People who kept riding/horses when they had children

SaddlePsych'D

SaddlePsych'D

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Please can I hear a bit from you and how that worked?

Prompted by a theme of posts from parents, usually mums, who get back into horses/riding after having had children and given it all up for years.

I'm on the fence about the having children bit, less so about the horses bit! I stopped after uni then got back into horses after lockdown, then had to stop again for a while because of being unwell. I'm not sure that giving it up again for years, after all the work to get it back, is something I want to face.

Surely it doesn't have to be one or the other? I'd love to know how you made it work.
 
Full livery but still only managed a few rides each week.

I think if the family is horsey that helps but mines isn’t/wasn’t and you have to be careful with kids on livery yards. Perhaps if I’d had horsey family and horses at home it would’ve worked better.

Got back into competing as the kids got older but I’d lost my edge as it were and then age caught up with me a bit.
 
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Rode my sensible horse up until 34 weeks in pregnancy no.1, was back on a couple of weeks after childbirth. I took my son with me to the field and rode round his buggy (on that same extremely sensible horse) with teenage sharer standing with him for safety. The spicier ones got ridden when I had childcare.

No.2 was a girl and my hips got too stretchy so I had to stop riding at 8 weeks (well that and the endless nausea). I had to get sharers in to keep the ponies moving. Got back on a couple of days after birth - bareback and was cantering across the field a few days later. Wouldn’t recommend that particular activity so soon as she bucked, I put my hand down to grab onto her mane and dislocated my thumb because my ligaments were still all loose from having the baby 🤦‍♀️. Fun trip to A and E to have it put back that was not!

I then had two kids and multiple ponies - teen sharer watched both in the buggy in lieu of payment for her share pony and I gave her free lessons too. Bought a Shetland when my eldest turned 4 and then that was childcare for one sorted. By the ages of 7 and 5 both were off lead and hacking out with me.

Am I competitive now like I was? No. But I could if I really wanted to. Has the whole experience been a new level of equestrian fun? Definitely. Wonderful excuse for cute small ponies and hours and hours spent outdoors!
 
Working as a groom. Had to stop at three months after near miscarriage. Back on board six weeks after birth with baby in carry cot either in barn while doing chores or in house with owner keeping an eye when I exercised the horses.
 
I think you'll get 101 different responses because everyone's pregnancy and experience is different. An old colleague of mine rode until she dropped effectively, and was back in the saddle within weeks; think she left the little one with OH to go do the horses. Other people I know stopped, took the time, left horses in field/found a sharer, and went back later on. If there's anything I've learnt about friends with kids and horses, even the best laid plans go out the window the moment baby arrives, and at the end the day, horses will always be there, in some form.
 
Kept ponies on my own land. I managed to keep one in work with the help of OH and I honestly dont know how I'd have stayed sane without my little yard. Having to go out twice a day and have a routine was wonderful and so was the bolt hole when I needed a break from being a parent!
 
Elderly loan horse on diy livery. Stopped riding at about 5 months at it was an icy winter, and horse a bit silly to hack. Had a sharer who ride twice a week. Trained non horsy husband up in basic mucking out and grooming! Baby born in April, super helpful fellow liveries took over for about 1 week then horses all went to summer turnout out 24/7, I drove down with baby once a day, baby in pram while I caught horse and did basic checks. In winter did mucking out with baby in snowsuit, rode once a week on weekend while husband took baby.

Things that helped:
Very kind fellow liveries
Super chill baby, never cried
Horse v nice to handle
Quiet livery yard so I went when no one else was around and arranged things so there was always a fence or stable door between horse & baby
 
teapot said:
I think you'll get 101 different responses because everyone's pregnancy and experience is different. An old colleague of mine rode until she dropped effectively, and was back in the saddle within weeks; think she left the little one with OH to go do the horses. Other people I know stopped, took the time, left horses in field/found a sharer, and went back later on. If there's anything I've learnt about friends with kids and horses, even the best laid plans go out the window the moment baby arrives, and at the end the day, horses will always be there, in some form.
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That's okay to have different responses, it was mainly wanting to hear how/to what extent people kept horses going in their life rather than giving up completely :)
 
No advise to give but I’m following this thread with interest!

I stopped riding in my teens and pretty much didn’t think about horses again for 20 years. I started dipping my toe back in this year and had weekly lessons for a few month before I had to stop.

I would love to part loan next year and maybe own at some point.

My kids are 5 and 6. Realistically I don’t think I would have time for a horse on diy and I wouldn’t want one on full livery. I work in the day so it would mean I would barely see my kids in the week as I would be at the yard after work, and then they would be in bed. It just wouldn’t be fair on them or my husband.

My job is quite flexible and I wfh 3 days a week so I could potentially make it work, my worry is that I will stretch myself too thin and always be chasing my tail feeling like a bad mum a bad horse owner and a bad employee.

I just need to win the lottery so I can quit my job and spend my day doing horse stuff while the kids are in school!
 
I failed, fully intended to do the baby and riding thing but circumstances were against me.

I have lots of friends who made it work though. You need a bit of back up wether that’s baby or horse or both but I think it’s do-able as as above probably really good for you to get that bit of time out.
 
Sanversera said:
Kept my horse on a farm with a flock of sheep. Didn't ride much after baby was born. When child went to nursery rode then.
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Similar. They lived out, it's only the last few years (6/7, at my current yard) that they've been stabled at night through the winter. My husband would have them on a Sunday when they were small so I could ride. Although they don't really ride now (daughter has an occasional wander round the lanes) they still tag along for the evening trip to the yard most days and they're in their late teens now.

