owning a horse

[Roasted Chestnuts]

Why would you go out and spend time and money looking for a horse then getting said horse and then being to scared to ride?

Not because the horse has scared you but just because you don't have the confidence to ride it??

I mean what an expensive waste of time, No??

I just don't get it. Not having a go I really honestly don't get it

 

[JFTDWS]

I don't get it either, but it's their money and time, eh?

 

[Goldenstar]

ITs a mystery to me too.

 

[rhino]

People buy horses that they'd like to be able to ride, not ones they actually can ride. There's a fine line between stretching yourself and overhorsing yourself.

 

[LaurenM]

Unless you've ever been in the situation then you will never understand. Perhaps offer to give them a lesson.

At the end of the day, as long as the horse is looked after - who cares?!

 

[JFTDWS]

Some people, rhino. Some of us don't even buy horses. I never graduated from ponies, me

 

[SavingGrace]

I was in the situation and it was definitely in both Holly and my best interest that we parted company. Sad as it was she was an expensive stable/field ornament

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

I wouldn't really give anyone a lesson as I'm pretty abrupt by nature lol

 

[Bikerchickone]

It is mad but some people seem to get pleasure out of just doing all the chores! I'm not a confident rider by any stretch but I love riding! Luckily my horses both suit me very well.

Think it's a very good point about buying what you'd like to be able to ride though! I've done that with my youngster but luckily she's turning out to be a much slower plod at the moment than my very forward going and quite strong occasionally cob!

 

[rhino]

Unless you've ever been in the situation then you will never understand. Perhaps offer to give them a lesson.

At the end of the day, as long as the horse is looked after - who cares?!

Because quite often the owner is not happy; they bought a horse they wanted to ride and find themselves unable to. That's not fun for anyone. I don't see this thread as having a go at all Confidence can be a fragile thing.

 

[Goldenstar]

I do think there are people out there who love having a horse and don't really get riding.

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

Thank you lauren m it isn't a dig at all I just can't understand going to lengths to find your perfect horse then not ride it, when you don't have your own land its a very expensive pet, again not a dig at anyone

 

[VixieTrix]

I do think there are people out there who love having a horse and don't really get riding.

I am one of these have had Blue 15 years and have tried everything with him, now I am just very happy taking care of him and pampering him, have the odd ride once a week say, apart from this i have some young girls who ride a once / twice a week and i like to walk him out in hand

 

[Hedwards]

I dont understand why people would do this either personally, its not something I would do by choice. However I also would never question it, everyone does things for their own reasons be it they dont have the confidence to ride, or even that they just dont want to ride. How boring would life be if we all felt the same!?

 

[diet2ride]

Because they really believe that one day they just might. confidence is a funny thing.
A lot of the time people don't deal with it, they just think its because they haven't found the perfect horse. again what they don't get, is there is no 'perfect horse'.

whenever i meet someone with confidence issues I tell them about the confident rider courses available. even if it doesn't help them get over their issues. at least they might have some understanding of whats going on, rather than buying horse after horse.

 

[Archangel]

I think it is a real shame when people buy a horse and lack the confidence to ride it. They have parted with a whole load of money, opened themselves up to a whole load of aggravation from horse, fellow liveries, life in general. Shame really. Also people buy a horse thinking they will ride more, but find that looking after the blimmin thing picking its poo up , making sure it is comfy and has the right friends takes up all the riding time

 

[PolarSkye]

Why would you go out and spend time and money looking for a horse then getting said horse and then being to scared to ride?

Not because the horse has scared you but just because you don't have the confidence to ride it??

I mean what an expensive waste of time, No??

I just don't get it. Not having a go I really honestly don't get it

Really - why is it any of your business? People own horses for all sorts of reasons. As long as said horse is well cared for, what does it matter?

As more and more horses are being either neglected or abandoned because their owners cannot afford them, surely those with the time, money and inclination to "do the all the chores" and pay for the correct care (dentist, vet, farrier, etc.) whether or not they ride should be applauded, not vilified (look it up).

Your post didn't make me confused - it actually made me angry.

P

 

[Montyforever]

I keep horses and I dont ride .. Always loved horses and being around them and it was pretty much impossible to find a horse to part loan ect spent years helping people with veterans, grooming and fussing over them to see if I would get bored eventually but I didn't so then got my own I lunge/longrein them and am planning on breaking my little one to drive. I just dont enjoy riding and never have but have spent 7 years around horses now and have owned my two for nearly 3 years

 

[Montyforever]

Forgot to put .. Neither of them are rideable. And I bought them knowing this!

