People, selfishness and am I the odd one out?

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As per my username, I am in disguise for this post :) Wimp!

So we had a lot of snow on sunday. I keep my gelding at a large yard (40 plus horses), in the hills. There is a mix of full, part and diy liveries.

Sunday morning yard is under 8+ inches of snow. Yard Manager (nice chap) rocks up early (on his day off) with wife plus 3 x kids in tow to start clearing it so liveries can get about and staff can get on with their day to day jobs. Couple of liveries (me included) ditched the mucking out and mucked in, helped clear yard, salt it, clear 2 x schools, clear horse walker, cleared lunge area, clear car park, clear driveway you name it we cleared it, shovelled and salted like our lives depended on it. Took us nearly five hours with not much time off but a good job done - total number of liveries who helped... 6...

All the while other liveries walked past us, asked us to move so they could lead horse to field, got on and rode in cleared schools, complained a bit hard or a bit wet, put horses on walker etc etc. Many moaned about how cold it was, some rocked up mucked out and left.. some never made it down to the yard at all as 'snowed in' and lets face it - it was thawing by 12??

A couple didnt go up to the yard until about 1ish and then expressed surprise when their DIY nags were still in their boxes without hay etc. (had been hayed just had finished it)

A grand total of 4 out of 40 + liveries thanked the yard manager. Most seemed to think snow fell in neat piles and miraculously the schools, walker, car park etc hadnt been hit at all.

Left the yard wondering... am I the normal one and all these others ridiculously selfish/blinkered/just plain odd... or am I plain odd/stupid to help out like the minority? How do people not feel guilty for moaning/riding/watching as people are shovelling snow like their lives depended on it to make other peoples lives easier??

Please tell me I am normal???!:confused:
 

ThePony

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26 March 2009
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You are normal, though if yours and my yard are anything to go by, then in the minority!!
I don't know if people are selfish or just live in a bubble. Don't get it either I'm afraid!
Well done you though!
 

Flicker

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18 January 2007
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Great job - well done.
On our yard, when it snows, all the liveries muck in and help the staff clear (and keep clear) all the paths, yards etc. In fact, during the really rotten weather last year, lots of boyfriends / husbands also turned up and did a fabulous job with a lot of the heavy shovelling work.
 

SusannaF

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Berlin
As per my username, I am in disguise for this post :) Wimp!

So we had a lot of snow on sunday. I keep my gelding at a large yard (40 plus horses), in the hills. There is a mix of full, part and diy liveries.

Sunday morning yard is under 8+ inches of snow. Yard Manager (nice chap) rocks up early (on his day off) with wife plus 3 x kids in tow to start clearing it so liveries can get about and staff can get on with their day to day jobs. Couple of liveries (me included) ditched the mucking out and mucked in, helped clear yard, salt it, clear 2 x schools, clear horse walker, cleared lunge area, clear car park, clear driveway you name it we cleared it, shovelled and salted like our lives depended on it. Took us nearly five hours with not much time off but a good job done - total number of liveries who helped... 6...

All the while other liveries walked past us, asked us to move so they could lead horse to field, got on and rode in cleared schools, complained a bit hard or a bit wet, put horses on walker etc etc. Many moaned about how cold it was, some rocked up mucked out and left.. some never made it down to the yard at all as 'snowed in' and lets face it - it was thawing by 12??

A couple didnt go up to the yard until about 1ish and then expressed surprise when their DIY nags were still in their boxes without hay etc. (had been hayed just had finished it)

A grand total of 4 out of 40 + liveries thanked the yard manager. Most seemed to think snow fell in neat piles and miraculously the schools, walker, car park etc hadnt been hit at all.

Left the yard wondering... am I the normal one and all these others ridiculously selfish/blinkered/just plain odd... or am I plain odd/stupid to help out like the minority? How do people not feel guilty for moaning/riding/watching as people are shovelling snow like their lives depended on it to make other peoples lives easier??

