Bay_Beasty
Well-Known Member
I have been sent home from work twice, and my house is empty. I can't stop crying and I really would like some help. I'm sorry 2 ask this but it hurts so much.
Please distract me from the pain
- Thread starter Bay_Beasty
- Start date
Rana
Well-Known Member
No advice, just *hugs*
lucy1984
Well-Known Member
Why have you been sent home? What's wrong?
lucy1984
Well-Known Member
oooh im sorry ive just seen your sig comments
Eira
Well-Known Member
((((((((((((lots and lots and lots of hugs))))))))))))))))))
If I was closer I would come and keep you company , I have nothing to say that will make it better , I am useless with words
Just want to give you a hug
If I was closer I would come and keep you company , I have nothing to say that will make it better , I am useless with words
Just want to give you a hug
Bay_Beasty
Well-Known Member
Lucyfer my poor Baby Boy got put down yesterday, he broke his leg, he was only 8. I kept crying at work so they sent me home, but home is just full of memories of Dougal and is no better.
chickeninabun
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Why have you been sent home? What's wrong?
[/ QUOTE ]
See Bay Beasty's siggie. Her beloved Dougal was PTS yesterday
Not sure what to say to distract you but have some (((hugs))) hun. How's your other ponio holding up, was it Twiggy?
Why have you been sent home? What's wrong?
[/ QUOTE ]
See Bay Beasty's siggie. Her beloved Dougal was PTS yesterday
Not sure what to say to distract you but have some (((hugs))) hun. How's your other ponio holding up, was it Twiggy?
Slinkyunicorn
Well-Known Member
BB - I don't know what to say to make it any better or make it hurt any less. Maybe go and give Twiggy a hug - otherwise just keep taking the Rescue Remedy.
Lots of hugs from me and my beasties.
Am so sad for you.
Lots of hugs from me and my beasties.
Am so sad for you.
f_s_
Well-Known Member
((((hugs)))) It is awful, and you will feel like sh*t, but just try and remember the positive things.
Gradually you'll get better but it's not easy. x
Gradually you'll get better but it's not easy. x
diggerbez
Well-Known Member
i don't know if it will help but could you perhaps start to make yourself a really nice album or scrapbook about dougal? it might be too painful but it would be really nice to look at pictures of him and remember the fun you had together rather than the horrible mess you have now? you could maybe write down your thoughts and memories around your pictures and get some good poems together. it might not help at all but i personally would rather DO something.
or go for a walk?
Bay_Beasty
Well-Known Member
Twiggy is O.K. Coping much better than me. She spent last night in a field with a friends horse and cam home this morning to her stable. I have just spent an hour with her, but I think I was upsetting her so I just left her to snooze away the day. Poor thing, she is such an amazing pony, she has been through so much and she has taken it all in her stride. I'm so glad I have her to help me get through this.
Chico Mio
Antedeluvian
I don't know what to say, you must be devastated
big hug (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Just cry if you need to, we're all here if you feel you want to talk.
big hug (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Just cry if you need to, we're all here if you feel you want to talk.
Bay_Beasty
Well-Known Member
Thanks Diggerbez, I want to do that but I can't right now. Even just looking at photos is really hard. I may try a walk, that might work.
I havn't eaten anything properly in over 24 hours, food just doesn't taste of anything any more.
I havn't eaten anything properly in over 24 hours, food just doesn't taste of anything any more.
Ellies_mum2
Well-Known Member
So sorry
Have no advice or rather none that hasn't already been given
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
RIP Dougal
Have no advice or rather none that hasn't already been given
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
RIP Dougal
lucy1984
Well-Known Member
I'm really sorry for asking I didnt read your siggy until the last minute xx
I've just read your post from yesterday, I cant even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Life can be so unfair sometimes. You have lost your best friend and you must feel like your whole world has been turned upside down. When I lost my mum last year I felt like a part of me had been ripped apart. I really was gutted. Although it's a bit easier now, it still hurts, but you must try to do something to take your mind off it. Have you got any friends who you can talk to? I'm here for you if you need to talk xx
I've just read your post from yesterday, I cant even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Life can be so unfair sometimes. You have lost your best friend and you must feel like your whole world has been turned upside down. When I lost my mum last year I felt like a part of me had been ripped apart. I really was gutted. Although it's a bit easier now, it still hurts, but you must try to do something to take your mind off it. Have you got any friends who you can talk to? I'm here for you if you need to talk xx
Vizslak
Well-Known Member
So sorry, it's a horrid feeling. I can't think of any constructive advice, but definately go and do something to distract you for a while, as Ishy said if u were closer I would pick u up and get u tagging along with me for the day chatting nonsense. Huge ((((((hugs)))))))).
maxapple
Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Its so so hard. I lost my horse over 2 years ago and I remember how awful I felt for those 1st few days afterwards in particular.
