Overhorsed. Overwhelmed.

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MissCandy

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I am the proud owner of a rising 3, 16hh (homebred:o) Dutch Warmblood.

I would be more suited to a 15hh, 10 year old+ ploddy hack :o

He is not unhandled, he will lead, tie up, stand for the farrier etc. He has worn rugs, bandages, saddle and had a bit in. He has even had people leaning over his back and on a couple of occasions has had a lightweight teenager sat on him. He has not really been phased by anything.

It has got to the point where I need to start thinking about doing some 'proper' work with him. The thing is I do not have the time, confidence or experience to do anything more and if I'm honest I'm scared. In an ideal world, I'd like to send him away and get him back as a 10 year old!

He has never seen or had to deal with proper traffic, other than on the yard. I have walked him out in hand a few times on the nearby bridlepath so he has seen bikes, dogs, other horses etc.

He travelled once when he was 4 weeks old and obviously that was with his mum.

So my options are sending him away or getting someone in to help. I have thought about pros and cons for both and I'd really like to hear others experiences and for someone to tell me it will all be ok!
 
Really you have all the time in the world to decide what to do with him as he is only rising three. He doesn't have to do anything for at least a year. Why don't you leave him to mature a bit and then perhaps send him away to be started and advertise for a rider to start taking him out? Obviously, it would depend on finances, but there's nothing to say tht just because you own a horse, you have to ride it. It can be just as satisfying to watch someone else take it out and compete.
 
I own a big clyde x cob rising 3 this time and the biggest piece of advice I can give you is.....take a deep breath, calm down, take you time and then decide what to do with him. It very easy to feel pressured, even if you are the only one putting pressure on yourself, to make plans and announce to the world what you will be doing with your young horses because he's 3 now you know! I've been there and got sucked into the whole 'what are your plans for him' type questions. I just reply with 'well...I'm going to wait and see what he enjoys and take it from there'.

My boy is very immature mentally and physically but I refuse to rush him! Full stop....I will know when it feels right to do things with him. He's been to shows, loaded and travelled like a dream, had the farrier, dentist, rugs, clippers on him and handled daily and thats enough for now.

In the end he may not be the horse for you, only you will know that and selling him isn't a failure....in fact it means you have put his needs before your own. Real horse lovers do that you know! lol Take care and good luck whatever you decide!
 
Thanks. I would be quite happy to continue as we are doing and think about it again next year but I'm not sure if that's because I don't want to do anything or because its the right thing to do :confused:

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE around me is saying I should be starting with him this year.

To me he still looks like a baby but I don't know if that's because I still see him as a foal!

What would you expect a 3 year old to be doing by the end of the year? (He will be officially 3 at the beginning of May).

I'm pretty sure he isn't the horse for me but I still feel highly attached to him and don't think I could bring myself to sell him. I would be quite happy to be 'driver' and let someone else ride and compete him.

Cblover it made me smile when you say 'he's 3 now you know!' That's exactly the pressure I feel. Like 3 is the magic number!
 
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Can you walk him out in hand on roads, starting with the quieter ones with good traffic, not crazy country lane with blind bends etc? We did this with my sisters last year when he was the same age as yours, I think a few times he walked out with a nanny, then after that by himself. We backed him in August ish I think, after been rugged, saddled bitter and done some in hand showing. We also had a few in hand lessons with him, making him lead, stand and back up. With the use of a schooling whip this also introduces then to leg aids.

I would see how you go then and decide if you need intensive outside help or not. If he trusts you and you do lots of lead roadwork etc and build his confidence,I would be wary of sending him away after friends experiences.

There is nothing he should be doing at his age, just whatever you want to, there is no set timescale for these things, be lead by the horse :)
 
You are doing the right thing by doing not much. Taking your time at this stage in his life will add years onto the other end of his life. Like others have said, there is no set rule or timescale and everyone around you needs to back off. I'd not expect him to be doing anything in additional to what he is doing now at the end of this year.

Yes he is a big horse and you can do ground work to instill that and build your relationship, horse agility, clicker training......my ted loves clicker training! Making sure those foundation building blocks are in place and solid over the next year will make back and riding away next year so much easier. Do you have any pics of him....we all love to see pics on this forum!
 
My 3 year old will be '3' in May. I've had countless people telling me what to do with him!
He will be going to about half a dozen in hand shows over the summer and nothing else ( he leads,ties up, travels wears a rug etc) I won't even consider backing him until his 4 th year I did this with my other now 17 year old and he's my horse of a lifetime
What's the rush? Mines a keeper and I do have another horse but I just think too many people are very impatient
He's your horse do what you think is right for him X
 
I would leave him alone out in a field doing nothing I think at least until the autumn. Then perhaps send him away to be backed and then put him back in afield over the winter.

