Pony with seperation anxiety, help!!

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MegStables

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Help !
To get straight to the problem skip to paragraph 3, the first two are just there to give a bit of background of his behaviour since he’s been with us.

Two months ago we bought a 13h German riding pony for my 11 year old sister. He’s extremely sweet but also very bargy. We first put him with my mare and they got on extremely well with to start off with (which is surprising considering she rarely likes other horses!). We then had to remove him as he started to mount her because she was in season and displaying stallion-like behaviour around her (although showing no aggression to us when removed)! He then had no choice but to be put in a field on his own and he hated that (ie. Running up and down and upsetting all the other horses). After an unsuccessful combination we finally found a match for him so he wasn’t on his own or fighting! He is currently in that field next to my mare (with a gap in between).

After him taking a while to settle in we decided to take him to a rally on his own but would not load (although he loaded perfectly when we brought him back from his old owners). And then when he did, he was panicky (rearing and kicking) in the lorry. After doing loading practice he now loads ok and is ok in the lorry now, phew! He has since been to two competitions on his own and been a complete angel at the showground and in the arena.

Last Sunday we took him competing with my mare (they ADORE each other) at home they are next to each other constantly at hacks, are happy to be bum to bum (which again is a surprise for my mare!) and neigh to each other all the time. Anyway they loaded fine but when arrived at the showground they were inseparable, him rearing and kicking whenever my mare left, they both refused to jump and it was just chaos! Yesterday we took them both on a hack and my sister and him left (or tried to) to go to her riding lesson and it was the same scenario: proper rearing, bucking, bolting etc. Her instructor refused to teach him and advised us to sell him. He is generally quite a stressed or “energetic” pony. So basically the problem is whenever he starts something with my mare (ie a hack, lorry drive etc) it is impossible to separate them after to go do separate things, it’s like he just has one massive tantrum.

I don’t know what to do! Is this separation anxiety something we can work through? Any solutions or experiences on this would be very welcome!
 
Sorry to say I never solved this problem...tried for years. It can settle but I had to move my mare in the end.

We have a mare and gelding at our yard that are like this...luckily neither will do anything except scream.

It will probably improve...I did lots of taking the mare away for 10 mins...20 mins...bla bla bla...it takes some patience!

If you have the option to separate then I would. Someone else may have had success....and may offer something more useful :)
 
Thanks, so he's not a youngster then ( thought he might be). You could sell him but if you are prepared to spend the time on him then you would have a good chance of sorting his behaviour out. If it was me, I'd forget travelling for the moment and get him into a routine of doing things with your mare ( hacking, scholing etc) where they're together for fifteen minutes or so then take her away for similar time and then bring them back together for a further ten/ fifteen minutes and work them together. And I'd keep doing this until he gets used to the idea. it may take a week or two or three. but eventually he'll realise that its fine and start to chill out a bit. And she will do the same. Once you've cracked that well then I'd do the same with them in your box, take both out for short ride, come home drop one off then go out again, come back and unload second one. It is repetitive stuff but will pay dividends once you get going consistently, good luck!
 
It is likely that he was cut late and possibly covered mares in Germany, by putting him in with your mare at a time when he was stressed by new surroundings etc. he has now formed a real attachment to her which may be very hard to break.
I think it may be that for a while longer you need to keep them completely apart while your sister works on getting to grips with him and he can really settle in, a different more helpful instructor may be a good idea to work through the issues rather than saying get rid.
He sounds like a nice pony that just needs time and things on his terms to some extent trying to avoid situations until both pony and rider are more confident with each other. Then you can gradually get him going out with the mare again for some hacks without separating them on the ride.
 
We did wonder whether he was cut late and I think it is extremely probable that he did cover mares in Germany.

He does have a routine at the moment, he is ridden everyday etc.. and most times with the mare, the problem is that he does become dangerous when we try to seperate them and I think the fact that he could've been used as a stallion definitely would enhance this behavior, so are there any exercises do you think we could try on foot ? Also would you recommend "horsemanship " (for example Parelli) ?


Thank you all so much for your help!
 
I would just keep to routine but take the mare in the arena with him, stand quietly and let him work with her watching if that helps.
If he lunges it may be useful as he can be pushed without risk to your sister, general groundwork and instilling basic manners at all times, putting the mare in a stable while he gets worked as long as she does not call to him.
I would not travel them together, it may be a pain but until he is safe and your sister is able to cope every time he behaves badly is reinforcing it and the tie will take longer to break.
A week at PC camp may be the perfect answer, so much to do he will not have time to worry about where his friend is and he may come back with a better attitude .
 
Ok thank you Parker79 and Parelli is just so expensive anyway!

Also I did forget to say that he is rubbish tied up on his own, he paws the ground for attention.

Right we'll try seperating them for short periods of time!

be positive, unfortunately we don't have the possibility for a complete seperation due to the current field set-up, but we have now arranged to have another instructor! We haven't tried lunging him yet, but it is definitely something we can do. We were actually planning to going to PC camp with him (but my mare will also be going!) so due to this behavior we weren't sure if it was a good idea just in case he did really play up. But if they handle him well it could really be beneficial.

Thank you all so much for speedy and helpful replies!
 
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I think the only thing you can do is separate them its a complete pain when this happens but some geldings can not be allowed to have mare friends try to team him up with a gelding get into a firm routine with him and see if it improves .
I dealt with a really bad issue with a gelding once by giving him regumate ( can't complete of course ) but it did solve the issue and we weaned the horse off it after time and he was fine regumate acts as a tertesterone inhibitor if given to geldings
 
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