I took my dogs for long walks around all the places we used to hack. I must have walked a hundred miles in the two days I didn't go to work. As soon as i got home I'd burst into tears again, but walking keeps you busy and will help you sleep later as you'll be tired. Its hot today so take lots of water & something to eat.
Big Hugs for you.
xxxxxxx
Its so so hard. I lost my horse over 2 years ago and I remember how awful I felt for those 1st few days afterwards in particular.
I took my dogs for long walks around all the places we used to hack. I must have walked a hundred miles in the two days I didn't go to work. As soon as i got home I'd burst into tears again, but walking keeps you busy and will help you sleep later as you'll be tired. Its hot today so take lots of water & something to eat.
Big Hugs for you.
xxxxxxx
Bay_Beasty
Well-Known Member
Don't worry Lucyfer, it's O.K. All my friends are at work, and my Mum who was about when I got home from work the first time, has gone out just for a bit. I have been asked by my work to come back in after lunch, they said they were going to give me something to do, but it would be away from the children (I work in a nursery)so that if I cry they won't see.
misst
Well-Known Member
Oh you poor poor thing. So very sorry that you lost your boy in such an awful way.
Nothing to say to help you but the pain will ease - but it takes time so do not rush yourself. You must do anything you want or nothing if that is what you want. Work sound understanding so make the most of the support.
Eventually the scrap book will help and lighting a candle in hoofbeats in heaven is nice.
There are lots of people on here who know how you feel sadly. Make the most of their support too. (((((HUGS)))) and thinking of youx
Nothing to say to help you but the pain will ease - but it takes time so do not rush yourself. You must do anything you want or nothing if that is what you want. Work sound understanding so make the most of the support.
Eventually the scrap book will help and lighting a candle in hoofbeats in heaven is nice.
There are lots of people on here who know how you feel sadly. Make the most of their support too. (((((HUGS)))) and thinking of youx
ironhorse
Well-Known Member
Two things might help - A few years ago my friend's mare died unexpectedly when she was in foal, massive heart attack.
I'd ridden the mare a fair bit and was terribly fond of her.
We sat down with a drink and chatted about the mare, good and bad, and there was more laughter than tears. She always said how much that had helped.
When my hunter was put down, it was less of a shock because he was crippled with arthritis and we'd had to make a tough decision about horse that was perfectly sound turned out but would have made a terrible field ornament. I wrote an 'obituary' about him, again good and bad, and summing up how much he'd given me and other riders - I'd been riding him for 10 years. It really helped and made me feel much more positive.
Good to hear that your employers are being sympathetic - mine wasn't!
I'd ridden the mare a fair bit and was terribly fond of her.
We sat down with a drink and chatted about the mare, good and bad, and there was more laughter than tears. She always said how much that had helped.
When my hunter was put down, it was less of a shock because he was crippled with arthritis and we'd had to make a tough decision about horse that was perfectly sound turned out but would have made a terrible field ornament. I wrote an 'obituary' about him, again good and bad, and summing up how much he'd given me and other riders - I'd been riding him for 10 years. It really helped and made me feel much more positive.
Good to hear that your employers are being sympathetic - mine wasn't!
Cash
Well-Known Member
Massive (((hugs))), and as for having friends to talk to, i think look no further than this forum! As said above a lot of people on here know how you feel. Thinking of you x
Archangel
Normal, 10 cats ago
I'm not surprised you feel like you do. When one of mine died tragically I thought I would never be able to eat again, my throat sort of siezed up with the immense grief - so big ((hugs)) to you.
I found I couldn't be near anything familiar and cleared off for a day, went and sat by the sea and howled and howled and howled.
I agree with the keeping occupied but for me I had to completely change the scene, even for a few hours.
More ((hugs)).
I found I couldn't be near anything familiar and cleared off for a day, went and sat by the sea and howled and howled and howled.
I agree with the keeping occupied but for me I had to completely change the scene, even for a few hours.