Please tell me I am normal???!:confused:

:( I suppose that the best that could be said for them is that they think this treatment is included in their livery fee? Pretty poor behaviour, it has to be said.
 

ecrozier

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20 October 2006
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6,174
You are normal - or rather nice! There are an awful lot of people out there who think these things just 'happen'!! We are a fully DIY yard and even then, some stables have nicely cleared paths leading from door to field gate and others just compacting snow turning to ice!!
 

NeilM

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15 January 2008
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Nth Somerset
Same thing, but different.

I was the Chairman and mainstay of an air rifle club at a clay shooting ground, every Saturday myself and a handful (three to five) club members used to repaint all the steel targets, sweep out the indoor range, cut the grass on the outdoor range, do all the maintenance etc.

I regularly used to get moaned at by people wanting to use the indoor range, while we were working (we used to shut it for about 1/2 an hour on a Saturday morning). I have even had someone fire a shot at a newly painted target while I was still downrange (which effectively terminated his membership on the spot), and I also used to get complaints from members who no longer worked, due to retirement, about targets needing painting during the week "I noticed those targets needed painting on Wednesday, and here we are on Saturday and they've STILL not been painted". I used to point out to each and every one of them, that the club had over 250 members, and on the membership form they had filled in and signed, it was noted that all maintenance was the responsibility of CLUB MEMBERS..i.e THEM!

It was like water off a ducks back with most of them, and they were staggered when, after five years, I stood down from the committee and left the club... I needed a rest, and my life back.

It is a fact of life that 90% of people will happily watch others do all the work, and then tell them what a rubbish job they have done. :mad:
 

Hobbitpony

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I read in paper this morning that a man collapsed and later died in his local Tesco. Staff closed the supermarket aisle whist paramedics tried to save him and some shoppers complained about it. I have witnessed an RTA where motorcyclist was being revived by paramedics and they got 'beeped' by a driver because they were blocking the junction. Some people just do not give a sh~t!!
 

Puzzles

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Isn't it common sense for people to help out in this kind of situation? Or am I overestimating most peoples' capacity to think?
Good on you and well done for mucking in! It doesn't necessarily even take a kind heart as it was in ALL of the liveries' best interests to make sure that the areas they were using were clear! I wouldn't think it obscene to have charged the other liveries for your efforts ... it would've all taken 20 mins if everyone had chipped in.
 

Fantasy_World

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9 February 2007
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Well done for what you and the others achieved :) FWIW I would have been the sort to muck in and help too, as I am like that. However since owning horses I have been clearly shown just how selfish so many horsey people are. In fact mostly on the bigger yards I would say. Smaller yards I have found to contain mostly normal people. However it is the ones that have contained the 'comp' types who seem to assume that a magic fairy comes along and does all the jobs that are needed ;)
I can remember being on a place once and it was actually me and OH that set the ball rolling one winter and started to break up and clear some ice that was getting damned near dangerous. Yard owner did nothing to clear this.
So we made a start then some other livery starting chipping in and saying quite loudly how others should be helping, did they, did they *******. No just carried on doing their normal stuff while other folk freezed and got stuck in trying to clear ice which was several inches thick.
The ice had been caused by people dropping water from buckets as they filled it from a big tub that was being used as drinkers had froze. ALL the people on the yard were using it.
How many people actually helped to make it safe, oh around 6 max I would say in the end.
Then lo and behold after we had tried to clear the ice and made the area as safe as we could to make a safe passage to and fro, someone who had been soaking hay pushed a full vat of water and chunks of ice right over the area which would then of course re-freeze and undo all the work we had done. Some people. I gave up in the end and yes I did leave the place. Wonder how they got on last winter and how many people chipped in to make it safe!
 

OldNag

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It's sad that you are in the minority, but well done you.

I'm on part livery but if I see something that needs help with, I'll always offer to pitch in. I think I'm really fortunate in that on our yard, the liveries, whether DIY or part, do tend to be really helpful. It's that sort of yard. If there is one person sweeping the yard, they are soon joined by others.

