Out of the mouths of babes....

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FionaM12

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A cute little girl on Mollie's yard, aged about 5, is playing at being a horse.

She has a lead rope dangling from her collar, she's "rearing" with her hands, striking the ground with her foot and whinnying.

"Anyone want this horse?" she shouts. It seems not...

"This horse needs a home!" she cries. No takers.

Finally, "If this horse doesn't find a home it's being put down on Thursday!"



Learning the rehoming on Facebook technique early?
 
The two worst I have heard are "If that dog is naughty, kick it in the mouth...", and "I don't need to work when I'm grown up, because I will get money and a house given to me like Mummy..." :-(
 
I remember my eldest daughter (aged about 6 at the time)asking if the sports cars one of the male vets had at work was a fast car, the answer was yes then she said 'men with fast cars have small willies', she followed that up with 'are Skodas fast cars?' the reply of course was no 'so does dad have a big willy then?' our car at the time was a skoda!!!

a couple of days later she met the new vet at work and yes she did tell him 'you must have a small willy because my mum said you have fast car'

the other embarrassing moment was when she said to a friend of mine 'mmmmm, you have a big nose don't you ...insert name here..?

kids so funny
 
My sister lost 4 stone and looked much better for it. She went to pick up her 4 year old from school and was stood next to a larger lady. My niece marched straight up to her and said in a serious tone, "wow, you are a fat mummy! My mummy used to be fat like you but she isn't now. Maybe you should stop eating cake?" My sister said she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her!
 
I always chuckle when I think of the post on here where someone's small child said in a serious voice that they thought they had laminitis because their feet hurt.
 
Last night my six year old daughter was planning the outfits for Halloween. (she's a planner) she asked me what I was going as,' same as I do every day' I say thinking The Mummy when my 8year old pips up with 'What? The walking Dead'
Cheers babe, love you too!!
 
My friends pony carted her daughter until a fence made from blue rope - the rope caught her face and pulled her off the horse, thankfully she wasn't hurt but when she came over and told us all she had 'lip lash' it caused a bit of laughter!!
 
One of the liveries at the farm next door to me has a little boy he can be a bit of a horror but he is funny, a group of us were standing around and he walks over and says to one of the women liveries "excuse me but are you a man or a woman"
I had to walk away before I bust a gut, even funnier was her reply of "what do think".
 
Teaching the kids at the yard about parts of the horse.....

"What is the top of the tail called?".... One young girl shouted at the top of her voice "THE C0CK!!".

Staff and parents had to stifle their laughter....

Also had a young lady ask why one pony had 5 legs.... when I turned around, a gelding stood there with everything 'hanging out'....
 
Neighbours kid was watching my boy with his willy out. His mum told her it was time for tea and she replied should couldn't come yet as it was going to get bigger...
 
A friend of a friend of mine is an AI technician. She had to take her young daughter with her one day on one of her stud farm visits. The day went successfully and on their return home stopped in a supermarket for some shopping and bumped into an old friend. Old friend went to give the little girl an affectionate greeting hug, but was stopped when the little one shrieked (so the WHOLE of Sainsburys' could hear) "Don't touch me - I'm covered in semen...!"
 
HaffiesRock said:
My sister lost 4 stone and looked much better for it. She went to pick up her 4 year old from school and was stood next to a larger lady. My niece marched straight up to her and said in a serious tone, "wow, you are a fat mummy! My mummy used to be fat like you but she isn't now. Maybe you should stop eating cake?" My sister said she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her!
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This has just made me crack up. Children are so blunt!

I don't have any horse related ones but my friends little girl just pipes up with stuff. Apparently my arms are 'spikey' (apparently I got off lightly as she told mummy she had whiskers) and when I bought her some clothes she quickly declared she didn't like them! On the other hand, she did randomly say "you don't have a big bottom". How sweet!

She had a toy dog and we were asking her what it was called, to which she replied "Colin". She we're sitting there going "oh Colin, that's a nice name, Colin the dog...". She got very frustrated with us and eventually said "no, it IS a Colin". Confused faces all round until she said "Tigger (their dog) is a Colin". She meant COLLIE! We have now renamed all collies Colins
 
Elbie said:
This has just made me crack up. Children are so blunt!

I don't have any horse related ones but my friends little girl just pipes up with stuff. Apparently my arms are 'spikey' (apparently I got off lightly as she told mummy she had whiskers) and when I bought her some clothes she quickly declared she didn't like them! On the other hand, she did randomly say "you don't have a big bottom". How sweet!

