over horsed

[irishhorse142]

i bought a horse back at the start of april he’s 17hh and a total gentleman, i was fine with him at the start but as he became fitter he’s more powerful and i’m scared of cantering him. Have i over horsed myself?? i can still trot him which was a breakthrough as last month i wouldn’t but this month i only canter when my RI makes me and i wouldn’t dream of jumping him even though i’ve jumped him 90+cm in the past i don’t know where this fear of riding him came from but i haven’t been riding properly since august and i’ve been doing lessons to try get over this.
should i sell or keep trying. he is an amazing horse that could teach someone the ropes of competing but i’m not brave enough at the minute although i love him to pieces
just a rant any advice is appreciated ps you deserve a medal if you read that

 

[exracehorse]

Just think of riding 6 strides of canter. Then half halt back to trot. I struggle too as my 17.2 is very powerful and I struggle to hold him together in flat work. But funny enough .. no problems out hacking

 

[Parrotperson]

Personally I'd give it more time. If he's done nothing to frighten you give yourself time. Do everything at your pace. he wont mind!

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

How often do you have lessons?
Do you ride with others, is there someone (a trainer) who could ride him for you and show you how easy and straightforward he is to give you confidence? (And give you lessons?)

 

[View]

Confidence is fragile, and small steps help rebuild it. There is no shame in using a neck strap or breastplate that you can use to ensure you can stay balanced and with him. Just the knowledge that it is there can help.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

It's completely up to you. I was having issues with my boy out hacking for a while, and with cantering in the school - I didn't canter him in there for a good 3-4 weeks until I felt happy, confident and in control in the trot. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I often thought back then 'oh god, what have I bought' but now we are out the other side, not perfect, but I have regained the love of riding him.

There's no shame in selling up, there's no shame in taking it back a few steps and there's no shame in giving it a try and deciding later. Go with your gut. In the meantime, feed him less (if he is fed and a good weight), don't get him any fitter and don't get to the point where your adrenaline spikes, see if that helps.

 

[irishhorse142]

i try to have a lesson every week if not every other week during the week i ride on my own at the weekend i ride with others but i’ve got so tense riding him zbecause he has reared with me a few times but he’s only done it when something was hurting him so it’s nothing to be worried about the only thing he does is spook which is a given with horses, it helps knowing there’s other people in the arena. i really want to keep trying with him i think i’d be crazy to give him up. i suppose it’s just frustrating knowing i want to ride but somethings stopping me

 

[Lois Lame]

If it's not working out, why would you be crazy to give him up?

 

[irishhorse142]

If it's not working out, why would you be crazy to give him up?

just because in theory he’s an amazing horse and he’s not actually doing anything wrong, i’m the problem a lot of people have told me i’m lucky to have him but i just can’t seem to get over this

 

[Lois Lame]

But maybe he's not the horse for you at this time.

It's easy for other people to say what someone else ought to do, but the important thing is, what do you want to do?

 

[bouncing_ball]

I think once over a certain age and if not riding multiple horses daily, many people have confidence wobbles from time to time. It’s not unusual part of getting older and realising more mortal and less invincible.

Can you cut down his hard feed? Increase his turnout? Reduce the sugar and protein in his hay?

Add a really good grab strap? Whether on front saddle / neck strap / hunting breastplate/ R-Stor. Whatever is right height for you.

Maybe be short term have 2 lessons a week with focus on building confidence.

Possibly some sports psychology or confidence courses for you.

And set a time limit, if you aren’t enjoying riding him in x months time call it a day.

 

[Red-1]

It is supposed to be fun. I sold a lovely horse this year, because, although on paper we were a great match, I had other stuff going on in my life, and I wasn't having fun. I now have, on paper, a far less suitable horse, but am always smiling.

My old horse was out eventing with her new owners after about a month. They have been smiling.

I agree that there has to be a settling in period, which my have not fun times in, but it seems you have a long period of not feeling joyful with your horse.

