People - Sorry Rant

[pansy]

I am on a small yard that 2 of us rent
5 horses between us
The other lady loans hers out 2-3 days a week
Sunday is one of the days for the loaner to come down
Over the winter months loaner offered to do a couple of mornings - wasnt asked - wasnt put under any pressure to do this - but the pay back on this was they didnt come down early on a Sunday - leaving ne to turn horses out
- not really a problem , did think of saying something - never got round to it
& just got on with it.
With the weather as it was on Sat - I wanted a bit of help on Sunday everything had frozen Sat & the snow was coming down - sent them a text asking them if they could come down early only to be told it wasnt possible -
The other lady who owns the horses came down - there was no real reason why they couldnt make the effort they just couldnt be bothered & they have now terminated the loan - no notice given - I sent them a text saying sorry they had given up etc.. But hoped that we would still be friends etc.. as I considered them friends have known them a long time & knew them before they loaned the horse - only to be ignored
Surely in bad weather you make more of an effort - I still cant believe that things have ended so abrubtly with what seems like such ill feeling towards me for asking for help -I explained that things were frozen & we did not know what the weather was going to be like the next day - only to be told - sorry we cant hep

 

[Cazza525]

I'm sorry you're upset, I understand. I thiink you must just brush this off though. In reality, the true responsibility lies with the owner, not the loaner. This is why some people choose to loan rather than buy, because they can hand the horse back if things get tough!

 

[Bikerchickone]

I know what you mean, people are a nightmare sometimes, much prefer horses Must admit, first thing I thought after reading this was that they were looking for an excuse to not have to do the horses at all in bad weather. Them quitting just because of a request for help doesn't make sense so maybe there was another reason for it.

Their loss I would say, they'll regret it in a couple of months when the weather is lovely and they haven't got anything to ride. Afraid I've had this myself with loaners when the weather gets bad, they all want to stay indoors! Don't take it personally.

 

[pansy]

Thanks for your replies - I also think that that they were probably looking for a way out - the sad thing is as I said I thought they were my friends & they haven't even been down to say goodbye to the horses
You live & learn - Why do people have to be so complicated - the horses never cause a problem it is always the people x

 

[Julia0803]

It does sound a bit weird and abrupt...

But maybe they felt awkward or pressurized about not being able to come to the yard? Maybe they were worried about driving in the snow, or had family commitments?

Or maybe they are just being a bit odd!

 

[pansy]

Or they had no way of getting to the horses early, Had other things that needed doing, sometimes these things just can't be helped, and you never can be sure what else is going on in someone's life.

As I mentioned these people are/were friends they have a 4x4 snow no problem - yes something was going on but they could of worked round it -
didnt want to - I have heard to them refer to Sunday as their lie in day - I have never had to ask for help before if there was a problem with the loaning they could of talked to the lady they loan from & have a break if needed & or give up the loan (we arent wicked witches- honestly)- it is the way they have done it & the fact that they have ignored me since that has done my head in - I was only concerned about the horses welfare in these snowy conditions - if that makes me a bad person so be it - the horse has taken her hacking jumping hunting etc & they have looked after each other surely 1 snowy Sunday morning wasnt too much - apparently so - Their loss -Such a shame

 

[Puzzles]

Their reaction seems a bit extreme, you're right. The problem isn't so much that they couldn't come to help, it's more that they didn't give you a good reason and gave the impression that they just couldn't be bothered. If they had said they were busy and sorry but they could come in the evening or would make up for it in another way, then fine. But I don't really see why they would find this a reason to terminate the loan! Strange... it's a real shame as there was no notice and it makes them appear uncommitted and careless, particularly since you considered them as friends.
I witnessed a similar kind of situation, where a loanee immediately ended the arrangement because she had made a mistake re. the care of her horse (i.e. ignored a request from the horse's owner which meant that the horse lost out) and when the owner let the girl know that she wasn't happy, the girl ended it there and then - she had no ground to stand on so threw a fit. Shame.

 

[Tickles]

It sounds as though you don't know/aren't able to post on here the full story with these people giving up the loan.

As a sharer if I was asked by someone other than 'my' horse's owners to be somewhere at a certain time at short notice then I'd probably regard that as optional. And I'd be a bit embarrassed at beign asked.

I also don't take the opportunity to see old share horses very often... it can be a bit upsetting when you've been very close.

The loan/sharers heere may respond to your text later, when whatever is going on in their lives has settled down a bit.

Ignore for now and text again (with an invite to pub or whatever you would do that /isn't/ horsey) in a few weeks?