I have always found it difficult to stand by and see someone working. I know technically I pay for it to be done but I just can't do that! I'm sure my YO thinks I'm a bit strange but when I'm up at the weekend if mine hasn't yet been mucked out, I am straight in there :)
 
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I'm in Ireland so no bad weather this year, just endless mud.

Anyway, last year with the really bad weather we all kept things rocking. It's a small yard but we all did the little things to keep it running smoothly. It was really nice. I live on a property here and so does YO. The other 2 liveries could have very easily left it up to the live in's but nope, everyone was brilliant. We never had frozen water or no way of getting horses out to fields.

OP, never mind about other people. You do what feels right. You are a doer and can hold your head high. But I also try and remember I don't know what's going on in people's private lives. A loved one in hospital, sick child, or just about anything. Well look it, I try to think this way as I hate to think it's just selfishness. Sometimes people only have an hour to escape reality with their horse.

Terri
 

MerrySherryRider

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Good for you and what a great YM (and family) your yard has.
Sadly, what you describe is so common, its normal. Its usually the busy people who get stuck in to help, while those with all the time in the world do nothing and expect everything.
The second most annoying people are those who grab a shovel, make a lot of noise about lending a hand and then leave after 5 minutes expecting vast amounts of praise and pats on the back.

Oops.. don't know where that little rant came from.:eek:
 

MerrySherryRider

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OP, never mind about other people. You do what feels right. You are a doer and can hold your head high. But I also try and remember I don't know what's going on in people's private lives. A loved one in hospital, sick child, or just about anything. Well look it, I try to think this way as I hate to think it's just selfishness. Sometimes people only have an hour to escape reality with their horse.

Terri
You're right, Terri. I'm feeling grouchy today being the only snow clearer/ice breaker on our yard, apart from a very old, partially blind YO who does far more than she should.
 

Tinsel Trouble

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This happened to me a couple of years ago in the cul-de-sac I used to live in. Only 4 houses there and one nearest the road had an elderly couple in it. One of the neighbours knocked on the door and asked if we could help get his and his wife's cars out the cul de sac- they were a nurse and a met-police officer. My landlady and I finished our breakfasts and got tools and went out to do this.

The police officer wanted help to clear two tracks infront of his wife's car so she could get out. I said that was silly and the tracks would freeze over- be more dangerous than the snow and we should clear the whole area. after the nurse's car was freed the PC stopped working- with his son- and went into his house. Neither of them left to go to work as we had been lead to believe. my landlady and I and 1 neighbour cleared the whole cul-de-sac and salted it!

There was no word of thanks from anyone!
 

noblesteed

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It is very good that the YO and you helpful people cleared the yard - no-one on yards I have been on have done that!!! In fact at the last livery yard I was on, I walked the 4 miles there to help out because the school where I teach was closed due to snow and we had a power cut at home. I had rung in advance to offer help in case other liveries who had to drive up couldn't get there. I got there, nobody was about and yard was snowed in. I began shovelling the snow to make a track for the horses/wheelbarrows etc to get out, then the YO turned up and shouted at me for piling it up in the wrong place! I never bothered again after that...
 

Batgirl

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It seems so random, while I have been housesitting/yard sitting it has been the week from hell, there have been some liveries who can't help enough, doing stuff for their own horses that they pay for to be done, offering to do all sorts, doing all sorts then there are some that just cause extra work almost because they can. Makes your blood boil!
 

I See Clover

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I think you are completely normal. I would have done exactly the same in your shoes. It really is horrible how selfish some people can be and how little they care.
 

Shantara

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I do more than my fair share on mondays. I muck out Ned's pen, round pen, school and horse field. It's more work than it sounds!! In return I get to get Ned down early and spend some quality time grooming. I don't mind doing it, infact I quite like it, but it does annoy me slightly to see people arrive, tack up and get on without doing jobs!!

Well done to you for helping!
 
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