Good word, joyful.

 

[ycbm]

Deleted my first response. I didn't spot that he was rearing. I think you should sell.

 

[canteron]

If you decide to keep him and rearing is your fear, it might be worth doing Karl Greenwood’s confidence course - part of it is you get to sit in a horse trained to rear, while keeping your cool. Other good stuff in it too!!

 

[ycbm]

..

 

[Winters100]

To me it sounds like the 2 of you are not a good fit. There is no shame in letting him go to a good home where he will be more suited to the rider and looking for a lovely confidence giver for yourself. You say that spooking is a given with horses, and of course yes any horse can spook, but the right horse for you is probably one who would only spook in exceptional circumstances.

I remember the horse that I sold was very unpredictable in this way. I used to carefully look around the arena before riding, be sure to hang my coat outside in case he didn't like the look of it, consider whether the wind was too strong or the rain too heavy.... no fun at all. Interestingly the new owner subsequently told me that he was nothing like as bad as I had described, in his words the horse was just 'not always the bravest'. The reason that I am telling you this is that we can feed fear and tension to the horse. With me when ther horse spooked he felt my fear, and this was telling him that there really was something to be afraid of. With a stronger and more confident rider who was not afraid of his spooks the message he got was 'don't be so silly, it's nothing' and he reacted accordingly.

The replacement for that horse was a lovely 14 year old schoolmistress. Actually bought from the buyer of the first horse. She had been competing with him at a much higher level than me, but he felt that he didn't want to push her anymore to stay at that level, and although he had said he wouldn't sell her he was happy for her to come to me. I have had her for 2 years, ridden her almost every day and not one spook or silly incident. She is not lazy, she has the speed if I want it, but the difference is that if I don't want it then she is happy to stay at my pace. To me it sounds as if this is the type of horse you need.

For now I would try to find someone who will let you ride something lovely and calm. If you are able to ride with no problems then that pretty much tells you what you need. Riding should be fun, and you do not need to worry about those who tell you that you are lucky to have him, they probably just don't know how it feels to drive to the yard every day feeling sick at the thought of riding your horse.

Edited to add that I have had way more fun in 2 years with my schoolmistress than I had in 7 years owning a horse who was fabulous, but not suited to me. I now have 3, and the cost of keeping all of them is not too dissimilar to the cost of keeping the 1, because I no longer need endless trainers and lessons.

 

[View]

OK, with the further information that he has been rearing, it doesn’t sound like you are a good pairing.

If that’s the case, there is a home out there for him. No shame in saying “not for me”.

 

[irishhorse142]

But maybe he's not the horse for you at this time.

It's easy for other people to say what someone else ought to do, but the important thing is, what do you want to do?[/QUOTE
i feel like i’ve let other people’s opinions sway my thoughts on this situation too much

 

[irishhorse142]

thanks for the replies i know that in reality we’re just not a good match and him and his talents would be much more appreciated at a more confident home.I had a think about it and i’ve realised the only reason i’m reluctant to sell is i’ve gotten attached and let other people make me think it’s a bad idea so i’ve decided to keep taking things slow with riding and in the mean time start looking at what else is out there. This is meant to be an enjoyable hobby but it’s gotten to a stage where i dread going to the yard.

 

[paddy555]

This is meant to be an enjoyable hobby but it’s gotten to a stage where i dread going to the yard.

I think you have totally answered your own question. Good luck with finding him a new home and a lovely new horse for yourself.

 

[Red-1]

When I sold mine, a friend messaged and said she was jealous as she wished she had sold hers, as she could see how much happier I was.

I find that once I have made the decision, I feel a lot better immediately. The fact that you have started looking is very telling.

 

[stormox]

Its difficult at the moment with lockdown, I cannot give my horse the work she needs and with no where to lunge she has turned into a brat, rearing and bucking for no other reason than short of work.
Maybbe wait until lockdown is over and see what you think then?