People pleaser

[imkeren]

Hi! Anyone else here who is a people pleaser?
It is really bad for me today. As I now consider to not buy a horse and instead lease one. The seller was dissapointed when I gave her a "heads up", that I got a surprising offer to half-lease another horse. I have not looked at the horse for sale, and I have ridde the potential half-lease once.
The half-lease horse is owned by my previous boss, she is really nice and I love the stable and people there. And with the half-lease I could buy an apartment eventually. If I buy I wont be able to.
I just feel like I will either dissapoint others or myself....

 

[Annagain]

I find it difficult to disappoint people too. I put it down to my ancestral Irish Catholic guilt and an early career in customer service. However, I wouldn't be feeling bad about your situation. If I've read correctly, you haven't even seen the horse yet and certainly haven't done anything to suggest you definitely would buy him / her so you haven't done anything wrong. The seller has a right to be disappointed that a potential sale hasn't materialised but she has no right to be disappointed with you. You've made a decision that's right for you and that's all you can do.

To look at it another way, buying a horse you don't want and can't afford (in terms of also navigating life) to avoid disappointing a stranger is madness.