people who ***** on your dreams

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Equestrianforever28

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unfortunately I'm around people who ***** on your dreams , however i don't listen but they keep going on about it which is starting bug me .

i have been offered a great working pupil opportunity at a pro event yard and
which i am super excited about however when i go up to the yard my mums on they say that i shouldn't do it and keep horse riding as a hobbie rather then a lifestyle and that i should help them out instead(i don't get anything for helping them apart from experience ).

however i don't want to keep it as just a hobbie i want it as my life style im willing to work very hard for what i want and i am willing to learnn
 
Live your dream - you only have one life....

My mother insisted I went to uni and have a 'career' - after 5 yrs in an office I couldn't bear it any longer so quit, and now run a small yard. I am worse off, but a lot happier!

And if it goes wrong, at least they will have the satisfaction of saying 'I told you so!!'
 
Sidney said:
Live your dream - you only have one life....

My mother insisted I went to uni and have a 'career' - after 5 yrs in an office I couldn't bear it any longer so quit, and now run a small yard. I am worse off, but a lot happier!

And if it goes wrong, at least they will have the satisfaction of saying 'I told you so!!'
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my parents are very supportive of me and few people believe i can do it however they are not on the yard.

my dreams are to become a 3 day event rider and breed event horses to compete.
 
What year are you in, and what would you do if you weren't at the event yard? Is the event yard good? Is the person a proper pro, or one of those 'pros' who we tend to find have done about 1 event but sell themselves well?

I can see your mum and your yard's point if you're in Y11 tbh. My sister has always wanted to be an eventer, since she was about 9, but mum and dad got her to stick her education out right through til after 6th form. She left this summer with 3 passes at A-level under her belt and is now in hot demand for freelance groom type jobs (she also nannies the kids with this, out hunting as well) which helps support her eventing habit. Her plan is to really get going this year and then find a WP position if she's in a position where it'll be viable. Her A-levels might not help now, but if some awful accident happens and she's injured she has a back up of some grades to help her do something new...
 
jeeve said:
Take the opportunity if it is what YOU want, and do your best to make it work out. Sometimes things work out and somtimes they don't, but at least you will not sit there saying, what if.

They may be a little jealous, good luck with it.
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they want me to help them out for free and i won't get anything which i said well f you.

they think I'm still a novice rider but I'm not I have been told time and time again that I'm an advanced rider.

i don't ride at the yard anymore i go off for lessons and they still don't believe what i have learn't.

I'm used to no riding school horse so it is a bit hard to get used to dead the leg horses again however i have had some amazing comments on my riding.

2 people have said i looked like a professional rider when i was schooling there horses.
 
Lolo said:
What year are you in, and what would you do if you weren't at the event yard? Is the event yard good? Is the person a proper pro, or one of those 'pros' who we tend to find have done about 1 event but sell themselves well?

I can see your mum and your yard's point if you're in Y11 tbh. My sister has always wanted to be an eventer, since she was about 9, but mum and dad got her to stick her education out right through til after 6th form. She left this summer with 3 passes at A-level under her belt and is now in hot demand for freelance groom type jobs (she also nannies the kids with this, out hunting as well) which helps support her eventing habit. Her plan is to really get going this year and then find a WP position if she's in a position where it'll be viable. Her A-levels might not help now, but if some awful accident happens and she's injured she has a back up of some grades to help her do something new...
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its a 3 day event rider and i would ask around for rides.

I left school due to serve bullying which nearly led me to cut my self so i have been home schooled.

the yard im at wants me to work for them for free and i get nothing in return no riding , no money just experience in handling hence why i was schooling other peoples horses.


my parents think i should go for the working pupil position as it is a great start for me on my riding career.
 
I think you have to go for it. In the long run, its better to regret the things you've done, not the things you haven't. If things don't work out, well at least you tried, then you kniw it wasn't right, rather than always wondering, 'what if'.
 
So the people who's horses you look after for free don't want you to go for the working pupil position - I wonder why? Maybe because they'll loose their free groom - do what you want and what you dream off, if this is a good working pupil position then those don't come along very often so grab it
 
Equestrianforever28 said:
its a 3 day event rider and i would ask around for rides.