More ((hugs)).
wildpoppywild
Well-Known Member
so sorry bout ur horse
such a shame. i think we build such a strong bond with our horses mine are like family i cant imagine being without them
i hope ur other horse is doin ok and i hope u feel better soon
((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) from me and my 2
xxxx
i hope ur other horse is doin ok and i hope u feel better soon
((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) from me and my 2
xxxx
Hippona
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
i don't know if it will help but could you perhaps start to make yourself a really nice album or scrapbook about dougal? it might be too painful but it would be really nice to look at pictures of him and remember the fun you had together rather than the horrible mess you have now? you could maybe write down your thoughts and memories around your pictures and get some good poems together. it might not help at all but i personally would rather DO something.
or go for a walk?
[/ QUOTE ]
I think this is a briliant idea.....get your photos and rosettes out....look at them all and smile and cry.
Its normal to feel like this.....time will lessen the pain but you will never forget him, and you wouldn't want to either.
Hugs hunny......why not take a week off work and spend time with your other horse if possible.
I think part of reason its hit you so very hard is the suddenness of it...it wasnt expected and you couldnt have planned for it
i don't know if it will help but could you perhaps start to make yourself a really nice album or scrapbook about dougal? it might be too painful but it would be really nice to look at pictures of him and remember the fun you had together rather than the horrible mess you have now? you could maybe write down your thoughts and memories around your pictures and get some good poems together. it might not help at all but i personally would rather DO something.
[/ QUOTE ]
I think this is a briliant idea.....get your photos and rosettes out....look at them all and smile and cry.
Its normal to feel like this.....time will lessen the pain but you will never forget him, and you wouldn't want to either.
Hugs hunny......why not take a week off work and spend time with your other horse if possible.
I think part of reason its hit you so very hard is the suddenness of it...it wasnt expected and you couldnt have planned for it
Daffodil
Well-Known Member
Lots of hugs ((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))).
I don't know what to say to help, I don't think there is much other than heaps of sympathy coming your way. Suddenly like that is always the worst. At least with illness there's a degree of control from the owner over what happens, but with Dougal you had no warning. How about spending as much time with Twiggy as you can, just pottering about, tidying up the yard, sitting and reading something with her. When my boy was PTS (Cushing's related laminitis, so was prepared to a certain extent) I watched old videos of Badminton and the Europeans all night, it was the only thing that seemed to go some way to occupying my mind.
Thinking of you. xx
I don't know what to say to help, I don't think there is much other than heaps of sympathy coming your way. Suddenly like that is always the worst. At least with illness there's a degree of control from the owner over what happens, but with Dougal you had no warning. How about spending as much time with Twiggy as you can, just pottering about, tidying up the yard, sitting and reading something with her. When my boy was PTS (Cushing's related laminitis, so was prepared to a certain extent) I watched old videos of Badminton and the Europeans all night, it was the only thing that seemed to go some way to occupying my mind.
Thinking of you. xx
lucyloo7
Active Member
I am so sorry for your sad loss. As much as I would like to, I don't think there are any words to take away the heartbreak you are feeling at the moment. Sometimes, I think the only to deal with grief is to remember that is is a healing process and every tear that you cry at the moment is a step to feeling better. You will never forget your horse or stop missing him but you will be able to cope with the loss better and in time you will have happy memories of him. It is devastating time for you and I think you need somebody with you to give you a big hug and help you through this. X
Fizzimyst
Well-Known Member
Keep busy, keeping busy is the key. Busy hands make an idle mind and all that. It'll hit you in waves, but try to keep yourself busy xx
MrsMozart
Just passing through...
Hugs hun.
When Tigs went I cried for weeks - in meetings, out of meetings, driving, sleeping, it hit me and I'd be gone. I found that listening to one track over and over again helped to effectively numb my mind - I listened to the same song in the car for three hours solid driving back from a client's site.
It may well sound awful hun, and you have every right to rant at me, but I found that there was such a large hole in my life that I couldn't fill without a horse. I think it was two weeks after Tigs had gone that I went looking again. The horse I have now is not a Tiggy replacement, she is a different horse. If we didn't have the other neds then I don't think I would have bought another one, but with having to be around them, it was too hard without one of my own to fill my time with. If I see a horse like Tiggy in colour or build I still cry. When I first rode Dizz, I just wanted Tiggy back: it's taken time to bond with her, but I realised when I could go in the stable with feed that Dizz was in some ways easier than Tigs.