 

[Ibblebibble]

People buy horses that they'd like to be able to ride, not ones they actually can ride. There's a fine line between stretching yourself and overhorsing yourself.

i would think mostly this is the reason and i'm sure most who end up to scared to ride aren't happy with that, i knew some one who had ridden for years, suddenly lost her confidence and would have a panic attack at the thought of hacking further than the end of their track no reason that she could think of it just seemed to happen overnight! She worked hard taking little steps outside of her comfort zone to get her confidence back, but to someone who she hadn't confided in she possibly would have just looked like a mad/sad woman with a horse she didn't want to ride
My daughter has no confidence, she loves riding but even after having her own pony since she was 4 she still worries, I often ask her if she really wants to continue riding and she always says yes but every ride we have to start on the lead rein until she's feeling ok. we spent a lot of time making sure we bought her the right pony when she outgrew the first one but we couldn't buy her confidence

 

[noblesteed]

Because confidence is a very fragile thing! There are many, many factors that affect our confidence, and a whole range of reasons why some people choose not to ride their own horse. I would NEVER pass judgement on someone who wasn't confident to ride their own horse, because I have been there myself.
I lost my confidence on my current horse a couple of months after buying him. To the point where I would stand for 10 minutes at the mounting block in tears, trying to muster up the courage to get on him. It wasn't overnight, it was chipped away by people at the yard making snide comments about him being naughty and me not having the experience to correct him, and a less-than-helpful instructor. THere were other things happening in my life too, my job was incredibly difficult among other things which affected my self-confidence in non-horsey areas too. Plus the realisation of the responsibility I had towards this fabulous animal that I now solely owned, my first horse at 30 years old, that I had dreamed of owning since I was a little girl and had to work to earn the money to buy. The only thing that kept me going was the refusal to listen to the judgemental, unhelpful and downright nasty people who made comments like 'you don't ride him enough'... 'what's the point of having him if you can't ride him?' etc etc etc...

It has taken me 2 years to rebuild my confidence to the level it was before I bought my horse (when I had a loan mare). I have battled with myself and others and my horse has taught me more than any instructor, book or teacher ever has. I surrounded myself with positive people and cut the doubters from my life completely. My horse has become the horse I always wanted, we have overcome HIS issues as well as MINE, and I won't ever sell him. But if I had listened to the doubters, the negative remarks, I would have sold him 2 years ago when I hit rock bottom, and probably given up horses completely.

So don't judge people until you have been there yourself.

 

[Dizzle]

Me! Had my horse on loan for six months, due to badly fitting saddles, a teenage phase, less work and a few silly mistakes he turned into an utter nightmare. We’re slowly rebuilding our trust in each other and he’s getting better and better, but yes there was a stage where I hardly had the confidence to ride him.

Does this mean I shouldn’t have bought him? No way, I don’t regret a second.

If he had been injured a week after buying him and retired would you mock me for keeping him as a field ornament?

 

[rhino]

I think OP is being given an unfairly hard time here. I didn't read it as her judging or mocking in the slightest I interpreted her post as simply feeling it is a shame when people who desperately want to ride, can't!

I have worked with a number of people who are desperate to regain their confidence. They are not happy as they bought their horses with all intentions of riding and find themselves unable to. Fairly often it has not been due to any fault of the horse, just a mismatched partnership. Some worked through it. Some bought more suitable horses. Some decided they were actually happy not riding and were happy having pet horses/letting other people ride them. There is nothing wrong with any of these scenarios. My ginger horse is now a pet through injury, I don't feel anyone would look down on me because of it

Yes, it is important that the horse is happy. Is it not also important that the owner/rider is happy too? These are the people that I feel OP was thinking about. If you are happy then great, but some people aren't!

 

[FionaM12]

I bought a horse I thought was just right. She isn't and between my lack of confidence, poor skills due to not riding for 30 years, and her temperament, we struggle. By the time I realised just how hard it was going to be, I'd bonded with her.

I do ride, I'm not giving up, but I have great sympathy for others who struggle.

 

[*hic*]

I have seven. I ride two and tbh I just don't care whether that bothers you or not and I don't feel I need to give you any explanation. My money, my land, my horses, my choice.

 

[CatStew]

There is a person on my yard that bought their horse as an unbroken 3 year old. They didn't realise that you had to back them etc and thought you could just put a saddle on and ride away immediately! This was a few years ago, the horse was sent away to be professionally backed (as the owners evidentially don't have a clue!) he is now ridden by them once in a blue moon and by ridden I mean he is just walked round the ménage and then put away again.

Care wise, they do look after him very well, but he's treated like an oversized hamster really!

 

[1973horse]

I do think there are people out there who love having a horse and don't really get riding.

agree

 

[Bustalot]

probably a good 65% of people at my livery yard own horses but don't ride. Not because they don't have the confidence but because they just like looking after the horses and it is a socialising thing for them aswell. They enjoy it so be it

 

[FionaM12]

Care wise, they do look after him very well, but he's treated like an oversized hamster really!

I know a few horses like this. But if horse and owner are both happy, good for them!

 

[JFTDWS]

Care wise, they do look after him very well, but he's treated like an oversized hamster really!

I have visions of a full sized horse in an exercise ball, like equine zorbing


rhino, yes I look down on you for not riding your retired-through-injury gingernut. But I can't talk - I don't ride my two year old at all I mean, I've never had the confidence to just hop on him and go for a ride. I'm so ashamed