Pair Bond between horses

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Rockchick_uk

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Found out tonight that one of the ladies on our yard is moving off in a week or so with her mare.

Now this causes me a few problems, my horse Indiana is completely besotted with this mare who is the head of our herd.

They eat together, sleep together, graze together, drink together.......basically joined at the hip and can often be found mutually grooming and enjoying being with one another.

I have looked in to equine psycology and i believe the link they share is called a "Pair Bond" and sometimes when that bond is broken the horses can grieve for one another and the results can be quite severe.

How do i help him through this?
 
Really sympathise with you on this one. I don't know the solution I am afraid. Had a similar situation with our gelding & my old mare. She was PTS a couple of years ago & the gelding coped fairly well as we let him go up to her afterwards. I dread to think what he would have been like if we'd taken her away. Good luck & hope you find a way to make it easier for him x.
 
Yes - know that one! If I take my gelding away from him now, he calls & calls & gets in a right state. Although of late I have been taking mine away more frequently & he seems to cope a bit better - but I appreciate you don't have time on your side here. How is he hacking on his own? Does he look for her as soon as he comes back? Could you arrange for him to be out when she goes?
 
Been through this before. I had two beautiful chestnut mares what adored each other. Their stables were originally ones very huge one converted into two... so you had to pass through one to reach the other. They soon worked out how to unbolt the dividing door and they'd both be in one box layed together.

All day in the field they'd be grazing muzzle to muzzle and they're the only two horses ive ever ridden and lead at the same time.

Sadly, one of the mares got colic and despite rushing her to Leahurst, she had to be PTS. The screaming from my other mare was unbearable and for me, was worse than my personal grieving (and it really was a screaming.. nothing ive heard before)

She settled down after about 2-3 weeks.. although it would have been easier i think if the second mare (Ruby) had been PTS at home and maybe she could have realised...

Sadly, my remaining girly has never been quite the same... shes never had another friend.. shes much more distant with other horses and she's just changed
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If you can.. id start reducing the time that they spend together asap. Can you avoid turning them out together all the time? If they're stabled next to each other can you move yours out of sight whilst grooming or something? You dont have a lot of notice... but in 7 days you can hopefully reduce the dependency a little bit.
 
Had a very similar experience, apart from mines the mare. It was really hard at first but now only 3 months down the line you would never know what went on. She really bonded with a gelding who was kept on his own in a seperate paddock, I bought my new mare to my yard and he seemed a good choice of companion for her as they were two lost souls. Their bonding became really intense and either of them quite distressed when sepearted and out of sight. After about a year he became ill and we suspected the worse, this was confirmed, a tumour and we had no option but to get the vet down to see him for the last time, we were really worried about her and I made the decision that morning to turn her out behind the stables with my other mare, a really similar kind mare. I ignored advise about letting her see him die and went for distraction instead, she called and called, this was far worse than having him put down - her calling for him, and then to top it off as the vet approached he started calling her, it was heart wrenching. She was sort of distracted that day by a new friend but later when bringing her in she called from him more and was frantically looking for him, it took several days for her to realise that her calls were unanswered and that he was gone, now she has a more normal horse relationship with other horses, you would never know who obsessed she was with her old boyfriend, it is far more heathly now and she seems more balanced so I would offer you support in that there is light at the end of the tunnel, horses can be quite fickle, it may take a while for yours to get over the lose of a good friend but they do recover, hopefully yours could have other friends and will be able to move on, a little like us really when we lose loved ones. Good luck, keep us posted.
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