Parents with teens who compete (or teens who compete...)

It sounds to me like you need an overall plan of some kind...

What are you going to do with your life? Uni? Job with horses? Job without horses? Once you've got an idea of where you're going, you can start to slot things in. Eg if you're going to uni will you be able to take your horse? If you're going straight to work (eg office) can you get a 'proper' job now & use the money to learn to drive? If you're going to get a horsey job, can you get one now with living & move out?

Don't worry - you won't be 17 forever! My parents were totally unsupportive with my riding (my grandad was a farmer & my pony lived at his) & now I've got my own house with land & stables & a lorry, so it IS possible.

Decide what you want to do & then GO FOR IT!!!
 
I agree with Smash..... sorry, but you need to sort things out with your family..... what do you get in return for doing the ponies? A roof over your head?
 
Tbh my mum is very good and she dosn't mind spending the day at a competition. I tend to tell mum when the comps are and as long as she dosn't have any plans, we just load up the lorry and of we go.

Is it not an option for your dad to look after his ponies? This way you could get a paper round, work in the local pub waitressing or something along those lines. Are you at college now? If not, would it not be possible to get a full time job? or would it be too much with the horses?
 
Thats a whole nother issue, but I will be going to uni
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, would rather go and work with horses now, but I will go to uni, decided parents might be right on this one.
 
i get 2 compete most weekends that there is something on and my parents r usually willing 2 take me ...

however i work my ar*e of, i have i job (which i h8 but i do it anyway), i have brought all my horses on myself from baby novices and i pay 4 all entry fees, put diesel in the lorry and anything else my darling boys may require!
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i appriciate that u clearly have had alot of success and u work very hard 4 it and do alot of work 4 ur parents anyway, im not entirley sure wot 2 think about ur job situation as IMO if u really wanted 1 u would find 1 (i did) however i dont no the hole situation so dont take it the rong way!
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somw day all ur hard will pay off so keep it up ... it will b worth it!
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Thanks...I managed to get my pony by myself, not ,y dads but I don;t get to compete them. I appreciate what your all saying about a job, but I really have NO time or ability to go to one. I get up at 6 at the moment, it takes me an hour to turn out and start maucking out. After school I get back at 4.30, and finish Mucking out around 5. After then I have atleast 4 ponies to exercise, so even if I really rush I would be finshed by about 7.30, and that is with only 4 to do, some nights it is all 7 need doing. I really don't think having a job ontop of the ponies and my 5 Alevels would be good. Let alone the fact I couldn't get there.
 
dont have a horse to compete as my loan horses owners compete them regularly (only done 1 show and that was on indie, friend blurted out "why cant lucy take indie to the woodside show 2moro cos u cant" and i got did, although i want to do some XC with indie next year are his owner will only trot round the course, lets him run out, yanks him in the gob, screams at him, wont follow in pairs when her partner is a XC schoolmistress arab mare who *Will not follow a cob who will only trot* and doesnt ride him. at a showjumping show me and our riding teacher had to chase indie round the course because she wouldnt ride him strong enough.

woah im having a b*tching session about and owner...whoops
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my mum is very supportive of me riding and would love to buy me a horse, although she can only let me loan
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she would love to see me compete next year, she enjoys making me happy and is chuffed with the pics she managed to order of me riding indie at woodside, and is pleased with my selection of 5 rosettes (2 from woodside, 3 from a silly show we did at our yard which i also did on indie)

so my mum would let me go every so often, - dad - never
 
I'm very lucky, and my mum generally leaves it to me to decide what we are doing when and how..Sort of just signs the check, and takes me all over the country to go to championships and stuff.

So I'm very lucky. I hope you can work something out!
 
Thanks, I hope so too. All the National stuff I quilify for they take me to, but its the little, fun thighs i'd like to do more of.
 
My daughter has just been reading this thread over my shoulder "What sort of parents don't let their children compete when they want to?!" she said, disbelieving, then added,,,,"And I don't sound like a spoilt brat do I!!??". Would add, and this is 100% true, this morning, as I'm a freelance groom, I had a couple of jobs to do but we wanted to go point-to-pointing at Cottenham, which started at noon, so daughter said she'd, er, "help" me, so we could get off to Cambridge.....firstly, she wouldn't get up, then she agreed to get up and be ready by the time I got back from doing our own horses....got to job number 1.....(you won't believe this.)......stable door closed in the breeze, she was about to go into the stable...she asked me (MILES AWAY!!!) to open the door for her!!!! She whinged and moaned through Job 1 and Job 2 (spent most of time talking to my "client" as daughter hunts with her), moaned the whole time about "poo" (yes, you get a lot of this with horses!), couldn't cope with mucking out on wood chips, refused to empty barrows, and was basically bloody useless!