She had a toy dog and we were asking her what it was called, to which she replied "Colin". She we're sitting there going "oh Colin, that's a nice name, Colin the dog...". She got very frustrated with us and eventually said "no, it IS a Colin". Confused faces all round until she said "Tigger (their dog) is a Colin". She meant COLLIE! We have now renamed all collies Colins
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I know a collie that really is called Colin.

one of my girls wrote a letter to her class teacher, the teachers name was Miss Dyke of course my daughter started her letter;
'Dear Miss Dick...'
it was during class in her school book so the teacher had seen it
 
Driving along when the kids were small we were discussing what various animals were called as in a baby dog (puppy) etc. Jacob was asked what a boy fox was called (trying to call his bluff as they had all been too easy). He thought very carefully for a while and then announced....Norman!! Logic there somewhere?
 
Having three children there has been so many over the years, I still chuckle now.
My son who wrote about 'The Peasants Revolt' and titled it 'The Pheasants Revolt'!
Daughter no1 who had to write an English essay on a famous spy. It was brilliant but for the fact she wrote about Winston Churchill?
Same daughter who told me her teacher had changed his sports car for a golf buggy ( she meant golf but the image made me laugh. She also shouted at her Grandad not to go anywhere near her ear as she had diarrhoea.
Then just the other day I asked my 4 yo if I looked like a slave? Yes Mummy you do, she replied!
And to the little boy who explained that an octopus has eight testicles!
 
Not horse related but my daughter once commented on an item in the customer in front of us at the checkouts basket by pointing to a pack of Tampax and shouting "Look mummy !... there are those things you stick up your bum !".....
Ground just open up now please ....
 
Three year old in back of car.
Daughter-'Mummy,where are we?'
Me-'gloucestershire,UK,planet earth etc' (that took about 10mins of explaining but I won't bore you with that)
Daughter-' so we are on planet Earth?'
Me-'yes dear'
Then several minutes silence of deep thought from the back seat followed by
' mummy, so what planet is granny on?'
Good question that I still really don't know the answer too.......... :-)
 
littleshetland said:
A friend of a friend of mine is an AI technician. She had to take her young daughter with her one day on one of her stud farm visits. The day went successfully and on their return home stopped in a supermarket for some shopping and bumped into an old friend. Old friend went to give the little girl an affectionate greeting hug, but was stopped when the little one shrieked (so the WHOLE of Sainsburys' could hear) "Don't touch me - I'm covered in semen...!"
Click to expand...

Hahaha! Awkward!
 
I have a Collie called Colin!!!
QUOTE=Elbie;12507663]This has just made me crack up. Children are so blunt!



She had a toy dog and we were asking her what it was called, to which she replied "Colin". She we're sitting there going "oh Colin, that's a nice name, Colin the dog...". She got very frustrated with us and eventually said "no, it IS a Colin". Confused faces all round until she said "Tigger (their dog) is a Colin". She meant COLLIE! We have now renamed all collies Colins[/QUOTE]
 
Happy Hunter said:
I have a Collie called Colin!!!
QUOTE=Elbie;12507663]This has just made me crack up. Children are so blunt!



She had a toy dog and we were asking her what it was called, to which she replied "Colin". She we're sitting there going "oh Colin, that's a nice name, Colin the dog...". She got very frustrated with us and eventually said "no, it IS a Colin". Confused faces all round until she said "Tigger (their dog) is a Colin". She meant COLLIE! We have now renamed all collies Colins
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]

Outside our local shop was a little girl holding a large spotted dog, an elderly lady walking past and aid "That's a nice spotted doggie" to which the child replied, very disdainfully "Actually I think you'll find it's a dalmation" - exit said elderly lady muttering about "know-all kids"!!
 

Outside our local shop was a little girl holding a large spotted dog, an elderly lady walking past and aid "That's a nice spotted doggie" to which the child replied, very disdainfully "Actually I think you'll find it's a dalmation" - exit said elderly lady muttering about "know-all kids"!![/QUOTE]

That's like my friend's three year old. I babysat her while her mum was in a class at a county show. "Ooh look at that nice white horse" I said. "All white horses are called greys" she replied, making me feel three inches tall. Twenty five years on and she is a talented instructor and rider!
 
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