Really no need to rush, or feel you have to do it yourself.
 
If you feel he isn't the right horse for you but you don't want to sell then when he is ready to start find a good rider who wants a horse to ride and love like their own and keep him if you want to. It is what i have done with my horse and i have bought another one that i love riding. My boy gets the love and attention from someone who is confident enough to ride him and i get to know that he is well looked after by me and well loved by me and his rider and i get to ride my girl and have fun.
Don't start him until you feel that he is ready to start and if people tell he should be doing XY+Z now just tell them he is your horse and he will do it when you feel he is ready and not before.
 
Mine's not home bred but I've had her since eight months old. The main lesson I've learnt is not to listen to 'helpful' people who all have an opinion about what I should be doing with her.
You know him best and you know when it's right to do stuff. Mine isn't a horse who's happy just in the field so she was long reined and walked out in traffic etc, so as she had things to think about. It's helped.
However,what was right for mine might not be right for yours and I'd say if he's respectful and happy then take it at at a pace you're happy with. As soon as you rush to fit in with advice, you'll both lose confidence.
Now I'm on board we have a bond which reflects all the hard groundwork and it's fab! She tries so hard to do the right thing and even get me out of trouble, for a baby she's amazing.
If he's not the one for you then there's no pressure either, despite what some well meaning (!) folk might say.
Good luck!
 
although its not a nice thought but would you consider selling him?
you have probably got the most unsuitable breed to be backing if you do not have a lot of confidence.
maybe start looking for someone to take him on, dont say your definitely selling him but consider the options.
then you could get yourself a suitable horse and not have to worry.
unfortunately with these big horses it can sometimes be an accident waiting to happen, to you or the horse. and im sure that would not improve your confidence at all..
i would look at it as you have given him the best start in life and he is ready in a while or so to move on to the next stage in his life.
i hope you get everything sorted, must be a horrible feeling being lost. but dont forgot to enjoy him at the moment. some pics would be lovely ! i have a soft spot for dutch warmbloods :)
 
16hh is not a big horse, he's rising three and I prefer to start mine at three unless they are very big and backward. There is a reason people are asking what your plans are; 3 years old is the optimum time to start horses mentally, and as long as he's not over stretched there is no reason not to get him backed and riding lightly. All this "don't rush" stuff is all very well, but recent research has found that working young horses lightly is actually better for their joints, bone development and structure than leaving them (and often over feeding them). Obviously this doesn't mean rushing into heavy work, but really, 3 is the best time to start them and I've been doing this with my own home breds for 30 years with excellent results.
 
Cortez said:
3 is the best time to start them and I've been doing this with my own home breds for 30 years with excellent results.
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Me too. And I certainly don't rush mine. I back them over the course of a year.

Sounds to me OP that you don't want this horse as a future riding horse so if I was you I'd send him off to be backed in the summer and put him up for sale. Or look to advertising him now, although your price won't be so high for an unbacked 3 year old. Many people like to back their own youngsters and if yours hasn't been spoiled then your horse may be just what they are looking for.
 
Warmbloods tend to be slow maturers both mentally and physically - so there is really no rush.

IMHO the best thing you could be doing is getting him out to see a bit of the world, especially working on loading and travelling well(that really is an important life skill for any horse) and an introduction to traffic. Maybe long reining in tack too if you feel he could do with a bit of a job. In the meantime invest some dosh in yourself for good riding lessons on a schoolmaster to get really riding fit and build your confidence before you even think about starting your youngster.

Then come August you can make a decision

Back at home with professional help - this could help your confidence and saves unsettling a young, inexperienced horse by moving yard. Really depends on whether suitable help and facilities are available.

Send away to back - expensive but you could see the results, let someone else be the crash test dummy and probably you could get some instruction too.

Sell - as an unspoilt ready to back youngster with all the ground work in place and buy yourself a nice, suitable type that you would be happy with. No shame in doing that, I wish I had!
 
I bought my rising 3 a year ago, and I plan to start him lightly at the end of the summer! then turn him away for the winter and start again just before he turns 4!

I've never done it before but I have lots of people that are going to help me! however, my boy doesn't look very babyish anymore, he's 16'1 already, was supposed to make 15'2. he looks like a a proper man now and defo gets bored, so he wants to start working!
 
Some good suggestions already made. Personally first I would long rein and walk in hand around the local area. My friend did this and literally if anything exciting was happening in the area, rather than avoid it, she would take her filly to have a look. This filly is now 4 and is so brave hacking it is amazing!!

