Overcoming Nerves after having children

[Bedford Joy]

Hello all. I would like some advice please on overcoming nerves after having children. I have had a year off riding to have my third child and haven't ridden for over a year and as some of you know I have recently bought a 10 year old ex racehorse called Joy and i'm keen to get back in the saddle again but I keep having those "what if" voices in my head and it's making me worried about riding again. I rode her briefly when I bought her but she was in familiar surroundings and it's all new to her at our yard. Also she's on Top Spec Conditioning cubes and soya oil (recommended by my yard owner - Joy's on full livery whilst my son is still young) and I wasn't sure if they owuld hot her up at all?

I am desperate to get out and about on her but can anyone offer some words of advice. I think finding out that she freaked out as a 2 year old after I bought her has worried me a little but I have been reassured by a few people that she will be a very different "person" to the one she was at the races 8 years ago. I know i'm being a wuss, but a friend of mine was killed by her horse only the other day in a horrible accident, and she was only on the ground.

Oh to be a child again ..... growing older is a pain in the backside! LOL
(I'm 40 in case you were wondering)

 

[Izzwizz]

I know how you feel as I had an accident before Christmas and had 8 weeks out of the saddle so a year is a long time for you. Your confidence does take a bit of a knock. If I were you I would take things out of the equation that may be worrying you, eg the feed. Take her off it and just have her on hay/haylage. Get yourself a good body protector and make sure your hat is in good order. Find someone to hack out with who has a sensible horse and is a confident rider, who will look after you and just walk. Try and pick a day that's wind free so its all as calm as possible. If possible find a quiet route to take you away from traffic as far as possible. You could always have someone walk with you on the ground for reassurance.

Don't go on a big ride, start off small and work upwards. Spend some quality time with your horse on the ground too. Having children makes you risk assess everything, especially as you get older (not saying your old by any means). What happened to your friend is very sad but its probably a rare thing. If it makes you feel easier then wear your hat and BP on the ground too.

Above all, breathe and relax and enjoy your horse. She will sense if you are nervous so try and have positive thoughts. Have a lovely time, the lighter nights will soon be upon us and you deserve to enjoy spending time with your horse.x

 

[OldNag]

I can't top Izzywizz's advice but just want to say that I empathise.

I have had a very long gap (about 20 yrs) and have found my nerves aren't what they used to be. I don't know if it's age (I'm in my 40s), having 2 kids or a combination. I have got myself a good body protector and hat and I'm being more sensible about what I will/won't do. Having a great instructor is a real help. I doubt I'll be doing anything too serious but I'm happily doing things at a level I feel comfortable at, and I'm enjoying my horse.

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, that's very sad indeed.