Missed first and second race at Cottenham, our friend's horse came last (but at least it finished!) and I spent a small fortune on a new hat...............for ME!!!!!!

Spoilt brat, or what?

By the way, Rara, where about in Essex do you live? We're in the back of beyond in neighbouring Herts! Nearest shop 3 miles....petrol 6.5 miles!
 
We are in Dengie, We have a village shop(ish), that opens a few times a week, the next nearest shop is 5 miles, as is petrol.
When I was really young I showed shetties with my parents. We did so much, probably too much, I liked it but even I didn't like it that much and since then it has been a battle to go out. I do get much more than when I SJ'ed, as I was bad at that(apparently) so they never took me.

Enjoy your new hat!
 
Thanks, Rara, my new hat kept collecting rain water in the brim whilst point-to-pointing and every time I bent forwards a torrent of water landed on my dogs!

Then.......of course........daughter moaned that I'd bought a new hat (£39) and SHE needed a new jacket.............
 
I got my jacket when I was 12, and my hat and body protector when I was 7
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. I'm having a new body protector for christmas though, as my old on doesn't actually cover my boobs anymore, let alone body!
 
The jacket my daughter fell in love with at the trade stand where I bought my hat (casual-ish hat, not a riding hat) was a cool.......£399!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (God, I'm a mean mother!!!)
 
Consider yourself lucky... some of us come from families who don't know the back end of a horse from the front, had to pay for their own nag, sell it to go to university, now ride for 30 mins a fortnight and can't be guaranteed to ever own another horse
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All that aside I can see your frustration at not being able to realise your potential (especially as your parents have built you up in terms of giving you horse ownership, etc)... could you convince them that the horses deserve to compete more and be seen more because they are such great horses and they need to meet their potential
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?

But just remember... there's always someone worse off than you!
 
My mum will take me to pretty much everything, but if i pay for entries, and she will take me to pc and school training, sometimes she moans but all her friends are always there so she actually enjoys it i think she just likes moaning at me
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i hope things get sorted i do understand you and you dont sound spoilt at all. i just cant think of a solution because you physically cant get a job all i would say is sit down and speak to them but i dont no if that would be possible for you to do.
 
When I was your age we didn't have any transport. So the only shows I went to were ones I could hack to and I also had to pay all the entry fees myself. But, back then there did seem to be a lot more local shows and I could get to Badgeworth in about 90mins.

My mum would never have stopped me going to a show to do family things.
 
I had 4 jobs when I was your age! My parents have seen me ride 4 times in 22 years and have never paid a penny towards my riding or horses. I don't think they even know which end is which!

I lived in the middle of nowhere and cycled EVERYWHERE to get to jobs, as well as riding at 5.30am, doing school and working (from 5pm til midnight). I saved so that I could compete (and hire transport) when I could (which was probably about once a month) so to be honest, I think you're very lucky to have your parents support you as financially and emotionally as they do. I'm 25 now and still have to go on the same principle of competing once a month. Yes, I'd love to get out every week but I just can't afford it.

So try to think about how lucky you are that you get to do what you do, rather than dwell on what you can't. I guarantee you that if your parents weren't paying for the horses at all, there's no way you would have as many horses or compete as much as you do. I would LOVE parents like yours so maybe you should appreciate them a bit more and be happy with what you have!
 
I'm not so sure... we are lucky to have them at home and make our own hay, but my parents haven't paid a bean towards my pony.
Your commitment is amazing, but I really don't think I could fit a job in, I'm sure some people keep 7 ponies fit for a full time job, aswell as looking after 3 others.

As I said, it is just me having a bout of the spoilt bratitus
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Have you tried sitting down and talking this through with your parents? As the mum of a 16 year old I know that sometimes we both believe we are communicating but may as well be talking a different language. Perhaps you could try making a list of what it is you want, for example to go out once a fortnight, to get a job etc. Try explaining how you feel and asking what you could do to make them feel better about allowing you to do this. BTW this must be done without whining or shouting or huffing and eye rolling - that is guaranteed to get things off on the wrong footing.

You say you moved out for a while - I suspect you parents may feel that you ran away and are perhaps limiting your freedom to keep control of you (unfair but understandable).

Failing that you will just have to take what life has to offer at the moment. Some people dont have a horse, let alone the chance to compete. As others have said, once you get to uni all will change, you can get a job and get control of your life. You may then find that you still dont have enough time to compete more than once a month! Chin up and keep happy.
 
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