People with sharer's/those that share, advice please!

J

J&C

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 June 2011
Messages
96
Location
Norfolk
Visit site
I will try to make this as short as possible...

I share a horse, his owner is unemployed and claiming jobseekers benefits. Although she told me I would just be paying a 'contribution' it has come to light that I actually pay for everything and she relies on my money. Whenever I am at the yard, the yard owner comes and tells me that she is behind on her livery payments and asks me to remind her. I don't know how far behind as I feel it's a bit rude to ask and owner has never mentioned it to me.
I pay weekly and always leave my money on a set day, never late. However all week I constantly get texts from her asking for the money and reminding me not to forget it, then after the day, i get texts asking if I've left the money yet. She has NEVER asked me how I'm getting on with the horse, what we've been doing etc, she has no idea what I do with him.

Recently, I have been extra busy with work and on top of that a relative was rushed into hospital, and before I knew it a month had gone by and I hadn't been able to get to the yard at all. I had text her during this month telling her I hadn't been going down and saying I wouldn't be leaving money and she seemed fine with it. She has now text me really rudely demanding a months money, basically saying horse will starve and be kicked off yard if I don't pay.

So those that share or have sharers, do you think I am responsible to pay a months upkeep for a horse I haven't even seen in that time or not?

I'm really upset because I love this horse but I really don't think I want to share him with an owner like her...
 
I think you need to establish what is your responsibility in terms of costs and what isn't. To be honest, most owners charge a set amount per week but some will charge as per how many days you ride/ have the horse plus contribution to shoes.

We all have our own life's and circumstances outside of the yard but unfortunately the horse does still need to be paid for regardless of this, how often you get to ride or otherwise. As for it starving, that is probably debatable given your comments about the owner. Then again, if you're that unhappy with your arrangement can't you by fond another horse to loan?
 
If you have a share agreement, you can't just not pay because you haven't been riding the horse - it doesn't work like that.

That said, owner sounds like a nightmare and I'd be getting out pronto.
 
I'm a sharer, wouldn't dream of not paying my 'livery' for 4 weeks (or not visiting horse for that period of time). My 'owner' factors my contribution into her budget and would struggle without it.

xx
 
I’m a sharer and i wouldn't put up with this.
I know it’s hard because you don't want to punish the horse but you are not the owner and the whole point of a share, well for me anyway is because i can't afford a horse of my own and wouldn't want to be financially responsible for one.
If i was you i'd pay any out standing money and give her notice. Maybe a bit harsh but you need to escape the emotional blackmail.
Good Luck!!
 
If my sharer couldn't come to see the horse for a month I would still expect her to pay although we seem to have a much closer and less one sided agreement than you seem to. Sharers can't have it all ways, less commitment, less cost, less long term financial burden, no ties..... It doesn't seem fair sometimes - for example if a sharer has a set day and then can't do it for some reason then the day gets handed back to owner.. In my opinion the sharer should be liable for assisted costs on that day if it is their regular slot...

A tough one as there are other annoyances but as far as the month goes I would expect you to pay.
 
I agree with Spiral, if you have an agreement to pay a set amount each week/ month then you would need to pay that whether or not you had time to ride or see the horse. That said, she does sound a tad pushy, I guess if she doesn't have the money to support the horse it's making her stressed and possibly not at her best. If you like the horse maybe just reassure her that you won't forget to pay, you have been paying all along haven't you?

I do know how you feel though, if I feel that someone is pushing me the whole time, particularly for money, or when I am already doing my best, I tend to get a bit obstinate myself.
 
Whilst your owner doesn't sound the best, you can't just choose not to turn up for a month and not pay, for that particular issue owner has every damn right to be angry.
 
You still need to pay. If you don't want to then I suggest you go to lessons at a riding school. My sharers all pay by direct debit monthly. That way I know it's done. I wouldn't want you as a sharer if you were flakey and didn't turn up for a month. What concerns me most about your situation is who is looking after the horse while your not there and it seems owner is also absent? Again as a yard owner I wouldn't put up with this (unless on full or part livery) and the whole lot of you would be asked to leave!
 
However, as you are a sharer, it's not your responsibilty to fund any extra costs or help out if the owner is low on funds. I'm an 'owner' and have had many sharers who have just paid a set amount each month, regardless of whether they rode/came to yard or not.

Seems like 'your owner' needs to really consider whether or not they can afford to own the horse.
 
As a sharer, if I simply hadn't showed up for a month, I wouldn't expect the owner to let me off paying. After all, jobless bum or not, people don't share their horse for the fun of it and the horse still has to eat, wether I'm there or not.

If I were on the other side and someone was sharing my horse and they had a genuine reason for not having shown up (like a relative in hospital) or had arranged to have the month off, I'd probably let that months money go, because it's my horse, therefor my problem and if I starve in order to feed it that month, then so be it. Plus, if they were as reliable as you, I'd be afraid to loose them.

I suspect if it went on month after month and they were just not turning up, I'd begin to think I was well within my rights to either find another sharer or tell this one that they will now be paying for part livery on the days they should turn up but don't. Since it hasn't gone on for months, however and she can't seem to decide wether she's ok with it or not, I suspect the owner has a screw loose. It's not easy keeping a horse on JSA (yes, I speak from experience, no, I won't go into the discussion again) and it does get you down from time to time but that's no excuse for rudeness or to make believe other people should pay for your horse.
 