I left school due to serve bullying which nearly led me to cut my self so i have been home schooled.

the yard im at wants me to work for them for free and i get nothing in return no riding , no money just experience in handling hence why i was schooling other peoples horses.


my parents think i should go for the working pupil position as it is a great start for me on my riding career.
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Go for it then. They may even have a horse for you to ride, who has been stepped down the levels but still likes a party!
 
Honestly? From what you've written about yourself, I don't think you'll hack a working pupil position. You sound too fragile of mind and unable to cope with negativity - of which you will recieve A LOT. A pro who take you on will not think you fart butterflies and are of pro standard, and will appear to you to **** on your dreams, sorry.
 
You sound like a bit of an attention seeking brat to be honest but i think you should go for it, Whats the worst that can happen? Mummy and Daddy will keep you so it doesnt matter what you earn!!

Good luck :)
 
Pah, do what YOU want to do, get as good GCSEs as you can and if you want to go on to do more education or change to a more office based career in future it won't be too late, better to make a go of it now while you are young and enthusiastic than go back to it later when you have other commitments.
 
However, to qualify this advice, think very carefully about whether you would be able to cope with bullying. My understanding is that this is fairly common at yards; if this happened at your yard, would you cope without harming yourself? I suppose the best thing to do would be help a couple of weekends and seeing how you found it, and the people you'd work with. Would you be living away from home, because if so, especially if first time away, would be likely to magnify any problems with others.
I think that you should also consider what you would do if you hated it, do you have a plan b?
 
mperson01 said:
However, to qualify this advice, think very carefully about whether you would be able to cope with bullying. My understanding is that this is fairly common at yards; if this happened at your yard, would you cope without harming yourself? I suppose the best thing to do would be help a couple of weekends and seeing how you found it, and the people you'd work with. Would you be living away from home, because if so, especially if first time away, would be likely to magnify any problems with others.
I think that you should also consider what you would do if you hated it, do you have a plan b?
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i wouldn't cut my self now i have had some therapy to help and im much more better then i was.

the reason why they get to me is because they constantly on at me its like an unbroken record when its none of their business.

i know people will **** on your dreams but there way of ******** on your dreams is really shocking.
 
Go for it! If you want to and your parents support you then why not give it a try?

And to those who are ******* on your dreams, listen to Lilly Allen's ******* you, it makes life a whole lot better ;)
 
Equestrianforever28 said:
my parents are very supportive of me and few people believe i can do it however they are not on the yard.

my dreams are to become a 3 day event rider and breed event horses to compete.
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Sorry EF28, here comes more pee.

Almost no-one makes any kind of living out of breeding event horses even if they own their own land, and very few people make any kind of a living out of being a three day event rider and most of those have family money/land behind them.

Go do your working pupil stuff but plan to earn money sitting in a call centre once your year is up, or you will starve.

I'm afraid it's called "reality", not p*ssing on people's dreams.
 
wow some unnecessary harsh comments towards the OP...Blimey how about showing some support? OP give it a go...What's the worst case scenario? It don't work out & you go back to the drawing board so to speak. You only live once xx
 
Go for it then OP! If you think you'll cope try it. if you hate it leave, at worst you can call it a 'gap year adventure' and use it on your cv as work experience. I was home educated for a number of years, and have always found that home ed and the horses showed employers the abilty to work without supervision and be self motivated.
 
I have to agree that your ultimate goal of being an event rider and producing horses may not happen, but if you are happy with doing the lower level stuff to get there then you can but try! Lots of people struggle with bullying in their school years but that doesn't mean they are weak of mind as some comments have suggested!

Victoria Pendleton was a self harmer, I should think getting a medal in the Olympics was fairly high on her list of goals and required support from someone or other.

The people who you think are trying to knock you down may be trying to give you a dose of realism, but if you think you would be happy in the horse industry or at least to try it, you will have no contract saying you should stay there forever...