Sorry, gone into rambling stage: I know what I want to say, but the words are bumbling up on each other.
When Tigs went I cried for weeks - in meetings, out of meetings, driving, sleeping, it hit me and I'd be gone. I found that listening to one track over and over again helped to effectively numb my mind - I listened to the same song in the car for three hours solid driving back from a client's site.
It may well sound awful hun, and you have every right to rant at me, but I found that there was such a large hole in my life that I couldn't fill without a horse. I think it was two weeks after Tigs had gone that I went looking again. The horse I have now is not a Tiggy replacement, she is a different horse. If we didn't have the other neds then I don't think I would have bought another one, but with having to be around them, it was too hard without one of my own to fill my time with. If I see a horse like Tiggy in colour or build I still cry. When I first rode Dizz, I just wanted Tiggy back: it's taken time to bond with her, but I realised when I could go in the stable with feed that Dizz was in some ways easier than Tigs.
Sorry, gone into rambling stage: I know what I want to say, but the words are bumbling up on each other.
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
Big {{{Hugs}}} and sympathy.
Personally if I try to hard to stop crying that just makes it worse. For me the key is that I allow myself to cry a while and then I force myself to do some things that I usually do, routine things. I walk on dog walks with the dog that is left, feeling numb and empty, sometimes crying, but we walk. I sit and watch favourite TV programs on TV and they go in one ear and out the other but I force myself to watch because it occupies my mind a little now and then and that is better than just sitting staring out in nothing.
I also allow myself to really think a lot about the animal I've lost, about the things I miss, the things I love, the things I maybe won't miss as much but still miss because it was part of who they were. If it hurts, I say let it hurt, feel the feelings but force yourself to continue with the daily chores because that is what keeps you from getting absorbed by sadness.
After all you loved him, he sounds like a wonderful and very special horse, so hopefully you have lots of bright and wonderful memories to think about. When my dog Humla died last year, one moment I could laugh at how she always was convinced that there was room enough for her too (including the time at our summer home, when she had been outside and rolled herself at a spot that must have been soaked in urine and then came in and squeezed herself in between me and a nephew sitting watching TV, sooooo happy to say hello to us...), next moment I cried like Niagara falls because it would never happen again (well you know, not the urine stench but her happy way to always squeeze herself in) and in the end I can never feel 100 % sad for long, for having had the privilege of knowing an animal that brought me so much joy.
More {{{Hugs}}} and sympathy.
Personally if I try to hard to stop crying that just makes it worse. For me the key is that I allow myself to cry a while and then I force myself to do some things that I usually do, routine things. I walk on dog walks with the dog that is left, feeling numb and empty, sometimes crying, but we walk. I sit and watch favourite TV programs on TV and they go in one ear and out the other but I force myself to watch because it occupies my mind a little now and then and that is better than just sitting staring out in nothing.
I also allow myself to really think a lot about the animal I've lost, about the things I miss, the things I love, the things I maybe won't miss as much but still miss because it was part of who they were. If it hurts, I say let it hurt, feel the feelings but force yourself to continue with the daily chores because that is what keeps you from getting absorbed by sadness.
After all you loved him, he sounds like a wonderful and very special horse, so hopefully you have lots of bright and wonderful memories to think about. When my dog Humla died last year, one moment I could laugh at how she always was convinced that there was room enough for her too (including the time at our summer home, when she had been outside and rolled herself at a spot that must have been soaked in urine and then came in and squeezed herself in between me and a nephew sitting watching TV, sooooo happy to say hello to us...), next moment I cried like Niagara falls because it would never happen again (well you know, not the urine stench but her happy way to always squeeze herself in) and in the end I can never feel 100 % sad for long, for having had the privilege of knowing an animal that brought me so much joy.
More {{{Hugs}}} and sympathy.
cariadssogreat
Well-Known Member
Hunny I am sending you heaps of hugs and sympathy. This must have been awful as you had no warning or time to prepare.
I know the two occasions where I have unfortunately had to part with a horse ( a 4 yo & my 1st pony) I did take some time off work.
It is only natural to greive - and therefore you shouldnt try and stop yourself
Things will get easier with time- sending you hugs. Sending Twiggy hugs too
I know the two occasions where I have unfortunately had to part with a horse ( a 4 yo & my 1st pony) I did take some time off work.
It is only natural to greive - and therefore you shouldnt try and stop yourself
Things will get easier with time- sending you hugs. Sending Twiggy hugs too