etc. whilst she just grazes.

I'd approach her in the field, make a fuss of her and then just make out you are doing something like checking fencing etc. using techniques similar to join up (looking over your shoulder etc. as if inviting her to be with you) and see if she follows. You may be surprised. If you aren't actually needing to catch her and she walks away from you as you approach don't make it into a big deal or follow her just busy yourself with something and keep looking over your shoulder. She may or may not then join you of her own voalition. If she does then play it down. Don't go in for the major fussing just acknowledge she's there and see if she stays with you.

The buck could have been caused by anything from exuberance to something spooked her or she lost her footing or similar and tried to regain it. If it's made you a little nervous she will be sensing this and picking up that something has changed. You need to somehow try to get past this and regain your confidence around her.

As an aside have you tried lunging her since and has there been any other signs or indications that she may buck again?

Keep us posted of how you are getting on.
 
As the incident happened in the autumn, could she have been stung? It may take a while to build up the trust on both sides, as she saw home, rather than you, as safety. Agree with spending time in the field ignoring her and let her come to you (a flask, very warm clothes and a good book are in order:))
 
Hi ,thanks for all your advice.I had butterflys in my stomach even as I drove to the yard this morning ,& still hadnt made my mind up whether to ride or just lunge. But after a mega grooming & fussing session she seemed very relaxed so we went for a ride! She was great & we ventured further than we have gone since the incident. She got a little fussed on the way back but I felt in more confident & in control, & we just kept to walk & trot.
I will certainly try to spend more quality time with her, & will see how she reacts when im just doing jobs in the field,she used to come up to me of her own free will in the field but we seem to have been missing out on that lately,always more difficult in the wet winter months. I shall definitely try those techniques THP mentioned too.
yes FG, Someone else mentioned it could have been a sting, I couldn't see anything but didn't rule it out.
Also I have lunged her but first she just acted a loon,I then tried to keep everything quiet & calm, short sessions went ok, then had tried to lunge her all saddled up with a light sheet on recently ,unfortunatly it was a windy day & she thew a massive buck, possibly the sheet might have unsettled her, then I thought back & realised she had her Hi Viz sheet on the day I came off,so again another factor to think about.
No Tickles, I dont have anyone else ride her or have an instructor, but it might give me a confidence boost if I can find someone to come & see us ride.
In the meantime I will be filling a flask of tea & wonder off down the field to be with my girl & see how we get on. Keep you posted & Thanks
 
That all sounds very positive I think. What I find with ours is that if they have had a major fright or spook somewhere when we go back to the same place or have to pass it they remember the trauma of the frightening time and start getting on their toes. So it could be that she is associating the high viz sheet with whatever it was that upset her.

I would balance off the importance of wearing the high viz, especially since you are sometimes hacking alone, against her reaction. Personally I'd want to retain the sheet so this is something I would work on during your fussing but not going out sessions - groom her or fuss her and put the sheet over her so she associates it with nice things and not necessarily just something she wears when going out for a ride. Sounds like you have made good progress though. It also sounds like she's had some cause whatever it was and isn't turning into some three headed monster all of a sudden. Well done you!
 
Just go and hang out in the field, poo pick, pick weeds, fix fencing, read a book, just be there and she will probably get curious. I tend to greet mine briefly then carry on about my business, she'll come and have a nose periodically!

Walks in hand will probably help and a bit less pressure for you, I find it great for building my own confidence and hers.

I spend a lot of time just hanging out with my horse as I've been unable to ride, so much so I have also befriended a robin who comes to greet me on the footpath and waits for me to disrupt the muckheap for worms! People must think I'm mental but its amazing how curious even wild animals can be :-)
 
Yes that sounds a good idea re putting the Hi Viz sheet on her while grooming etc, I will certainly give that a go, & use it for walks out in hand.
I was pretty sure the hi viz saved her life after she ran off down the country lanes for home, 3 cars & a large van had all pulled over to help stop her ! so would always feel safer if I can get her happy again in it.
We did once ride back to the incident site & yes she was very on her toes so the association was still there. I will have to take her for a walk & let her just graze near that spot.
Sometimes just talking things through with someone "horse, like minded" can help, thanks again for the positive advice.
 
She got a fright, you got a fright, you have both lost your confidence.

Find an understanding instructor who can help you out and even come on hacks with you if necessary. Having a confident person, talking you through what you should be doing does wonders for building up your confidence. The instructor should be able to assess whether your horse needs a bit of re-schooling (by which I mean working with her on a hack, not necessarily in the school) and/or whether you would benefit from riding another horse a couple of times, so that both of you regain your confidence.

If you suspect it's the sheet, ditch it for now. Ignore what she does on the lunge, plenty of horses go ballistic on the lunge or in the field and are perfectly well behaved ridden. Horses know the difference between what is allowed in the field, on the lunge and ridden.
 
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