Clearly you have already spent some time working on a yard for free, so you may already be aware what it can be like, and if you find it too much seek support, at worst you can give up and go home!

You don't really have to explain yourself, but maybe people are just worried your goals are a long way away and will you be happy with somewhere in the middle? Of course most people would, and at least you can say you tried.
 
Go for it, you will always regret that you did not take the chance.

If it does not work out, then try something else. Many people change jobs and careers, it is very hard when you are young to know what you will want to do in a few years time.

Work hard, learn and build your confidence. You will gain skills that will make you attractive to employers.
 
You currently have a volunteer job for a bunch of mean people. You've found the job and you have your parents support, so you may as well go for it. You've not exactly got anything to lose! And though I don't think your dreams are achievable, you could still make a career working with horses. There's a saying, something like "aim for the moon, even if you fail, you might land on a star".
 
Equestrianforever28 said:
they want me to help them out for free and i won't get anything which i said well f you.

they think I'm still a novice rider but I'm not I have been told time and time again that I'm an advanced rider.

i don't ride at the yard anymore i go off for lessons and they still don't believe what i have learn't.

I'm used to no riding school horse so it is a bit hard to get used to dead the leg horses again however i have had some amazing comments on my riding.

2 people have said i looked like a professional rider when i was schooling there horses.
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Hi OP - 'advanced rider' is quite a woolly term which doesn't say much out of context. Out of interest, how long have you been riding, do you have your own horse, and what level are you competing at Dressage, SJ and Eventing (and when level training at home)?

It is a harsh reality that however talented and hardworking, the majority of people will not make it as professional eventers, without a lot of money behind them - and if you haven't already ridden at a decent level, you'll be starting off on the back foot.

There's no harm in following your dreams but you also need to be realistic and having some back up from education will really help you if it doesn't work out.
 
Don't knock it. My friend only started to ride when he was 14, but was very natural. In 5/6 yrs he went from nothing to getting rides at 1.30 Bsja, rode as a pro for a while and then decided that he didn't want to do it anymore and has now got a new career! All from a completely non horsey background and no encouragement from family. Personally I would go for it, it's easier though to get rides SJ as a working pupil. I would be looking at going to a couple of good producers yards, plead your case and learn on the job. If your that enthusiastic and willing to learn, someone will put the time in to you.
 
Equestrianforever28 said:
im a confident rider who can walk ,trot, canter , gallop ,jump and do lateral work
i hope to go eventing in the future
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Honestly, I'd say rather than peeing on your dreams, people may (sadly for you) be realistic.

Plus the vendeta I recall you having against anyone trying to make it in eventing with money makes you quite unattractive - I'm sure if you spouted stuff like that on any of the yards I was a WP at, you'd be out in a trice!
 
DGeventing said:
Honestly, I'd say rather than peeing on your dreams, people may (sadly for you) be realistic.

Plus the vendeta I recall you having against anyone trying to make it in eventing with money makes you quite unattractive - I'm sure if you spouted stuff like that on any of the yards I was a WP at, you'd be out in a trice!
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they were tryng to make it in dressage with just money alone and the rider doesn't do much just rides and does nothing with the horse the parents were doing all the work.
i meant to put just money and no hardwork.
 
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I also say go for it but with open eyes and knowing you may have to do other jobs to make ends meet after the WP job.

I'm sure you'll find being a WP quite hard and to impress you'll need go be quite quick thinking and confident - I believe it was you that asked on Friday how to het from Hamps to Shropshire for an interview... Have some faith in your own abilities and don't look to others for answers

And definitely don't tell the owner of the event yard that you see yourself as a pro rider, be humble and if you are as good as you say let them find out for themselves in the time you are there :)
 
If you have support from your parents then go for it, if you dont youll always wish you had.
Tbh from some of your comments, im not sure you will cope well with some of the characters you might come across, some riders/trainers are brutally honest, and other pupils vying for the same as you will happily throw you under the proverbial bus if it gets them on and you out of the way.
That said you might find theyre lovely, and and will have a great experience and youre right, you wont know until youve tried :)
 
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