I lack confidence and would not consider having a youngster (my new horse is 8 and I feel that is plenty young enough!). There is no shame in using a professional to back the horse, many will come to you so you don't need to have the horse away from home. But you do need to decide if you aren't happy to ride it during and immediately after this process who is going to do it instead?

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
juliette said:
Some good suggestions already made. Personally first I would long rein and walk in hand around the local area. My friend did this and literally if anything exciting was happening in the area, rather than avoid it, she would take her filly to have a look. This filly is now 4 and is so brave hacking it is amazing!!

I lack confidence and would not consider having a youngster (my new horse is 8 and I feel that is plenty young enough!). There is no shame in using a professional to back the horse, many will come to you so you don't need to have the horse away from home. But you do need to decide if you aren't happy to ride it during and immediately after this process who is going to do it instead?

Good luck with whatever you decide.
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FAR from it being "no shame" to use a professional, surely that is what professional horse trainers are for?
 
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Sorry these are huge! ^that one is from April last year. This is a more recent one but only a head shot;

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I'm usually on my own with my phone so this is what most of my photos end up like;

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Wow he is lovely

for my penny's worth I wouldnt even think about starting him until the end of this year and if I was keeping him the middle of next year but then I dont usually do mine until they have finished growing so some have even been nearer 5 I do think they are a lot easier if you show them and walk them out from babies though as they are used to traffic. Maybe a few shows before you back him would do him the world of good teach him to load lead and meet horsey drivers with big wagons they are usually going slowly and will stop if you horse is scared
 
I have had professional help to break in my tb/wb. The chap is local and comes over to introduce something new and then I practise. My confidence has come on hugely. He is schooling her atm so I feel more in control.
Ask around trainers and tack shops in your area to find out who is good.
Good Luck and let us know how you get on.
 
WHAT A BEAUTY!!

I have yet to face all this as my youngster is only 18 months. I would just offer a word of warning about 'sending him away' to be backed... I know of a number of people whose horses went away and came back with problems, not having been properly treated. If you really know and trust the person he goes to, fair enough - but I would be as careful about that as sending my baby away!
 
Thank you for all your replies :)

When I started this process I had the confidence to see it through and had high hopes for my future riding. Fast forward 4 years and I have 2 babies of my own and ended up with 4 years out of riding save for a few riding lessons so my confidence is virtually non existent!

I would love to get him out and about in a horse box and in hand to meet traffic and go to a few local shows. I am just as worried about this as actually getting on him, maybe even more so. Perhaps this should just be the plan for this year.

I'll ask around but our local (only) tack shop is part of a big yard who also take horses for breaking so I know they'll only recommend themselves!
 
You have loads of time it doesnt matter if it takes all this year if you have transport for him teach him first to step on and over a tarpaulin on the ground make him perfect to lead so he goes everywhere you do, de spook like you have been doing and then do the loading bit. If it really worries you get an expert to help instead of a riding lesson one time get a pro to teach you and him to load. Practice that for a week or two then take him for a ride in the trailer. Go to a local show and walk him around take a friend or partner to help you so if he gets excited you can have two ropes on him it will give you more confidence. You need your confidence boosting too by the sound of it so get a good instructor if you can afford it and get them to come to you so you are confident handling him in all situations
I would recommend an Intelligent Horsemanship RA for all the groundwork and your confidence
 
He's very nice Miss Candy :) One word of advice, if you go to do anything with him; leading him out, taking him in hand to shows etc, make sure you are confident with him. Confidence breeds confidence with youngster IME. There's nothing worse than a badly behaved horse who is lacking in confidence. (Even if you make a mistake with him, which you probably will if he's your first youngster, try to quickly gloss over it and move on without letting on to him that you made a mistake). Take small steps and if at any time you don't feel sure of yourself then quickly end on a good note and put him back in his field.
 
I would definatly agree with taking him out for the odd walk down the road, and local shows. Will help get him used to all these things, then when it comes later in life, he will accept it as more "normal" rather than all new
 
Wagtail said:
Really you have all the time in the world to decide what to do with him as he is only rising three. He doesn't have to do anything for at least a year. Why don't you leave him to mature a bit and then perhaps send him away to be started and advertise for a rider to start taking him out? Obviously, it would depend on finances, but there's nothing to say tht just because you own a horse, you have to ride it. It can be just as satisfying to watch someone else take it out and compete.
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I totally agree with this. I have 2 horses in work but I very rarely ride, I love watching a friend take them out and ride and compete on them. I am happy to do groundwork and odd jobs but I'm no rider!!:)
 
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