Please help horse and mainly rider crisis.

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tashyisaudrey

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ok. things have reached a head. I'm sitting here in tears shaking. Went to lead my horse round the yard and she just went beserk, almost landing me in hospital ... again. She was rearing up and bucking and nearly sent me flying. I'm doing a course in equine and to be honest I'm beginning to think I'm not cut out for all this. I'm also thinking maybe I am going to have to sell. I'm looking at all our rosettes and pictures and remmebering jumping her, in chase me charlie last summer. Now I'm too afraid to even get on, in fact I'm scared to lunge her., and now - lead her. I just don't know whats happened. I moved her in January to a new yard and to be fair, she hasn't had much turnout and with me fracturing my hip (nothing to do with her) not a hec of a lot of work either. I've had to get other people to ride her for me, but its also a money issue I can't afford to pay loads to people to ride her for me, so I have been forced to struggle. I just don't know what to do.

sorry for miserable post
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The thing i have learnt over the last 12mths with big lad is, if i'm not confident, he takes the piss.
I lead him out with a body protector and a hat on, this makes me feel confident and he doesn't p**s about as much.
Losing confidence is a downward spiral, it gets worse.
take a hold of yourself, put yourself outside of your comfort zone ever so slightly and do what ever it is you are backing off from.
Sorry if this sounds very general, but you will know what i mean when you start doing it.
Chin up, take a deep breath and smile!!
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Jo
 
This is really sad and I really feel for you. From what you have said, yard move, hip fracture etc everything has come to a head. I think when you personally had an injury, you become more aware of hurting or further damaging yourself and this can arise in a temp lack of confidence whilst things fix.

I wonder if this yard is bigger and loads more activity around, you did'nt mention what your previous yard was like. It would be interesting to compare the two and see if you can find a link with your horse being more unsettled. I think you mentioned less turn-out which can cause problems.

I would be more inclined during the winter months, to perhaps find the horse 24 hour turnout with shelter if possible, to reduce your work load and costs. Or perhaps loads more turnout.

Hopefully, this will sort the job, and you can then start work to sort out the in-hand manners and get them re-established.

I know it looks bad, but I feel sure you will get your former relationship back with your horse, a few things need to be changed to make that happen.

Good luck, I hope you get loads of posts supporting you.
 
I do feel sorry for you - what a nasty situation to be in but let's just look at a couple of the obvious things: She's not been working so much, have you cut her feed right down? Unless she's very prone to losing weight try her on hay, hay and more hay.

Secondly - what were you leading her in, if it was a headcollar then try the next time with a bridle or a controller headcollar.

Thirdly - I'm betting at least a part of this is likely to be your nervousness over your hip, so it's not caused by the horses it just manifests itself there. If you are still in touch with whoever provided your physio ask them to help you with some exercises to prove to you that you can get your balance back quickly and can dodge out of the way. Just feeling thatyou can get yourself to a place of safety (out of the way!) may help your confidence.

Hope some of this helps.

The other thing would be can you get a sharer?
 
I feel very sorry for you. Losing confidence is a hard to thing to get back, but it is possible. Never give up hope.

From what you have said and what the others have written, sounds like everything combined has lead to this situation.

Once spring comes round and your horse has more turnout, that should take the edge off the fizzyness. Would it be possibel to get a sharer to help with the costs and ride to take the strain off you until you are fit and well again?

Don't lose hope, confront your fear (easier said than done!) and you'll soon be looking at pictures from this years showing x
 
thanks so much guys
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I have cut her feed right down through fear yes - she is only on hay. My last yard she was out full time, but I was really bullied there, and they didn't treat the horses properly. By contrast this place is much nicer, but there is no turnout and a man who criticises me all the time saying what I'm doing wrong. I don't get a lot of help which is what I need, and they charge the earth for it when I do ask for it. I just don't have the money. My hip is still very sore, and when she bucked tonight I was really frightened she would hurt me. She had a playful glint in her eye, but I just can't cope with it.
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A sharer seems like a good plan - I know she would love to jump and compete with someone more experienced - do you think I could find someone who would want to ride her? She's very very talented. I don't want to sell because of the fun we've had, but I want her to be happy at the same time.
 
Oh what a horrible situation to be in.

I'm sure you will have no trouble finding a sharer - there always seem to be lots of people looking. You might even find that, as well as helping financially, a sharer might help to boost your confidence in your horse, as you will get to see another person enjoying her.

Good luck x
 
What a horrible situation to be in. I have read all your posts (including the one about the lazy cob. lol). Obviously you are not happy at your present yard and neither is your mare. Can you not find somewhere else where (1) you will not be bullied and (2) she can have much more turn out and (3) you will have support rather than critiscism. If you really like your horse, try and find somewhere else away from the bullies where you will both be happy. Good luck!
 
The simple answer for you and your little horse is to get her out in the field. She sounds as if she is turning herself inside out.

If your yard doens't have turnout, then can you look for somewhere that does. Sounds like a problem that's not going to go away, and potentially get worse, until you can sort out the turnout issue.
 
If I kept Ty in 247 without work he'd be EXACTLY the same - you need to get her outside if you can't ride her just yet.

Is there anyone else that can stick her on a lunge to take the fizz out of her?

I do understand how you feel - I went into a bit of downward spiral at the end of last year but I'm finally getting my confidence back. It's a vicious circle and you really have to push yourself back into it and blag your confidence or it's just going to get worse.

Can I ask what breed she is?
 
Really hope you get it sorted, out, i can only echo the advice given above, get her turned out, get someone to share her and boost both of your confidence, and move to somewhere you will be happy. We spend far too much money on our animals not to enjoy them, it will come back, you are just going through a rough patch as we all do....

Just get some help and give yourself a chance...
 
I went in this morning and was really confident around her. she's ID X TB by the way. Told her to get back when she tried to barge me. she was surprised. I led her round and the same thing happened, I was scared but I just kept calm and tried to ignore it. She will be lunged today for me by a friend. I think your right though, maybe its time to move.
 
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we only have summer turnout - but I think it starts earlier than summer probably about may. They are then out full time until the end of october.

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Ah I see - though that's what it sounded like.

Well yes, definately sounds as if you're going to have to find somewhere more appropriate to keep your horse then really doesn't it?

Good luck.
 
I broke my hip two summers ago and it has taken a long time to recover, for me the loss of balance and mobility (and putting on a lot of weight) have been the main issues so I completely sympathise. Having a good sharer has been the key for me, it has taken the pressure off and I don't feel guilty about riding less than I did before..and the horse still gets to go out and have fun with a confident rider.

I know that as I get fitter my confidence and everything else will return but it isn't something you can force. don't worry, your situation will improve, but I would agree with anybody else who has said that more turnout would help
 
i too have confidence problems.. which i am slowly working through .. my trainer told me to go BIG and sort of inflate my chest whenever my mare is having a hissy fit .. and u know !! it works .. its done great things for my confidence .. working on the riding part now !! ... i too have took my mare off hard feed and is only being given ad lib hay ... try bach flower resue remedy .. it really works .. will take that edge off you that she`s picking up on

Good luck !!
 
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