Agree with above

Yes you should still pay regardless of whether you have actually been to the yard or not the past month. I have shared many horses in the past and this is normally the case, for days I have not been able to turn up either the owner will arrange to be there or I would have to pay the yard owner to do the horse. I would suggest that you pay for the weeks you have not done so and look for a new share if you are not happy with the current situation.

It would be a shame for the owner to loose a reliable sharer like you, but the horse is the owners responsibility and should not be completely relying on a sharer to keep the horse fed etc. As stated above it is very difficult to keep a horse on JSA and I know that everyone's situations can change, but there is no excuse for becoming rude and guilt tripping you.
 
Last edited:
sounds like you dont have much of an agreement in place though or you'd know where you stood on this already.
not having this sorted out to begin with with both parties being aware of whats expected of them in terms of responsibiilty for the horse on each day of the week, what type of livery its on and finances usually ends in disagreement or resentment.

if you want to continue to share this horse id get something inw riting with the owner going forward although as others have said already, she sounds like a bit of a nightmare.
if you're paying exactly when and how you've agreed with her why is she always asking you if you've paid?

To answer your question though, yes you would be expected to pay the month you haven't ridden.
Just about every share agreement works this way as you have chosen not to ride that month (through personal circumstances or choice) thats not the owner's fault and the horse's upkeep still has to be paid for.
 
BillieBlitzen said:
Sharers can't have it all ways, less commitment, less cost, less long term financial burden, no ties.....
Click to expand...

Surely that is EXACTLY why people share???? :rolleyes: I don't have the time, money or experience for my own. So I share, I wouldn't say I have it ''all ways'' lol.

OP, I would expect to pay regardless of whether I rode him or not.

BUT the horse is not your responsibility at the end of the day, and ditto what others have said, the owner sounds a bit nightmare-ish. If I did buy my own horse, I would try not to find myself in a position where I relied on a sharer. On the other hand, I know some people do share their horse because they need the money. Personally I don't think I could ever trust someone enough to RELY on their contribution.

I don't really know what the answer is tbh!
 
I was a sharer for 2 years. I paid every week, whether I rode him or not, even for the weeks he was lame because, as the name indicates, you are sharing the horse. The owner doesn't seem ideal so if you aren't happy with the situation maybe its time to look elsewhere.
Sharing can be such a lovely experience but you must make sure both parties are happy with the agreement.
 
Chiff Chaff - my point is that sharers can't have it ALL ways.... All of those perks and then not turn up for a month and expect not to make a contribution. The least an owner can expect from a sharer is consistency and a contribution either time, money or whatever is agreed. I have been both sides of this coin and firmly believe that sharers need to commit, not full time - that's the point (which I fully understnad because I'm not an idiot ;) )
 
BillieBlitzen said:
Sharers can't have it all ways, less commitment, less cost, less long term financial burden, no ties..... It doesn't seem fair sometimes - for example if a sharer has a set day and then can't do it for some reason then the day gets handed back to owner.. In my opinion the sharer should be liable for assisted costs on that day if it is their regular slot...
Click to expand...

i dont think sharers do want it 'all ways' tbh

and while it may seem unfair to you that sharers have less commitment, cost, ties. financial burden etc but that's because its YOUR horse!

i would however certainly expect a sharer to keep up their side of the agreement and would be less than pleased if my sharer didnt turn up at the last minute to do the horse when they were expected to. Would love to know how i could enforce making them pay extra livery costs for that day for my horse though.

at the end of the day, the horse isnt the sharer's responsibility though, its yours/mine as the owner.
 
Lula - I think people are missing my point or I haven't explained very well....

Quite clearly OP as a sharer wants it all ways - less cost, time, commitment etc AND wants to swan off for a month when life gets in the way AND expect not to contribute in that time AND expect to pick up where she left off. I would say that's unfair........ I am very grateful to my sharer who is pretty bloomin' fantastic, we are fairly flexible and I love having her share but if she went away for a month I would expect her to pay, if horse went lame I would expect her to pay, if costs went up we would have to renegotiate.... Sharers can't have it all ways :)
 
BillieBlitzen said:
Lula - I think people are missing my point or I haven't explained very well....

Quite clearly OP as a sharer wants it all ways - less cost, time, commitment etc AND wants to swan off for a month when life gets in the way AND expect not to contribute in that time AND expect to pick up where she left off. I would say that's unfair........ I am very grateful to my sharer who is pretty bloomin' fantastic, we are fairly flexible and I love having her share but if she went away for a month I would expect her to pay, if horse went lame I would expect her to pay, if costs went up we would have to renegotiate.... Sharers can't have it all ways :)
Click to expand...

I understood exactly what you meant and tbf, think most people do. As an owner, I share my old mare to help with her costs and get her more one to one time. If I didn't need the financial contribution I wouldn't do it. It would be far far more easy to not bother! So a sharer deciding not to come down for a month or pay would be waved goodbye. If you want that sort of ad hoc arrangement then book in at a riding school. I would be annoyed if someone did keep chasing me to make sure I have left the money though..
 
i agree with you billie regarding the OP

although- and this is purely an impression, im assuming this may be her first share as she seems unfamiliar with the way it works as regards how important it is for the owner her financial contribution is a regular one and hopefully now she undertsands she will be quite happy to pay even if she doesnt ride. (giving her the benefit of the doubt here :D )

im also assuming she has no yard responsibilities looking after the horse on the days that she rides otherwise disappearing for a month would cause even more difficulty to the owner.

If all she has to do is turn up and ride and the horse is on full livery she should think herself lucky.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top