ETA it's having a full time job that has now curtailed my horse activities! I've ridden once since I started! It's not going to be sustainable long term so if I can't negotiate less hours I'll have to look for something else part time. It's just about available time, it's available energy too!
 
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I worked incredibly long hours before I had a child so as soon as he came out I sold my car and bought a horse.
He was fairly neglected but he’s grown into a pleasant enough adult. I had an obliging MIL and a baby monitor that worked just far enough for me to lunge or ride while he napped.
 
This was before horses cost a lot of money. I rode at weekends and when my husband worked from home. I then sold my horse and bought a young pony to bring on and a then cheap LR pony. I always bought things that could winter out and did DIY and both my daughters rode and went out with them. Its still fun but it's different.
I saw someone at a local show with her two sons and the family pony, and she has something bigger.
 
I rode through most of pregnancy with the first - back on 10 days after birth (actually getting off was harder than riding!)
My son slept in pram by the side of the school, I got used to dropping everything and running for the tack when he went to sleep
As a toddler he got shut in the cab of an old tractor while I was moving horses around - which he thought was fab
All sorts of stories that would raise an eyebrow I'm sure but he's a strapping 14 y/o now so it can't have been all bad.
mucking out with a baby in a rucksack on your back is good for gaining strength

Tips
- supportive OH - it's his child too so he gets a say and takes a share of the load
- expect the unexpected - my second I had an emergancy c section under general anesthetic and was unable to get off the sofa for weeks.
- back up plan - friends / yard staff / sharer so you have options.
- yard flexibility - babies in prams are actually easy - bored toddlers are much more tricky to keep safe.
- sane type of horse - if he has to be ridden 6 days a week that's going to be tough to guarantee, one that can be picked up and put down a little is much much easier.

The only think I really gave up was proper completing - taking a whole day out to drive 3 hours to some top venue then hours competing and 3 hours home again just isn't realistic for me personally - even with teenagers. I feel to selfish to not see them that much.
And the fitness that proper competition requires means a level of commitment I can't give
 
Hmm easier if you have support around you. Mine was one of those that woke up the minute you got to the yard so I couldn't leave her somewhere sleeping. It did curtail riding for a bit. Horse was on full livery so she was fine. I think if you have support and someone to look after the little one for an hour or two life around horses is easier but it also depends on what else you have going on in your life. Baby, full time work, partner and a horse would be tricky, maybe end up riding at weekend mostly.

You might find your priorities change too :)
 
I have a one year old. Only bought a mare to ride 7 weeks ago and so far have been making it work. Thankfully I have a family member keeping her at her farm and I have great support in my partner and family. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be able to make it work.
I'm lucky to have my own land and stables at home so I was able to keep youngsters and broodmares at home. It helps that my partner and family are horse people so they helped out when I wasn't able to do much after emergency c section.

A lot of women I know had babies around the same time as me and are horse owners. Many rode with the babies asleep in the buggies. I keep a cheap aldi high chair down the stables that I can put the little one in when I have jobs for doing. I meant to get a playpen for him but he would probably try climb out of it now but I'm going to get one anyways to have for the winter :) I was at a riding club show on Sunday and saw so many mothers going around with babies less than a year old, it was so lovely to see but made me miss my little man and wish I brought him with me 😢

I work full time and so does my partner so it has been a struggle to keep up the riding and I only ride max 4 times a week. I've a plan in my head that in the next few weeks as the evenings are getting shorter she will be put out for the winter and only brought in for the odd hack on a nice day.
 
It depends if you work full time, how far away your yard is and how much support you have around you. I have a daughter and work full time, my yard is 20 minutes away and we have no support (I live abroad). I need to have my pony on full livery, I manage to ride three times a week and have a sharer. In reality, we no longer have weekends as a family and there are days when I barely see my daughter. But she has time with her Dad and doing activities. There are a couple of people on my yard with small kids, they ride a couple of times a week, live within five minutes. The rest don't have children.
 
Things that make it possible:

- a sensible horse
- good turnout, ideally 24/7
- supportive partner who is happy to have the baby
- supportive family
- horse being at home/close to home
- flexibility with everything
- baby carrier on front
- toddler rucksack for yard jobs

I didn't give it up, but I had all of the above and it is still a challenge to balance it all, but if you want it enough you'll find a way
 
I rode until I had a threatened miscarriage so stopped then until the last few weeks when I would cool down my horse after someone else had ridden him. It was a few months after having my son that I started riding again as I had a c-section and some complications, however once back again I used to ride in the evening once Mr EM was home to look after the baby. I got back into competing and riding regularly as I was lucky to have family on hand for childcare however we didn't travel for stay away shows with a baby. My good horse was starting to wind down and I just did things more locally riding for other people until my son started to do Pony Club and some shows and it became clear that there really wasn't time for us both to be out and about so I stopped competing. Once he moved onto bigger ponies and horses I would help him with fittening and schooling and when he went away to uni I did all the pre season work for three horses until he came home to compete.
 
I’d imagine the relative ease with which continuing with horses and kids will be dependant on 3 main factors …
1. Finances - support with childcare and/or horse care
2. Local support network
3. Your health - horrid time during pregnancy/birth/PND might over ride the above.

I’d say the vast majority of people I know who have kept up with riding, have had to adjust their expectations and, if they haven’t done so, it’s potentially at the child’s impact
 
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